I've read where women will likely have around 8 relationships before they settle down and men will have more than twice that number. I've often wondered why this was so I lurked on some other message boards which discussed relationships which were largely dominated by women. It seemed that young girls were taught "boy smarts" starting at an early age. Slumber parties, sleep overs, girls book clubs where Romance Novels were read and discussed by girls in the circle, and girls dance parties (for girls only) where they would learn these social graces and at the same time much discussion of boys. There was discussion of "Flirt Parties" (again girls only) where they would learn those skills too. These were often conducted by older sisters, cousins, aunts and so forth. Thus to prepare these young girls for
the time the guys would start to notice them and show interest. (so they would be prepared and be able to handle various situations)
I would also read women speaking of their daughters as "weed's" as they grew up so fast. Boys were described more like fine wines which took longer to mature and mellow. So the boys were directed into "guy things" like sports, outdoors crafts such as the Boy Scouts, and skills they would learn from Dad or other adult males. This believing that young boys would need to be prepared to make a living and support their family. But the young guys were often totally unprepared for their interest in girls when that time came to them at puberty. Some suggested it was why the ongoing casualties of divorce which started back in the 60's and has stayed with us.
Some of the guys whom I've known who have fared best in all of this had older and younger sisters. So they grew up with some insights to what their sisters were learning.....and weren't so blind to the ways of girls. Many girls looked to guys a few years older than they were with hopes that they had by that time learned how to better handle themselves around women if the guy had had little or no social training.
As one of these guys pointed out to me, "look at the magazine racks at the stores and notice how much of the shelves have women's magazines and what their topics are....and then look at the smaller section of men's magazines and what their subjects are." Notice too how many of the men's magazines feature girls in bikini's on the cover or at least showing a lot of skin & glamor style. So many young girls must think, "guys must really be dumb". (while at the same time thinking, "when I get older I want to look like her)
One of the greatest eye openers for me was when I met this charming fun girl who told me she had something she needed to explain to me. She told me she was "Bi" (meaning bi-sexual). Until that time I hadn't known any bi girls. As we got to know each other better she explained that in her view guys gave sex to girls thinking they were giving love......and girls gave their emotions to guys as if it were sex. (this is what she told me at least) I asked her what she thought about two girls together and she explained that they gave emotionally......but sex for them was a different matter. (just as much emotional desire for each other but no chance of pregnancy) But I figured it was worth listening to her views as she could understand the connection of people together from both sides. One of her friends I met later made a remark that when she was a girl she saw boys like dogs and girls like cats. Boys being bold and adventurous and girls being cautious and discrete. So if you put girlhood training with boy smarts together with that the girls may be better prepared. (at least in the case of the girls who got that training) As for the boys being bold and adventurous without any girl smarts.....it may take them up to 20 relationships before they can find someone right for them.
Some while back I started the thread, "Choosing to be single and on the road", to gain people's views on this matter. When you think about it....this is why Bob Wells started this CRVL thing.
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Before my grandmother went into alzheimers and later died, she wanted to talk with me and share some thoughts. (older people tend to do this when they think their time may be nearing) She explained that she was glad for everything she had in married life with grandad and their 65 years of marriage, my mom and uncle and all the grand kids. But, she went on to explain, if she had it all to do over again she would have stayed single and found a way to support herself. Her older sister (my great aunt) had married well to a businessman but after just 20 years of marriage with no children he passed away and she never remarried. (but was left well enough that she didn't have to look to marriage as a means of support) The holiday season was hard on her being alone and all but she reasoned she could get through it and lived single until she passed away of a heart attack. Grandmother survived my grandad for 15 years and had some time to acclimate to being single so she could compare the differences. Her and her ol' wiener dog companion spent her last years together. She would watch a TV show called "Chips" where one of the two motorcycle cop's owned an RV and she always wanted me to consider RV life as she knew I had the red Van camper but thought I may later move up to a small Class A.
