You Ain't Right Club

[GotSmart]

Me !!     ?   ?

Resume please.

 

[rvpopeye]

meme says "me" !?

Well . either you do or you don't!
What makes you think you do ?
We have inquiring minds , dontcha know.....
Was that you in the picture in my 1st post ?

Do your friends/family tell you?

Have you just known for your whole life ?

When did you get the clue and what were you doing?

Do you have any pictures of something anybody else would be embarrassed if it was them????

Do you play an instrument ?

Do you eat ticks ?

Have any other special talents ?

You get the idea , if not you should read all of the thread posts.....(I assuming you already have and if that's true , you're probably in the right place.)

Actually , I kinda think what I wrote at the beginning of this post would almost qualify you to some extent already but I'll just let you tell us in your own words .

I mean , if you're truly "Ain't Right"
it would probably be bragging or pride !

T W O h s,,,P.O.

 

[Cammalu]

I, Monkeyfoot, She Who Must Be Obeyed, and, last but not least, The Nominator hereby nominated txjaybird for her role in sneaking up on extra, extra large nekkid men and scaring the crap out of them all the while managing to not spring a leak.

TWO take it away.

 

[rvpopeye]

I was just thinkin' the same thing while reading that post !

She isn't already a member ??


Confirmed !

T W O h s,,,P.O.

 

[rvpopeye]

AND..........What happened to tx2 ?

You don't have to pin the badge to the forehead , just duct tape would be OK.

For that matter it could be made with duct tape and a sharpie.....

 

[GotSmart]

Jewellanne;  Slave to Queeny

For going way beyond the norm in friendship and visitation, exceptional bladder control, and restraint when faced by nekid men.  You are awarded this second "STINKIN BADGE.  

May it serve to keep you humble and aware of the situational ambush.

Speech required please.    (Just warn us so we dont spew all over the screen)

 

[GotSmart]

Lee Brice ~~~ This reminds me of someone here ~~~



[font=Roboto, arial,]She got her daddy's tongue and temper
Sometimes her mouth could use a filter
God shook his head the day he built her
Oh, but I bet he smiled.[/font]
[font=Roboto, arial,]She loves and lives her life unruly
Tears up that dirt road up in a dualy
Dangerous, absolutely.[/font]
[font=Roboto, arial,]And in a little while,
She'll be roundin' that corner on three wheels
Ain't slowin' down, yellin' "come on, jump in"
Always up to somethin', crazy got nothin' on her[/font]
[font=Roboto, arial,]She ain't right, she ain't right
She ain't right, but she's just right for me[/font]
[font=Roboto, arial,]She says she wants to meet my momma
I said, I don't think you oughta
Be like mixin' oil and water
But by midnight she had
Momma on the coffee table dancin'
Comin' unwound
Good God I swear, can't take her anywhere
What's the girl gonna do next[/font]
[font=Roboto, arial,]She ain't right, she ain't right
She ain't right, but she's just right for me[/font]
[font=Roboto, arial,]Every once in a while she'll give me that smile and say,
I just don't see somebody like you lovin' somebody like me
She ain't right, naw she ain't right
She ain't right[/font]
[font=Roboto, arial,]She ain't right, she ain't right
She's just right, she's just right,
She's just right for me
She's just right, she's just right.
She ain't right, she's just right for me.[/font]

 

[GotSmart]

OK ~~~  Folks, we have a delema here.  The Beast Master has shown fear.  Does he lose a badge, or gain an Oak Leaf Cluster for climbing a tiny tree?  

[font=Verdana, Arial, sans-serif]Scott7022[/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, sans-serif]Camping with a buddy in Tweedsmuir National Park. We have an argument about tent placement as it is raining and miserable, and he goes to his camp and I go to mine. I pitched my tent near some scrub pine and in the shadow of larger trees. He argued the potential for water accumulation was too great and went to higher ground. We were not happy campers. Early night for all. 

Something moves my tent and I wake up. I immediately think it is my buddy screwing with me, grab my three cell Mag light. (before the days of expedition weight thinking)
I plan to blind him, as it is a moonless night and pitch black out. 
He moves around my tent. Slowly making little noises. A cup falls, twig snap, huffing sounds. I think he is doing a good job. 
10 minutes later I think I might have a problem. 
"KEEIITTH!!! Are you messing (I used a different word) with me. I swear I will stab your stupid ***." 
I hear movement away from the tent and then Keith. "WTF I am sleeping. Are you flooding like I told you?" His voice is too far away.
BEAR!! Goes through my head, and I yell it. I have a plan, calming down slightly, (pre bear spray days) I have this big knife and my flashlight.
"I am coming." I hear Keith yell. Gripping both my knife and flashlight, and attempting to open the tents zipper was impossible so I slipped the knife into the mesh fly at the top and ran it like a zipper to the bottom and flipped on my light. 
Black nose!
Big brown head with silver white eyes!!
For some stupid reason my hand was moving, bringing the flashlight off my shoulder in a arc. An arc that ended on that BIG BLACK NOSE! 
SPULOTCH!!!

I was running, in my underwear, and I no longer had my flashlight or my knife. It was dark, except for a beacon of white light that was moving in sweeping arcs to my left.
TREE!!

I slammed face first into my savior and like a twerking beaver on methamphetamine I dry humped my way up that tree. 
Keith entered my campsite and swung the light around. "What the hell are you doing?" He said, as his light reached me. 
I was about 15 feet up a young pine, it's diameter a little larger than a flag pole. Swaying and sprinkling blood from my ravaged thighs, I couldn't answer anything past bear. 
Keith looked around, found my flashlight, knife, and the tracks of a very large brown bear. He hadn't seen it leave and, when I joined him on the ground, we only found prints to the creek. 

The take away is most of the time you'll be just fine. 
Your plans are a copping mechanism. In reality as Gunny has pointed out if your training is good enough it will be like a dream of skill application, assessment, and adjustment until it is over or you are over. But in this case the Beast Master of the you ain't right club got Tyson'd. "A plan is only good until you get punched in the face" Total fear panic response with accompanied little girl screams and new shorts! 
Billy goats freak me out, Gary. Anything that has eyes that look like Satan's brother just ain't cool.[/font]

[font=Verdana, Arial, sans-serif]Beast Master in the You Ain't Right Club[/font]

My biggest question is where has he seen [font=Verdana, Arial, sans-serif]a twerking beaver on methamphetamine?[/font]

[font=Verdana, Arial, sans-serif]:huh: [/font]

 

[rvpopeye]

A bear bonked on the nose with a mag light probably isn't going to just walk away !

I say Beast Master once again got lucky.

Maybe somewhere in his previous lifeline WAS a T Rex !

I don't think going up a little pine tree would have made any difference anyway.
He was obviously still half asleep or he would have realized that!

Having the possibility of observing a tweaking , twerking beaver doesn't seem so out of line when you remember that meth heads are out in the wilderness cooking their poison these days....

Badge rank remains.


T W O h s,,,P. O.

 

[Cammalu]

Dang that's a good question. Got his fingers sucked by baby bears, pet a wild wolf, looks like he serviced a tiger too (ain't never heard of noone doing a tiger) but afraid of a goat.... I know for sure he ain't right!!!! Give him an oak leaf cluster or a little star to add to the badge!!!!

 

[rvpopeye]

Nice find on the She "Ain't Right" song.

I can see several of our members here adopting it as their theme.......

 

[Cammalu]

Oops forgot the Beastmaster's proof:

OH WAIT!!!! WTF BEASTMASTER? Oh hell no!!!

Stud service to a MALE Tiger?

I hereby nominate the Beast Master for his second badge for providing stud service to a male tiger.

TWO what do you think?

 

[TrainChaser]

"My biggest question is where has he seen a twerking beaver on methamphetamine?"

Here in Washington State.

 

[Scott7022]

I feel I need to wade in to save my dignity....Oh,  what?  no, that was wade out to save my dingy.

Anyway For the record said tiger was female and said I was a talented cunning linguist for an english speaking human. In addition stop being so pedantic. Once you cross species type genus, male or female is the very definition of pedantic.

Better than a drunken misunderstanding in the Yukon "So how does one get officially blessed as a Yukon adventurer?"
"Drink a shot from the whisky bottle containing the amputated toe (frostbite)."
"Share a bed with a Inuit Women."
"slap a White bear on the butt."
They were confused when I came back all torn up and asked for a beer and slapped the waitresses butt.

I never said I was afraid of goats I said they freak me out. Georgia, lots of wine, a few more liters of wine, full belly from a feast, long walk, crazy BMW drifters, Gravity works, comfortable ditch, BAAaA good morning I am Satan's brother in law!!! Haven't been able to reconstruct more of the event than that.

TrainChaser. A famous strip club in Vancouver called the Marble Arch......you asked...

 

[GotSmart]

As soon as it is approved, you deserve a fig leaf cluster for an innovative way to tame the tiger.  

Once again.....  I did not need to know that..... TMI!!!

Have you ever thought about running for the Weirdo Overlord position?  You just might be overqualified.6th

 

[Cammalu]

Anyway For the record said tiger was female and said I was a talented cunning linguist for an english speaking human.

Well no freaking wonder Miss Tigerlily was lying there looking like she was in the afterglow!

Gggggggrrrrrrrrrrwowwwwwww!

 

[SoulRaven]

In the mornings I often feed my dog Lacy and then drink coffee .  I was reading the post about "brains for breakfast" and thinking up some amazing hilarious replies, when Lacy came over to get her butt scratched, and let loose with the first AUDIBLE fart I think she has ever shared with me.  

I'm still laughing.  

But really, if my Dad had been eating brains for breakfast, I'd have to wonder if he knew someone at the morgue, or if any our neighbors had gone missing, or acting particularly stupid.  On the other hand, I left the Rez many moons ago. 

Pat

 

[SoulRaven]

Pat, I am that "someone" who wrote about his Dad eating brains and eggs for breakfast. He grew up on a ranch where they wasted nothing.

I know you weren't disrespecting what my Dad did. I hope not anyway.

 

[bullfrog]

Talk about "something that ain't right" I taught and lived in the 1970's on the Reservation. Watched many a kid with a nylon jacket and a jar of stolen peanut butter hitch a ride in 20 degree weather in the back of a pickup truck trying to get the 200 or so miles home. You haven't seen poverty until you have been on the Rez.

 

[SoulRaven]

Pat, I am that "someone" who wrote about his Dad eating brains and eggs for breakfast. He grew up on a ranch where they wasted nothing.

I know you weren't disrespecting what my Dad did. I hope not anyway.

Oh, not in the least little bit.  I am extremely sorry if it came out that way!!!  I was thinking of MY dad!  And then just cracking a joke, since I've been told before that I ain't EVEN right.  Long before I even started High School.  

Please accept my apologies if I offended!  I respect those who eat what they can, use it up, fix it, use it some more.  Something we've forgot in our last 2 or 3 generations.   

Regards,

Pat