You Ain't Right Club

[Cammalu]

Sternwake. Post a pic of you with the goats. I gotta see the look on both your faces. Too much


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[SternWake]

I can't get over my aversion to posting pics of myself online.

But took this pic of one of the goats.

Both did not want to look at camera at the same time, and this one's eyes are prettier.

 

[Cammalu]

Love goats. So fun to watch.

Hell if I can post crazy ones making fun of myself with a monkey on my foot and in uniform, you all should be able to post one! I like to put faces with names. You can't look funnier than I do.


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[SternWake]

Sorry, I value my anonymity and usually ask friends to untag me in Facebook and to remove any pictures of me.

If you need to know what I look like, think devilishly handsome piercing green eyed barrell chested overly tanned Viking who just got a haircut, but for the eyebrows and chin.

I will likely have a can of cheap American beer in one hand, and will not be smiling.

 

[Cammalu]

That's ok! I understand. What about the rest of you hiding out there?


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[tx2sturgis]

... think  devilishly handsome piercing green eyed barrell chested  overly tanned Viking who just got a haircut, but for the eyebrows and chin.

I need to go back and check, but I think I saw your picture at the Post Office...


Ooops....

 

[Dennis]

I need to go back and check, but I think I saw your picture at the Post Office...


Ooops....

Maybe the photo was at the Goat Herders Hall of Fame. BTW...Stern, have you wormed the goats? They will die on you in a heartbeat. Don't ask me how I know.....

 

[GotSmart]

If you need to know what I look like, think  devilishly handsome piercing green eyed barrell chested  overly tanned Viking who just got a haircut, but for the eyebrows and chin.

Gotcha!

 

[SternWake]

Close, but when I wear a hat it is only to protect me from excessive sun, and I don't smile, intentionally.

Deworming goats will be left upto their owner. I feed and water them until her return.

 

[dr_nelson]

You ain't right if you need literally just one more vinyl plank to finish the floor in your van and you go to the home improvement store and tell Customer Service that the "open" box of planks you bought was missing one plank.

(I didn't do that, but it crossed my mind)

 

[GotSmart]

OK.  Here is a contender.  Nominator and Overload, can I have a vote on this?  Brought over from the Russia thread.

YARK name ~~~ Drinks With Wolves.

Scott7022So I haven’t really posted anything scary. 

We are staying just outside of the city of Urtusk. We were invited to a locals house by one of the executives behind the project. We arrive and are invited in for a Banya (traditional Sauna), much hotter than the Scandinavian version most are familiar with. It is a huge house and the house surrounds a large courtyard. There is plenty of food and drink and we are treated like kings. We are still sleeping in the vehicles but being out of the wind will make tonights sleep truly comfortable. 

The traditional Banya is heated by a wood oven on a common wall. Twin three inch pipes run inside the wall and water is pumped in a circle from an open container through these pipes into a shower room. It is a communal style shower. The pipes continue under the ground to the outhouse. At the outhouse they emerge and circle the structure completing the hot water loop. 

The pipe’s water is hot, not scalding but, hot enough you have to move out of the showers spray on occasion. It also stops the snow from accumulating on the paved path to the outhouse and kept the outhouse remarkably warm. 

We all shower, enjoy the Banya, offered vodka, and change into our best expedition going out gear. The table is set and traditional toasts are made. We all enjoy a great banquet under the covered part of the courtyard. The dishes from the wall oven seem endless and after “just add water” food, our tummies are happily uncomfortable. 

The libations continue and I hear the call of nature and excuse myself to go to the washroom. I walk out to the outhouse and with the Banya lights now out the path is under the two sodium vapor lights and stars but to the left and right is total blackness. The white snow simply stops as if it intersects a magicians black curtain. 

I enter the outhouse and marvel at how large it is. One gold Edison style bulb illuminates the stone walls and flecks of silver white snow that float in the top openings and drift to the floor. 

Returning to the party I encounter the owners massive Siberian Husky. I have seen Huskys at home but, nothing like this one. His top shoulder is close to my hip and his head is massive. His ice blue eyes lock on mine, and a low growl escapes from his chest. All dogs love me so I go to one knee and in English beckon him over. He tilts his head left and right at the strange language, stops growling and takes one tentative step. My Russian was pretty bad back then but I managed in Russian; ”Dog here, come sit good.” The massive animal moved slowly but eventually got close enough I could pet him. He pushed his nose into my shoulder and I rubbed the snow off his thick winter mane. He jumped back and looked around and then with one more glance at me ran off into the blackness. 

I returned to the party and concerned that our host may not know his dog is out, asked him. It took a little translating as our host was a little drunk, and as his dog had been killed last winter, confused. I told him about the dog and as this was being translated I showed him the paw prints just off the path to the outhouse. Those big prints in the snow in front of where I had knelt down. I still had black and grey fur on my red shirt and the wet nose print near my collar bone. He blinked in disbelief and gesturing size at my hip said, “Head” in English. I corrected the measurement to the dogs head at my tummy. 

“Not dog my friend. Wolf!”

He then brought me back into the gathering area and told the story to those on my team and those that had come from the city. They listened eyes wide alternating between the storyteller and me. Then a toast was raised. After, I asked what the toast was. “To lucky guests and full wolves!”

 

[Cammalu]

I think petting a DIREWOLF in the freezing cold outside in the dark ain't right! Could have been Scott fricassee that night! Chomp chomp. Funny story.

Surely it was a direwolf and I'm just glad it wasn't a dragon.

 

[rvpopeye]

Scott
I just read your Russian thread and immediately recognized you as belonging here. Now I come back and you have already been recognized and nominated !

The ones about the wolf and junk yard dogs actually qualifies you as "Beast Master" which is your official thread name on the "You Ain't Right" thread (Russian Expeditionary Force).

I am confirming you as naturally "Ain't Right" as well as your Aussie friend who shall be known as "Scout" for being so prepared x100 !
Both of you are very welcome on the "You Ain't Right" club thread as our home is now your home .
If there is any doubt ? That valentine should cover it !

Badgemaster , make it official !

The Weirdo Overlord has spoken....peace , out..........

 

[GotSmart]

Scott7022.  By the world class reputation you have built up by doing the complete opposit of what a "normal" human would, I hereby award you this STINKING BADGE.  The official title of "BEAST MASTER" puts you in the company of greats such as Crocadile Dundee, She Who Must Be Obeyed, and Dr Doolittle. 

 

[SoulRaven]

Scott could be the Foreign Ambassador of the You Ain't Right Club. The wolf story was a classic.

 

[Scott7022]

I am humbled and honored to be recipient of this coveted award, and to be included is such a wonderful rouges gallery so early in my membership here. Usually I make it across the dance floor before tripping on an invisible crack and in a required attempt to save my drink crash into a table and set the drapes on fire, before sliding under the ambassadors wife's chair.

I humbly accept this honor.

And thank you all!

 

[Cammalu]

In the local grocery....

 

[rvpopeye]

Cammalu
If you're gonna buy and eat those,,,,,I'm thinkin' another "Stinkin' Badge" is in your future !

 

[SoulRaven]

I mentioned to Cammalu that my Father grew up on a ranch and often would have brains and eggs (of which I did not partake) for breakfast. It was the only time the rest of the family did not join Dad for breakfast. His words were "you don't know what you're missing". I still don't.

 

[rvpopeye]

Scott
Feel free to post the more weird of your tales from the road less traveled.
We love (as Grace Jones says) the stran-ge'