Choosing to be Single and on the Road
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jimindenver
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I was going to say I didn't know she had it in her but thought better of it. 
anewbiewannabe
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Well if she's smiling for an unknown reason..........
DannyB1954
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I get married about every 10 years. I stay married for a year, then it takes me 9 years to forget.
I am probably about due, and that troubles me.
I am probably about due, and that troubles me.
steamjam1
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Relationships always catch me unawares. When I first started van dwelling it, I thought: "This is it big guy. IT'S OVER. Aint no woman gonna want ya now that you live in a van." And I was completely good with it. It was to me, just the price I had to pay to get what I wanted.
A year into it, boy did that change.
The point is you never know. Destiny is never written in stone as long as you don't completely isolate yourself living in a van/RV/whatever. Life is too short and the world is too big too run away from it.
A year into it, boy did that change.
The point is you never know. Destiny is never written in stone as long as you don't completely isolate yourself living in a van/RV/whatever. Life is too short and the world is too big too run away from it.
ArtW
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I've never found much of anything battery operated to be worth the cost of the batteries, but then being a guy, things that buzz don't do that much for me
as far as 'handheld substitute girly bits' those are overrated, too imo,
as far as 'handheld substitute girly bits' those are overrated, too imo,
**************************************
OMG, isn't it about time for some overly parental admonishment about sensitive feelings?!? Lord knows, it isn't possible for any of us to get through a day in the real world, much less years and years, without the guidance of an auto-border-bot. Well?? Well?? (looking left and right) OK, guess not. Whew! Just had to get that out. Moving on now ...
**************************************
I clicked this thread just to see what it was about. That was my downfall. ;-) Hours and 150+ posts later, some things jumped out at to me.
Men, of which I'm one, except not in this case, seem to have this innate need when asked about sexual desire to give a knee-jerk response. Regardless of age, they say "A man's gotta have what a man's gotta have!" and "No, no trouble here, gear all working just like new, yep!"
Let's add a little realism for our assumably young friend who's asking about desire over time. In short, it reduces. Yes, for everyone. Yes, for everything. But sticking with gender interaction, there is a old saying about this and marriage. The newly married are told to be realistic. How? Practical visual aid. Get a big jar. Put a jelly bean in the jar each time you make love the first year. At the beginning of the second year, reverse it and start taking one jelly bean out of the jar each time you have sex. What happens? You'll never get all the jelly beans back out of the jar. The old farts say it's really true. But then again, they say lots of stuff.
There seems to be a lot people here with more or less healthy and realistic attitudes, about the opposite sex and about themselves, earned the hard way. Rather than being sad, it constitutes a much saner foundation for any interactions that do take place. On the other hand, and I say this with some compassion, there are others whose ideas and expectations could really benefit from watching more National Geographic. Giraffes, wolves, and bullfrogs don't sit around pining away about "soulmates", straining to like his or her friends, or agreeing to watch Nights in Rodanthe instead of football. And there's a good reason for that.
Although Bob said something similar, but more delicately, we are what we see on Nat Geo, with a forced societal overlay of monogamy. Any other idea came from religion (thanks again, religion!) or from Hallmark to sell cards. If that one "monogamy" expectation and behavior could be removed from us magically, what would happen? No, not the wild orgies some might imagine or naively hope for. Instead, I suspect that the majority of serious gender interaction problems would disappear overnight. Well, except for the one Gary mentioned related to unwanted biological gifts.
Why? We'd stop trying to force our partners to wear the right thing, or to say the right thing, or to get the right job, or to say "I love you" reflexively. We'd mostly stop screaming and shooting each other for sleeping with someone else. We'd all stop trying to change our partners, mainly because we wouldn't even have "partners", but also because we wouldn't have to live with their behavior and moods 24/7 x 50 years.
The genetic desire to go find and do something new that we acknowledge and often encourage in every other facet of our lives, because it is natural, would apply to gender interaction as well. Or not. Overall, whatever interaction we had would be consensual, and would last as long as it needed to last, and then it would go back to a much more natural, and peaceful, state of affairs. Some peaks and valleys of interaction, but mostly plateaus. Interaction as nature intended, rather than this artificially created fodder for marriage counselors and stress-induced early heart disease.
Oh, and my last observation, people on this forum actually do have a sense of humor. Glad to see it.
Stepping off soapbox now ...
Vagabound
OMG, isn't it about time for some overly parental admonishment about sensitive feelings?!? Lord knows, it isn't possible for any of us to get through a day in the real world, much less years and years, without the guidance of an auto-border-bot. Well?? Well?? (looking left and right) OK, guess not. Whew! Just had to get that out. Moving on now ...
**************************************
I clicked this thread just to see what it was about. That was my downfall. ;-) Hours and 150+ posts later, some things jumped out at to me.
Men, of which I'm one, except not in this case, seem to have this innate need when asked about sexual desire to give a knee-jerk response. Regardless of age, they say "A man's gotta have what a man's gotta have!" and "No, no trouble here, gear all working just like new, yep!"
Let's add a little realism for our assumably young friend who's asking about desire over time. In short, it reduces. Yes, for everyone. Yes, for everything. But sticking with gender interaction, there is a old saying about this and marriage. The newly married are told to be realistic. How? Practical visual aid. Get a big jar. Put a jelly bean in the jar each time you make love the first year. At the beginning of the second year, reverse it and start taking one jelly bean out of the jar each time you have sex. What happens? You'll never get all the jelly beans back out of the jar. The old farts say it's really true. But then again, they say lots of stuff.
There seems to be a lot people here with more or less healthy and realistic attitudes, about the opposite sex and about themselves, earned the hard way. Rather than being sad, it constitutes a much saner foundation for any interactions that do take place. On the other hand, and I say this with some compassion, there are others whose ideas and expectations could really benefit from watching more National Geographic. Giraffes, wolves, and bullfrogs don't sit around pining away about "soulmates", straining to like his or her friends, or agreeing to watch Nights in Rodanthe instead of football. And there's a good reason for that.
Although Bob said something similar, but more delicately, we are what we see on Nat Geo, with a forced societal overlay of monogamy. Any other idea came from religion (thanks again, religion!) or from Hallmark to sell cards. If that one "monogamy" expectation and behavior could be removed from us magically, what would happen? No, not the wild orgies some might imagine or naively hope for. Instead, I suspect that the majority of serious gender interaction problems would disappear overnight. Well, except for the one Gary mentioned related to unwanted biological gifts.
Why? We'd stop trying to force our partners to wear the right thing, or to say the right thing, or to get the right job, or to say "I love you" reflexively. We'd mostly stop screaming and shooting each other for sleeping with someone else. We'd all stop trying to change our partners, mainly because we wouldn't even have "partners", but also because we wouldn't have to live with their behavior and moods 24/7 x 50 years.
The genetic desire to go find and do something new that we acknowledge and often encourage in every other facet of our lives, because it is natural, would apply to gender interaction as well. Or not. Overall, whatever interaction we had would be consensual, and would last as long as it needed to last, and then it would go back to a much more natural, and peaceful, state of affairs. Some peaks and valleys of interaction, but mostly plateaus. Interaction as nature intended, rather than this artificially created fodder for marriage counselors and stress-induced early heart disease.
Oh, and my last observation, people on this forum actually do have a sense of humor. Glad to see it.
Stepping off soapbox now ...
Vagabound
ArtW
Well-known member
Much truth there, in fact monogamy wasn't our default for relationships untill Constantine, having viewed the fall of Rome and decided one reason for said fall, was polygamy, instituted the current practice of monogamous Christianity as the state religion in Constantinople in an attempt to create a more stable society
And the concept of 'romantic love' aka 'courtly love' was not popularized in human culture until the middle ages, and was actually a perversion of the idea of 'chivalry' until then a military concept featuring self sacrifice for lord, country, and unit, into a way to practice interpersonal relationships, with the notion of self sacrifice to one's lover
And the concept of 'romantic love' aka 'courtly love' was not popularized in human culture until the middle ages, and was actually a perversion of the idea of 'chivalry' until then a military concept featuring self sacrifice for lord, country, and unit, into a way to practice interpersonal relationships, with the notion of self sacrifice to one's lover
ArtW
Well-known member
Let's add a little realism for our assumably young friend who's asking about desire over time. In short, it reduces. Yes, for everyone. Yes, for everything. But sticking with gender interaction, there is a old saying about this and marriage. The newly married are told to be realistic. How? Practical visual aid. Get a big jar. Put a jelly bean in the jar each time you make love the first year. At the beginning of the second year, reverse it and start taking one jelly bean out of the jar each time you have sex. What happens? You'll never get all the jelly beans back out of the jar. The old farts say it's really true. But then again, they say lots of stuff.
This, however is flawed reasoning, as it relies on sexual interaction between a couple in the context of marriage
As a man whose marriage was interrupted for a year or so nine years in, I can say with some authority we definitely emptied the jar during our reunion year
the reason sex drops off in marriage is, plain and simple, taking it for granted
that first 1-3 months or so you go at it like rabbits, as you are now 'free' to have as much as you want with no shaming, then as the novelty wears off, so does the thrill and you start taking it for granted
take a break, then reunite, and the flames are high once again
I think 3 months is pretty much as long as any couple can remain wildly exited by one another, once they live together
Now at 50, I'm not up to 3x a night any more, that's true, but I can still mange 2, and maybe 3, on a day I don't have to work, if I have a willing partner, but realistically, not every day
the thing there is I need more 'recharge time', but the desire is still there
desire and ability, for a man, don't always add up to the same thing
This, however is flawed reasoning, as it relies on sexual interaction between a couple in the context of marriage
As a man whose marriage was interrupted for a year or so nine years in, I can say with some authority we definitely emptied the jar during our reunion year
the reason sex drops off in marriage is, plain and simple, taking it for granted
that first 1-3 months or so you go at it like rabbits, as you are now 'free' to have as much as you want with no shaming, then as the novelty wears off, so does the thrill and you start taking it for granted
take a break, then reunite, and the flames are high once again
I think 3 months is pretty much as long as any couple can remain wildly exited by one another, once they live together
Now at 50, I'm not up to 3x a night any more, that's true, but I can still mange 2, and maybe 3, on a day I don't have to work, if I have a willing partner, but realistically, not every day
the thing there is I need more 'recharge time', but the desire is still there
desire and ability, for a man, don't always add up to the same thing
ArtW said:
In addition to forgetting to quote somebody, you also forgot to add the standard notice at the top of your comment: "The following is a paid advertisement" ;-)
Now that's starting to sound more like "truth in advertising".
If one understands how batteries behave over time, then one already understands men and sex, except batteries don't brag.
Vagabound
MindyLee
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So I just sat here and read his entire thread. It's been eye-opening and entertaining, to say the least. I really enjoyed everyone's honesty and humor. It also got me thinking (for the first time, honestly) about whether I'll want to remain single on the road.
I'm married at the moment, 28 years and wanting out. I'm fairly sure my husband does too, though he'll never admit it unless things here become unbearable or he meets another woman who sweeps him off his feet. It's a long story, it's complicated. But my plan is to be single by the time I'm
full-timing.
I will likely stay that way. I'm social, I love having friends and I get along very well with men and have a couple of close guy friends. But I also love solitude, and I really don't see myself ever wanting another committed partnership. I want to live free for a change, go where I want, do what I want, and so on.
Of course that's how I feel today. Who knows what the future holds?
I'm married at the moment, 28 years and wanting out. I'm fairly sure my husband does too, though he'll never admit it unless things here become unbearable or he meets another woman who sweeps him off his feet. It's a long story, it's complicated. But my plan is to be single by the time I'm
full-timing.
I will likely stay that way. I'm social, I love having friends and I get along very well with men and have a couple of close guy friends. But I also love solitude, and I really don't see myself ever wanting another committed partnership. I want to live free for a change, go where I want, do what I want, and so on.
Of course that's how I feel today. Who knows what the future holds?
jimindenver
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Mindy
I know exactly how you feel. On one hand I want to spend some time alone just to be able to do what's needed, when it's needed and how I want to do it without regard for anyone else.
On the other hand I so look forward to being part of society again. Sex? Maybe but I'm not worried. I come self equipped to HANDle long periods of drought.
As for a real relationship, hmmmm Even having spent as much time together as we did I can tell you that the trailer gets mighty small really quick with two in it. The good days are fine but have someone get cranky on a rainy day and there is no where to go.
I know exactly how you feel. On one hand I want to spend some time alone just to be able to do what's needed, when it's needed and how I want to do it without regard for anyone else.
On the other hand I so look forward to being part of society again. Sex? Maybe but I'm not worried. I come self equipped to HANDle long periods of drought.
As for a real relationship, hmmmm Even having spent as much time together as we did I can tell you that the trailer gets mighty small really quick with two in it. The good days are fine but have someone get cranky on a rainy day and there is no where to go.
SternWake
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Vandwelling for me, allows simplicity.
Forming and maintaining romantic Relationships in this day and age, appear to be opposite that goal, and I can no longer be bothered to make any effort though desire is still strong.
Yes it does get lonely, but some Hank Williams and mrs palmer and her 5 daughters applied when needed, can take the edge off.
One can still feel the soul screaming for love. So be it. eventually it gives up screaming for a while.
My Friend's 5year old daughter asked me the other day if I am going to Kiss the Ocean today.
Very insightful and wise recommendation, though she did not mean it in that way.
Kiss the ocean, I think I will go do that right now, because conditions are good, and van dwelling allows me the time to do so.
Friend's daughter also once told me that I am my own brother. Kind of blew my mind.
Forming and maintaining romantic Relationships in this day and age, appear to be opposite that goal, and I can no longer be bothered to make any effort though desire is still strong.
Yes it does get lonely, but some Hank Williams and mrs palmer and her 5 daughters applied when needed, can take the edge off.
One can still feel the soul screaming for love. So be it. eventually it gives up screaming for a while.
My Friend's 5year old daughter asked me the other day if I am going to Kiss the Ocean today.
Very insightful and wise recommendation, though she did not mean it in that way.
Kiss the ocean, I think I will go do that right now, because conditions are good, and van dwelling allows me the time to do so.
Friend's daughter also once told me that I am my own brother. Kind of blew my mind.
rvpopeye
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I just let life bring what it brings.
Sometimes there is someone that I cross paths with and we are together for a short (or long ) time and other times it's just me......it's been like that touring in the music business and now workamping or just hanging out somewhere for a season or two.
Don't worry , be happy......(cue the reggae music here)
Sometimes there is someone that I cross paths with and we are together for a short (or long ) time and other times it's just me......it's been like that touring in the music business and now workamping or just hanging out somewhere for a season or two.
Don't worry , be happy......(cue the reggae music here)
franqmichele
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I'm a single woman on the road, and I'm living this life for so many reasons, and my relationship status just didn't matter. I was worried about safety, but have made it a point to do all that I can to be safe on this trip.
Now back to the subject at hand, I don't intend to be single forever, but I don't see how living in a camper van is going to help boost my eligibility, ha and you know what, I simply don't care about that either. What is meant to be will be, I have to live authentically to attract what I want anyway. Happy travels ya'll!
franqgoesontheroad.com
Now back to the subject at hand, I don't intend to be single forever, but I don't see how living in a camper van is going to help boost my eligibility, ha and you know what, I simply don't care about that either. What is meant to be will be, I have to live authentically to attract what I want anyway. Happy travels ya'll!
franqgoesontheroad.com
ArtW
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Vagabound said:
I copy / pasted so as not to have to cut a lot of text, it was more time friendly
As for your 'paid advertisement' comment, there is no advertising there, simply the truth
Are you under the impression no one near 50 can actually perform, and if so, where does this assumption come form?
too many Viagra ads?
As to the truth in advertising part, it sounds as though you assume because I mentioned men with ED having desire, even if they lack the ability,that describes all men near 50
Simply not true, or even close to true
You have no actual data regarding anyone's abilities that you are not intimately involved with, so your statements are unsupported assertations
ArtW
Well-known member
franqmichele said:
The most important of all lessons, that most of us never learn
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