Blown off, and stewing

[SternWake]

I am simmering.

Without going into specifics, I don't want to relate details, An elder  cousin came into town with his young son, for an event with something in which I am fairly experienced. 35 years worth of experience ability and interest in a subject, and was asked to lend some assistance.

I was hardly put very far out to lend my experience, was glad and honored to  be asked to do so.

  When there,  it was more than kind of obvious my experience was not really wanted, needed, nor appreciated, though I did lend some assistance regarding certain parts of their journey and going/ getting to some locations.  I was certainly no Hindrance.  I am never a hindrance. I make sure of that.  Would probably be on my tombstone, if I ever rest under one....'was never a hindrance......'


So after one portiion of their journey,  I return to my area, about 45 minutes away, take care of my obligations to friends, line up some future financial matters, and attempt keep in touch via text regarding conditions that affect the reasons cousins were in town  for their second portion of their reason for being here

No response.  I happen to be house sitting, was told by the homeowners to offer them the 'Guest suite' on a very nice property, and offer it to them.

No response. Relate more relevant info, ask a few questions.
No response.  

No response for 6 days now, though  5 days since I tried.  They are in the general area for another week.
  I am stewing, thinking that I am being blown off for being the guy who lives in/from a Van and skoffs at the material world.  I am 8 beers deep and ready to call the elder,  and throw out the 'FU's' and 'see you at your dad's or my dad's funeral you sons of bitches, and you better hope I don't lay you both flat you skinny, weak, superficial, venal  arrogant bastards.

But maybe their phones got stolen from their rental car.

Possibly irrational anger is great, isn't it?

 

[OutdoorFT]

I would just go to bed before saying anything you may or may not regret saying.

I think everyone has been there at one time or another

 

[SternWake]

I weigh 220 Lbs, 8 beers over the last 6 hours, is a mild buzz.

Its too late at night to call and curse them out anyway, but not sure why I should even attempt to be considerate anymore though. It seems being considerate just gets one walked upon in this day and age, especially if you don't roll around in money or can sustain name dropping of those with money and/or status.

 

[Cammalu]

Sternwake holy crap. I feel your anger. I tried to pm you but your pm is disabled. Hang in there buddy. Don't do anything you may regret later!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[John61CT]

You do the right thing, no expectations, 's'all you can do, let it ride old son, no good deed goes unpunished. . .

 

[SternWake]

Thanks. Sorry I've got the PMs turned off, I was getting too many personal requests regarding the 12v stuff, and already spend too much time and effort typing on those same matters time and again, and don't like to ignore requests. Seems easier turn off the PMs rather than to insult by not responding.

Hope the system says that I have them turned off before members type somethng then click 'send' only to find out I don't accept them. If so I apologize.

The cousins will not be getting any wrath from me, tonight anyway.

I do wonder if I have an unrealistic expectation of responses to texts. My complete avoidance of social media sites like twitter instagram and facebook perhaps have me living in a decade or 2 in the past past where phone calls voicemail and e mails were returned in a timely manner.

But perhaps some people just suck more than ever too.

 

[Richard]

I am simmering.
...
 attempt keep in touch via text ...
No response.

I happen to be house sitting, was told by the homeowners to offer them the 'Guest suite' on a very nice property, and offer it to them.
No response.

Relate more relevant info, ask a few questions.
No response.  

No response for 6 days now ... I am stewing
...

I can relate. I'd much rather be told something I don't like to hear than to be ignored.

To respond to someone's outreach is a courtesy, and a simple one at that. To be denied that courtesy feels disrespectful and invalidating. That makes for some real juicy stew right there.

For lack of anything else that comes to mind, I think you're on the right track to entertain the possibility that their phones have been stolen, or broken, or perhaps even that some harm may have befallen them. Focusing on that may help bring that stew down below a simmer until you know for sure what's behind the silence.

Not saying it's easy, just that it may be helpful to get through the simmering phase. Best wishes to you, SternWake.

 

[John61CT]

people ask me Qs by PM I just say straight up put it out in public so others can participate, I only use PM for Private issues

 

[user 37446]

Family, dont ya' just love them?  :huh:  hat old saying "you can choose your friends but you are stuck with your family" seems to apply.

As far as typing your informative responses, which all of newbies have benefited from, perhaps a set of "canned" quotes, labeled 12v battery life #1, #2, #3 that you could just dredge up and attach to relevant queries, after all, they never change much...

Or maybe mods can make several of your longer ones a sticky.  Either way, they are helpful, thank you.  

 

[Putts]

Yup. Maybe they don't appreciate you, but I know I do, and surely many others here. Thanks for all the time you've spent edumicating folks around here.

 

[IanC]

I am simmering.

Amazing how little some people think of the effort of others.

My story: I was up in northern Alabama. Someone, who was a friend from my teen years (still keep in touch via phone email FB) was closing on his house in Florida - planning to go mobile. He said "come on down help me celebrate".  Although my path was North I though what the heck and went South. Then, camped in a National Forest in 95 humid degrees, surrounded by swarms of insects and forest fires ten miles away, my calls and emails went unanswered.  I packed up and headed out after 3 days of waiting, but my feelings were similar to yours.

Then, thinking back, I remember he was exactly the same when we were 19, thoughtless and inconsiderate and the only reason I had kept in touch was nostalgia. Part of my 'letting go' and seeing what I can do without attitude is people like that. It's become very easy to say "see ya!"

 

[Queen]

That sucks all around, people who think it's okay to treat others like a tool they need for a moment, then drop you and walk away when they're done using you. Miserable pathetic wastes of time.

 

[Queen]

SternWake, just an FYI, it does not tell people your PM's are turned off until you type it up and hit "send". I attempted to send you one about surfing several months ago.

 

[Matlock]

SW, I do appreciate the "used and kicked aside" emotion.
But, I'm a total sucker for trying one more time, just to make sure it is me with the lemon in his mouth. If you have more than one contact number I'd try a group text. If no reply then F-um . Just my ol 2¢.

And..... I'd bet this place has more respect for you and your time than you might imagine. I know I do.

Cheers!

 

[tx2sturgis]

I've had a few situations similar to this over the years.

Our expectations, which are normal and valid, cause frustration when they are not met. We've all been there.

Sometimes your best response is to find something else to do that you enjoy, during the time they are nearby and ignoring you.

That way if they dont reach out, no big deal, you are busy anyway. You could text one or two 'happy' pictures of the activity to someone at the gathering, so you know they are aware you aren't just sitting around, on 'hold'.

If they DO reach out, you can reply that you are sorry but since you didnt hear from them, you made other plans. (or you could say something like, I'll try to make it)

I do my best to take the 'high road' in these situations, not burn any bridges, and that way, later on, not have any regrets.

For what its worth, you certainly have friends here who value your knowledge (and patience) regarding the topics at hand.

As far as PMs disabled, maybe you could put that in your signature line?

Good luck there buddy.

 

[bullfrog]

Sort of makes me feel good about being a hermit. I like a lot of people who don't like me but why would I let that bother me if I like being the way I am?

 

[Ballenxj]

The situation sucks, but not saying anything you will regret later is the best policy. There are a myriad of reasons they might not have replied, one of them being I don't trust modern technology as much after calling friends whom said the phone never rang. I believe that because it has happened to me too. I've had emails that never arrived, or arrived hours, sometimes days later.
Anyway, what's meant to be, will be. I like the reply tx2stugis wrote, take the high road.
Just for the record, we appreciate you.

 

[OutdoorFT]

FWIW...I have a pretty good sized family. all living except 1 uncle on mothers side and both grandparents on dads side. I talk to grandparents, mom and 1 uncle. I no longer have relationships with my father or sister. for same reasons youre upset. Its much easier FOR ME to do my own thing than be there only when they need it.

 

[XFILE36]

Hence...the tribe...

 

[rvpopeye]

That's ^ what to keep in mind SW. Your new family here will never treat you like that!
(Now , being a live in your van surfer dude,,,,, are you sure you don't belong in the "You Ain't Right" club???? We're saving you a "Stinkin' Badge" .........)