We broke up

[Cheli]

Well doesn't this suck.  My boyfriend and I, who have been together for just over three years, broke up last night.  For good this time.  I say for for good this time because for the last couple of months it's been a struggle once he realized I was serious about wanting to become a van dweller.  

It's something I've always talked about since we met so it's not like it was a complete shock to him, but I don't think he realized it was something I was actually going to do.  I always talked about it as a dream, you know someday I'd like to leave and travel the country.  But over the last six months or so I've been talking about it more and more and over the last couple of months I've been taking actions to make it happen.

Well things have been very hard the last month or so as he has been watching me sell things here and there and talking about it more seriously.  It was hard on him, I understand that.  And it was hard on me because although I love him, we are very opposite and I knew the day was going to come where we go our separate ways.  He has ZERO interest in leaving his hometown and family to travel.

So I have mixed emotions.  I'm sad and broken hearted but at the same time I almost feel relieved that it's finally over and I can move on with my dream that wasn't his as well.  I don't mean to sound harsh but I've been struggling with this for a little bit now.  This has been a constant source of grief for a month now between us, fighting, crying, lets make this work, we can't make it work, I love him, I want to stay, but I need to change my lifestyle and go, I don't want to hurt him, I don't want to hurt myself.  Ugggggh no matter what I do someone gets hurt.

So anyway, time to go full force with this plan now that I'm not holding myself back anymore.

 

[rvpopeye]

Years ago I was in much the same situation.
In the music biz I was always on the go but did come back to home base for a few days a month. We met during one of those times and eventually her place became home base. And she came on a few gigs too.

When I decided to quit music based travel and replace it with workamping and snowbirding she wasn't too happy about me leaving for the whole winter but was there
waiting when I got back in the spring. When the second winter came up and I was headed out to Nashville she decided she wanted to try my new life out.
So off to Nashville and eventually Texas and New Mexico. When we got back to Maine and set up at my summer workamping spot she liked it a lot .......When time to head out came she informed me she "didn't want to be away from her grandkids , didn't like traveling and wasn't going to be coming" .... I realized it was time and we broke it off then.
So back to Nashville and Death Valley alone I went.
The next summer she was still at the same campground ,,in her own trailer that she got from the owners. So I did help her find a new life she enjoyed , just without the travel part !

OK , here's the part that applies for you. I have found like minded girls everywhere I go. Ones with the same travel bug I have. The "right" one hasn't popped up yet but I'm sure she's out there somewhere........
Don't get downed out , it was headed to this point all along .
Life goes on and you won't be alone out there.

I was really happy to find the tribe and you've found it too. Maybe someone here.................?

 

[jimindenver]

I'm sorry Cheli, good luck moving forward.

 

[Cheli]

Thanks guys.

It's hard but I know it's the right thing, I've known it for a while but had a hard time admitting it because I didn't want to hurt him. I tend to do that, worry about everyone else at the expense of my own happiness.

Well never again, time to take control of MY life and do what makes ME happy.

 

[rvpopeye]

!!!!!!!!!!! yup.

 

[BradKW]

I see people talk themselves out of their dreams because of codependency so often it almost seems like the norm. I think it's completely awesome that you didn't do that.

 

[steamjam1]

 

[Cheli]

I see people talk themselves out of their dreams because of codependency so often it almost seems like the norm. I think it's completely awesome that you didn't do that.

Thank you.  It seems I was getting caught in the codependency trap but pulled myself out of it.  I kept thinking, I don't want to be ten years down the road wondering what if I don't follow this dream and how will my life be.  I didn't like the vision so had to break free.  I don't want any regrets and I'm so sick of following societies norm.  I want to live free so dammit, I'm going to.  hahaha

 

[roadtripous]

You did the right thing for yourself. I know, when a dream like this is hits us. The regret of not doing it. Would be with us for the rest of are lives.

 

[steamjam1]

As a mentor of mine once told me: "Sometimes, you just gotta set course for the second star to the right, say F--- IT with anything you maybe afraid of, and PUNCH IT!"

 

[Cheli]

hahaha LOVE it!

 

[moorejames]

That always sucks, but good on you for putting yourself first. 

I ended a 23 year marriage a few years ago and while it was hard, it was definitely the right thing to do for all involved.

 

[highdesertranger]

sorry you two couldn't work it out. my gut feeling tells me you knew this would be the outcome for awhile. like Brad said good for you for sticking to your dream. it might be hard at the moment but you will meet someone else in time. good luck see you on the road. highdesertranger

 

[cyndi]

It hurts, right now. But, I am betting your decision will be validated a bazillion times, in all kinds of ways, as you move forward.

 

[Jim Plow]

After this upcoming RTR you will forget all about ...What's His name?

Rubber Tramp Rendezvous

January 10-22, 2017 in Quartzsite, AZ!

http://www.cheaprvliving.com/gatherings/

.

 

[Cheli]

Yes my plan has been to have everything sold and van purchased so I can quit my job and hit the road by the first of the year so I can attend the RTR, now I need to do everything I can to make that happen.

 

[Every Road Leads Home]

Hi Cheli,
Well this is one of those situations where I want to both congratulate and give my condolences! Break ups are hard no matter what the situation, at least that's how they've always been for me. But at the end of the day if you don't put yourself first and take care of you, you really can't be there for anyone else anyways. So I think you did the right thing, it was probably the most important thing that you had to do to make your dreams a reality. I think doing it sooner than later was a wise choice. I broke off a long term relationship before I hit the road in 2010 and did it a few days before I was due to take off and hitting the road with a fresh breakup wasn't the smartest thing i've ever done. Much easier hitting the road with a clear conscience, clear mind, and an unbroken heart.

Next few weeks will be rough no doubt but keep your mind focused on the end game.

Good luck!

Matt

 

[Yogidog]

Hey I had wondered where u were been meaning to tell u , u got what it takes, I could see u were going to make it happenn it is worth every sacrifice, u are going to love it. As I tell my daughter's be extra nice to yourself, see u at rtr. Thanks for the thread on books too!

 

[bigsallysmom]

With you on the road it will also prevent that rebound back and hanging out which just causes confusion and more hurt feelings.

 

[VanGuy6678]

I'm sorry, Cheli - must be incredibly difficult. But I have a sense you'll be stronger and more courageous. That was my experience, anyway. Hope to meet you on the road someday