My Daddy Always Said

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And my favorite, with my four sons:

"Don't bleed on the carpet!!!"
 
If it smells like sh#t it probable is."

"Beware creeping fascism"

"If the sh*t is going down and you stay silent you are at least 50% responsible"

There is a reason the phrase "high crimes and misdemeanors " is in the constitution.


He was a wise man.
 
"You can't just walk up to a woman and say, 'Do you wanna ****?' You have to start out with some small talk... you say, 'Do you like apples? You ever been to Chicago?' ...and then you say do you wanna ****!"

It's not a bad piece of advice when told as an anecdote. Then, followed up with... "So, do you like apples?"
 
These aren't sassy, but they really are two things Pops said that've stuck:

1. Most people are basically decent.

2. If you think you can't, you're probably right.
 
My Dad always said "No matter where you go there you are" Didn't get it when I was younger but I do now. Can't run from your problems, they'll follow you everywhere you go. But doesn't mean you can't have them with better scenery though!

He also taught me how to be self employed. He was adamantly against working for the man so to speak. And for that i'm the most grateful. I've had my own company(s) since my early 20's.
 
"Don't let your mouth write a check your ass can't cash!" OR, like someone else mentioned here: "Don't let your alligator mouth overload your hummingbird ass!"

Since Dad was a very quiet man, I was surprised because he hardly said a word and when he did, you had better listen.


VanGrrl57 :)
 
Dad's words of wisdom?

Be careful of the toes you step on today,  as they may be connected to the azzes you may have to kiss tomorrow.

After all else has failed,  read the directions.

Ignorance ain't near so bad as those who know things that just ain't so.

If you want to get a job done fast,  give it to a lazy man.  You can always depend on his specialized skills for that.
 
People in Hell want icewater.

If you hire the sorriest S.O.B. in town to do a job and he does it.....You Pay Him Every Penny You Owe Him........If you hire someone in spite of their character, and they did what was exspected, they have earned their pay.      I'm not the sorriest S.O.B. [plumbed wrong] however my pay check Always needed to be right on the money.

 If Mama ain't Happy ain't nobody Happy

Jewellann
 
Dad, like me, always hated crowds. He'd say, "People in large numbers are dumb as Hell."
I have found that to be very true. :)

He also did not get along with Mom's family. I liked them. He once told me, "You are just like your mother's people!" I told him, "I take that as a compliment!"
That PO'd him.
 
The higher the monkey climbs, the more he shows his ass......

Don't eat yellow snow.....
 
"I fought two wars for their rights, including the right to burn the flag, I don't have to agree with them, but I will defend their right to do it to my dying day".
 
Daddy always said:  "Go ask your mama"

and mama always said:

“You have to do the best with what God gave you.” – Mrs. Gump
 
I was raised by my mama and she said never trust a man, never. She had 8 children by 5 different men... :huh:
 
When I had a bad stuttering problem:
You're too exited, slow down and let your mind catch up to your mouth
When I was working on a car and getting frustrated:
You've got your face too far in there, back up and LOOK at the problem
When I bitched about my low paying jobs:
Son, you won't always be able to be proud of the job you have, but you CAN always be proud of the job you DO
 
"Do your best and we'll be proud of you."

And with that we strived to be the best we could be, even if it only meant a B in Math or C in French; there was never "You could have done better". With knowing that we excelled because we never felt like we (me and my sister) would let them down but we still wanted to make them proud.
 
Phantom Blooper said:
Don't eat yellow snow.....

Someone needs to tell my dog this.  He's from Georgia originally, I think this is the first year he's seen snow and well let's just say he hasn't quite got the hang of it yet.
 
When I first watched "Everybody Loves Raymond", I suddenly realised, it was MY family they depicted. I was the "Robert" character, who got no respect.
The father and mother were dead on copies of Dad and Mom, with some Archie and Edith mixed in for flavor.
A lot of Dad's sayings can't be printed here......
 
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