I just got the third degree treetmemt from my mom

[howardsells2000]

Ultimately she wants me to move into a house and live like a normal person , she thinks something is wrong with me but im pretty happy living in my camper. She commenced to tell me I was living at the bottom of the barrel and i need a plan. it hurts my feelings . im happy

 

[She]

I have one question. What the heck is normal?

 

[Pikachu711]

Howardsells2000, If you're happy living in your van don't change a thing! People like you Mom may never understand why you are a van dweller. The best you can do is hope that over time she'll come to accept your decision to live in your van. Some people just can't or won't accept anything other than living in a building with four walls.<br /><br />I'll be facing the same situation next year. Next year I'll be 55 years old. I'll be telling my&nbsp;79 year old Mom that I'll be moving out of my apartment and moving into a van and that I'll be leaving Las Vegas. As soon as I have my van I'll be telling my Mom the news. I'm sure that she'll be taken aback!<br /><br />Still, as long as you're happy living in your van don't change a thing!

 

[gypsydreamer]

<br />Why tell them you'll be "living in a van"?&nbsp; Just say "I'll be traveling for a while."<br /><br />edited

 

[mockturtle]

My kids feel the same way. <img src="/images/boards/smilies/biggrin.gif" alt="" align="absmiddle" border="0" />

 

[Mortisha]

I have family members that feel the same way but I have to do what I need to do. I know it is going to be something that they will never understand but I do not understand all of their decisions either.&nbsp;Empathize with how they feel but keep doing what you need/want to do. HuggZ&nbsp;

 

[Pikachu711]

<p>You actually meet people who want to become "travelers"&nbsp;when you least expect it. Last night I went out to have a beer at my local pub and the bartendr&nbsp;&amp; I at one point were alone on the bar. This was when I told Jerry that I was going to become a van dweller sometime next year.<br /><br />He proceeded to tell me that he was looking to buy a travel trailer. He had friends who live in southern California&nbsp;who told him that there were job opportunities for him. His friends told him that he could park his&nbsp;travel trailer in their big yard. Now he's looking for a travel trailer to move for a new job.<br /><br />He's been in Vegas a lot of years and he finally wants a change of scenery as well. Now he can't wait to move to somewhere that's close to an ocean. He's originally from New Jersey so he's very excited about his future move.</p>

 

[SoulRaven]

Moms are great and give good advice... But if you feel you need to do what mommy or anyone else wants you to do, well then you are not ready for the totally independent and rough life of van-dwelling... ya stand up like a man or go home...<br /><br />

Ultimately she wants me to move into a houseand live like a normal person , she thinks something is wrong with me but im pretty happy living in my camper. She commenced to tell me I was living at the bottom of the barrel and i need a plan it hurts my feelings . im happy

 

[Seraphim]

Normal? I've spent my whole life trying to be anything but...<br /><br />You only get one life, and you have to choose where you go with it. Make something of yourself, but only you can decide what that should be.

 

[gadgetMe]

<span id="post_message_1274641541"> She commenced to tell me I was living at the bottom of the barrel and i need a plan.</span>

<br /><br />You DO have a plan its van dwelling... <img src="/images/boards/smilies/wink.gif" alt="" align="absmiddle" border="0" /><br />And it is your choice ... <br /><br />Putz

 

[yesican]

Normal has a first name...its Abby...So they are one-in-the-same...Normal and AbbyNormal.&nbsp; So its not a matter of which one you are but which one are people calling you today!<br />Rae

 

[Unchained]

I'm pretty much in the same boat, as my mom will never understand this. <br /><br />Knowing that my job is probably ending soon, she envisions me coming 'home' and going back to school (I already have a biology degree) so that I can get a 'normal' job, work from 9 to 5, and saddle myself with monthly rent (or even better, a mortgage) and all the other 'normal' things my siblings love so much. <br /><br />Ummmm...no.&nbsp; I spent nearly 2 decades of my life trying to do what was 'expected', turning my back on the one thing that really made me happy- the 'gypsy' life of working the Ren Faires. Result? I wound up married to a man that I grew to hate, working a 'normal' job and living a life that I hated even more. Now, at age 43, I finally have the opportunity to do something that makes ME happy, and I intend to make the most of it.<br /><br />Don't get me wrong, I love my parents. But this is MY life.

 

[Pikachu711]

I'm pretty much in the same boat, as my mom will never understand this. <br /><br />Knowing that my job is probably ending soon, she envisions me coming 'home' and going back to school (I already have a biology degree) so that I can get a 'normal' job, work from 9 to 5, and saddle myself with monthly rent (or even better, a mortgage) and all the other 'normal' things my siblings love so much. <br /><br />Ummmm...no.&nbsp; I spent nearly 2 decades of my life trying to do what was 'expected', turning my back on the one thing that really made me happy- the 'gypsy' life of working the Ren Faires. Result? I wound up married to a man that I grew to hate, working a 'normal' job and living a life that I hated even more. Now, at age 43, I finally have the opportunity to do something that makes ME happy, and I intend to make the most of it.<br /><br />Don't get me wrong, I love my parents. But this is MY life.

<br /><br />Unchained,&nbsp;I'm in the same situation myself.&nbsp;At 54 years old I suddenly realize that I need a change from a 40-hour week. I need something less&nbsp;stressful and want to have some fun while&nbsp;I&nbsp;still can do so.<br /><br />When I buy my van&nbsp;that will be the time to tell my 78 year old&nbsp;Mom of my planned life change. She's very old school in&nbsp;her thinking,&nbsp;but&nbsp;I'm hopeful that she'll understand. If she doesn't, so be it!!! I'm doing it anyway.&nbsp;Like you, I love my&nbsp;Mom but it's MY life. I have to live it on&nbsp;MY terms. NOT societies norms!<br />&nbsp;&nbsp;<br /><br />

 

[Seraphim]

I don't recall my parents ever commenting on my life hoices after I left home. I know my mom wasn't pleased I joined the Marine Corps, lol, but she kept her opinions to herself.<br /><br />My son just graduated college and is trying to decide whether or not to go to NYC and take a shot at Broadway. &nbsp;I've always told him to follow his dream, and when he called several weeks log, and asked what he should do, I told him to do what he thought would really make him happy.<br /><br />There comes a time to stop making decisions for our kids, or they'll never grow into responsibility. They have to make their own mistakes and earn their own successes without mommy and daddy telling them what they should do.<br /><br /><br />

 

[angeli]

Hi Howard,<br /><br />I'm sure that your Mom is just worried about you because she doesn't understand.&nbsp; Living a mobile life is so different from what we as americans are conditioned to want.&nbsp; We are taught to pursue wealth and that little house with the picket fence, and stay in one place.&nbsp; But every generation or so, someone or a group of someones come along and do something totally different for awhile.&nbsp; Now, you don't need to be a rebel.&nbsp; That vision isn't even true if you are a traditional corporate manager.&nbsp; Many corporate people (managers, engineers, VPs, sales, IT) are constantly having to move from city to city for their company.&nbsp; If you can understand that her fear for you comes from love and her own limited world view, then maybe your feelings won't be so hurt.&nbsp; Or perhaps you've set up conflict with her so that you can NOT do it, and also not take responsibility for your decision.&nbsp; At any rate, you can tell yourself that if it doesn't work out, you can always go back to living a so-called 'normal' lifestyle! <br /><br />If you think about it, the Roma (gypsies) have been mobile for many generations and hundreds of years.&nbsp; First in tents, then vardo, and now in caravans (RV trailers).&nbsp; They are not bottom of the barrel, it is just their culture.&nbsp; Many Native Americans were constantly moving as well.&nbsp; Some people just want to see what's over the next hill.&nbsp; If you wanted wealth, you might be able to find that job that would have you constantly moving around, but you wouldn't find the freedom or the time to do what you want, that you find with life on the road.&nbsp; I used to drive a big truck, and was always on the road, saw lots of places, but was a prisoner in my cab, with very little time to play or even breathe.&nbsp; I had a good job, and I actually liked it quite a bit, but there was no freedom.&nbsp; JMO&nbsp; <img src="/images/boards/smilies/smile.gif" alt="" align="absmiddle" border="0" />

 

[Unchained]

Why does everyone use the term, "Van Dwelling" ??? &nbsp;<br /><br />It sounds gloomy to me, IMHO... &nbsp;After all, the root word in dwelling is dwell, which in the English Dictionary means, "to live in poverty"... &nbsp;Yes, I know it also means, "to live/reside in" etc.., but i think it may give the average Joe (or mom) the wrong impression.&nbsp;

<br />You make a good point. Maybe I'll tell my mom that I'm going to be vancationing instead. <img src="/images/boards/smilies/biggrin.gif" alt="" align="absmiddle" border="0" />

 

[sl1966]

When push came to shove with my mother. I reminded her that I earn more than her and my father combined, am months away from debt freedom, own land, not making mortgage payments past the age of retirement, and love her very much.<br /><br />My father walked out of the room giggling.<br /><br />

 

[NanaAnnieB]

It's all in the person's perspective. &nbsp;I expect to hear the same thing from my kids when I set out (I'm 64, they're 21, 38 and 42)...<br /><br />

 

[Journeyman]

Offer to give the kids tips when they're ready to escape the rat race.

 

[SoulRaven]

huge kudo's on your approach...<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Helvetica; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: medium;"><span>I don't recall my parents ever commenting on my life hoices after I left home. I know my mom wasn't pleased I joined the Marine Corps, lol, but she kept her opinions to herself.My son just graduated college and is trying to decide whether or not to go to NYC and take a shot at Broadway. I've always told him to follow his dream, and when he called several weeks log, and asked what he should do, I told him to do what he thought would really make him happy.There comes a time to stop making decisions for our kids, or they'll never grow into responsibility. They have to make their own mistakes and earn their own successes without mommy and daddy telling them what they should do.</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Helvetica; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: medium;"><br /></span><br /><br />