Choosing to be Single and on the Road

[gcal]

As long as this was not aimed at anyone in particular, this needed to be said. Sometimes, it goes both ways, too. I have seen both men and women stick around for the kids, or to avoid financial ruin, or because their families expected it. But, yes, menopause does get blamed for what often is simply an increasing lack of willingness to put up with a situation that has not been so good for the woman in the first place. Others involved, who are unaware of or who have simply been ignoring things that should have been addressed, get blind-sided.

At least, that's what I have seen go on.

 

[SaltySeaWitch]

I've not hit menopause yet but I have "paused from men" for now ;-)

 

[gcal]

Sometimes, when your life is changing direction, that's a good idea. Then, if you decide you want to complicate things with a relationship, later, at least you are both headed in the same direction.

 

[gcal]

I've often wondered about the controlling, changing thing. It isn't the exclusive property of either sex but does seem to be more often the tendency of the male. When the lady resists being changed and manipulated she suddenly becomes a raving b---h. That is not to say that it doesn't work both ways, it surely does. I think this comes from insecurity, if I can control her/him I am in control in my world. The thing that we all learned growing up, get an education, get a job, get a spouse, get some debt, get a house, get some kids and you'll be happy ever after. When it doesn't work out that way, get some anger, get some liquor, get some drugs, get some misery. I'm in no way saying everyone's life follows that road map, but too many do. Learn to know yourself, love yourself and you will not only be happier, you will be a better friend, companion, confidant.

Everybody has to change if they want to be in a mutually satisfying relationship. It's just a matter of how core to ones character the change has to be. Neatniks (like me) have to learn to tolerate a little mess. Messy people (like DH) have to learn to pick up their clothes and put away their stuff. As long as your core values are the same, youll work it out.

It's when people start out with deeply different core values that things fall apart. There are some issues where compromise isn't possible without one person ceasing to be who he or she really is. Religion, children, work ethic, attitudes towards money,  whether to spend freely now or sacrifice for the future, attitudes towards each other's roles in the family. Some people just don't combine well.

 

[gcal]

I am a married man that is single ( the most dangerous type) we have a separate arrangement these past 8 years. I pay all the bills she gets the bedroom. I figure where in San Francisco can I rent that is cheaper than buying this house the answer is nowhere , the only problem with that is I do not like living in San Francisco any more, and the only problem with that is the house across the street sold for 1.4 million. My mortgage is 1100. I either need a good psyciotrist or just walk/drive away and go into foreclosure. It is still very amicable between us like buddies, it's complicated . She is very loving and caring but we do have a distinct separation when her severe Menopause kicked in I had to give her A LOTTA SPACE. AM I SPILLING MY GUTS HERE OR WHAT,  I am OK with the arrangement for now and manage . Thanks for letting me bend yer ears. you guys get me thinking about a lot of girlie stuff again I may bring my pink pajamas  
AGAIN

8 years. Hmm. If you were my brother, I would tell you to check with a lawyer about selling the house and getting a  divorce now, while things are still amicable. Living arranges don't have to change, but you don't want to be locked into supporting that household at a time when you want to retire and do your own thing. Things may become less amicable when it's time for your wife to support herself.

 

[Terry]

Well now, Cathy and I were as different as two people could be but we lasted almost 40 years. What we did was to realize that there was nothing, nor anyone, more important than each other, and how we were feeling at any given moment. Sure, we'd have arguments and all. I'd even storm out when things got to hot, but I'd always call within a few minutes to be sure she was OK and let her know to not worry, I'd be home as soon as I cooled off. Life was so much more fun when I had someone I cared about to share it with.

 

[wagoneer]

8 years. Hmm. If you were my brother, I would tell you to check with a lawyer about selling the house and getting a  divorce now, while things are still amicable. Living arranges don't have to change, but you don't want to be locked into supporting that household at a time when you want to retire and do your own thing. Things may become less amicable when it's time for your wife to support herself.

If I were your brother would you be my brother or sister, it is important to me to get both male and female clarifications. Thanks for the comment

 

[Vonbrown]

I seem to be OK with myself and my life. I am solely responsible for all that was,is and will be. I have always wanted to travel and live in a rv as far back as I can remember. I spent the early part of my youth hitchhiking the usa. (I ran away from home)
I'm retired now, I raised a family,separated from my wife of 20 years and am seeking new adventures. I have been traveling in my van going places, seeing things and doing stuff, but have discovered that it's tons more fun doing it with an like minded individual.

 

[gcal]

If I were your brother would you be my brother or sister, it is important to me to get both male and female clarifications. Thanks for the comment

I would be your big sister. Yes, gender does make a difference in viewpoint.

 

[Bster13]

Apologies for resurrecting an old thread, but there's' a lot of people on this thread with experience being single.

As you grow older, how important is s_x and lovemaking? Do you crave it just as much as yesteryear or do you more so miss the companionship?

The reason I ask if that I suspect I'm younger than some on this thread and if the craving for s_x wanes over time (it has for me slightly over time).... I really think (hope?) the companionship of friends in their own rigs, but part of my "tribe," will take care of most of what I was missing from a full fledged relationship.

Just curious. Thx.

 

[jimindenver]

Has the desire diminished? Not at 53.

Hitting the road alone is going to be very odd to me. We have spent 24/7 together for the better part of 31 years outside of a week here or there for me to go home to see the folks. It's going to take some getting use to. Well quite a bit actually.

I am not choosing to be single. I am just forcing a change in my situation resulting in me being single and taking on a lifestyle that makes the possibilities slim to none.

 

[ArtW]

at 50 the desire hasn't diminished, but it's not an all the time thing, either, not do I worry over frequency, sex happens if and when it happens
I will say after the separation from my ex I was very lonely, until I started realizing how very much freer I was, how I could actually save money and get stuff i wanted, and how much less work I was doing at home
That's when i decided no more serious relationships, and ne servitude
I am very up front about that, and the minute i detect 'owner' behaviour, or manipulation, I call them out on their shit, back it up, and if that causes a storm, I'm out
I will not be a beast of burden again

 

[Odyssey]

Apologies for resurrecting an old thread, but there's' a lot of people on this thread with experience being single.

As you grow older, how important is s_x and lovemaking? Do you crave it just as much as yesteryear or do you more so miss the companionship?

The reason I ask if that I suspect I'm younger than some on this thread and if the craving for s_x wanes over time (it has for me slightly over time).... I really think (hope?) the companionship of friends in their own rigs, but part of my "tribe," will take care of most of what I was missing from a full fledged relationship.

Just curious. Thx.

Are you asking do I choose to be single or do I choose to forego s_x and lovemaking?
Are you saying that "full fledged relationships" are the only avenue for physical indulgence?

 

[wagoneer]

Me think everyone would like a cuttlebuddy, I sure miss it.

 

[ArtW]

Wagoneer, I have a 70lb furry cuddle buddy, his Name is Buddy, and he thinks he's training me to let him out every 15 minute with a doggie treat when he comes back in
Sometimes he's a bed hog though

 

[SoulRaven]

Apologies for resurrecting an old thread, but there's' a lot of people on this thread with experience being single.

As you grow older, how important is s_x and lovemaking?  Do you crave it just as much as yesteryear or do you more so miss the companionship?

The reason I ask if that I suspect I'm younger than some on this thread and if the craving for s_x wanes over time (it has for me slightly over time).... I really think (hope?) the companionship of friends in their own rigs, but part of my "tribe," will take care of most of what I was missing from a full fledged relationship.

Just curious. Thx.

I'm currently 27, I was 25 when I started vandwelling and single.

This might not be the answer you're looking for, but there are devices available that can make going solo pretty amazing. For women especially, the options are endless. Just avoid the clear jelly types (toxic + harbors bacteria) and any electronics with less power than two AA batteries (my personal rule of thumb).

Like with humans, it can take a few tries to find what you like. Unlike humans, cuddling these isn't very satisfying. :/

I've also found a lot of people open-minded about casual intimate encounters in my journeys. One such person turned into my boyfriend. That was over a year ago and we're ridiculously happy together.

 

[Bster13]

Haha.  It doesn't exactly satisfy my curiosity on the subject, but your post made me smile.  Rock on.

 

[jimindenver]

2 AA, I was thinking at least D cells.

 

[anewbiewannabe]

Maybe for yours. Would deffo be a rocket rabbit with D cells. :angel:

 

[SoulRaven]

Haha.  It doesn't exactly satisfy my curiosity on the subject, but your post made me smile.  Rock on.

I'd be happy to share a lot more, I'm just holding back for the sake of anyone who'd rather not hear it. I used to be a sex blogger and my bf worked at an adult shop selling the things, so between the two of us there's a fair bit of knowledge on the subject. Feel free to PM!

2 AA, I was thinking at least D cells.

For D cell power you wanna go with the ones that plug into a wall. Or, rather, the ones that will work with the inverter. Another reason I need a pure sine wave...

The ones that have replaceable batteries of any type are all "budget" tier, and are unlikely to provide as awesome an experience as those with an internal rechargeable battery. The rechargeable ones tend to be more expensive but have a lot more power, last longer, and have other perks. That said, there are luxury "flops" out there that aren't worth $10 much less $100+ so a little know-how goes a long way. Conversely, there are a few budget ones that have enough power and last long enough to make them a steal.