Why I live on the Road

[mdoverl]

I’ve been too afraid to let my young kids (7, 4, & 3) see their strong dad depressed for the past few months, and too scared to say anything.

Now my wife has a new boyfriend and everyone thinks I abandoned my kids and don’t love them, and I’m still too scared to say I’m depressed.

I feel like I deserve everyone’s hate and I’m too scared to deal with lawyers.

I could blame my childhood and parents, but it doesn’t matter, I’m losing the only humans that I love on this planet.


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[bullfrog]

Talking it out helps. Contact one of the hotlines or visit one of the local hospitals. Depression is an illness and needs attention. In most cases it won't get better without help. Call now. Some things in life require professional help. Being alone is not a good place to be right now. If nothing else busy yourself getting help, find the number and call it. It is the one thing you can do to start to make things better. Do it not only for yourself but those you care about as well.

 

[mdoverl]

Talking it out helps. Contact one of the hotlines or visit one of the local hospitals. Depression is an illness and needs attention. In most cases it won't get better without help. Call now. Some things in life require professional help. Being alone is not a good place to be right now. If nothing else busy yourself getting help, find the number and call it. It is the one thing you can do to start to make things better. Do it not only for yourself but those you care about as well.

I would call, but I don’t feel like it’s going to help me get my kids back.


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[WanderingRose]

It’s important to pull yourself together long enough to regularly visit your children.

Your absence may affect them deeply, so you must do this for them.

I agree with bullfrog, that talking with someone is important and that’s why there are crisis lines and mental health centers.

Medication may help.

I wouldn’t try to focus on getting your kids back right now, but on maintaining contact with them.

Good luck to you.

 

[RoamerRV428]

So sorry you are going thru this but you have to put it in perspective from the crazy insane circle of stuff it is.....you need to take action to be sure you get your rights to see your kids, that will then help lift some of that depression knowing you are taking action to work against what is depressing you, that feeling of losing your kids, but it doesn't have to be that way. A lawyer will get fast action to ensure you can see your kids on whatever custody schedule....so yes, faster action to fix the issue will result in your feeling better, when you see your kids you can chat real truths with them about what is happening and set them in a better frame of mind...........no one matters what they think in the family in full truth.......other than your kids!! Your kids get the right info from you then you can get matters very clear to them and help them understand making them better and you better. But if you can, talk to anyone....even the lawyer to get some custody open now. Wishing you only the best and hope things settle fast for you and you feel better!!

 

[mdoverl]

I’m worried that I can’t afford a lawyer


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[bullfrog]

Quit worrying and check for community public assistance after calling the help line. Fix yourself then start trying to fix your relationships. Best wishes but asking for help is something only you can do.

 

[kklowell]

This is going to sound harsh, but doing nothing is a guaranteed way to lose those kids.
The advice you've been given here is a darned good way to start... call for help, talk to a lawyer and get better.

 

[jacqueg]

I’m worried that I can’t afford a lawyer


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I'm worried that you are teetering on the brink of a major depression. Been there, done that. Call a depression hotline.

Trust me on this. You need to deal with the depression first. You won't be able to take advantage of any good advice you receive until you get a handle on your state of mind. Pick up that phone and find someone who can and will help you sort out your feelings. Because how you feel about your life has everything to do with how well you deal with life's problems.

 

[mdoverl]

To keep everyone updated.

I called the Veteran Crisis Hotline this morning.

They wanted to put me in a hotel for a week. I didn’t feel I needed it, but it’ll be a nice break.

All counselors are booked for over a month at the Ava Hospital.

They have given me recommendations for legal aid, I’ll be calling this places tomorrow.


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[bullfrog]

That is the way to get better, and make life better for everyone in your life. Best wishes, call back any time you feel you need to as many there have been where you are at and will listen.

 

[crofter]

Thanks for letting us know so we can send positive thoughts your way. 

At one time in my life I was diagnosed with depression. There is brain chemistry balance involved that is helped by medication. Be sure to attend all psych appointments and request the meds. Depression meds have very few side effects and you will not need them forever.

Also get a referral to a case manager who can help you access services. You may already have a case manager if you are doing a hotel stay. Well worth the wait for services. In the mean time take walks.
-crofter

 

[kklowell]

To keep everyone updated.

I called the Veteran Crisis Hotline this morning.

They wanted to put me in a hotel for a week. I didn’t feel I needed it, but it’ll be a nice break.

All counselors are booked for over a month at the Ava Hospital.

They have given me recommendations for legal aid, I’ll be calling this places tomorrow.


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Fantastic! That's great news and a very good first step.

 

[jacqueg]

To keep everyone updated.

I called the Veteran Crisis Hotline this morning.

They wanted to put me in a hotel for a week. I didn’t feel I needed it, but it’ll be a nice break.

All counselors are booked for over a month at the Ava Hospital.

They have given me recommendations for legal aid, I’ll be calling this places tomorrow.


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I'm really happy to hear this!

Please keep us posted.

 

[WanderingRose]

Good to hear.

And as you wait for a VA counselor, if you are feeling really low the local mental health center should have a crisis worker or two who could see you and help strategize until a counselor is available for you.

Your physician may be willing to talk with you about an antidepressant, too.

You don’t have to see a psychiatrist for that, and those medications do take some time to be effective.

Glad you have taken that first step.

 

[txmnjim]

I’ve been too afraid to let my young kids (7, 4, & 3) see their strong dad depressed for the past few months, and too scared to say anything.

Now my wife has a new boyfriend and everyone thinks I abandoned my kids and don’t love them, and I’m still too scared to say I’m depressed.

I feel like I deserve everyone’s hate and I’m too scared to deal with lawyers.

I could blame my childhood and parents, but it doesn’t matter, I’m losing the only humans that I love on this planet.

i have been there and i can only wish you well as i have only advice on how not to do it. i'm glad to hear that you are getting help
and that is the first place to start as others have said, but i urge you to maintain that relationship as the kids seeing you as a vulnerable, 
sensitive father "flaws and all" is better than not seeing you. my two sons didn't see me for 12 years and that is time i will never get back
but also a scar that they can't seem to get over, as we are estranged and i am missing my grandchildren's lives. one doesn't even speak or
text anymore. good luck to you and please reach out if there is anything i can do to help. 
jim

 

[travelaround]

Breaking up is hard to do, like the song says. It is normal to be depressed when you have a reason like this, but also good to get help like others here have suggested. I've been through breakups and separations from my children, and suggest:
1. Have a TV to take your mind off your problems.
2. Take walks as that's a good way to naturally alleviate depression.
3. Reach out and see if there's a way you can help someone else - that's a good way to see beyond your own problems.
4. Start to build a new life for yourself that your children will admire.

 

[crofter]

Also you will receive paperwork be sure to respond and keep up a good address to receive mail, check in with lawyers etc. It is important to participate in the parenting plan paperwork & stay positive. Visits at a park, the zoo,  or library with your kids can be bright spots for them and you.
-crofter

 

[GypsyJan]

mdoverl:

I am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. Go ahead and send each kid an age-appropriate Hallmark type card so they know you are thinking about them and/or text them if you have their contact info.

 

[mdoverl]

Went to the VA for help, even called the Veteran Crisis Hotline, no one is available to talk to me for two months at the VA Hospital.

I told them not to bother scheduling an appointment.

Called different services for support for a lawyer, I make to much money to qualify for assistance. I don’t have enough money to hire my own lawyer.

Past two days I have made no progress.


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