You are missing one very important detail.
In democracy like USA or EU, you CAN disagree with your government, or talk about how we should or should not help other people to build democracy (and many of those countries welcome the help). You have rights and liberties.
In autocracy, if you say something your government does not approve, you likely get punished, killed, you have no rights except praise the leader. People KNOW that thinking is dangerous, and self-censor what they say, even to their own children, for safety reasons. You are lucky that you have no idea what it is to live in such system, so you can pretend they are equivalent.
Part of Russian propaganda is to pretend there is no difference between the democracy (with liberties etc) and autocracy. And some people in USA and Europe, like you, are believing this propaganda. They are caught in the web of lies and cannot find the way out.
I just find it sad that people don't make mental effort to see the difference, but of course in democracy, unlike autocracy, you have the right to have different and even wrong opinion.
I hope that in my travels I can meet you in person and explain you the propaganda you believe, because this is not a proper forum for such debates, and I will not continue this debate here. Howgh!