Preference? Alone or in Group?

[DuneElliot]

I think as far as a camp and socialization goes...it depends. Very good friends or people I know who like being social...I'd knock on the door and just ask. We can all decline. Anyone else...not unless they were outside.

I'm generally a pretty good judge of character so I can usually pick out those people who would be okay if I knocked on their door. I don't mind someone knocking on my door (or using the doorbell) to ask if I want to xyz if my lights are on. I don't see that as much different as having a front door in a house...one door between me and the rest of the world (apartments are different).

 

[SoulRaven]

Mind if I ask a question here? Not yet being familiar with road life, I am wondering this: 

I appreciate your contemplating this question (while gazing at the stars, of course....) 


Thanks, Pat and anyone else who might care to jump in and respond ....

Hey, FG.

I appreciate you asking! 

I think blmkid and HDR have answered already.   

Last year,  Bob made available red and green plastic tie-thingies,  the idea being to put up a red tie if you wanted your privacy.   Sad thing was, people ignored them.   Well, some people did.  Often the type of person it was  meant for!   


My suggestion?  Go for a walk around camp, you'll probably not get far till you run into someone who wants to visit.   That's part of the beauty of the RTR,  you can easily spend 2 weeks talking. .. at least,  I can! 



Pat

 

[waldenbound]

Flower girl,
That is an excellent, very insightful question.

I think so many of us have lived in the rat race for so long, when the time comes to be a nomad we think , “Finally, I can be away from people forever! Yippee!”
And that’s fine. There’s lots of time to sit and gaze at the stars, listen to a babbling brook, listen for owls, etc.

city living puts a barrier up. Everyone stay away, my apartment door, security gate, keeps me locked away and safe from stuff “out there.”

In the outdoors, the barriers start dropping. One reason I don’t need an rv now is because I don’t want to shut myself away from everything. I want to be out being in the surroundings of nature.

Now as far so people go, humans have always been social creatures, a lot of out necessity, safety in numbers, but also the human need for a reasonable amount of companionship. When the settlers moved into the Great Plains, the isolation drove some mad. Look up prairie madness. Even when you live miles away, you always knew who the nearest settler was. When they formed towns, they set up socials for the needed social interaction.

So I believe in a healthy balance between alone time and interaction with others. I plan on using the old technique of waving at people passing by. If I’m not outside, or waving, and my doors are shut, then it’s do not disturb time. I’ll also keep in mind the etiquette of standing a respectful distance from another rig and giving a “Hello!”

Great discussion.

 

[jacqueg]

Or as my brother likes to say when trying to introduce him to someone new, "I know enough people".

Sounds like a cat - cats often think that if you were worth knowing, they'd already know you! 

 

[jacqueg]

jacqueg
I think the key word here is good company, not all company is good or desirable. With the world in decline we must seek out the people we feel comfortable with, who nurture and heal our souls, who make us feel good about ourselves and are willing to try and make this shit hole of a world a better place. I truly feel the van dweller community is the way of the future, they are the ones sensitive, and intelligent enough to see and feel whats happening all around them, and are doing something about it.
casper

That's entirely true. I will often put myself out for good company even if I'd really rather be by myself. Because I think good people are the most valuable resources in anyone's life, and if I want them in my life, I'm going to have to put out the energy to be a good resource for others.

I was pretty darn confused about the whole people thing until I was in my 20s, when I finally figured out that quality mattered. (Don't ask me why it took so long to realize the obvious...)

But no matter how wonderful a particular person (or group of persons) is, I still need that down time.

 

[casper]

One must not confuse quantity with quality.
casper

 

[casper]

There needs to be a third choice. Sober I prefer my own company, get a lil buzz goin' and I want to swap shit stories.

Wabbit
I'm with you

 

[FlowerGirl]

Flower girl,
That is an excellent, very insightful question.

I think so many of us have lived in the rat race for so long, when the time comes to be a nomad we think , “Finally, I can be away from people forever! Yippee!”
And that’s fine. There’s lots of time to sit and gaze at the stars, listen to a babbling brook, listen for owls, etc.

city living puts a barrier up. Everyone stay away, my apartment door, security gate, keeps me locked away and safe from stuff “out there.”

In the outdoors, the barriers start dropping. One reason I don’t need an rv now is because I don’t want to shut myself away from everything. I want to be out being in the surroundings of nature.

Now as far so people go, humans have always been social creatures, a lot of out necessity, safety in numbers, but also the human need for a reasonable amount of companionship. When the settlers moved into the Great Plains, the isolation drove some mad. Look up prairie madness. Even when you live miles away, you always knew who the nearest settler was. When they formed towns, they set up socials for the needed social interaction.

So I believe in a healthy balance between alone time and interaction with others.  I plan on using the old technique of waving at people passing by. If I’m not outside, or waving, and my doors are shut, then it’s do not disturb time. I’ll also keep in mind the etiquette of standing a respectful distance from another rig and giving a “Hello!”

Great discussion.

Awesome response, Waldenbound. I had not heard of prairie madness, who knew? I will definitely be looking it up to learn more about it.  And I'm grateful you laid out the differences between times of old when settlers were moving into wide-open spaces, and now, when much of that has changed. 

I'm also glad you understood I was asking out of nervousness of losing my own privacy while camping, not that I was worried I would be intrusive to my neighbors by knocking on their door! Try knocking on someone's door in Manhattan unannounced and you might be surprised, probably not in a good way   We're generally pretty fierce about protecting our privacy here, probably somewhat of a compensatory stance since it's so dang crowded once you leave the door of your apartment building.

All this said, I hope I don't sound like an anti-social here; I AM really looking forward to meeting the kind folks here, probably at an RTR. I enjoyed perusing your website, too....very cleverly named, as well.

Thanks again for taking the time to write out your thoughts-  See you around a campfire sometime?

 

[FlowerGirl]

NO. Approaching the camp, you stop within just a low hollering distance and ask "is anybody home?" You Never walk up to any camp, even if you know them well and "tap". If they do not respond, turn and walk away. They may be busy or just want to be alone. don't take it the wrong way if they do not answer. Just respect there space when no "holler back" is given. Come back at some later time. Then try again. IMHO.

Thanks, blmkid- Your thoughts align with my own here. My instinct would be to call out first, and if no response, I'd leave.
I was concerned more with general "rules" about this, since most everyone here seems mindful of needing their own space and time respected. 

I'm glad you took the time to put some pointers out here!

 

[FlowerGirl]

if I don't see someone outside I leave them alone,  unless something has caused me to be concerned for their health/safety.  highdesertranger

Makes good sense, Thank you, highdesertranger!

 

[wasanah2]

Oh man, I don't want to run into other people when I camp.  I'm serious.  I don't want to visit.  I don't feel lonely.  I spent a lifetime of being in groups, doing things with and for others.  I had 3 kids.  I had no privacy.  Do you realize that I found solace in going to work because I could go to the bathroom without kids following me in there?  Seriously. 

My husband passed away, and when he did I realized that I didn't like being around all our friends; he was a popular person and liked having lots of people around him.  We entertained a lot.   So after he passed, and the kids grew up, I found out how great it is to be alone.

I'm kind of fun.  I laugh at my own jokes because every one of them is good.  I like my own company.

 

[FlowerGirl]

Hey, FG.

I appreciate you asking! 

I think blmkid and HDR have answered already.   

Last year,  Bob made available red and green plastic tie-thingies,  the idea being to put up a red tie if you wanted your privacy.   Sad thing was, people ignored them.   Well, some people did.  Often the type of person it was  meant for!   


My suggestion?  Go for a walk around camp, you'll probably not get far till you run into someone who wants to visit.   That's part of the beauty of the RTR,  you can easily spend 2 weeks talking. .. at least,  I can! 



Pat

Thanks, Pat-- hearing that Bob made tie thingies last year to help people signal their preferences for privacy (or not) reminded me so much of college dorm life, where guys hung a sock on their doorknob to make sure their dorm-mates didn't come barging in when they had, uh, company in there with them. 

And yep, the offenders who ignored Bob's markers are, as you said, exactly the type of people he intended the markers for. *sigh*

I went to meet a friend at a restaurant today, considered quiet because it's rather off-the-beaten-path and we also agreed to meet in the off hours of 3:00-4:30 pm, between lunch and dinner, to increase our chances of the place being empty and quiet. Well, it was, until someone sat down two tables away, propped her iPhone up to lean against the salt and pepper shakers, and turned on Speakerphone to full volume, then made a whole bunch of phone calls. My friend and I were incredulous at her utter disregard for anyone else sitting nearby. Just wow!

Pretty hard to imagine anything ruder than having to endure someone's loudly-amplified phone conversations right near you inside a restaurant. I called the waitress over, hoping she would say something to her, but clearly she felt it was above her pay grade to get involved. 

I suppose it doesn't matter whether you're in midtown Manhattan or out at the RTR....good manners are at a premium.        Bob definitely had the right idea in creating "markers". 
Guess a big Do Not Disturb sign on the door will be the next incarnation of those plastic thingies. 

Thanks for writing out your thoughts here, Pat....I am appreciative! 
FG

 

[FlowerGirl]

I think as far as a camp and socialization goes...it depends. Very good friends or people I know who like being social...I'd knock on the door and just ask. We can all decline. Anyone else...not unless they were outside.

I'm generally a pretty good judge of character so I can usually pick out those people who would be okay if I knocked on their door. I don't mind someone knocking on my door (or using the doorbell) to ask if I want to xyz if my lights are on. I don't see that as much different as having a front door in a house...one door between me and the rest of the world (apartments are different).

Thanks for your thoughtful post, DuneElliot--  You're right, a lot of knowing the right thing to do in any one situation, hinges largely on knowing the other person's character. 

I guess I shouldn't be sad about how disconnected we've all gotten, thanks to technology and social media taking the place of much face-to-face socializing, and then simultaneously be upset that someone might actually drop by to visit, unannounced! LOL... I guess it's all about finding balance. 

Thanks again for responding

 

[Duke]

'...I guess I shouldn't be sad about how disconnected we've all gotten, thanks to technology and social media taking the place of much face-to-face socializing, and then simultaneously be upset that someone might actually drop by to visit, unannounced! LOL... I guess it's all about finding balance....' 

Well put FlowerGirl! 

The question cast me into a bit of a quandary which was described in this manner:
.................

Agreed~ it is a matter of balance.

Pat's framed a question which really stirred something up in me.

At this juncture, it is "TheQuestion" moreso than answer, which perhaps is of more value for this one!

The Moodys expressed it well:

 

[jonsun]

 

[SoulRaven]

The Moodys expressed it well:


DUKE!  Great ptr!

I can't believe that with all the bands I've seen,  I've never seen them! 

Wow,  they are still great.

 

[SoulRaven]

I'm kind of fun.  I laugh at my own jokes because every one of them is good.  I like my own company.

Wow!  We have so much in common,  we should hang out! 

Sorry,  couldnt resist.

I truly get what you said! 

Pat

 

[Motrukdriver]

I prefer to travel in a small group. If someone breaks down there are hands available to help. I guess that goes back to my motorcycle days and riding with my "gang". Back when I had my little Scotty canned ham trailer I liked being by myself most of the time. Drove a semi for 14 years coast to coast and you had to make your own alone time. Truckstops are always noisy and everyone is either idling the big engine or a generator so I just buttoned up all the windows and kept to myself. Going inside to get a bite and get cleaned up was my social time. We'd gather around the big TV for a while and share our war stories about being on the road. Then, it was time to go settle in to the mobile fortress of solitude for the night. When I get back on the road after I get back to the US my preference will be to travel in small groups which I am used to doing but camp far enough away so when I go to sleep I don't hear anyone. I did it this way when I used to go to Pagan events and it worked out well for me. 3 more months left over here and then I get back on that big silver bird and head back home. Can't wait to get started on an old life that will be new again....

 

[Duke]

Motr~man, thanks for such a poignant share!

No doubt those 90 days will but fly by.

Quite seems most responding to Pat's Question value both Solitude & Camaraderie.

Your signature definition of Solitude very much resonates here- thanks for sharing it!

Safe Travels,

Duke

 

[SoulRaven]

Motr~man, thanks for such a poignant share!

Your signature definition of Solitude very much resonates here- thanks for sharing it!


Duke

Yes! Absence of distraction! 

For me, I get annoyed when distracted. .. and that's one thing I want to avoid.