Is it wise for me to move into a Van now?

[templedog]

I am a 32 year old man that is single but is it a good choice to move into a Van?<div><br></div><div>I own a pretty nice car (babe magnet thing) but I am broke out of my mind. (want to sell for a Van) I'm debating&nbsp;whether&nbsp;to move into a Van and get a job in the cities... but my social life will be practically nil. I don't know what to do. I don't want to regret and waste some youth that I have left, but then again why not make more money for later... The ladies like the money, but they also don't like living in a Van so much... I&nbsp;haven't&nbsp;told many people about my Van plan yet.&nbsp;</div><div><br></div><div>A friend told me "why live in a van, when houses are so cheap right now.. and they gain equity over time, might as well get a woman and a house " ... that all sounds good... but I don't know about this small town social click here.... it seems better to just get a Van and go to the cities and pound out paychecks with no rent expense.... do that for 7 years and be 40 with some money... because I am so piss poor right now. I can barley make it... and when your poor.. it really makes you feel uncomfortable. but when I'm 40... who knows.. ya know, I want children I guess.... and all that. 7 years of Van dwelling memories I'd have to live with... which can be ok... but I might regret soo much of the unknown alternative of family and house</div><div><br></div><div>so, idk what to do</div>

 

[katelyn]

I wouldn't do anything drastic right now, take some time and think about it. All I know is that I knew I wanted to live on the road, but I listened to everybody else and bought a small house, I had a decent place to live but I couldn't go out and do anything because I was still broke all the time.&nbsp; I guess I had to find out what I didn't want to really understand what I did want. <br>&nbsp; I gave up on trying to plan so far ahead, I guess you just gotta try to do what's right for you in the moment. <br>&nbsp; Anyway, good luck with whatever you do!<br><br>

 

[sl1966]

I agree with Katelynn. Don't do anything until you know better what you really want.&nbsp;<div><br></div><div>Having said that. Testing out the mobile life and then returning to a sticks &amp; bricks life is easier than in the reverse. Doubly so if you started a family and they are unwilling to go with you.</div><div><br></div>

 

[Bear]

<p style="margin: 0px;">I would not suggest going into vandwelling without conviction. Even though none of us is ever as "sure" as we'd like to be about the choices we make, you are expressing significant doubts about this path. If finding the life partner and future co-parent of your children is your priority, and you think vandwelling hinders that (and I think you're right) then don't do it. If saving money is the priority and you can work and live in the van while you do it, then you should strongly consider the financial savings. In the second case, you can still meet people at work, through friends of friends, etc. and they don't need to know you are vandwelling - at least not immediately.</p><p style="margin: 0px;">&nbsp;</p><p style="margin: 0px;">There is a middle path, find less expensive housing in which you could still pursue your social goals. Rather than Apt or House rentals, I would recommend looking for in-law units or shared houses where you have kitchen privileges and a room within the household. Many folks are renting rooms out now, whether to add income or simply don't like living alone in a big house, there are some deals out there if you can cohabitate. Good luck, &amp; don't despair, you sound like a bright guy and will&nbsp;figure this out&nbsp;- B</p>

 

[Seraphim]

What is most important in life? Financial Security, prestige, family, friends, doing something you feel is worthwhile,? Only you can decide. Work to achieve that main goal, and the rest will fall in place around it. Without a goal to strive for, you will attain nothing. Your priorities will change as life goes on - count on it - but decide what's most important RIGHT NOW and strive for it. When your priorities change, then adapt and work for your new goal.

We can't tell you any more than that.

 

[akrvbob]

While everybodies suggestions have been reasoned and wise, I'm going to go the other way and say follow your heart, sell that car, buy a van and move into it. What good is a safe life lived without any risk of failure or possibility of great happiness? Take a chance and make a leap of faith. What's the worst that can happen, you miss the social life and want to get back into a house to search for a female companion. Maybe you are forced to drive a van for a few years instead of the babe magnet. Seems like a pretty small risk to me. Whats the best that can happen? You find a new way of life that you love and brings you joy!. What's most likely to happen? Vandwelling is okay but you keep doing it because you are saving so much money. The babes will just have to wait. <br><br>One way is fear-based, safe but boring and bland. No great losses but no great rewards. The other is risky, adventure-based. Some chance of loss, but even greater chance of a real reward. To me its a no-brainer, sell that thing and get a van!! Bob <br><br>

 

[cyndi]

I'm with Bob. Go for the adventure now, nothing will stop you from settling, later, if thats what you want.&nbsp; <br><br><br>

 

[4x4tour]

Dawg...<div><br></div><div>I'm in the Katelynn situation, but when I complete my van, i want to be roadbound (Im going a little crazy with this build), and maybe rent out the house. &nbsp;I totally hear ya about the ladies situation, but I'm thinking of just boondocking on public lands during the week, and then spoiling myself with a hotel room (3 star, at least) during the weekends. &nbsp;A casino, perhaps?&nbsp;<img border="0" align="absmiddle" src="https://vanlivingforum.com/images/boards/smilies/biggrin.gif"></div><div><br></div><div>I don't care what women say&nbsp;publicly (about going to hotel rooms, and not being classy), but I have seen that women love it (kinda like their own version of camping...lol) &nbsp;And before I get pummeled, let me clarify that "most" of these contacts were while in a work capacity... &nbsp;Although some were not&nbsp;<img border="0" align="absmiddle" src="https://vanlivingforum.com/images/boards/smilies/rolleyes.gif"></div><div>&nbsp;</div><div>So, on weekends I'll be spiffy, and during the week I'll be hiding from my crazy ex...lol&nbsp;</div><div><br></div><div>What you'll find on this site is an abundance of various personalities, traits and experiences that will be extremely helpful to you (and the like). &nbsp; Fear of&nbsp;loneliness is normal, in my opinion, and like Nike says, "Just do it".&nbsp;&nbsp; As for chick magnets, look what I built/painted by myself, only to sell it, as you should do. &nbsp;Yeah, I miss her, but money talks... &nbsp;And that money is building my 4x4 van-home...lol&nbsp;</div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div>

</div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div>&nbsp;</div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div>&nbsp;</div>

 

[Seraphim]

What good is a safe life lived without any risk of failure or possibility of great happiness?

So all of us who went the stick and brick route suffer from a lack of great happiness. Damn, I didn't know that. now I'm depressed for the first time in my life...

LOL

Bob, different things make different things happy. Nothing in the world could grant me the happiness I've known with my wife. Yes, we live together, made a home together, raised a family together, travel together, do almost everything together, but the joy of it all is the togetherness. Without that, there would be none [joy].

There's also the joy of watching a son step out and make his mark in the world. What greater happiness is there than that?

Kindly don't feel sorry for those of us who have worked for a traditional home.

Each must find their own path to happiness - and decide exactly what it is that makes them happy. Your way, or my way, might not be his.

 

[stude53]

<p style="margin: 0px;"><font size="3" face="Times New Roman"></font></p><p style="margin: 0px;"><span style='font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";'><font size="3">Since you asked for opinions, I'll share mine. </font></span></p><p style="margin: 0px;"><span style='font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";'><font size="3"></font></span>&nbsp;</p><p style="margin: 0px;"><span style='font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";'><font size="3">If you sell your car, buy a van, and outfit it for living in, you can find out if this is a life you can adapt to and enjoy. This does not preclude going back to your current situation if you find later that it is not for you.</font></span></p><p style="margin: 0px;"><span style='font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";'><font size="3"></font></span>&nbsp;</p><p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style='font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";'><font size="3">It will also give you the opportunity to have uncommited income from your salary... which you can choose to save for future financial freedom and still spend some to enjoy the female company you also desire.</font></span></p><p style="margin: 0px;"><span style='font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";'><font size="3">You are 32? Here's a quote that says it all ...</font></span></p><p style="margin: 0px;"><span style='font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";'><font size="3"></font></span>&nbsp;</p><p style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;" class="MsoNormal"><span class="text"><span style='line-height: 115%; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt;'>"Twenty years from now </span></span><span style='line-height: 115%; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt;'><br><span class="text">you will be more disappointed</span><br><span class="text">by the things that you didn't do</span><br><span class="text">than by the ones you did do.</span><br><span class="text">So throw off the bowlines.</span><br><span class="text">Sail away from the safe harbor.</span><br><span class="text">Catch the trade winds in your sails.</span><br><span class="text">Explore. Dream. Discover."</span><br><span class="text">Mark Twain</span></span></p><p><font size="3" face="Times New Roman"></font></p>

 

[templedog]

There is good advice here. I've been seeing a psychologist lately and told her my Van plan. She doesn't really give much advice except wait for winter to be over and to watch my spending and finances, because she knows I'm flat broke. She might be someone taken by this whole lifestyle. I told her words like; boondocking, hippies, stealth sleeping, going green, mobile lifestyle.. everythings mobile nowdays. She still kinda looked at me strange. I explained everything. Van with decals (stealth) hightop, handpump sink, compost toilet, foldup bed, solarpanels for laptop and phone, captains chair that swivels, tinted windows, no snoring,&nbsp;excitement&nbsp;of living in different places, crazy people on the net convincing me it's OK... i still got the look. &nbsp;<div><br></div><div>My lady killer isn't as pimp as 4x4s but I love it so much, it will be hard for me to sell it. I've been struggling with Van living for awhile, so on Thanksgiving ( a few days ago) I went out to the country (Hankinson ND) and made a video of my babe magnet. Here is the link. &nbsp;<a href="" target="_blank"></a></div><div><br></div><div>I actually work as a card dealer at a casino (not currently, but could get rehired). So, I'm looking for a casino across the country, for one that has showers in the employee locker room. I worked at one that did once. So, that would be ideal.&nbsp;</div><div><br></div><div>&nbsp;I'm meeting girls on online dating sites... but it's sad because they all have kids. I feel like "Why should I have to raise her kids,... I can go live in a Van.. and do my own thing $save$ $make$... after awhile she will want money and her kids need it too.. and I'll need it for them.. but there's no work here, so I should not fall in love. I could jump into a relationship with a girl and have a family, but I know I wont be able to "provide" the way I would like to because there's no way she would want to move out to the closest Indian Casino to live. And this Indian Casino that's close... I don't want to live there either. So, I'm thinking...save up... get Van..pimp van.. find Casino. Adventure!!!&nbsp;</div><div><br></div><div>When I try to date "online girls" and I meet them. They know I'm broke.. so it's certainly a problem no matter what. I had my heart broke by a girl.. she liked me when she thought I had money, once she realized there was nothing... BOOM. She basically wanted nothing to do with me.&nbsp;</div><div><br></div><div>IDK, the Van seems like a nice adventure. I can move anywhere... I love that feeling. Others are trapped and stuck. Some even stuck with significant others, just for the paycheck.. and nothing else. ugh.. I've met some girls in that situation.</div><div><br></div><div>Might as well do it. In the end... the Van can just be another vehicle... I suppose. I need the big city though... Too much redneck/native&nbsp;inbreeding&nbsp;at some of these Res casinos. Fighting and fucking, alcoholics. It's hard to stealth sleep in a smaller town Casino also. I would be socially ostracized very quickly.. unless it was summer and it was my first impression, I could play up the whole going green thing.. natives love that. &nbsp;It's strange with the Van/casino, because it's like you're a going green hippie and your a hard edge economist all at the same time. Conservative/liberal. Freedom of all that language really. Like living in a Van.. you don't really need to abide by so many rules others do.</div><div><br></div><div>I'm going to prepare myself through the winter for the Van Plan. Basically I want "Babes"Chicks" still.. lol.. that is why it's hard for me.&nbsp;</div><div><br></div><div><br></div>

 

[Seraphim]

When I try to date "online girls" and I meet them. They know I'm broke.. so it's certainly a problem no matter what. I had my heart broke by a girl.. she liked me when she thought I had money, once she realized there was nothing... BOOM. She basically wanted nothing to do with me.&nbsp;

<BR><BR>Perhaps try being up front about your lifestyle and the reason for it. Then you'll know that the girl who decides to meet with you is not doing it for mercenary reasons. The girl that's attracted to your car is probably not the girl you're going to spend a lifetime with.<BR><BR>The advice remains the same: choose what you think will make you happy. Whichever you choose, it's not etched in stone. You can change later.<BR><br><P>&nbsp;</P><P>'Freedom' vs a relationship. The two are not necessarily mutually exclusive. You just have to find the person who thinks as you do.&nbsp; Presenting an inaccurate facade online will not do the trick.<BR><BR>&nbsp;<BR></P>

 

[dragonflyinthesky]

What Seraphim said X2 <BR>As you men get older and&nbsp;your girls get older, you will find that over the years both of your wants have changed. If still single, or married for that matter, you will be happy to have someone that treats you kindly and appreciates the little things in life you can offer them, like noticing their hair and the little lies you tell her about how good she looks and no, she isn't sagging yet and how you&nbsp;love&nbsp;her frown lines.&nbsp;A good&nbsp;woman will tell&nbsp;her own little lies to you to make you feel good about yourself and performance doesn't matter. We all grow up and grow old&nbsp;sometime.<BR>Not every date is going to end up in bliss, unfortunately for men, young women usually want kids or have kids and everyone has lots of baggage.<BR>I wish this old broad here had some good advice but I don't, other than stay home if you never want to be hurt or go out and enjoy life, even if you stumble.<BR>You will find a girl that finds your way of living exciting someday. Be honest and be kind.<BR>PS, I was shallow when young, dated a guy with a Delorean, another with a Pantera, an airplane,there were more and I have wonderful memories that will serve me well in a nursing home someday <IMG border=0 align=absMiddle src="https://vanlivingforum.com/images/boards/smilies/smile.gif">.<BR><FONT color=#ff00ff size=3><B>Dragonfly</B>&nbsp;&nbsp; <FONT color=#000000 size=2>Can't you hitch that jeep to a little tt or teardrop? Get involved in a Muddy Buddies jeep club, there are lots of girls with jeeps that love off roading and gettin' dirty. I'm involved in it because a girlfriend (50 something) has a jeep and its a blast. Their after parties are fun too.&nbsp;Just don't be suprised if their jeep is better than your jeep <IMG border=0 align=absMiddle src="https://vanlivingforum.com/images/boards/smilies/biggrin.gif"></FONT></FONT><BR><BR>

 

[cyndi]

The answer seems pretty simple to me. Get a cargo trailer your jeep can haul and convert it. (see 4x4 chevy's link for simple basic conversions, upgrade as you go)<BR><BR>as a post script... any person that was attracted by the vehicle I drove would be a total turn off. I'd be more interested in someone that found my lifestyle and living choices magnetic.<BR>

 

[templedog]

feels like I need windows. or something.

 

[Seraphim]

<p>Yes, Big - as your recent posts indicated, we know you have absolutely no interest in 'babes' LOL</p>

 

[Guest]

<b style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Disclaimer: Don't ask for opinions if you can't handle honesty.<br><br></b>First off, you asked for opinions from experienced vandwellers, and then you've argued against them. Seems you're only seeking validation and ego stroking. <br>That's Lame and it wastes the time of anyone who tries to help you.<br><br>"Chicks don't dig the van idea" &lt;-----sounds materialistic, gold diggin, and fake to me.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; I'm just sayin....... <br>If those type of chicks, who leech off you and only dig you for what you own and spend on them is your thing,&nbsp; Keep the toy car, the plastic Barbies, buy a life you already said you can't keep paying for <i>and keep paying every cent you have to maintain your "image".</i><br>Play the odds that it will all work out. If it doesn't - you're fcked. But now you're living in a box, under a bridge, starving, and still no Barbie.<br>On the other hand, ditch the play car, buy a van, prepare it, and be off. <br>Worst scenario: You hate it &amp; can't hack it, but at least you got a roof over your head, a safe place to sleep, money for food, no bills to pay, and have saved some money. You can sell the van, go back and tell the Barbies all about your 'adventure'.<br><br><span style="font-style: italic;">My</span> .02 cents - You don't have what it takes. There are men on here many years younger than you who have their priorities in order. You sir - do not. So give the "I'm still young" thing a break. You're old enough to do for yourself without whining. You already know you should be preparing and you aren't doing jack. I'll bet money that you don't vandwell until it's the last option left before a cardboard box. Maybe not even then.<br>You define your own self worth by the "image" of yourself that you're trying so expensively and <i>desperately</i> to maintain. You see your superficial world falling apart around you and you <span style="font-style: italic;">still </span>haven't done anything about it but talk, talk, talk. <br>A psychologist? Rly? You don't need anyone to point what you already know. Stop wasting everyone's time.&nbsp; You're trolling for Barbies on dating sites when you know you can't afford them anymore, instead of preparing?<br>Crap or get off the pot, dude.<br><br><b>I repeat: Don't ask for opinions if you can't handle honesty.</b><br><br>

 

[Seraphim]

Well Jerry, I never said I was not interested in "Babes" I am just not obsessed with or by them, as the poster of this thread obviously is, and also Jerry I am sorry that I am not as perfect as you are in every way, educated beyond belief and seem to know everything there is to know about everything there is to know about. I on the other hand am prone to mistakes, which I try to use as
guidelines for my future, when I realize I am wrong I shut up and listen, in order to learn.

You were being teased...

.. But I guess it's OK for you to be "be blunt", as you described yourself - as long as no one comes back on you in the same manner.

One blunt tone deserves another:

The comment about going back to the psychologist and dating her was out of line. I currently question your ability to be authoritative on anything, not only due to that remark, but others such such as your thirty five years of vague training in which you thought you were coming across as some kind of legal expert, but didn't really know what you were talking about. Then you come on to brag about all your friends in all your states and all your family and all you've got and all you can do...

Really?

If you came here to learn about van dwelling, then proceed to do so. Making sarcastic remarks about another's mental health is out of line. See to your own mote, brother.

 

[templedog]

You're right. I like the&nbsp;<span style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: left; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); ">honesty.&nbsp;</span><div><span style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: left; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); "><br></span></div><div><span style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: left; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); ">For real I just want to go fishing all the time.. but people wont let me do that either.&nbsp;</span></div>

 

[templedog]

<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 0, 0); font-family: georgia, 'bookman old style', 'palatino linotype', 'book antiqua', palatino, 'trebuchet ms', helvetica, garamond, sans-serif, arial, verdana, 'avante garde', 'century gothic', 'comic sans ms', times, 'times new roman', serif; background-color: rgb(229, 229, 221); ">A bad day of fishing is better than a good day of work.&nbsp; ~Author Unknown</span>