I'm failing at Van Dwelling

[stonebirdfarm]

That's an unsettling report. I do appreciate it, though. I'm planning to give up a very nice apartment this spring because I don't want to maintain it... the money is such a waste, especially if I won't be in it most of the time. So your report of vandwelling failure bothers me.

I don't know if, because I'm a woman, I should have a trailer or RV rather than a van. I am completely new to insulating, building, and everything involved in making a home within a van happen. However, I have some confidence I can create a nice bedroom in the space of a van, and I will have a bathroom... I think that's essential for my needs.

The issue with your spinal arthritis and needing a high roof tears at my heart. I can imagine your pain - it sounds excruciating - but more, I'm sad because most people cannot upgrade to a HR van and so many are saying that is almost essential to happy vandwelling.

Maybe vandwelling takes a bit of desperation. If people can afford to move back into s&b then leave their RVs empty in the driveway, maybe they're just not desperate enough.

I have no roots, no home town, no husband, no children with me any longer, and I have never owned real estate. I feel that I'm able to wander. I've been hoping for road trips in heaven but as it turns out, I'm able to do it right now if I give up the s&b apartment, so that's my plan. I hope I don't get out there, months from now, yearning for the good old apartment days, thinking I can't take anymore and must settle down.

My mother was a wanderer, and only stopped because of a serious medical condition.

I'm sorry you are calling it quits but it does sound like there have been an extraordinary number of difficult challenges, and I thank you for sharing your story and observations with us.

travelaround-The only person you need to please really is yourself. None of us know how well any choice we make in life will turn out. I like reading about the wins and losses as it balances my decision making. BUT, only I can determine what is the right move, at the right time, for me. Just as you expressed....you are fortunate to not have stressful ties holding you back from any adventure you choose. ...and you have your own motivations. I am an older widow who at first thought I would not like being alone traveling in my van. I was wrong...I love the peace, the opportunity to make acquaintances and the freedom to choose everything about each day.  I travel cheap, (out of necessity) so live out of the van or pitch a tent at free or cheap places. I have found that when you travel alone, everyone chats with you...often we don't realize that when we are with someone else, no one really enters into the space. But I have learned eating alone offers me local insight via the chatty waitress, the harried store clerk or the moms in the park watching their kids. You get great ideas about what to see, eat and do from locals. Someday i hope to get to the west more and join up with a 'tribe' for awhile....but right now I am in the trial stage of periodic trips while I wait for my obligations here at home to subside.
Whether RV living is for you or not doesn't get decided until you begin. I loved one of the contributors who confessed that "I grossly underestimated my  desire for creature comforts and had to move up to a fully equipped RV"....like the person who felt they 'failed' really appreciating modern bathrooms....it is all about what you value.  I am more the minimalist kind of gal who wants things simple. I don't want an RV full of dials, gauges and tanks to empty. That is not to say I won't graduate to a Class C or truck camper at some point, but for now i like the van (without a high top) as my little home, and a tent for more space when the weather allows. (tents make great bathrooms for that bucket porta potty). By the way....I outfitted a caravan not building it out etc. my stuff is stored under the stow n go seats, ready for a trip the moment I want to get up and go.
So take in all you read, watch etc. and apply it to yourself to see what might work or not.  But get out there....traveling, not matter how you do it or why you do it, opens up your mind and new possibilities.

 

[John61CT]

The only real definition of success, is the ability to spend your time & energy according to your own choices, and

spending quality time with those you choose to share your life, love and joy with.

Never mind what others think or say, create and follow your own path, and change that path, re-invent yourself as often as you like.

 

[rvwandering]

I've deleted some of the posts because of bickering. Please keep your posts respectful and on topic.

 

[LivGolden]

[font='droid sans', sans-serif]" I have found that when you travel alone, everyone chats with you...often we don't realize that when we are with someone else, no one really enters into the space. But I have learned eating alone offers me local insight via the chatty waitress, the harried store clerk or the moms in the park watching their kids. You get great ideas about what to see, eat and do from locals."[/font]



[font='droid sans', sans-serif]This is so true.... this!   [/font]

 

[travelaround]

Stonebirdfarm - that was an interesting and helpful post - also, I noticed it is your first post so... welcome to the forum. I am happy to hear that people are more willing to talk to a single traveler ... I have traveled alone only a few times. I'm very quiet around people I don't know, most of the time ... but as a single traveler I may have to get out of my shell a bit because I'm sure I will need to talk to people - and that's one of the best ways to learn about a place.

I'm thinking back now on an incident that happened in 1973. I was very young, traveling with my husband and infant, and we stopped to eat at a roadside café near Amarillo. A couple at another booth took an interest in us, and struck up a friendly conversation. That has stayed in my mind all these years - because their friendly banter was that precious to me.. we were so far from home. So, the lesson I learn from that is not to be afraid to talk to people because it may mean more than you expect.

 

[RoamerRV428]

good post John

I always say bob and weave thru life. There is no straight path, everyone must adapt/change/find their detours and bob and weave thru it all, if you do this you got it made in the shade The minute we think 'something must be perfectly like this or that' is when we get annoyed and baffled it isn't 'perfect'. Shades of grey thru life is key. Go with the flow of the river, do not swim against it. At least I keep trying to do that

 

[RoamerRV428]

TA, I am the quickie conversation type. I can only stand a little time with anyone chatting anymore. Any stops when I feel like I absolutely need social interaction, I can strike up a conversation anywhere for a short time, enjoy it, feel connected with humans, get what I need from it and go on my merry way fast and go right back to my own little world. Chatting local interests is a great way to connect a bit with others. Most love to tell ya the best place to eat or do this or that. Most of my best finds are local chat. Went to TN to hang out on a lake and kayak and fish for 2 weeks. Local told us about a dairy making cheese etc. OMG such a fun and great place. Something not advertised that we could see but it made our trip a tasty treat for sure That is all the conversation I need, point me to a good cheese farm and then I can chat up with the owners making that cheese for a bit more contact. Key being we can control our interactions as we see fit. How much we need. That is what I love about roaming the USA. Set on my terms and if you need more interaction you can surely get it when needed You will be fine And if you really need some people contact hit a campground. Heck everyone at a campground chats and at the same time it has scheduled things like bingo, maybe a happy hour meet, a BBQ festival on another day or whatever included in their activities. Finding true privacy is harder than finding ways to connect with people I think LOL

 

[Dingfelder]

I agree. Real privacy can be very hard to find. Most people who work have other people around all day, and they're rarely the type we'd pick if given the choice. And outside work, it's still common to have people depending on you, socially or otherwise. I'm pretty much a loner, and I still have to check schedules and parcel myself out among my obligations. Somebody always wants something, if just not to be alone themselves.

For those who feel too isolated, though, I strongly recommend having a dog(if you are a truly responsible and caring owner, that is.) Getting outside with your dog is good light exercise, and doing it almost guarantees some pleasant chats every day. Even some pretty grim people are likely to be friendly and helpful before bothering to put up walls or second-guess themselves about it. It dials the settings on social interaction down to easy mode for everybody. And if they still feel too high some days, at least your dog will make it clear that there must be something good about you. They look nothing if not honest, right?

 

[wanderin.pat]

^^^^What Dingfelder said^^^^

 

[wanderin.pat]

. I am happy to hear that people are more willing to talk to a single traveler ... 

Hey,

As much of a loner as I am, I am always willing to talk.  In fact, try to shut me up!  

But I do really like to spend most of my time by myself.

 

[jimindenver]

I can verify that Pat likes to talk. When we camp "together" it is a distance apart with weekly body bag checks to make sure we are both still alive.

 

[stonebirdfarm]

Stonebirdfarm - that was an interesting and helpful post - also, I noticed it is your first post so... welcome to the forum. I am happy to hear that people are more willing to talk to a single traveler ... I have traveled alone only a few times. I'm very quiet around people I don't know, most of the time ... but as a single traveler I may have to get out of my shell a bit because I'm sure I will need to talk to people - and that's one of the best ways to learn about a place.

I'm thinking back now on an incident that happened in 1973. I was very young, traveling with my husband and infant, and we stopped to eat at a roadside café near Amarillo. A couple at another booth took an interest in us, and struck up a friendly conversation. That has stayed in my mind all these years - because their friendly banter was that precious to me.. we were so far from home. So, the lesson I learn from that is not to be afraid to talk to people because it may mean more than you expect.

Thanks for the welcome....(it means a lot to a newbie!) Even though I am new to the replying/posting on the forum I read a lot of the threads....

I never thought to travel alone until I realized that if I wait for 'someone' to travel with I may never go! It was different, but oh so freeing. My life does have a lot of obligations (family and business) so to be able to consider only myself is pretty spectacular. I don't normally seek out company for company sake....but I do like getting insight to each place I l pass through.  Just asking a question is often all that is needed, because most people just generally want to be of help and will share generously. Libraries are a great place too as they usually have a bulletin board that creates a picture of the community by reading the postings. Best meals (and company) ever are fundraiser church dinners.

My hope is to stretch my van trips out farther and farther until I no longer go back to my b & m home. I am very fortunate to have a son who holds down the fort for now while he is attending college and I try out mobile living. But if he didn't live here, I would rent my home and just go for at least a year. I am not sure I will ever fall completely in love with the 'west coast follow the weather on BLM land' crowd as a permanent way of life, but nothing has to be permanent so no harm giving it a go. My favorite posts, whether positive or negative, are of peoples own experiences and what they have, or are doing.

Happy Thanksgiving!

 

[wanderin.pat]

I can verify that Pat likes to talk. When we camp "together" it is a distance apart with weekly body bag checks to make sure we are both still alive.

Thanks for the confirmation, Sir Jim of Denver!  

Hope you had a happy T'day!

 

[jimindenver]

Sir? I am not THAT old. lol

 

[wanderin.pat]

It's Nobility, not AGE! 

 

[jimindenver]

I ain't that noble either.

 

[Moxadox]

LOL

The Dire Wolfess

 

[Watch_Cowspiracy]

In response to each negative paragraph

1. Why as you bothered by this? There are all kinds of people in the world. You don't have to deal with their complaining or let it affect you in any way. The perk of this lifestyle is if you don't like your neighbors, you have a magic key that lets you change them.

2. You'll find those people in any group. Refer to 1.

3. With a GPS you never need to read a map again. Why is this on here?

4. Can't help you there without seeing your planed and actual budgets. As far as repairs go, you said you're a mechanic, so that takes care of the labor charges. And you'd also know how to purchase a solid vehicle that didn't have any major known issues. Or maybe you just had bad luck and you're the only known report of a tranny blowing up on that model or whatever. At any rate, vehicle repair costs have nothing to do with the nomadic lifestyle because you'd still have a car if you lived in an S&B. When you boondock for 14 days at a time, you end up putting fewer miles on the vehicle than the average commuter and spending more time healing in nature, which brings me to the next point. For the specific problem of the radiator, you can get this guck that you pour into the radiator and it stops the leaks. It's more of a temp fix and it is bad for the radiator but since you're getting a new one soon, that's not an issue.

5. When people are afraid of being alone, they don't realize that solitude is a powerful healing force which allows us to perform introspective mental repairs. If we fight the solitude, its power will consume us. If we embrace it, it can offer freedom and wisdom. Also, I don't really believe in "the tribe". You have to find your own friends. Forcing a bunch of people into a gathering in the desert and saying we're all friends isn't how friendships are made.

6. So get a high top. If cost is an issue, build it yourself. I've seen tons of great diy hightops and they probably cost a couple hundred bucks at most for the materials. Or trade the van for an old class C.

Some final thoughts.
If you bring a fault finding mindset into any lifestyle, you'll see and exascerbate only its faults. Indeed this fault finding mind is a major cause of depression in the western world which is why I've turned to eastern philosophy to heal my depression. Be grateful for what you have. Half of the world's human population lives on less than $2 a day.

 

[wanderin.pat]

5. When people are afraid of being alone, they don't realize that solitude is a powerful healing force which allows us to perform introspective mental repairs. If we fight the solitude, its power will consume us. If we embrace it, it can offer freedom and wisdom. Also, I don't really believe in "the tribe". You have to find your own friends. Forcing a bunch of people into a gathering in the desert and saying we're all friends isn't how friendships are made.

I so agree with this statement , but especially the underlined and bold text.

 

[lenny flank]

Whenever people call me "sir", I always tell them "I'm not a sir--I don't wear a suit and tie".