Did you make bad choices? What’s your story?

[kygreg]

I've worked for myself for the last 13 years, I'm finishing my last job and have no other work coming in. I have a choice, go work for someone else for the foreseeable future, that dream of retiring early, gone. Or....... sell the house, outfit a step van, retire early and have a grand adventure. Easy choice!

 

[LERCA]

I am really enjoying hearing people’s stories and views. Thank you!

 

[B and C]

I'll elaborate some more about choices. Before I got married, I worked as a contractor and when times were good I made a lot of money. I spent most of it on women, fast vehicles and booze. The rest I wasted on rent and food. During lean times I had to cut back to the wasting part. After I got married and we had a son, I figured the feast and famine routine wasn't good for a stable environment to raise a family. Went to work for a company paying steady wages. Borrowed for a house and car. Changed companies a few times and wound up at a utility that had a 401 and a pension when I was 40. I put very little into the 401 as paying off debt was more important to me at the time. After the debt was paid off I started putting 16% into the 401 with a 6% match. That cut in take home pay hurt. Used cars only from then on out but were still financed. After the son left the house (kids are expensive) we were able to pay the CC in full each month. The balance went up and down as various emergencies came up before the kid left. The wife was diagnosed right as I was set to retire (two months before). Shock, shock. Got a good year of traveling in because of the now IRA, pension and SS. Was not worried about what we spent and we spent a LOT doing fun stuff, balloon rides, plane rides, etc. I think the bad decision was to sell a small paid for house and buy this monstrosity house (3700 sft before addition) for the kids to move in with us to help with my wife. They help on and off for about a year to let me get out on my own. Made it to Alaska but got called back early because the kids had had enough of my wife. I drew out IRA money to add to the money from our old house sale for a down payment here. The son and dil have 4 kids so a house with at least 5 bedrooms for them was one of their requirements. I drew out more IRA money to build an addition to the house for the wife and I. These 750 sft we added cost more than our first three houses put together. The better choice would have been to stay in our paid for house and hired a couple to live in and take care of the house and wife. I would at least have some respite. Been stuck here for 20 months at this point in time. I have no sympathy for those complaining about the few short months the shelter in place orders were in effect.

Turned into a rant, oops.

 

[LERCA]

I’m sorry about your wife Brian. It’s really hard. My old next door neighbor’s wife died three days ago. She was only 68 and he took care of her for years while working full-time until it got really bad. She died right as he was going to put her in a home. She wasn’t cooperating with her doctors. I have 3 autoimmune conditions and I’m a cancer survivor which I faced alone. So I can tell you your wife is very lucky to have had you and your family. I hope it gets better for you. Hang in there.

 

[B and C]

Thanks. A nursing home is out as can't afford it (and couldn't before). 10k a month is a LOT of money! A LOT of the IRA got spent. The addition was all cash as the house wouldn't appraise in the neighborhood for that addition. This is by far the smallest space we have lived in short of the roadtrek. Our first house was 1200 sft, the second was 1550 sft and the third was 2700 sft. The paid for house was a median 2600 sft. and in a small town. I hate being in the big city. Housing is a LOT more expensive here in the suburbs than a small town. I would have built upwards as it would have been a lot cheaper but I worried over stairs.

 

[izifaddag]

IZ I’m so sorry. I hope you get food stamps in your home state. At least you can do your own build. I hope you have some support system. Sending you good vibes and strength. As far as the amount of money I live on right now it’s $659. when I can retire at 63 it will go up plus some of that is my retirement savings.
Edit: I should add that when I get my full amount of money I am considering moving to another country where I can work part-time. I have taught English overseas and was a teacher almost 30 years so I can do that plus translation/interpretation in another country and return home when I need to.

Hi LERCA,
Thanks for the kindly comments. My income is $1206 a month from Social Security. This week I got hit with medicare for the first time. Up until now I had free medical because my income is so low that I qualify under Obamacare for zero payments and full coverage. That ended this week. That added to my other things like phone, storage bay etc brought my usable income to $630 a month. So that has to cover food, gas and incidentals. I investigated food stamps once and gave up on that. 
No, the answer is to get a job again. So I am going to Jackson, Wy to try and find a seasonal job and camp out. It will be good for me. 
What bothers me is health and work. Ok, I am pretty healthy now, not perfect but good enough. However what happens when I am 75 and infirm? When I first saw Dee in Bob's first video with her it broke my heart. At the time I was a trucker and although ok was not rich. A lot of money passed through my hands but not much stuck. This is a typical trucker story. I didn't go short of anything because of the cash flow but as soon as the tap was turned off - poof.
I like living free and clear. I owe nothing and nobody owns me. 
I think once a nomad has his rig set up sensibly the expenditure largely stops. For example I am preparing for my trip to Wyoming. So I wait for my new registrations sticker for my camper and a fresh voter registration card from Texas. Then yesterday I spent $1,000 on Amazon for a battery, 2 solar panels, a charge controller, a shunt monitor and a magnetic insect screen. OUCH!
It has to be done though and once done it is over. I am also waiting for a fresh box of 12 butane refills. Consumables another fact of life  
Just like my old truck, once you have what you need, the expenditure starts to drop and drop. 
I hated the corporate world with its constant hypocrisies and serf like existence. Trucking was great but you do have to rub shoulders with some real 'delightful' people. So I am glad that is over too. 

We are the real road dwellers. Those in cars and tricked out vans. Converted cargo carriers and old school busses. The people in fancy class A motorhomes live in a different world. They will spend $75 a night to 'camp' out. 
The guys like me muddle on and are not wealthy. Unfortunately I see more and more the attempt to edge out 'us' to accommodate the RVers with a pension of $500,000 a year. One look at the Florida Keys will explain exactly what I am saying. In fact the entire state of Florida. I think before I die I will see this way of life so impinged upon, so marginalized that it will become just a memory. That is really a sad thought.
When you cannot even burn dropped timber around you in a forest and have to buy firewood something is very, very wrong. That is the case in Canada. Haul your wood in or buy it from the office. Don't you dare touch those fallen trees. 
Now it is a choice but already it is forced on many. Soon it will be a privilege. Best wishes LERCA and I am sorry for the tragedy that darkened your life.

 

[izifaddag]

Thanks.  A nursing home is out as can't afford it (and couldn't before).  10k a month is a LOT of money!  A LOT of the IRA got spent.  The addition was all cash as the house wouldn't appraise in the neighborhood for that addition.  This is by far the smallest space we have lived in short of the roadtrek.  Our first house was 1200 sft, the second was 1550 sft and the third was 2700 sft.  The paid for house was a median 2600 sft. and in a small town.  I hate being in the big city.  Housing is a LOT more expensive here in the suburbs than a small town.  I would have built upwards as it would have been a lot cheaper but I worried over stairs.

I can relate to that post. I lived in South Florida for a couple of decades. March or die. It is so expensive to live there you had better have a very good income.

 

[izifaddag]

I'll elaborate some more about choices.  Before I got married, I worked as a contractor and when times were good I made a lot of money.  I spent most of it on women, fast vehicles and booze.  The rest I wasted on rent and food.  During lean times I had to cut back to the wasting part.  After I got married and we had a son, I figured the feast and famine routine wasn't good for a stable environment to raise a family.  Went to work for a company paying steady wages.  Borrowed for a house and car.  Changed companies a few times and wound up at a utility that had a 401 and a pension when I was 40.  I put very little into the 401 as paying off debt was more important to me at the time.  After the debt was paid off I started putting 16% into the 401 with a 6% match.  That cut in take home pay hurt.  Used cars only from then on out but were still financed.  After the son left the house (kids are expensive) we were able to pay the CC in full each month.  The balance went up and down as various emergencies came up before the kid left.  The wife was diagnosed right as I was set to retire (two months before).  Shock, shock.  Got a good year of traveling in because of the now IRA, pension and SS.  Was not worried about what we spent and we spent a LOT doing fun stuff, balloon rides, plane rides, etc.  I think the bad decision was to sell a small paid for house and buy this monstrosity house (3700 sft before addition) for the kids to move in with us to help with my wife.  They help on and off for about a year to let me get out on my own.  Made it to Alaska but got called back early because the kids had had enough of my wife.  I drew out IRA money to add to the money from our old house sale for a down payment here.  The son and dil have 4 kids so a house with at least 5 bedrooms for them was one of their requirements.  I drew out more IRA money to build an addition to the house for the wife and I.  These 750 sft we added cost more than our first three houses put together.  The better choice would have been to stay in our paid for house and hired a couple to live in and take care of the house and wife.  I would at least have some respite.  Been stuck here for 20 months at this point in time.  I have no sympathy for those complaining about the few short months the shelter in place orders were in effect. 

Turned into a rant, oops.

I feel for you, really I do. The last bit about the sheltering in place is also so true. I have been stuck here for over a year. Well over. You see people moaning about 3 months at home.

 

[bullfrog]

I have been really fortunate as far as the decisions I have made during my life but because of that I always worry knowing I'm due to make many really bad mistakes. I guess it helps to feel this way as it makes you really aware when you see that others are having so many problems that really are not obvious bad decisions but more like fate. I have 3 children and living in the middle of the poverty belt it took every bit of income, family and credit to keep them fed and a roof over our heads. In fact it took more as the youngest one turned 18 years old we went bankrupt. Fortunately we had enough equity in the house to sell it just before the housing crash in the early 2000s to pay for my service time where I worked to get a pension and buy an old motor home. We were able to workamp and travel for a few years, work at minimum wage jobs and get by. Once we found good seasonal jobs it got better and later my wife got a permanent job with health insurance much better but we got to travel less. When I turned 62 I took early social security which enabled us to take more time off to travel more and life has been great. My mother and father need care about the time my oldest son (a nurse) and his family needed a house so that worked out well as he now has a house after caring for them. My father pasted and my mother is disabled badly (mentally) enough that she now is living in a nursing home. Once my wife reaches full social security age and gets a small government pension we should be in great shape until our bodies medically give out, and that is the worry. My youngest daughter is also a nurse and with my middle son live close to where we stay over the winter months. My daughter-in-law works at a near by assisted living facility which gives discounts to family members. There are also Escapees parks and private RV parks with yearly rates around $4,000 a year. Even though we hopefully are 5 years or so away from having to make up our minds I can see us making some big mistakes but I'm not too worried as fate usually changes our plans and hopefully for the better. I guess what I'm trying to say is just look for and be open to any and all possibilities out there and hope fate smiles on you. Many of the bad choices are made because we think we only have bad choices to choose from. Keep looking and thinking and do the best you can with what you have. Stay safe during the virus and best wishes.

 

[crofter]

.... mother is disabled badly (mentally) enough that she now is living in a nursing home....

Can you describe this process? I hope I will not, but as the adult decision maker, I may have to do this.

Did you ever consider taking your mom on the road with you?

Description: link to ebook "The Last Road Trip"
https://play.google.com/store/books...EzgQ2p7qMSg8VpMrdBQaAueeEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds

-crofter

 

[GypsyJan]

izifaddag:

Florida has Water Management campsites (cheap and some are free). You go on line to register for your stay. Some require registration a week in advance. There are time limits (a week or two, I believe) and blackout dates in hunting season. There are no hookups or amenities; usually just a port a potty, so you have to bring everything in with you and pack it all out when you go. But it would make winters in Florida possible. Summers I plan to camp near the Great Lakes using National parks and forests. I get a 50% discount there using the America the Beautiful pass. I will also use truck stops and Walmarts when traveling in between campgrounds.

 

[izifaddag]

I am aware of the water management sites in Florida. Most of them require months in advance booking. For example Dupuis and Hickory Hammock. 5 days is the limit and they check. In the north there is, for example, the east and west tower sites. Both are free but 7 days maximum. All the mosquitoes you can eat.
Generally you cannot just roll up to these places. Camping in Walmarts in Florida is very hit and miss, mostly miss.
I am sorry but although Florida is possible it is not an easy place to spend the winter. If anybody plans on that then I suggest starting to work out a round robin right now and book. In a couple of months they will be full for next winter.
I shall be heading to Arizona as it is much easier. I don't want to stay in Mississippi again. It is ok, the temperature isn't a lot different to Arizona but I think Q will be much more fun.
Florida only wants people with a bunch of money. Even no hook up boondocking there can easily cost $10 to $15 a night.  If a Golden Pass can be brought to bear it would be much easier but I am not sure if they take it. 
I lived in Florida for 25 years. Remember that old song "they paved paradise, put up a parking lot"? That is Florida.      
Your plan of the great lakes is a much better plan. Well, for the summer anyway. I want the work so it is Jackson for me but I was thinking of Wisconsin on Lake Superior for the summer too.

 

[Tony's Dream]

As the saying goes...…..the choices we make dictate the live we lead. I was one of those people who played the game...….did my military time and retired....doing my federal employee time and will soon retire...….bought the house, investigated a retirement plan, married well, and basically did all the right things. If I end up in a van, it will be by choice. Unfortunately my wife does not share my desire for the nomad life style so we are working out a plan where I will nomad part time alone. Life is good.

 

[LERCA]

Brian, Iz (ever listen to Brudda Iz btw?) Bullfrog,
I read your posts several times. They just hurt to read. Bullfrog I have to say I agree it’s somehow fate or just bad luck rather than choice. And people think you can prepare and control and you can’t. Dee and some others were hard videos to watch. I appreciate the respect Bob shows everyone and how he lets them tell their stories no judgement.
A lot of it is health. If you physically can work you are beyond lucky. From $1200 to $600 is awful. I’d like to think that maybe this will lead to a tribe of people looking after each other. After I read the book Nomadland I felt a lot more hopeful.

My brother who is autistic and developmentally disabled and my mother in the early stages of Parkinson’s dementia (and incontinent) there is no way either of them could go on the road. The level of care (and comfort) they require would never work in a small space away from all they know. Plus medical care, both need pretty serious and on-going care. I can’t imagine it. AND the same questions every 10 seconds. I just have a visual of all of us and my chunky little Pit Bull crammed into a tiny RV. I’d have to take up blackout drinking.

One thing I try and remind myself is that things change and just like they went downhill they can get better. Crazy things happen.

 

[bullfrog]

My mother was born and raised on our family farm which had been in her large family for generations. Her home was built 100 feet from where she was born. My father while he was alive attempted to get her to move to assisted living when he became wheel chair bound pretty much as they needed assistance. She refused to go and refused to allow outside help to come into her house. When it became apparent that the state could eventually cause her to leave they formed a trust. My father and mother gave me power of attorney as my dad realized he would most likely not out live my mother and she was unable to deal with the financial and legal problems. The only requirement was she be allowed to stay in the home as long as reasonably possible. She had several strokes and falls but refused care after recovering enough to walk and feed herself. She had injured her brain to a point that was worst than anyone realized and had a major stroke but still refused to go to the hospital but my son that by then was living with her convinced her to go. That saved her life but due to the previous unknown damage she ended up in rehab and eventually a nursing home when she didn't improve enough to be at home even with assistance. She is 92 and improving enough she can walk by herself but her mind continues to decline. I can not help but think she would have not had the falls and injuries if she would have gone to the safer environment of assisted living but this is what has resulted due to her insistence she stay in her home as long as possible. It is a sad state of affairs.

 

[bullfrog]

Something to consider is Escapees Care in Livingston Texas as well as what I call "old man jobs" like driving a shuttle or dispatcher. Also sometimes there are volunteer jobs that furnish a free site. I never knew I could get a free site by roasting marshmallows, painting rocks and telling stories.

 

[izifaddag]

Brian, Iz (ever listen to Brudda Iz btw?) Bullfrog,
I read your posts several times. They just hurt to read. Bullfrog I have to say I agree it’s somehow fate or just bad luck rather than choice. And people think you can prepare and control and you can’t. Dee and some others were hard videos to watch. I appreciate the respect Bob shows everyone and how he lets them tell their stories no judgement.
A lot of it is health. If you physically can work you are beyond lucky. From $1200 to $600 is awful. I’d like to think that maybe this will lead to a tribe of people looking after each other.  After I read the book Nomadland I felt a lot more hopeful.

Well I don't know who Brudda Iz is. Yes the money is a blow. I calculated that if I live to age 90 I can withdraw $200 a month from savings. Not a great idea. I'll get a job. That is the reality for most people I think. Those healthy white haired handsome people you see on insurance company ads do not exist. Golf and wine parties? I don't think so.
I have looked into how this finishes several times now and I think I have it cornered. Terrible health and lack of money will determine it. I get to choose when, where and how. It is not scary anymore and depression or such doesn't figure into it. 
Meanwhile I will work. 
When I was trucking I brought some agricultural product down from Saskatoon. I had multiple stops but the one that really made an impression on me was off 90 in some tiny town. It was a rundown greenhouse and run by some very old German or Austrian gentleman and his wife. He was a very small man and about 85. I said what on earth are you doing working. He said he didn't make enough SS combined even with his wife for them to survive. So they ran this little business in the middle of nowhere. It left an impression on me. Never forgot. 
The ultimate choices we all have to make privately.

 

[LERCA]

Iz-Israel Kamakawiwo’ole. He has the most beautiful voice. (Growing up in a SoCal beach town in the 70’s you learn some Hawaiian Pidgin) Anyway if you have time you should listen to him on YouTube.

I can’t tell you not to do what you’re saying because I feel the same. Funny it hurts to hear someone else say it though. Tried it and failed (almost made it once) so even if the cancer returns I’ll have to go through it but if you can work for some years you will be ok. I believe that. And the only wise thing my mother told me was we don’t know what happens day to day.

Anyway if you don’t mind I’ll stop in and say hi once in a while. And I’m trying to type with a straight face but Bullfrog’s old man jobs sound pretty darn good.
Bullfrog I learned too that sometimes the professionals do a better job than we expect and it’s simply too much for one person to take care of when they have a staff.
Sofi how lucky you are to have learned from your life. That’s why even when I was young I preferred people older than me. (I’m probably older than you now)For some with age come peace and wisdom and sounds like you got it.

So I’m not hearing bad choices I’m hearing life and how people work hard all their lives. I’m never going to let some idiot upset me again when I have all these people on this site who are such gentle, compassionate people who “get” it.

 

[GntlStone]

Iz-Israel Kamakawiwo’ole. He has the most beautiful voice.

Was he the one Google featured with the Doodle a few weeks ago? Singing "Somewhere over the Rainbow"?
3:48 OFFICIAL Somewhere over the Rainbow - Israel "IZ" Kamakawiwoʻole YouTube

Amazing voice, makes me cry every time....

 

[LERCA]

That’s him. He has the sweetest voice and his Hawaiian songs are beautiful. No one can compare.