Did you make bad choices? What’s your story?

[LERCA]

Huh? My post was about choices in response to someone who posted that we were a bunch of losers who had made bad life choices and ended up here. I did everything right except getting sick and thank the Goddess I have a pension about like Iz’s and a nice sum of money saved over 30 plus years for retirement I just can’t touch any of it yet except the 1/2 pension.

So I asked for people’s stories. Nothing to do with mental states.

 

[RoamerRV428]

Someone posted on here that those of us in cars etc had made bad choices. 

If you’re a true nomad not a weekend holiday traveler was this a choice?

Almost a nomad but a big weekend warrior and more time, all we can get, for travel.  Travel bug for me and hubby.

Very good read in this thread!!

I think we did everything right to suit us and got alot lucky at times and we will be in an rv when we travel and 'sell it all' to do just that.  We won't want any tie downs but we sure will have an exit plan if required when the time comes and we can only hope that goes as we want  :huh:  

I think the 'bad choices' this person eludes to could easily more about not a bad choice, but millions of us are just hit by financial or medical diagnosis and just '**** hits the fan scenarios' where can one recover? like massive natural disasters, job losses and more.   Our choices change as the situations change.  You know, a bad choice could be made cause we are forced fast into that decision thru other circumstances we encounter in our lives?  Darn right it happens that way for most.  Alot is out of our control while a bunch can be in our control but thru emotional times and hard situations we are faced with, do those choices we take finish as great or bad in the long run?  I mean who knows about life right?  We try our darn best to control it as we want but we really almost have no control if life decides to slap us very hard.

Thing is it truly is so personal ya know.....you see a small older van with people living in it on the road and 'what are their circumstances'.....you will never know unless they tell you cause that person could have more money than ya ever would imagine and how they are living and what they are living in is exactly by their choice. 

Judgement made on what we see and never know further info about almost always misses the mark to me.

We will be by choice.  We made good and bad decisions in life but in the end we muddled thru it all to put us kinda in a good position going into old age and all that travel we want with no tie downs.   Will that happen?  Fate and destiny will just kick in and let us know if what we planned for will happen I guess  

We all just make do.  Do our best.  Try to hit certain goals we want.  And it is what it is for most of us and not much can change it all ya know. 

Forget the fast judging idiots of this world   one day they may be in the exact position they are judging and boy, then their tunes change fast!!   Walk a mile in my shoes right?

 

[Nutball]

I loved living as a nomad on federal lands and doing seasonal work for most of my adult life, but I let other people’s opinions get to me. I went to college intending to get a vocational certificate and long (15 years!) story, I just finished my master’s degree. I racked up considerable student debt in the process and now there isn’t a chance in hell that I can pay it off before I die (I went back as a “non-traditional” older student.) I’m hardly the only one who has the burden of student loan debt, and I see a lot of SoCal folks traveling up to Smoky Bear lands to save some bucks and live like I did happily when I was debt-free. I intentionally didn’t buy a nice vehicle because if my student loans go into default, my home will be confiscated. NO nice transit van for me. You want my old truck? Hahahahaha. Seriously, I have plans for an ebike trailer for when I can’t afford gas or repairs.

 

[BobBski]

Very interesting and enlightening thread. My story?? I’ve been out here in a Hightop Transit, bought new in 2016 and did a self build.

I was married 42 years, my best friend passed in 2015. The last 6 years she became ill and bedridden. I retired and took care of her. We had been saving and working towards doing what I’m now doing since our mid 20s. In her last days she made me promise to continue our dream. In fact, she made me go out and buy our Transit so she could see it. She was very happy and I felt very guilty.

We bought and sold a few houses, I spent 20 years in the Army then 22 years as a cross country truck driver. I gave one of our granddaughters our last house, it was mortgage free. Over the years we always lived well without our means and lived off my military retirement and saved/invested, mainly in no risk high rate CDs, my truck driving salary.

Tammy’s and a couple of our pets ashes are in the van with us (me and 2 almost 15 year old same litter sister chihuahuas).

Not wealthy but debt free and don’t worry about money. A lot of friends say I’m lucky...I say we worked hard and didn’t compete with the Joneses.

I travel a lot and stay in free campsites. Think I’ve stayed in motel 2 nights and maybe paid for 10 nights in a campground in the last 4 years, come this August.

We love the lifestyle for so many reasons and often get asked by family and friends if I’m tired of it yet. My reply is, what’s there to be tired of. Life is good and at 67 don’t see an end in sight.

I truly wish everyone here the best. Take care.

 

[txmnjim]

this has been a pretty enlightening thread. i guess we are "where we are" due to our choices
but alas life has a way of occurring with or without our consent. i try to think of how fortunate
i am compared to others, and it helps. attitude of gratitude they say! i am still many years away
from retirement, if i'm ever able to actually retire, so i just keep hope alive and try and pay off any
and all debt as i'm sure this vanlife dream will not tolerate much debt. i wanted to just thank all who
shared and wish everyone the best of luck. your stories and experiences are valued.
jim

 

[ckelly78z]

I would love top be a nomad, but I need to keep a job with good health insurance (lots of issues with maintenance chemo, and a pace maker). In the meantime, I have been able to save a big amount for a comfortable retirement, and will have a 28 year pension also. We have our home base that is our paid off 10 acre farm, and currently run a weekend warrior 32' travel trailer with a big slideout, behind our diesel Excursion. I would like to get something smaller, to do more extended traveling when I retire, and to get into tighter spaces, and offroad areas.

Upon reflection, we have made pretty good choices in our 32 years of marriage, but it is really more about meeting responsibilities, and doing what needed to be done rather than what we WANTED to do.

If something should happen to my wife, I most likely would give the farm to my daughter, and go full time.

 

[Nutball]

Upon reflection, we have made pretty good choices in our 32 years of marriage, but it is really more about meeting responsibilities, and doing what needed to be done rather than what we WANTED to do.

My mother had on a cheap plastic thing in her kitchen that said something along the lines of, “Before you judge someone, walk a mile in their shoes.” That’s what I thought this thread originally was all about. 

I can’t say that she believed it. My parents were dirt poor kids during the Great Depression and did all of the junk that was expected of them. My mother hated being a parent, and resented that she helped my father through college but couldn’t go herself. My father joked about wanting to own a gas station in an area where he liked to camp, rather than work in SoCal as an engineer earning enough to be considered a “responsible” father. He died before he had the chance to enjoy retirement. My mother used to claim that she was happier as a kid when she had practically nothing than as an adult. Both were fortunate to come of age during a brief period when the US economy served the needs of (well, some) working folks, but their “good” choices and “responsibility” did not make them happy. Even if that plan had worked, those days are gone and gen-z-ers know it- they can make all of the “right” decisions, but in so many ways their future is tough, very tough.

There’s another saying, “For the grace of God go I.” I’m no believer, but I know there’s truth in that.

 

[PossibleNomad]

I'm about to go on the road. It's 100% a choice. I'd like to go full time, but I'm going in with the intention of giving it 3-6 months to see if it's really something I'll enjoy and can manage. So in a few months I'll either be renting a place and selling the van or I'll stay on the road. I sense I'll be staying on the road, but I don't want to force it if I go out and find it's not for me.

I have enough saved that I can handle a few emergencies and/or live at least 2 years without working at all (but that's not my intention.) After I feel settled, I'll be looking for remote work and I'm starting an online business. There are a ton of remote jobs on flexjobs, upwork, etc. So all that to say, for me it's a choice. I've always had itchy feet and I want to see more of the country, especially if I'm going to buy a home.

 

[GypsyJan]

giving it 3-6 months

Another option is to wait til the 6 months is up, then renew the option another 6 months before deciding...LOL, that's what my parents did re the marriage contract....they renewed it every 6 months for 46 years til Mom passed.

 

[nature lover]

Have I made bad choices? “Let me count the ways.” I have had so many jobs with dead ends. I had had four career paths in quite different fields and the little jobs in between, I made huge mistakes with money, wife, and children. Some of these “ very poor” choices were rooted in bipolar disorder and abuse when a child; but those roots were nurtured, watered and cultivated by me. My way of getting peace with my soul was my first van conversion and the freedom it gave me to escape into the “forest therapy”. Now that my heath is shot and I spent a year in an old folks home I have made one very good decision - I am full timing in a converted conversion van - I won’t bore you with any more of the story. But with my home on wheels if I make another bad decision I can drive away from it. What was the thing that Bob quoted from Mark Twain? something like in 20 years you will have more regrets about what you decided not do than what you decided to do. Something like that. And getting out of this hospital after a week and back on the road again is one of the best decisions I made. Of course it looks like seven straight days of rain for us here on the East Coast right now but I don’t make decisions about the weather so I just live with it.

 

[Nutball]

And getting out of this hospital after a week and back on the road again is one of the best decisions I made. 

Good for you for pulling through this and living your life on your own terms! I hope that your health continues to improve and you are able to travel safely and in peace. Please be careful. It applies to everyone, but especially those of us who have significant health problems, this covid junk is no joke.
I can't help but remind myself of the Jeffersonian part of the Constitution that we've almost forgotten now that Hamiltonian ideals are celebrated, you know, that part about our right to "...life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness."
I want to live that Jeffersonian ideal while I'm still able to. And for anyone who reads this thread and is depressed at the idea that they feel forced into this kind of life and don't have the luxury of choosing and enjoying it, know that there is freedom in this way of living that you might not have known before. Don't be hard on yourself or listen to anyone who wants you to think less of yourself for your social and economic status. Your life is precious inherently, not because of "right" or "wrong" decisions. We are humans; enough said.

 

[George Mason]

I haven't read all the posts, just the first couple of pages. For me this is definitely a choice. I have skill of Appliance repairman and I used to be a mechanic. I could easily be working full-time living in the Sticks and Bricks and still be unhappy as hell. I let the ex-wife have the house the kids college is all paid for, and I just want my freedom back. Life has taught me that you cannot own stuff, stuff owns you. The more stuff you have, the Less free you are

 

[rvwandering]

This thread is not about homelessness. I have deleted the latest posts for that reason. Please stay on topic and keep the original poster's question in mind. Thanks!

"Someone posted on here that those of us in cars etc had made bad choices. I certainly didn’t. I am writing this with love and compassion so please don’t argue and get it taken down. I’d like to hear your stories. Is this a choice or did something happen? ..... If you’re a true nomad not a weekend holiday traveler was this a choice?"

 

[1shemp]

Just sold the house and buying a motorhome.Looking for more land to build on.Hope I'm not making a bad choice.

 

[Qxxx]

As a counterbalance, someone should start a thread called "Did you make good choices? What’s your story?". I would if I could but I can't.

 

[winterwanderer]

Dropped out of college in May 2014, spent the next eight months working and saving to buy my Ford Explorer. Hit the road in February 2015, with $800 in the bank and no idea of how I was gonna make this work. 

Was this a bad choice? Nobody I met along the way seemed to think so. Cops, preachers, little old church ladies, the sundry settled folk of small town America...all bestowed approbation and encouragement, and a good number showed generous hospitality as well. 

True, some folks encouraged me to complete my college degree in due time, but none belittled or shamed me for wandering around in unemployed idleness. Why was this the case, when so many folks report being subjected to harsh criticism for living the selfsame lifestyle? 

IMO, the reason is simple: at the time, I accepted others as they were, and they did the same for me. Whereas in recent years I have become strongly judgmental of mainstream society, and have paid the price in ostracism and isolation.

 

[bullfrog]

Your not alone, most of us have. Not much of what we do seems normal to mainstream society and therefore wrong.

 

[LERCA]

I just read recently that 40 million Americans are at risk of losing their homes and apartments. At this point choices no longer matter. Some compassion is needed. Not expecting help (would love to see tiny home communities across the country) but a little gentle kindness and compassion would be nice. It’s getting sad and scary out there and I don’t know what it will be like by January. We are tightly locked down supposedly till then.
Nomadic life is not for everyone because many of us are physically unable to do the work necessary to keep vehicles on the road and others don’t know how. Some have both problems. Anyway I started this thread because of an ugly comment and now I’m thinking that was a luxury (being judgmental). We’re facing difficult times. Appreciate all the knowledge shared and help offered.

 

[JuanKnucklehead]

I made a lot of bad choices in life, If it was ugly I prolly seen it, I lived on the streets in my youth, But I straightened out, been clean going on 20 years, went and had a family, ive always been a rebel, but ive toed the line (barely)  I got hurt, now i am disabled, but ive done everything proper and by the books, now through no fault of my own i will 50/50 lose my lease come Feb, if not this year, next for sure (even my apt manager is fighting for me),,,I dont have a choice as i see it, I wont go into any other housing complex in my area, I am only here because its close to my children, anywhere else us unacceptable, my van is better,,,I know how to be "Homeless" I know the rules, i know how it is, I know the game,, So to me with my experience, A 4 month head start (hopefully ill get to stay another year)  a very dependable van. I am good, I can do this and not kill me like it has others,,,,My biggest problem is I have to base out of Oklahoma for a min of 4 more years & oklahoma is NOT van friendly

 

[Steveb.]

Juan I sent you a PM, I think/hope...if I did it right?