being kind and calming fears

[twokniveskatie]

<div>uh, your description of me went south with the "sane" part&nbsp;<img border="0" align="absmiddle" src="https://vanlivingforum.com/images/boards/smilies/crazy.gif"></div><div><br></div><div>dude, i joined that forum after you mentioned it awhile back. whoa. huge and very scary. fun to read, and great info, when i get time to go there.&nbsp;</div><div><br></div><div>computer keys are sticking from the drool, though.</div><div><br></div>

Agreed - katie is wonderfully... uh, <i>moderate</i>... moderator. Reasonable, sane, civil though I hope the job doesn't cause this lovely woman too much stress. I moderate on a *large* knife/bladesmith board. I declined the job on a regional gun forum. Being a moderator can quickly suck the entertainment out of a forum for ya.<br>

 

[twokniveskatie]

<div>okay, so i've been taking a look at this whole thing, and i have been seriously wrong about a few things.&nbsp;</div><div><br></div><div>as i said, this group belongs to all of us. i'm just kind of a glorified (i do love glory) chimney sweep who tries not to be bossy.&nbsp;</div><div><br></div><div>pretty big fail on this one.</div><div><br></div><div>when i started the gun thread i really did want to have an informational exchange about guns, no debate to sidetrack us. &nbsp;which in itself is okay. what was not okay was to completely exclude someone else's story.</div><div><br></div><div>on CRVL we are all about our stories. they are what make us real. every story is as important as the next.&nbsp;</div><div><br></div><div>i shut down some of you guys who have a different story than mine. when i was doing it, i absolutely didn't see what i was doing.</div><div><br></div><div>i'm sorry to the group, and especially to Bri.</div><div><br></div><div>Brian and i have been very good friends for what seems like forever. we've traveled and camped and shared so much of ourselves. i love him dearly.</div><div><br></div><div>when it comes to the gun thing, i've gotten my knickers twisted a bit over our differences of opinion. i lost sight of what really mattered.&nbsp;</div><div><br></div><div>Bri has a different approach to safety and guns and dealing with what the universe hands you. a story he has carved out of his life experiences, just as my story is.i really do respect that story, despite how i've acted. i wonder how many others have similar stories? i hope it's not too late to find out.</div><div><br></div><div>Bri and i have been talking off-list, but i felt it was important to make amends here on the list, because it is not just Bri who was affected, but the whole group, regardless of our stance on guns.&nbsp;</div><div><br></div><div>the gun thread is officially open to everyone's stories. if topic veers off to much, we'll decide as a group how to handle it. just be nice to each other, cause Bob said so......</div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div>

just wanted to say here that i've been having some discussions pertaining to the concern about some feeling excluded in the gun discussion.&nbsp;<div><br></div><div>these are valid concerns.&nbsp;</div><div><br></div><div>the whole censorship issue has been highlighted in the last few days by all three of the "hotspots" that have cropped up.&nbsp;</div><div><br></div><div>someone was confronted about their interactions and how they made the group feel uncomfortable. i have been accused of censorship.</div><div><br></div><div>someone posted some concerns about safety and a sampling of rules that bothered many people. i have been accused of not censoring her.</div><div><br></div><div>people made clear their feelings about that particular set of rules, and all rules in general. i certainly did not censor that.</div><div><br></div><div>it is felt i censored a thread in a way that excluded people. i am seriously taking a look at that.........</div><div>i am saying here that i am not sure i am right in the stance i have taken. i am taking a look at that.&nbsp;</div><div>this group belongs to all of us. if i am not living up to that, i want to know.</div><div><br></div><div>i am alarmed at the number of people talking of leaving.&nbsp;</div><div><br></div><div>talk to me, please.</div><div><br></div><div>kate</div><div><br></div><div><br></div>

 

[twokniveskatie]

i don't think we could use your kind of smileys anyhow. there is a little code that i want to show you when i get time to fool around with it...maybe you will recognize it or know how to steer me to the right place....<div><br></div><div>maybe tomorrow i''l send you a PM that shows you what i found. tonight i'm busy prying my mukluk outta my mouth....<br><div><b><font size="1">&nbsp;<br>[/quote]</font></b></div><div><b><font size="1"></font></b>&nbsp;</div><div><b><font size="1">i would always want to help ....</font></b></div><div>&nbsp;</div>[/quote]</div>

 

[twokniveskatie]

<div>Sweet Mike- if we pool our pennies we could by north america<img border="0" align="absmiddle" src="https://vanlivingforum.com/images/boards/smilies/idea.gif"></div><div><br></div><div>thank-you for this post. i re-read it several times because of the "share their stories" part. it helped me sort it all out.&nbsp;</div><div><br></div><div>love you!</div><div><br></div>

<div>We are all human and are often prone to reading things into comments that aren't there and over reacting. If I had a penny for every time I did it, I could buy us all a small island to hang out on! On that note, I wasn't confused by any of your posts. &nbsp;</div><div><br></div><div>I hope no one is serious about leaving either. There is a great range of personalities here as well as experience! I hope everyone continues to share their stories and opinions. Especially in a forum format like this, skipping the ones that aren't cared for or agreed with is so easily done.&nbsp;</div>

 

[Guest]

when i started the gun thread i really did want to have an informational exchange about guns, no debate to sidetrack us.&nbsp; which in itself is okay. what was not okay was to completely exclude someone else's story.<br>Brian and i have been very good friends for what seems like forever. we've traveled and camped and shared so much of ourselves. i love him dearly.<br>Bri has a different approach to safety and guns and dealing with what the universe hands you. a story he has carved out of his life experiences, just as my story is.i really do respect that story, despite how i've acted. i wonder how many others have similar stories? i hope it's not too late to find out.<br>Bri and i have been talking off-list, but i felt it was important to make amends here on the list, because it is not just Bri who was affected, but the whole group, regardless of our stance on guns. <br>

<br><br>I love you my Katie Sister! So to respond I am going to just say that I have nothing to say on the Firearms thread and will leave well enough alone. I have absolutely no intention to change anyones mind about carrying a firearm or to pass judgment on anyone who chooses that tool in their life for whatever reason.<br><br>My only beef was that I was not feeling free when someone asked me a direct question about whether or not to carry&nbsp; or keep a firearm, to tell me views on it. I do not keep a firearm in my vehicle nor will I and I have deeply felt moral and ethical reasons for that choice. At 67 years old and with my experience, which includes being a combat veteran, years in Alaska with many moose and bear encounters, living everywhere from inner city to bush, years of vehicle living experience, having to carry a gun for a job and being schooled on the ramifications of that and the use of it....and tons of travel in third world countries with many human encounters counts for what I believe to be a reasoned and valid decision about it.<br><br>I will only share that when asked and I now feel that I can in the appropriate thread without having someone with a fraction of my experience tell me I am wrong about that choice.<br><br>That said....I don't feel a need to outline my views without an appropriate conversation for context.<br><br>I am also going to take a break from my involvement here just to center my self and pay more attention to other areas of interest in my life. I am not leaving the group nor stepping back with anger...I am just needing to focus on things that are more important to me today..<br><br>After a recent experience where I was able to give a sweet lady cancer patient a sidecar ride to help her cross the second thing off her "bucket list", I realized I need a bucket list and the trip this winter around Mexico on my sidecar rig is the first cross-off on that list. The second thing requires me to stay healthy and make it to 70 when my wife retires and she suggested&nbsp; a moto trip to Panama. I am thrilled about that.<br><br>I need to not be around discussions of weapon carry, etc. which I believe are rooted in one fear or another and concentrate on conversations with world travelers who have gotten past or don't have those fears. It would be crippling for travel in potentially violent areas to be afraid to travel without a weapon. (I come from a personal history of fear, I know it well and it is only in the last 10 years of the 29 years I have been sober &amp; clean,&nbsp; I have been given a freedom from it by my Creator)<br><br>So&nbsp; folks....I will look in once in a while and keep up on things, maintain contact with you all on the Vandwellers forum and hope to be able to make it to the RTR....<br><br>Travel well.....<br>Bri<br><br>

 

[Butternut]

<br><br>I am also going to take a break from my involvement here just to center my self and pay more attention to other areas of interest in my life. I am not leaving the group nor stepping back with anger...I am just needing to focus on things that are more important to me today..<br><br>After a recent experience where I was able to give a sweet lady cancer patient a sidecar ride to help her cross the second thing off her "bucket list", I realized I need a bucket list and the trip this winter around Mexico on my sidecar rig is the first cross-off on that list. The second thing requires me to stay healthy and make it to 70 when my wife retires and she suggested&nbsp; a moto trip to Panama. I am thrilled about that.<br><br>So&nbsp; folks....I will look in once in a while and keep up on things, maintain contact with you all on the Vandwellers forum and hope to be able to make it to the RTR....<br><br>Travel well.....<br>Bri<br><br>

<br><br><font size="3"><font face="Courier">Don't stay away too long, your input has been invaluable. Good luck, sounds like your heading towards great adventures.</font></font><br>

 

[Stillwater]

All individuals are the sum of their experiences - a gumbo of unique ingredients giving each of us our own flavor. There are many things you and I have in common, Bri, and a handful we don't. Never, ever misunderstand that as long as we treat one another with respect - without disparaging words or assumptions - that I wouldn't appreciate your diversity and value.<br><br>Heck, my wife and I have polar viewpoints about many things - coming from a radically different set of experiences before we were together. It doesn't mean she is not still my best friend, lover and person I wanted to share birth and child rearing with. <br><br>My wife's aunt and uncle, along with a single bank teller, were murdered execution style in a roadside bank annex in the SouthEast several years ago. She cannot watch violent movies, be around the firing of guns or certainly carry one herself. <br><br>Again, we are all a product of our experiences. While I can't help but initially bristle with assumptive phrases like "<span id="post_message_1269890660">gotten past or don't have those fears," I'll accept that - since you're only in your own shoes - you can only describe what you have felt or perceived from your own unique background and leave it in peace.</span><br><br>I'll miss your postings and am still way jealous of the sidecar!<br><br>Looking forward to your return,<br>S<br><br><br>

 

[karl]

Your a good man BK- Respectfully wishing you abundance on your path.<br><br>Edit:<br>upon posting, it occurred to me that I wish that for several members, especially for those who strive for honesty, most notably in this thread -2KK.<br>

 

[Guest]

Ooof, I just got an email telling me how out of line I was in my last post...jeez does this stuff ever end? <br><br>First thank you for the good words and thoughts and in PM's words his forgiveness for causing a little bristle (which I do understand) I am a bit blunt and a very, very imperfect hooman bean!<br><br>Anyway,&nbsp; my post was meant to be an explanation of why I was laying low. It still is but if ANYONE got excited by my talking about fear or whatever, please....it was not about you, it was about me and why I carried a gun whether it was in my running and gunning drug fiend days or in my workaday job being responsible in remote Alaska for a large quantity of gold and diamonds...it is ME...not you, I relate to guns from a fear based place and I cannot understand a reason to carry a gun except for protection which to me in my warped mind, relates to FEAR of being harmed! FOR ME. Not for you...you may do your meditation armed, you may go help at the soup kitchen armed, you may go to church armed...I don't know, I don't care and I am only talking about ME!<br><br>I was never so damn relieved when I lost some fear and was able to trade three untraceable handguns for an old British motorbike and get on with my slowly becoming less paranoid life.<br><br>Am I being judgmental....yeah I probably am and it is only the kind of judgments we all make countless times during the day about where we want to be, who we want to hang out with, what we want to talk about and how we want to spend our time.<br><br>I don't think world travelers are a more advanced being...what I do know after having met many of them is they are rarely from the US and when we meet, they are often leery about coming here because everyone carries a gun when people don't in most areas of the world....these folks are not subjected to the constant fear mongering of the media that keeps us thinking the universe&nbsp; is out to get us....<br><br>That's it, they travel freely and without the baggage we carry here.<br>I envy that and strive to join them...and I am pretty good at it now. I always wish to go&nbsp; forward in my growth, whether it is spiritual or emotional or in physical health, Creator knows I need it in every area.<br><br>May you walk with your Creator,<br>Bri<br><br>

 

[Stillwater]

You're all right, Bri. It's difficult to have the correct inflection over the 'net that is obvious during a face to face discussion. (Forgiveness was nothing I was going for - you've made no personal affront to me and I'm not in a position to forgive or be disgruntled - I was only going for open conversation.)<br><br>When it all comes down to it, we each have to walk in our own shoes and own up to our own decisions. There are few examples of purely right or wrong and a whole lot of gray. Take care of yourself, stay in touch and don't let this stuff get to you.<br><br>

 

[twokniveskatie]

Ooof, I just got an email telling me how out of line I was in my last post...jeez does this stuff ever end? <br>

<div><br></div><div>this is way out of line and is one of the things that can get someone banned from here.&nbsp;</div><div><br></div><div>it is inappropriate to contact someone off-list and tell them they were "out of line".&nbsp;</div><div><br></div><div>taking steps now to rectify this.......</div><div><br></div><div><br></div>

 

[dragonflyinthesky]

<P><B>Bri-with Butternut on this, keep tabs, I'm a 57 yo youngster that needs all the help and advice she can get.&nbsp; Shouldn't admit it but the 'little words' from you experienced&nbsp;folks who are always there to help anyone out. I have come to depend a little (a lot)&nbsp;on this forum.&nbsp;</B></P><B>Katie-double thumbs up, you can't please all the people all the time, pleasing me should be enough.<IMG border=0 align=absMiddle src="https://vanlivingforum.com/images/boards/smilies/love.gif"><BR>Dragonfly-diane<BR></B><BR>

 

[sl1966]

I'd prefer it if you stuck around Bri for all of the above reasons but mainly because I think the worst of this storm is now passing. I do understand the priority shift and sometimes, in life, we just can't get to everything we want to.<div><br></div><div><br>Steve</div><div><br></div>

 

[VanTramp]

Hey Bri, Keep the inflection, intent stuff in mind when you read my last post on VDG to you <img src="/images/boards/smilies/smile.gif" border="0" align="absmiddle"> Trust me, I understand it being hard to get feelings across and hope for all the world they are taken the right way. I have been doing my best to stay out of most conversations online, partly because of time and having other stuff more pressing, but mostly because I often screw up the wording and end up having people angry with me.&nbsp;<div><br></div><div>I hope you don't stay away or get too quiet, your participation always improves the community. We definitely don't always have to agree on everything all the time!&nbsp;</div><div><br></div><div>Paddling Man is so much better with words than I am, I may just start saying "what he said".&nbsp;</div><div><br></div><div><br></div>

 

[VanTramp]

<div>Sweet Mike- if we pool our pennies we could by north america<img border="0" align="absmiddle" src="https://vanlivingforum.com/images/boards/smilies/idea.gif"></div><div><br></div><div>thank-you for this post. i re-read it several times because of the "share their stories" part. it helped me sort it all out.&nbsp;</div><div><br></div><div>love you!</div><div>

</div><div><br></div><div>After my yakking today, I am sure that includes both the US and Canada!&nbsp;</div><div><br></div><div>Thank You! Seriously, every time I see you "moderating" here, I am impressed with how well you handle it. You are definitely perfect for the job! Keep it up <img src="/images/boards/smilies/smile.gif" border="0" align="absmiddle"> Even if it means I will have to be the one generating the pennies for our fund...</div><div><br></div><div>Love you too!</div>

 

[Stillwater]

Vantramp:

<span id="post_message_1269894987">Paddling Man is so much better with words than I am, I may just start saying "what he said".</span>

<br><br>Oh, *THIS* could be fun! <img src="/images/boards/smilies/wink.gif" border="0" align="absmiddle"><br><br>

 

[4x4tour]

Bri, <br><br>There goes my fill unit!&nbsp; <img src="https://vanlivingforum.com/images/boards/smilies/frown.gif" align="absmiddle" border="0">&nbsp;&nbsp; Clear that head and get back asap, brother...<br><br>

 

[stude53]

Hey, Bri<br><br>Two things:<br><br>1) Love your ride, MadMax!!!<br>2) We are all sometimes misunderstood. Just keep posting here. You are appreciated.<br><br>Bob (aka stude53)<br>