How to disagree - Essay - not mine

Van Living Forum

Help Support Van Living Forum:

This site may earn a commission from merchant affiliate links, including eBay, Amazon, and others.

Wabbit

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 26, 2015
Messages
2,030
Reaction score
14
Thought this was an informative, simple, and interesting read.
Copy\pasta from...
http://www.paulgraham.com/disagree.html

START------------

"The web is turning writing into a conversation. Twenty years ago, writers wrote and readers read. The web lets readers respond, and increasingly they do—in comment threads, on forums, and in their own blog posts.

Many who respond to something disagree with it. That's to be expected. Agreeing tends to motivate people less than disagreeing. And when you agree there's less to say. You could expand on something the author said, but he has probably already explored the most interesting implications. When you disagree you're entering territory he may not have explored.

The result is there's a lot more disagreeing going on, especially measured by the word. That doesn't mean people are getting angrier. The structural change in the way we communicate is enough to account for it. But though it's not anger that's driving the increase in disagreement, there's a danger that the increase in disagreement will make people angrier. Particularly online, where it's easy to say things you'd never say face to face.

If we're all going to be disagreeing more, we should be careful to do it well. What does it mean to disagree well? Most readers can tell the difference between mere name-calling and a carefully reasoned refutation, but I think it would help to put names on the intermediate stages. So here's an attempt at a disagreement hierarchy:

DH0. Name-calling.

This is the lowest form of disagreement, and probably also the most common. We've all seen comments like this:

   u r a fag!!!!!!!!!!

But it's important to realize that more articulate name-calling has just as little weight. A comment like

   The author is a self-important dilettante.

is really nothing more than a pretentious version of "u r a fag."

DH1. Ad Hominem.

An ad hominem attack is not quite as weak as mere name-calling. It might actually carry some weight. For example, if a senator wrote an article saying senators' salaries should be increased, one could respond:

   Of course he would say that. He's a senator.

This wouldn't refute the author's argument, but it may at least be relevant to the case. It's still a very weak form of disagreement, though. If there's something wrong with the senator's argument, you should say what it is; and if there isn't, what difference does it make that he's a senator?

Saying that an author lacks the authority to write about a topic is a variant of ad hominem—and a particularly useless sort, because good ideas often come from outsiders. The question is whether the author is correct or not. If his lack of authority caused him to make mistakes, point those out. And if it didn't, it's not a problem.

DH2. Responding to Tone.

The next level up we start to see responses to the writing, rather than the writer. The lowest form of these is to disagree with the author's tone. E.g.

   I can't believe the author dismisses intelligent design in such a cavalier fashion.

Though better than attacking the author, this is still a weak form of disagreement. It matters much more whether the author is wrong or right than what his tone is. Especially since tone is so hard to judge. Someone who has a chip on their shoulder about some topic might be offended by a tone that to other readers seemed neutral.

So if the worst thing you can say about something is to criticize its tone, you're not saying much. Is the author flippant, but correct? Better that than grave and wrong. And if the author is incorrect somewhere, say where.

DH3. Contradiction.

In this stage we finally get responses to what was said, rather than how or by whom. The lowest form of response to an argument is simply to state the opposing case, with little or no supporting evidence.

This is often combined with DH2 statements, as in:

   I can't believe the author dismisses intelligent design in such a cavalier fashion. Intelligent design is a legitimate scientific theory.

Contradiction can sometimes have some weight. Sometimes merely seeing the opposing case stated explicitly is enough to see that it's right. But usually evidence will help.

DH4. Counterargument.

At level 4 we reach the first form of convincing disagreement: counterargument. Forms up to this point can usually be ignored as proving nothing. Counterargument might prove something. The problem is, it's hard to say exactly what.

Counterargument is contradiction plus reasoning and/or evidence. When aimed squarely at the original argument, it can be convincing. But unfortunately it's common for counterarguments to be aimed at something slightly different. More often than not, two people arguing passionately about something are actually arguing about two different things. Sometimes they even agree with one another, but are so caught up in their squabble they don't realize it.

There could be a legitimate reason for arguing against something slightly different from what the original author said: when you feel they missed the heart of the matter. But when you do that, you should say explicitly you're doing it.

DH5. Refutation.

The most convincing form of disagreement is refutation. It's also the rarest, because it's the most work. Indeed, the disagreement hierarchy forms a kind of pyramid, in the sense that the higher you go the fewer instances you find.

To refute someone you probably have to quote them. You have to find a "smoking gun," a passage in whatever you disagree with that you feel is mistaken, and then explain why it's mistaken. If you can't find an actual quote to disagree with, you may be arguing with a straw man.

While refutation generally entails quoting, quoting doesn't necessarily imply refutation. Some writers quote parts of things they disagree with to give the appearance of legitimate refutation, then follow with a response as low as DH3 or even DH0.

DH6. Refuting the Central Point.

The force of a refutation depends on what you refute. The most powerful form of disagreement is to refute someone's central point.

Even as high as DH5 we still sometimes see deliberate dishonesty, as when someone picks out minor points of an argument and refutes those. Sometimes the spirit in which this is done makes it more of a sophisticated form of ad hominem than actual refutation. For example, correcting someone's grammar, or harping on minor mistakes in names or numbers. Unless the opposing argument actually depends on such things, the only purpose of correcting them is to discredit one's opponent.

Truly refuting something requires one to refute its central point, or at least one of them. And that means one has to commit explicitly to what the central point is. So a truly effective refutation would look like:

   The author's main point seems to be x. As he says:

       <quotation>

   But this is wrong for the following reasons...

The quotation you point out as mistaken need not be the actual statement of the author's main point. It's enough to refute something it depends upon.

What It Means

Now we have a way of classifying forms of disagreement. What good is it? One thing the disagreement hierarchy doesn't give us is a way of picking a winner. DH levels merely describe the form of a statement, not whether it's correct. A DH6 response could still be completely mistaken.

But while DH levels don't set a lower bound on the convincingness of a reply, they do set an upper bound. A DH6 response might be unconvincing, but a DH2 or lower response is always unconvincing.

The most obvious advantage of classifying the forms of disagreement is that it will help people to evaluate what they read. In particular, it will help them to see through intellectually dishonest arguments. An eloquent speaker or writer can give the impression of vanquishing an opponent merely by using forceful words. In fact that is probably the defining quality of a demagogue. By giving names to the different forms of disagreement, we give critical readers a pin for popping such balloons.

Such labels may help writers too. Most intellectual dishonesty is unintentional. Someone arguing against the tone of something he disagrees with may believe he's really saying something. Zooming out and seeing his current position on the disagreement hierarchy may inspire him to try moving up to counterargument or refutation.

But the greatest benefit of disagreeing well is not just that it will make conversations better, but that it will make the people who have them happier. If you study conversations, you find there is a lot more meanness down in DH1 than up in DH6. You don't have to be mean when you have a real point to make. In fact, you don't want to. If you have something real to say, being mean just gets in the way.

If moving up the disagreement hierarchy makes people less mean, that will make most of them happier. Most people don't really enjoy being mean; they do it because they can't help it."

(Author note)
Thanks to Trevor Blackwell and Jessica Livingston for reading drafts of this.

------------END


This was copy\pasta so hopefully formatted correctly. Link at top leads to exact same text if formatting off.
 
I've been disagreeing with disagreeable things for so long now I'm beginning to disagree with the things I disagreed with in the first place.
 
Thanks x2 Douglas. That was an interesting read!
 
Hi Wabbit,
Thank you for sharing this, & also Douglas :) communications on the internet (limited to mostly words seen on a screen) are easier... to understand... beginning with Intent when also we have met & become familiar with & befriending the person aside their written words, do you Agree ?
 
^^That sounds about right Annie. Meeting people and having a face to face with them can really help humanize them!
 
re "humanize" - did you mean some interactions could be done by a non-sentient robot? - am fooled too easy :rolleyes:

Mostly choose believing & think I am interacting... with another :heart: Kind-hearted soul

Also as that article is quite long, maybe a discussion about points might be helpful, agreed ?
 
Wabbit said:
^^That sounds about right Annie. Meeting people and having a face to face with them can really help humanize them!
Hi Wabbit,

on the other hand, I have experienced face to face encounters, where especially when a beginning Friendship... (understood to be reciprocal),
quickly turned into "I need yadda, yadda, & ... , & you Annie are soo good with this, that, & the other thing, so go do -whatever- right this minute !"
AND
because of the underlying awareness that "I am NOT GOD, so I can't do EVERYthing. Yet I can do some things, & so
via God's Grace, the few things I can do I will give it my :heart:  best to share...+ contribute".

And before I know it, I find myself in the thick of another OUT of control "project".
Meaning they did not, or would not control themself. - so tho someone is human, does not mean EVERYthing stays A-okay, Know what I mean ?
 
^^^I have the privilege of a rowdy past. For whatever reason, I could not see past myself. It's not that I treated people horribly, it was more along the lines of not seeing the same human value in them that I saw in myself. I was more important. My feelings mattered more. I was the injured party. It didn't even occur to me that they might be feeling the same way. My rationalization skills were through the roof followed closely by my justification skills. I didn't consciously fool myself, but that doesn't change the fact that I fooled myself.

I do know what you mean Annie. I was one of those people, not out of malice, but out of an abundance of ignorance. I now try to keep in mind that everyone I interact with is a human just like me. No better and no worse. I do try and treat people how I would like to be treated. I rarely take things personal anymore, I remind myself that I made a lot of decisions in life based on ignorance, not malice.

I'm still ignorant of what I don't know and that stinks lol, but I remind myself of that and try not to jump to conclusions when dealing with what may upset me.
 
Hi Wabbit,
re your "My rationalization skills were through the roof followed closely by my justification skills."
that sorta struck me as funny. Forgive me.

So by what means........ did you do all such ^ sorts ^ of thinking ?

Asking because when I taught various human Development classes, such as the "46+ phenomenal SKILLS of tiny/preschool children"
I had participants Naturally FOCUS on all the HEALTHY qualities we were Created with,
(iow they had NO time to think about crap). - We shared so much FUN, we laughed... ourselves right into "Be-cause I LOVE me, I can LOVE others too".

What do you think of such methods ?, & ways of Interacting...  Do you Agree, Wabbit ?
 
I think if the lessons lead to, because I love me I can love others too, that's really great. How do you temper that message of loving others with the concept that there are people who might use this kindness against them? Does that make sense?
 
Hi Wabbit,

Forgive me for forgetting one more thing.
Most of us were taught: "Treat people how I would like to be treated." - but that often does not work well.
why ?
Because EACH human is a UNIQUE Individual, true. - Such that how *you* want to be treated, could be
Different, from how other UNIQUE Individual wants to be treated.

Does this make Sense, Wabbit ?
 
Yes it does. Made me chuckle a bit reading that. Even though I like people to be direct with me, it doesn't mean they have the same appreciation for bluntness that I do. Trying to be "diplomatic" is not an easy skill to learn if you don't have much experience practicing it. At least it's not for me, although I am learning.

I try to keep in mind to be constructive and supportive. If I can't do that, I try to let it go. If I can't do that, then I have to be OK with being destructive and obstructive. At times, I still find myself being destructive and obstructive, but it's getting better and when I do mess up, I try to apologize. I do not like apologizing so it's a good stick to help me toe the line. :cool:
 
On other unrelated news, disagreeing, refuting, ad hominem, ad rem, contradicting and counterarguing, etc., with another member on this forum is strongly discouraged - if not downright forbidden - and punished by wrist slapping, severe scolding, and even deletion of all your prose.
In extreme cases you can end up exiled in remote islands in the middle of the Pacific.

Therefore I suggest you pay close attention to
rule  #2:
Any response to someone else's post should make them feel glad they are part of this forum community.

So, kumbaya my friends, kumbaya.
 
Remote islands in the Pacific???? I’m IN!
 
Top