You Ain't Right Club
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GotSmart
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rvpopeye said:
OK. It is a Pirate joke.
[font=Verdana, Arial, sans-serif][font=verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]This is a story about a pirate crew who had been happily pillageing together for years. The only friction in their crew was the first mates habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke.[/font][/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, sans-serif][font=verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]The noise would wake his crew and the smell would make their eyes water and make them gasp for air.[/font][/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, sans-serif][font=verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]Every morning they would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making them sick. He told her he couldn't stop and that it was perfectly natural. they told him to see a doctor. They were concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.[/font][/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, sans-serif][font=verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]The years went by and he continued to rip them out! Then one Thanksgiving morning as the cook was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was below, in his hammock sound asleep, Cookie looked at the bowl where he had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a malicious thought came to him[/font][/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, sans-serif][font=verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]He took the bowl and went below decks where the first mate was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the blanket, he pulled back the waistband of his pants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into them.[/font][/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, sans-serif][font=verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]Some time later the crew heard the mate waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the head.[/font][/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, sans-serif][font=verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]The cook could hardly control himself as he rolled on the floor laughing, tears in his eyes! After years of torture he reckoned he had got him back pretty good.[/font][/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, sans-serif][font=verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]About twenty minutes later, the first mate came above deck in his bloodstained pants with a look of horror on his face.[/font][/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, sans-serif][font=verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]Cookie bit his lip as he asked him what was the matter. He said, "Matey, you were right. All these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you.[/font][/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, sans-serif][font=verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]"What do you mean?" asked the cook.[/font][/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, sans-serif][font=verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]"Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened. But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and these two fingers, I think I got them all back in.[/font][/font]
ARRRGH. it be a Pirate tale fer ye!
Scott7022
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ARRRHHHHHH!!
I heard from the edge of the bar. Am I hearing things I thought?
ARRRRGGHHHR!
No, there it was again. A Pirate call, in Russia on Speak like a pirate day.
Arrrrgggrrr!!
Slightly quite, but still there, gently pulling me, drunk from my chair.
What could this be, a specter of Rv, ARRGHing me off my drunken chair?
I stumbled walking, never fair, and thought I should have stayed upon my chair.
Instead of investigating what could not be there. RV Russian pirate
Never fair.
The bathroom empty, and soundless found, empty of pirates
devoid of sound
The janitor closet ajar I see, and through the crack an ARRRRRR
My pirate found at last, the sound and now I had to see.
Doused in white stark light, I saw a horrid site.
Dimitri sitting, shitting in the mop bucket and now for all to see.
Lost in drink and song, he was completly foregone and flushing the handle
would so sing the English pirate song
ARRRRRRRG
I heard from the edge of the bar. Am I hearing things I thought?
ARRRRGGHHHR!
No, there it was again. A Pirate call, in Russia on Speak like a pirate day.
Arrrrgggrrr!!
Slightly quite, but still there, gently pulling me, drunk from my chair.
What could this be, a specter of Rv, ARRGHing me off my drunken chair?
I stumbled walking, never fair, and thought I should have stayed upon my chair.
Instead of investigating what could not be there. RV Russian pirate
Never fair.
The bathroom empty, and soundless found, empty of pirates
devoid of sound
The janitor closet ajar I see, and through the crack an ARRRRRR
My pirate found at last, the sound and now I had to see.
Doused in white stark light, I saw a horrid site.
Dimitri sitting, shitting in the mop bucket and now for all to see.
Lost in drink and song, he was completly foregone and flushing the handle
would so sing the English pirate song
ARRRRRRRG
rvpopeye
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Before we get too far away from this and forget these high honors......
I know , the Badgernator would have more appropriate comments.
Hopefully he will add them later when he has more time.
Mud Bug
For your REALLY crappy story , the coveted Flying Manure Spreader.
bathes in root beer
For thinking you even slightly belonged on a pogo stick , another "Stinkin' Badge"
View attachment 15530
T W O h s ,,,,P. O.
I know , the Badgernator would have more appropriate comments.
Hopefully he will add them later when he has more time.
Mud Bug
For your REALLY crappy story , the coveted Flying Manure Spreader.
bathes in root beer
For thinking you even slightly belonged on a pogo stick , another "Stinkin' Badge"
View attachment 15530
T W O h s ,,,,P. O.
Attachments
GotSmart
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rvpopeye said:
MUDBUG!
For the post that is so not right that not even the Poop Eyed Pie~Rat dares to copy it. And even more, for getting it past HE WHO MUST NOT BE MENTIONED, I, The Badgenator Award you The Flying Manure Spreader. Also, as a two for, Your own Stinkin Badge. We, that aint right in the head, salute you.
(She Who Must Not Be Angered requires a speech.)
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rvpopeye
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Thank you Badgernator !
I just didn't want to read it again !
(I noticed you didn't copy it either)
But I suppose it WOULD be the "Ain't Right" thing to do so.......
(I'd really prefer not to but "Ain't Right" rules seem to require it!)
I'm undecided if Queen should be inducted as well for bringing it all up in the first place ????
Oh , hell yeah !
Queen , welcome aboard the YARC ! "Stinkin' Badge" confirmed !
(08-12-2017, 02:23 PM)Queen Wrote:
When I was a rookie firefighter one of the crap jobs was fire extinguisher inspection... 2000 of them all over campus (it was actually a good job to teach us the buildings). I was staring at my clipboard when I was inspection at the Vet Med building, saw my door and the note that the extinguisher was right behind the door. I swiveled into the room and started working on the extinguisher and heard a weird sucking sort of sound behind me; slowly turned around and there was a row of horse backsides facing me with a row of vet students standing behind them up to their armpits in the back end of the horses. Jaw pretty much dropped, quickly finished my work and bolted, felt bad for the horses.
Here is sushidog's (Mud Bug's) response to Queen's post....................
I've got the T-shirt - and the green ring stain around my bicep. It's why I'm not a vet today. When palpating cattle for AI (artificial insemination) work your disposable glove goes over your entire arm, half way up your bicep. Unfortunately you usually have to go 3/4 the way up your arm (into the cow's anus) to guide the straw with semen inserted in the cow's vagina into the cervix. To add insult to injury, usually when you are all the way in the cow decides it's time to "go," as I'm sure your entire arm feel like a full load to Ms. Bessy. As you can imagine, the only thing you can do is turn your head, as you are too far into things (literally and figuratively) to pull out. Cow poo stain is like indelible ink that refuses to wash off - it must wear off. So if you see a rancher or vet with a green ring around the top of their arm, you know what they've been doing. BTW, it doesn't pay nearly enough.
Chip (Mud Bug YARC)
I was really hoping that post had been deleted , but no such luck!
If anyone disputes this doesn't deserve a "Flying Manure Spreader" speak now.
T W O h s,,,,P. O.
I just didn't want to read it again !
(I noticed you didn't copy it either)
But I suppose it WOULD be the "Ain't Right" thing to do so.......
(I'd really prefer not to but "Ain't Right" rules seem to require it!)
I'm undecided if Queen should be inducted as well for bringing it all up in the first place ????
Oh , hell yeah !
Queen , welcome aboard the YARC ! "Stinkin' Badge" confirmed !
(08-12-2017, 02:23 PM)Queen Wrote:
When I was a rookie firefighter one of the crap jobs was fire extinguisher inspection... 2000 of them all over campus (it was actually a good job to teach us the buildings). I was staring at my clipboard when I was inspection at the Vet Med building, saw my door and the note that the extinguisher was right behind the door. I swiveled into the room and started working on the extinguisher and heard a weird sucking sort of sound behind me; slowly turned around and there was a row of horse backsides facing me with a row of vet students standing behind them up to their armpits in the back end of the horses. Jaw pretty much dropped, quickly finished my work and bolted, felt bad for the horses.
Here is sushidog's (Mud Bug's) response to Queen's post....................
I've got the T-shirt - and the green ring stain around my bicep. It's why I'm not a vet today. When palpating cattle for AI (artificial insemination) work your disposable glove goes over your entire arm, half way up your bicep. Unfortunately you usually have to go 3/4 the way up your arm (into the cow's anus) to guide the straw with semen inserted in the cow's vagina into the cervix. To add insult to injury, usually when you are all the way in the cow decides it's time to "go," as I'm sure your entire arm feel like a full load to Ms. Bessy. As you can imagine, the only thing you can do is turn your head, as you are too far into things (literally and figuratively) to pull out. Cow poo stain is like indelible ink that refuses to wash off - it must wear off. So if you see a rancher or vet with a green ring around the top of their arm, you know what they've been doing. BTW, it doesn't pay nearly enough.
Chip (Mud Bug YARC)
I was really hoping that post had been deleted , but no such luck!
If anyone disputes this doesn't deserve a "Flying Manure Spreader" speak now.
T W O h s,,,,P. O.
rvpopeye
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Queen
For your post of inspiration to Mud Bug causing the story posted above I hereby issue your "Stinkin' Badge" !
(PM cammalu (The Nominator) your mailing addy if you would like a non digital one !)
View attachment 15590
And Mud Bug
I have decided to add a further award just because it seemed to apply.
The fabled "Cat Ass Trophy" !!!!
It kind of expresses my feelings of your description..............
(I'm sure you can figure out some "use" for it !)
You both will of course be suitably impressed and post an acceptance per "She Who Must Be Obeyed" desire.....
T W O h s,,,,P. O.
For your post of inspiration to Mud Bug causing the story posted above I hereby issue your "Stinkin' Badge" !
(PM cammalu (The Nominator) your mailing addy if you would like a non digital one !)
View attachment 15590
And Mud Bug
I have decided to add a further award just because it seemed to apply.
The fabled "Cat Ass Trophy" !!!!
It kind of expresses my feelings of your description..............
(I'm sure you can figure out some "use" for it !)
You both will of course be suitably impressed and post an acceptance per "She Who Must Be Obeyed" desire.....
T W O h s,,,,P. O.
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GotSmart
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The Badginator has been sidelined by a Toocheapa computer. The power pack had issues and rejected the magical smoke that feeds it. I will never buy that brand ever again. 
So in this case Pirate Eye did the right thing.
HMMMM. That ain't the purpose of this thread. So, what penalty do you give yourself? :dodgy: WO?
Queen. For living a life that is filled with the wierdly acceptable public displays of the bovine reproduction practices, (poor cows) and telling the world about it. Thus inspiring a first hand version that leaves a picture that is hard to erase from the mind I, The Badginator confirm your STINKIN BADGE.
Just be glad you did not show up for the class on collection. I overheard one of my sisters tell a friend about that experience. :blush:
So in this case Pirate Eye did the right thing. HMMMM. That ain't the purpose of this thread. So, what penalty do you give yourself? :dodgy: WO?
Queen. For living a life that is filled with the wierdly acceptable public displays of the bovine reproduction practices, (poor cows) and telling the world about it. Thus inspiring a first hand version that leaves a picture that is hard to erase from the mind I, The Badginator confirm your STINKIN BADGE.
Just be glad you did not show up for the class on collection. I overheard one of my sisters tell a friend about that experience. :blush:
jimindenver
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After reading that I gotta tell you
Y'ALL AINT RIGHT!!
Y'ALL AINT RIGHT!!
