The end of the road...

[cpal]

What does one do to plan for the eventual decline of health\death while on the road?

For those who have jettisoned all ties to civilization, sold the house, and hit the bricks; what are the plans for when it comes to an end?...does one simply find a nice spot for the closing curtain? 

If you are full timing it, sold your home and lost all connections with a "civilized" society,  what if any are your plans to come off the road? Do you find an apartment, fall on the tender mercies of nursing home?...

I feel like my end will be that of "breaking Bad" where death is just a moment away for mike and he tells Walter...."shut up Walter and just let me die in peace". (I hope my end is peaceful  and not predicated via a gunshot wound.)

 

[John61CT]

This 'lost all connections with a "civilized" society' idea is very odd.

Living mobile does not mean that to me at all, not like I'm moving to a desert island or a cave in the Himalayas.

Connections to family and friends are critical to a good life, isolating yourself a very poor choice.

Make your plans, and then work hard to ensure a strong community of people is there to help implement them when the time comes.

Personally I want my bones left somewhere the vultures can pick them clean. Or burial at sea.

 

[cpal]

john, thanks for your reply. What I meant by the civilized society, was the mortgage on the home, 9-5, non stop commercialism, etc. I agree that we are nothing if we don't have connections with others. I couldn't imagine a life with the comfort of an email from a friend, an invitation from a family member and the good things that make us human.

I over think things a lot...much to my detriment at times...

 

[GotSmart]

I made more connections on the road than ever.  Due to health, I am back in a S & B   with much less junk.  I just know I have more options. 

Arlo Guthrie ang many versions of the garden song.  This is my favorite ending.

If I should die before I wake,
All my bone and sinew take
Put me in the compost pile
To decompose me for a while.

Worms, water, sun will have their way,
Returning me to common clay
All that I am will feed the trees
And little fishes in the seas.

When radishes and corn you munch,
You may be having me for lunch
And then excrete me with a grin,
Chortling, "There goes Lee again."

'Twill be my happiest destiny
To die and live eternally.

 

[MrNoodly]

I told my family and friends several years ago that I will end my life when I get to the point I can't live on my own terms. I don't want to face years of physical and mental decline and dependency. So I'll send a farewell email, go out in the boonies somewhere, and pull the trigger.

 

[WalkaboutTed]

Hubby and I have discussed this at length. I've already been in the situation where I've had a motorized chair and walker, and another time with a broken foot which impaired my mobility greatly. As an RN doing chromic condition management, I saw too often people having to change their lives based on becoming disabled in some way. Too many people lose independence (and impractical houses and apartments) because they can no longer ambulate up stairs and across other barriers.

We've done so much traveling and at this point, we really don't see an arbitrary end point. Since there is the two of us, we have a little more flexibility. I've already claimed dibs on being the first to go, so DH will have to do what works for him (seriously, though, we have have 4 kids who have already said that they will help us if we were to need it).

With the likely scenario of limited mobility causing a barrier to van living, we've already decided that when we get tired of, or are unable to live/travel in the van, we will get a toy hauler. That way we can stay in our home and continue to travel. With a toy hauler ramp, we can use a scooter, wheelchair, walker or other assistive devices. And if needed, we could even roll a hospital bed up the ramp. If using a hospital bed, we would have to stay put until the immobile one croaks. Assisted suicide is the choice if I become incontinent. I will not have my children changing my diapers.

So our plans are: 1) traveling and living in the van until it doesn't work anymore, 2) get a toy hauler (with all the electric options to make things easier), and 3), like anyone else at that point, cross that bridge when we get to it. What's that phrase? I think it's like "Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans".
Ted

 

[user 37446]

Tough question, may not garner a lot of replies as most young folk don't even consider their eventual demise, and older folk are often afraid to think about it and try to "push the thoughts off/ignore the topic". Kudos to WalkaboutTed for commenting as she did.

If you look at some trailer parks you may find older rv's that are no longer roadworthy, being lived in by a senior who cannot drive anymore and is just living out their last days. That's one of the sadder endings, yet the oft-mentioned "I will go live with one of my kids" is no panacea either, a neighbor has a younger (68) sister who had 4 kids, none of them want anything to do with her, so she exists ina run down trailer park in LA.

While many would like to simply have some medical event that quickly takes their life while camping out on N Forest land or BLM property, its not real likely. Yes you can choose to end your own life, that's always a possibility.

This is a tough topic and for the forum members who are getting "up there" or with chronic or terminal medical conditions it certainly is an issue that's coming. I wish I had an answer...

 

[Optimistic Paranoid]

A particularly tough topic for those of us with furry companions.  Die suddenly in the middle of nowhere and the odds are your buddy, locked in with you, is going to have a slow, agonizing death.  One advantage of sticks and bricks is that there are agencies that will call your phone daily, and come check on you if you don't answer.  It may be too late for you, but your buddy will be saved.

 

[WalkaboutTed]

Hey Optimistic,
Just make sure your pet has plenty of water and if you die, he'll have multiple meals. Humans make great chew toys.
Ted

 

[caretaker]

OP, don't worry about the furry one if you die with fuzzy locked in the car with you the last problem he will have is "finding enough to eat" I'm sure he will find enough "just laying around" to eat for at least a week.

 

[Spaceman Spiff]

A particularly tough topic for those of us with furry companions.  Die suddenly in the middle of nowhere and the odds are your buddy, locked in with you, is going to have a slow, agonizing death.

That was one of my reasons for getting an inReach personal emergency beacon.  I text my family with my location and that I am OK every night.  Two nights of no text and the SAR people will be looking for me.

 -- Spiff

 

[Optimistic Paranoid]

I'm pretty sure that if the authorities discover a pet that's been eating a human corpse, they will destroy it rather than put it in a shelter.

 

[user 37446]

Not being a current pet owner, I never thought of that angle. Makes sense though that the pet could suffer...and that's not good. Not all pets are carnivores, your bird or whatever is the same. Besides, whose to say that your pet wasn't outside and has to go feral... the lifespan of feral dogs and cats is pretty short.

That personal beacon idea is a good thought if you are getting older. Thanks for the information.

 

[Lj Unlimited]

I have pondered this a time or two. In a perfect world, I would go suddenly. With my boots on (not my work boots). Preferably while out exploring the woods or waters. I accepted my mortality back when I was still a teenager. Being free of this fear/worry has inspired me to live life to the fullest on my own terms. I also know that someday I will not be as physically capable to get out and do the things that give me pleasure. I will cross that bridge when I get to it. But after watching my dad wither away and die over a two year period, I know I do not want to go out like that. He was completely miserable for the last 8 months of his life. If I even think I am approaching that stage I might just have to invoke article 44.

 

[cpal]

Thank you all for your thoughts...I have been looking ahead a bit and was curious what folks thought. I apologize if I stepped on anyone's toes...not the intention.

I plan on enjpying the ride as far as it goes. I am alone except for my wee cat. My little sheltie, belle passed a couple of weeks ago, so I was unhappily reminded that sorrows are never too far away and they visit us all eventually.

 

[user 37446]

N offense anywhere I dont believe... its a topic that few will think of and fewer want to discuss. It does bring to mind the appropriateness of having some legal will, and instructions outlining what to do with you. Even though "you" wont care, someone else always has to clean up what's left behind. 

Now if this was a boating forum, likely they'd just say to open the seacocks or whatever the scuttling valves are called... few or no traces...

 

[eDJ_]

I think it is a good subject to discuss.  As we live our lives whether as Digital Nomads, (connected to each other by the innerweb) or in the Sticks & Bricks (connected face to face or by phone) we will tend to live like we are to some extent running a business.   And any business plan needs to contain an exit strategy. 

Thus the topics we see so commonly here about overcoming fears to go on the road and when we come to the end of the line.  Nobody plans to fail,  they just fail to plan. 

So we should have something recorded, notarized, and even on file with our Lawyers who will handle our last trappings and estate.   Next,  if we don't die in our boots,  and have to convalesce somewhere,  we should have some idea of how we will go about it.  

Emily Dickinson once wrote in a poem,  "Because I could not stop for death, he kindly stopped for me".

I've read some good points made in this thread.  Those who are married ending up in the last phase of the "family life cycle" being in the world alone and having to decide whether to continue or just will themselves to
death.  Others may have a pet as a companion who may be lost without  them.  (where the pet has been used to have been loved and treated more like a person & member of the family).   And then there are those of us who live single and take our chances in life.

A friend of mine suggested using an app called MojoPack installed on a jump drive (using a password) to contain anything secure that would be on one's computer.  Thus if you were found dead by someone they couldn't go to your Laptop and hunt for what they may exploit for financial gains.   I don't know about the best security for one's Cell as these are generally on one's person.  Having info on a cloud with a password
may protect what's valuable.   PIN numbers on credit cards/bank accounts.   I mention this for those who live single.  Death may not come by natural causes. 

I think it's important to keep in mind living simple without too much "stuff" in one's possession when living on the road.  So when one comes to the end of their road there won't be much to dispose of.  With a "Will" in place and recorded the transition of your remains to the next life and your estate to your heirs may be more simple. 

A lot of people are now choosing to donate their bodies to University Medical Departments.  When they are finished with the remains they will take care of the final internment.  Your heirs may have a funeral service for you without any expenses of your last rites.  (my Grandparents family Lawyer did this.  He was a man of means too.  But he had seen enough $10K funerals so he told them and thought he could do more for his family (by saving them those expenses of the undertaker).  He also spoke of the irresponsibility of so many
Cemetery operators who were eager to sell "perpetual care" packages and then by using other companies where they would bankrupt the original company, then the other company buy them out and not honor the
perpetual contracts.  There was a Letter to the Editor of a local paper inquiring as to why the grass was so high at a local cemetery during the Memorial Day week end.  One response stated that this is why Cremation is becoming so popular now.

 

[user 37446]

Really good thoughts eDJ, course that's a reason you are well regarded here.

I liked the point of not all deaths are natural, plan for what happens there, and also the point of donating the body to medical research. My niece got a PhD in Biology and had to work on cadavers to get the necessary understanding of the body. She said that they were always short of bodies to work with.

Of course, the minimalist version may be "who cares, I don't have much to "repurpose" as far as things. Others with either more possessions or assets definately need that exit plan that you mentioned. The hardest part is to know just how to notify your executor that you are gone.
True hermit types won't have this problem and will likely die intestate, and leave the problem to the state to clean up. If we don't want to do that then we have to have some way to issue final instructions, yet if no one knows where you are and you don't leave any next-of-kin information in your glovebox, how does that happen?

I guess you could have a sealed envelope with notification instructions, and have also given that person a sealed envelope with instructions on passwords, account numbers etc, yet who do you trust that won't take advantage of that? Difficult choices. Hopefully everyone here has someone, be they blood relative or good friend, that they can trust. If not, better make a friend!

 

[eDJ_]

Thank you for the kind words TWIH    

As a solution to "being found dead or near it where you are incoherent" we could adapt what the Military does by
wearing Dog Tags or some type ID bracelet.   You could tag your clothing even with such info.   I know most likely is for authorities to  look for a wallet/purse,  provided thieves haven't found it first.   One State Police Officer I once spoke with explained that the most experienced thieves would only take the money from dead person's wallet and then put it back in their pocket.
(once that happens it is hard to identify the money with the deceased....but the ID is still with it's owner)

As for one's rig it may be worth having a stencil made to paint one's name and drivers ID in the living area.

When I go on the road my rig will have one of these

These are around $10 bucks.  When installing this,  this switch will be hidden from view.   If I'm in camp the red key will be removed from the switch and hidden. (thus disabling the vehicle's starting)   Thus if any passersby wee to find you dead,  they couldn't take off in the Rig which may be necessary to identify your body. 

Worse come to worse...........you could always get your name and home town tattooed in a more obscure place where a Coroner would find it.

As for all deaths not being from natural causes.......none of us get to choose when we are going to die. (save committing suicide)   It's natural to focus on living while we are alive.   Our ending will likely be defined by our philosophy of life (if we've taken time to develop one) and that incorporate some statement regarding how we would "wish" to exit. 

History records many famous figures remarks regarding their passing.  Virginia had a Confederate General named Stonewall Jackson.  As he lay suffering from bullet wound (not realizing he was dying from it)  the Doctor told his wife that he would probably die this day.  She went to her husband who was a very religious man and informed him.  He was passing in and out of sleep and awareness and caught the Doctor when he was awake and asked the Doctor if what his wife had told him was correct.  The Doctor affirmed it sadly to him.   The General pondered for a moment and said,  "Good,  I always wanted to die on a Sunday".  (and passed away shortly there after)   Sometimes our exit plan comes in the moment.   But we can make our peace with it then.  It doesn't have to be a long labor.

 

[XFILE36]

OMG! Are you for real? I doubt my sick cat that I am a caretaker for in his last days/years would eat me. I can hardly get him to eat his cat food on many days.