The end of the road...

[mayble]

As for all deaths not being from natural causes.......none of us get to choose when we are going to die. (save committing suicide)...  

This is a subject unfortunately near and dear to me, so I feel compelled to point out that suicide is the terminal result of the medical condition known as depression.  It may appear to be a conscious act, but it's no more a choice than death by cancer or heart attack.

I'm not singling you out; the attitude of far too many people, including health professionals who should know better, is that suicide is a willful, selfish act and that is simply not true.  A person who commits suicide is no more in control of their actions than a person whose schizophrenia compels them to run into traffic or jump off a roof to escape the dragons that no one else can see.  

This concludes my public service announcement.  Carry on.

 

[slynne]

Re: "The hardest part is to know just how to notify your executor that you are gone."

Do you use google services? I use gmail, youtube, and various other services. I log into google every day so I set up things to send an email to certain people with passwords if I dont log on for 30 days.

Here is an article about that service

https://www.theatlantic.com/technol...ke-care-of-your-gmail-when-youre-gone/274934/

 

[John61CT]

Many people consciously choose to end their lives without being depressed.

I honor and respect those strong enough to do so, and wish there were less stigma, shame and legal difficulties around such choices.

 

[user 37446]

XFILE36 - I laughed when I read about your cat... 

Slynne - I had no idea such a service exists, thank you for letting us know. As technology increases/improves, there's so much that can be done...

Good points all.  I will say that the whole suicide thing about not being in your right mind somehow, I don't know about that... there certainly can be times when people are under the influence of emotions or substances that cloud or completely affect their judgement yet I would presume that some people have made a rational, conscious decision to do so.

Anyway, thank you all for your input. It certainly helps with planning.

 

[Every Road Leads Home]

Being only 36, i've probably thought more about death than most people my age. I went from 190 lbs and the definition of in shape and healthy to 118 lbs and unable to get out of a chair for more than a few minutes over the course of 12 months. None of my joints could bend further than 30% of their normal range and many not even that much. Dr's had no answers but to tell me I'd probably end up in a wheel chair and best they knew I had Scleroderma and a 5 year to live predicted lifespan.

And none of it was ever scary and the things you think you'll care about when things get bad you don't. Your brain will prioritize for you, almost 2nd nature like. I thought for awhile I was dying and it was never once a scary thought.

About 4 years prior to my own illness, I watched my Grandmother decline and then pass away. She was the worlds biggest worrier, and in the end all those worries just drifted off into space.

So again, what you think you'll worry about when you're healthy will almost certainly be quite different when you finally face the time. I've always said "if someone ever needs to do (fill in the blank) for me, i'll end it myself" Surprisingly, accepting help with personal matters when it that situation isn't bad either, nothing like you think it will be. In fact, you get to see the kinder side of human nature when in that position, and that in itself is quite comforting.

But, now i'm on the rebound. Back up to 185 lbs, walking the dog a few miles a day, and just lifted a 250 lb woodworking machine out of my truck myself the other day, so even though I coped with the worst of it very well, it feels even better to be on the other end of the spectrum again. Still have limited use of my hands and a fw other issues, but doesn't slow me down a bit, adapt, and move on.

 

[eDJ_]

I know it sounds superstitious,  but when I hear this song....someone I know has usually passed away.  Within a few days of hearing it on the radio I usually learn of an old friend having parted.  Crazy

Ironically two of the members of this group are already gone. George Harrison and Roy Orbison.  This  group of established musicians is getting up in years now.  The Traveling Wilbury's.

"The End of the Line".  The Traveling Wilburies (Youtube music video)

At the time this video was created Orbison had already passed.  You'll notice the empty rocking chair with the guitar in it
in the video as Orbison sings.  It's a tribute to him.

The members in this group got together to do some experimenting and address some interest they had
in creative music.   "End of the Line" may have greater meaning now than they realized when they recorded it.  But you have to consider that when people get up in years, (as they are)  they begin to start considering these things and reflecting on their past and now what holds meaning to them as they move to living more in the present than in the future.

 

[MrNoodly]

...suicide is the terminal result of the medical condition known as depression.

Whereas I think facing inevitable physical and cognitive decline, becoming unable to take care of yourself, becoming trapped in a malfunctioning body and/or brain, and saying, "Yeah, I want as much of that as I can get," is some form of mental illness. Narcissism gussied up as "survival instinct" maybe? Or just delusion? Or fear of what may or may not happen after death? Gee, which is a better way to exit: depressed or fearful?

 

[cpal]

I know it sounds superstitious,  but when I hear this song....someone I know has usually passed away.  Within a few days of hearing it on the radio I usually learn of an old friend having parted.  Crazy

Ironically two of the members of this group are already gone. George Harrison and Roy Orbison.  This  group of established musicians is getting up in years now.  The Traveling Wilbury's.

"The End of the Line".  The Traveling Wilburies (Youtube music video)

At the time this video was created Orbison had already passed.  You'll notice the empty rocking chair with the guitar in it
in the video as Orbison sings.  It's a tribute to him.

The members in this group got together to do some experimenting and address some interest they had
in creative music.   "End of the Line" may have greater meaning now than they realized when they recorded it.  But you have to consider that when people get up in years, (as they are)  they begin to start considering these things and reflecting on their past and now what holds meaning to them as they move to living more in the present than in the future.

Synchronistic moments always seem to abound. I had that very song in mind when I started this post. Another moment for me is George Harrison's "if you don't know where your going, any road will take you there" (brainwashed...his last album.)

We are all part of everything and nothing at the same time. I suppose if we take time to watch the trees breath, hear the wind as if it were a roaring ocean, see a simple moment such as a bird feeding we connect with the very mechanics of life. 

If we take that moment.

We are nothing when we pass opportunities to give of ourselves to make someone else's voyage a little bit easier. How much does the gentle understanding voice of a stranger mean to someone that is at their wits end due to their own machinations or just the cold laws of physics?

For me, I will never judge, just help. If there is a deity, let it be the Final arbiter.

 

[John61CT]

If you don't know where you are going any road can take you there

— Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

 

[AntiGroundhogDay]

I can appreciate some of the philosophical thoughts here on approaching decline, no clue how I'll deal with other than the practical side of things.  I've always been a planner and when life throws a curveball, I make a new plan.  With that said, generally the plans that were made well in advance of being needed, are the most thought out and agreeable.  For myself I plan to be fully nomadic, single, and childfree.  I plan to continue to foster relationships with good friends and my Brother's family (wife, 2 kids) who will most likely accommodate me if needed as I contribute to their lives now.  it's all about fostering that tribe(s) as mentioned on the CheapRVLiving blog.  As for budgeting I have 3 different retirement budgets... one for nomadic living, one for staying in the town where my friends are, and one for living with my Brother.  This way I'll have choices as opposed to being forced to make a suboptimal choice last minute when a curveball is thrown.