So whats it like on Holidays like today

[Bliss149]

Hi all, 
The holidays have been hard since losing my mother and my only sibling in 2015. I have only a couple of living relatives and they dont live close but I still did holidays with husband's family. This year i did not do that because he and i are in the process of splitting up. Been invited by friends but the lack of ties now is making me think that as soon ss i can do it financially, i can become a full-time traveller. (Obviously i will try it part-time first.)

But i have to say that the idea of being on the road completely alone scares and depresses me. Do a lot of you gather or meet up and hang out for holidays? If you dont what do you do that day?

I would love to hear your experiences and thoughts.

 

[maki2]

I don't have an answer to what "everybody" does. There is no single answer to it. I have been married but I have also spent many years single. I have sometimes gone to friends and neighbors celebrations. I have spent nearly as many Christmas days alone than ones spent with family or friends. But I am always kind to myself when I am alone on Christmas instead of going into that weepy feeling sorry for myself mode. Instead I get to enjoy a nice meal, make some eggnog, listen to music, watch movies, read a book etc. I don't need to be at a party to have a great day.

My son is living in another country. I have no grandchildren. My parents are dead as are my former in-laws. My siblings are thousands of miles away.

The first couple of years I spent alone on holidays were a bit tough but you can get past that stage. Just be kind and learn to have a great day even if you are alone that day. Remember that it is a holiday season and there are many days in it that you can do activities with other people or by yourself. Have fun the whole season long instead of being focused on one big blowout on December 25th.

In my personal world the holiday season starts in August, the busy month is November and then things wind down. That is because I make a holiday seasonal product. So I am in contact with customers who are creating decorations from the kits I sell to them. I get lots of notes telling me how much fun they are having and even pictures showing me what they have done with the kits they bought. I was even busy with shipping out an order on Christmas eve and grateful that the long lines at the post office were all gone. I don't decorate for the holidays at my place but I get great enjoyment knowing that I had a part in decorating more than a thousand homes in many countries.

Remember you are the one person who can decide if you are going to be happy or if you are going to be sad. Your life is what you make of it. I choose to enjoy the season and I also choose to always enjoy Christmas day and it does not matter if I am alone or sometimes with others, I still choose to enjoy it rather than mope about being alone that day.

 

[Cammalu]

Bliss. That’s an easy one. Come to the rtr and join a caravan. You won’t ever be alone.


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[jacqueg]

Going it solo can be a very difficult transition if you have always felt that you need company. Whether you do it in a van or in s&b, the problem is the same.

You have to find things that you really like to do, and then do them. Sure, you might have a better time if you had good company, but to wait for that company in order to do them means you could wait forever. So you really do have to make up your mind - do I wait for company that may never appear, or do I get on with my life?

IMO, you can only consider yourself a fully realized adult when you can enjoy your own company. And this is a skill like any other, you need to consciously practice it on a regular basis, whether you are partnered up or not.

And yes, people on the road do meet up for holidays. You will be meeting new people who are dealing with this same problem, with varying degrees of success. And you do know the best way to meet interesting people, don't you? You need to be interesting to the kind of people you are interested in meeting.

So hit the road with a list of 3 or 4 things that you want to get good - or much better - at doing. And have at least a rough plan for how you're going to do it. Online and/or DVD courses to do just about anything you can imagine doing are widely available, if you feel the need for guidance.

Don't close yourself off to the possibilities that life offers.

 

[eDJ_]

Agreed,  everyone needs to have some sense of purpose. 

One police officer who used to come around the gas station I worked at as a teen would explain to my boss that the reason they gave drifters who wandered thru the town thumbing rides etc a hard time was that their idle time and aimlessness led them to trouble.  I know this is profiling but in those times it was accepted practice. 

It may be easy to lose track of your sense of purpose when on your own with no direction home.   It could lead to anxiety and depression with a lowered sense of self esteem.  But forming an agenda of things you would want to pursue and then creating an itinerary to go about achieving those goals could keep things real and on track.  This may come easier to some than others but it will be key to surviving and prospering when on one's own while on the road.  It's a different way of thinking than when in the sticks and bricks with a sense of community with the comfort of neighbors who are always there and establishments where people know you.

 

[DLTooley]

I like the solo time and the group time. Being alone immersed in nature is profound.

 

[MrNoodly]

Here are two examples from today, Christmas.

I'm an introvert and don't need a lot of social contact. I also stopped making a to-do about Christmas decades ago when in the middle of decorating a tree my now-former wife asked why we were doing it. I shrugged, she shrugged back. From then on we traveled instead.

So I'm camped near Yuma, alone and contented and, oh yeah, it's Christmas day. I decided to go to town and celebrate the holiday the Jewish way, by having Chinese food. To my surprise, one of my vandweller friends was also there—with a group of other boondockers. She explained that she only knew one of the group beforehand and sort of got pulled in with them. We exchanged hugs and took selfies and chatted briefly. Then she went back to her group of new acquaintances and I got a piece of cake.

Here are other examples.

One Christmas I was "camped" at a casino with a couple of friends. We shared dinner -- at the casino buffet.

Another year, a bunch of boondockers were all camped in Ehrenburg and we did a big pot luck dinner and caroling around the campfire.

Another year, someone brought a stack of pizzas from town for an impromptu Christmas eve dinner.

Unless you're a total recluse, you meet other nomads and end up making plans to get together, or you stumble upon each other.

 

[crofter]

I spent many Holidays working before being retired, so I was there on the day with patients and co-workers and we traded stories and enjoyed the special time together.

This year I spent the day with friends, but if that does not come up, I really enjoy spending any holiday in nature solo. Taking that time just for myself and seeing some awesome natural sights and animals that pop up is always memorable and recharges my batteries in a special way.  ~crofter

 

[SLB_SA]

I will offer a different perspective. I have plenty of family for company but other people I know do not. I talk with (and work out with) some retired people at the Y. One guy lost his wife a couple years ago and has no kids. I invited him over for Christmas but he said he prefers to be at home on Christmas; he said he might accept an invitation for Christmas dinner next year. My ex-wife has no living relatives nearby (except for our kids and grandkids). So the kids and grandkids and my ex-wife met at my house on Christmas and we had a great time. Since she was tired, my ex-wife crashed in one of my spare bedrooms. This morning, I made breakfast for everyone as they came by during the morning and helped me reduce (but not eliminate) the extra food on hand. My younger daughter took my ex-wife shopping later in the morning and then took her home (to my ex-wife's house, not my daughter's house).

Some of us have the option of making the holidays more pleasant for friends and acquaintances and I encourage these people to reach out to others. I gave another "work out" buddy and his wife a ride to the airport on Monday because paying to park at the airport for 9 or 10 days is a waste of money; they will get to visit their daughter, son-in-law and grandkids without worrying about their car in a parking garage. Bob Wells talks about the importance of giving and helping the community and I completely agree with him.

 

[rvwandering]

Since there are two of us we're never completely alone but it's almost always fun to have some company when celebrating the holidays. That being said every year is different - sometimes we're alone, sometimes we except invitations from friends or family. This year Thanksgiving was spent with family because they were within a day's drive. Christmas day was in the desert near Quartzsite with an RTR friend of many years, an RTR friend from last year, and a stranger who has become a friend. The RTRs are a wonderful way to meet fellow nomads who share your outlook on life on the road. Caravans are really great for newbies. You will only be alone if that's what you want.

 

[VanFan]

There are two of us, and this year we spent Christmas at the beach.  We did not have cell service, so calling family members was not an option.  In many ways, it was a relief to be away from old patterns.  It certainly was good to be out of the city!  My husband told people we passed:  "Merry Christmas!  I didn't know what else to get you--so I got you a beach!"  There were some kids making a sand castle/Christmas village and happily showing off treasured gifts.

I did have a tearful moment when I remembered a limerick my now deceased father once told me:  "A funny bird, the pelican.  His beak holds more than his belly can."

Christmas night we walked the grounds of a Spanish mission near our camp site that was specially lit for the occasion.  Pretty cool.