Many Conflicting Thoughts

[waverider1987]

Thanks all who have posted. Not much has changed in my head. I keep bouncing back and forth. I've done lots of small trips here and there but the desire to GO without the need to return is strong. To run in a straight, unending line and not a circle. However, to do so would be the end of the relationship, which is something I'm afraid of doing. Can't take off and still keep relationship because of other responsibilities, such as bills. I have no idea how I'm going to make money when I start out, so would be living off savings and don't want the responsibility of having to send a check home from my ever dwindling saving account just to know I have a soft place to land. If I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go. Wether she could love me through it would be up to her, but I wouldn't wish that kind of heartache on her. But again, I'm not willing to let it all go yet. I just wish there was a way to clone myself and do both sometimes. I'm thinking of finding time to take a two week solo trip, the longest I'll have ever been gone on my own, and just see how it goes. I'm about to switch jobs so maybe during the in-between, if there's that time. Of course whenever I leave, it always makes coming home that much harder. I feel depressed soon after coming home and having to get back to the day to day routine. I'm built to be a nomad but have yet to meet any others like myself. Where are they all hiding, I wonder...

Mercury retrograde always sends my wheels spinning. Does anyone else get wanderlust around that time? If you're into that sorta thing...

 

[VanKitten]

I think that nomads are all around you. But, most keep quiet about it. Society does not like our kind! Those that cannot move around all the time don't tell people about it. I think there is even a thread here asking that very question...to tell or not to tell. .... who do you trust with that knowledge about you .... what is the reaction of family and friends .... etc.

I think a far number of nomads find a means to make a living while being a nomad. Truck driver..etc. in my case, I worked racing horses....that meant constantly moving to another race track always either arriving or departing. Never more than 3-5 months at any one place.

 

[RVtrek]

Wether she could love me through it would be up to her, but I wouldn't wish that kind of heartache on her.

I feel depressed soon after coming home and having to get back to the day to day routine.  I'm built to be a nomad but have yet to meet any others like myself.  Where are they all hiding, I wonder...

If you're not happy at home, spending time being depressed because you'd rather be out wandering, how do you suppose that impacts her?  There's likely heartache going on, on both sides, already.

Of course we don't want to hurt our loved ones, but sometimes it's better to go through one major time of pain and get over it instead of living with this kind of uncertainty, depression, etc.  You might actually be more compassionate for her if you "rip the bandaid off" so to say.

I think your idea of going on a longer trip is a fantastic idea.  When you get back it'll tell you even more about the relationship.  If you don't want to go back, and you can live without your partner, and they're feeling pretty much the same, then it's time to move on.  If on the other hand you can't wait to get back in each other's arms, then that tells you something clearly too.

As for where we're all hiding, well, I think a lot of us are introverts, so we're naturally good at hiding.  When we're in cities, we take efforts to be 'stealthy', and when we're out in nature, well, you're just not going to find us because we're out in the middle of nowhere and that's pretty well hidden too.

If you're not planning on going to RTR, I'd highly recommend it.  It'll give you that multi-week trip you're looking for, and most importantly, will let you meet a bunch of us that have been hiding!  It should help give you some perspective both on traveling, nomads, and your relationship with your partner.

 

[dawnann7]

I feel depressed soon after coming home and having to get back to the day to day routine.  I'm built to be a nomad...

Bingo. This is probably the most telling and important thing you've said. I think this is what you need to pay attention to.

Hugs from a fellow nomad.

 

[waverider1987]

I think that nomads are all around you.   But, most keep quiet about it.  Society does not like our kind!    Those that cannot move around all the time don't tell people about it.   I think there is even a thread here asking that very question...to tell or not to tell.  ....  who do you trust with that knowledge about you ....  what is the reaction of family and friends ....  etc.

I think a far number of nomads find a means to make a living while being a nomad.   Truck driver..etc.    in my case, I worked racing horses....that meant constantly moving to another race track always either arriving or departing.   Never more than 3-5 months at any one place.

I had a dream about horse racing last night.  Your post must have been why.  I grew up riding horses, that would be an awesome job.  How did you get into that?

 

[VanKitten]

Wave rider....

Well, younstart at the bottom. Hot-walker.
Each morning starting at 5 a.m. Every horse must go to the track for training. When they come back..someone must walk them to cool them out, hold while they get a bath, and walk till dry. This person is the hot-walker. About 30 minutes per horse. Training hours end at 10 a.m.
This is the bottom level job. Sometimes you can get additional work mucking (cleaning a stall).

After a period of time, and you demonstrate you can handle yourself around horses....you might get the chance to learn a bit more from the assistant grooms. Even get the occasional additional work doing some of the jobs of the assistant. In time, a groom may notice you and offer you the job of assistant groom.

Eventually you will be knowledgeable enough to take the test and get a grooms license.

From there you may end up trying your hand at barn management, or even assistant trainer.

All this comes with getting to be known around the people at the tracks.

Oh...and the job starts about 4:30a.m. Don't be late or you will be fired.

 

[waverider1987]

I had a couple days off work, so I went around and explored some places outdoors. Slept at hotel parking lots in middle of nowhere USA, saw some wildlife, it was good. Told myself it would set me straight for coming back home and getting back to work.

Oh how wrong I was.

I'm just ready to leave again. It's not good timing, but it's not the worst either. I have people to see and babies to meet, and I keep daydreaming about the desert, especially this time of year. I would piss off so many people if I left though, but I really don't think I won't ever NOT piss someone off if I do what I want to do. It would truly be for me, and completely selfish. Thing is, I could go for a few weeks and come back, but I may not have a job to come back to, or anything. I'm scared to death but a huge part of me inside is screaming at the same time.
Ugh.

 

[rm.w/aview]

  I'm thinking of finding time to take a two week solo trip, the longest I'll have ever been gone on my own, and just see how it goes.  I'm about to switch jobs so maybe during the in-between, if there's that time.  Of course whenever I leave, it always makes coming home that much harder.

     Your last post bumped this thread to the top, where I found & read it from the start. If you're still able to take that solo trip, take it. Two weeks is not that long but it may be revealing for you. To have a dream or an idea is one thing and to live the dream is something very different, unless when you dream of being a nomad you do so from a logistical viewpoint. Ideally, it's a wonderful life. But as every person that has wanted to move forward with something can testify, to make the dream a reality involves some logistics. The dream or idea is only the seed that with care can become reality. For 40 years, the longest I was ever at one job was 18 months, mostly at about 10 months I've got to move. A quick look reveals 6 or 7 states east of the Mississippi that I haven't worked in, and in that time I've known many people that have a wanderlust and dream of travel. For most of them it's only a dream though, as revealed in our conversations. So was it love, or was it the idea of being in love. 
     I wish you all the best. From what I gather with this thread, you are in love. You also have a love, though thus far it's a dream, and it's also a good one. It seems deeply rooted somehow in an unexplainable way within you. So as I said earlier, take that solo trip and have it reveal something to you. I know that a person can be deeply in love with someone and still say goodbye, see each other again sometime and still feel that love. Happens all the time.

 

[Jeremiah Diminovich]

I have similar prob. Spent 20 years raising kids and not going places expecting to have a time and a partner to do it with. Now I'm forced into it and doing it alone and very little income. The path we want is not always the path we get. Honestly I'm nervous about the whole thing but I have no other choice.

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[rm.w/aview]

 I have no idea how I'm going to make money when I start out, so would be living off savings 

I read your thread again and discovered ^this^ and then I discovered your photography and wondered if you're selling those impressive images because I believe that you can, and for all I know probably are. What a wonderful mix... a nomadic photographer capturing images that fuel the dreams of the homebound and suggest destinations for the traveler.

 

[Jeremiah Diminovich]

Good idea. And they were just quick pics on a cheap ZTE wallmart phone

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[Jeremiah Diminovich]

You are welcome to my FB under same name and see more

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[waverider1987]

I read your thread again and discovered ^this^ and then I discovered your photography and wondered if you're selling those impressive images because I believe that you can, and for all I know probably are. What a wonderful mix... a nomadic photographer capturing images that fuel the dreams of the homebound and suggest destinations for the traveler.

I have tried several ways to sell photos.  Online doesn't seem to work, but when I package them nice and find shops to sell them in on commission, they do pretty well.  Takes a long time to sell all of them though.

 

[waverider1987]

Today I put in my 2 weeks at the job I've had for only the past few months. Decided I needed something with more flexibility where I could take a week or two or three off and still have a job to come back to. Enter pizza delivery.

Lord help me. I hope it works out in my favor. It'd be nice to work for a good couple months or so and take extended time off with a job to come back to.

How long I can keep coming back for though, I don't know. It's kind of like, how long can you keep the lid on the boiling pot of water before it over flows and you have to take the lid off....

 

[waverider1987]

I also do stocks but long term, not day trading. Although I would like to get into that. Even just making $20-$50 a day on the road would make it worth it. I posted a new thread for that topic under money matters if anyone cares to comment...

 

[rm.w/aview]

  It'd be nice to work for a good couple months or so and take extended time off with a job to come back to.
How long I can keep coming back for though, I don't know.

It's fair to assume that you've explored the options of work camping. There are many sources of income for a nomad such as yourself, and sustainability is key.

 

[rm.w/aview]

I have tried several ways to sell photos.  Online doesn't seem to work, but when I package them nice and find shops to sell them in on commission, they do pretty well.  Takes a long time to sell all of them though.

Are you aware of a book... Photographer's Market. It's also mentioned in a thread here on this forum, "Snowflake Photography", post #19, in the "Hobbies on the road" sub-forum.

 

[waverider1987]

It's fair to assume that you've explored the options of work camping. There are many sources of income for a nomad such as yourself, and sustainability is key.

Oh yes, I'm very much aware of the options for nomads.  This is more my option for still living in one place, but having the chance to take off for long periods of time.

But...

Things aren't looking so great on the homefront.  My travels may be starting here wether I'm ready or not.

 

[Minivanmotoman]

Advice and opinions, others experiences. Great for reference but nothing guaranteed for you and your specfics. Life is complex and it's normal for you to be confused and uncertain. How to progress with your life and deal with life and love as well? What works for others may or may not work for you.
It is the classic dilemma, living ones life vs compromising for relationship happiness. There is always a price to be paid. Few have it all. Someone is paying a price. Great love requires great sacrifice. Willingly.
Finding someone compatible to share your life passions is a challenge. Being a nomad frequently means being singular. Many spend a lifetime searching.
Me thinks break it down into two separate aspects. Nomadic tendencies. Relationship choices and aspects.
Get clarity on one and then progress on the other to see forward. But be prepared for the price to be paid, accept and hopefully clarity will come for you.

 

[waverider1987]

I've made the decision that come January, I'm going.

Not permanently, I'm not breaking up with my S.O. and moving all my stuff out or anything. But I told her that I need to take a few weeks while I can to just go try this thing out. My plan is to end up at the RTR for at least a few days. I would be coming in during the middle of it, due to a family birthday trip to vegas that goes till the 9th. So, after that, I would be headed that way.

Excited and scared all at the same time. I feel like the timing for doing something like this will never be "just right", but I think this is "good enough" timing. Hopefully I don't chicken out.

I may make a new thread so that I can post questions and updates while I'm out on the road. If so, I'll post the link here. I'll probably post on my van facebook page too, link below.