Dating and van life. How does one go about this?

[rruff]

By 'dating', are you referring to nekkid and exchanging bodily fluids?

Nah, Ben is a burned romantic who still wants to dip his toes in the fire...

One thing I should clarify. I'm not looking for hook ups..... YIKES! I'm definitely not looking to add a lady to my life. I like peace. I also don't think I'm capable of finding a quality woman to be with long term. I've never been a good judge of character with women.

Healthy gals are important! Make sure they aren’t loaded with pills & anti depressants. Geesh you want to enjoy your life, dude! Not be encumbered with their misery.

Which reminded me of a couple of good songs....

 

[maki2]

My still close friend I spent many years with before becoming a snowbird has lived full time on his 39’ sailboat for more than 30 years in Seattle. He rents workshop space just a walk up the street from the marina. I lived at the workshop space, he lives on the boat. His sailboat has two cabins but we both enjoyed having more personal privacy and I am more of a night owl while he is an early riser. Before I met him I had owned several sailboats but did not live on them.

While there are some women who live full time as singles on boats most of the time it is couples or single guys. It is a bit different in the nomadic vanlife scene as it is easier to manage the life for solo women travelers. But many times they also tend to find platonic friendship travel buddies to caravan with at least part of the year.
Photo is my “Home Port” in Seattle. Arrow points at the workshop, the sailboat is up the street at the big marina.

 

[ben2go]

.
By 'dating', are you referring to nekkid and exchanging bodily fluids?

No. I mean conversation and a meal. I don't get into hook ups and one night stand type of stuff.

 

[eDJ_]

Yeah, ons and hook up's are more kid stuff than anything else.

Dr Herb Goldberg wrote a book explaining the perils divorced men have faced....even just single men for that matter. He saw so much of this happening
with those he counseled in his practice that he decided to write this book:

Too easy to be seen as either a walking meal ticket or ATM.


The Hazards of Being Male : Surviving the Myth of Masculine Privilege pdf

 

[WanderingRose]

Yeah, ons and hook up's are more kid stuff than anything else.

I think there is a whole lot of hooking up going on among seniors, on the road and elsewhere.

 

[eDJ_]

^^^ Yes, if one "wants" that it is more than available with all the hookup sites and chat rooms on the interweb. I could produce a whole site just on that subject. Not only Seniors on the road, but even in Senior Living Centers.

In 2001 Phoenix, AZ was having problems with it's Seniors using a public park late at night.

ABC News: Senior Sex a Public Problem in Ariz. Community

 

[maki2]

How about you all get back on track with what the OP was asking about and off the track of seniors and sex. Try to remember just two things. He is NOT a senior and he is NOT looking for senior hookup advice.
I know it is a tough ask for anyone once the word SEX gets mentioned but at least try….

 

[maki2]

As long as you are not allergic…,If you travel with a small to medium sized dog that is very mellow and friendly to humans and other dogs you will have plenty of women nomads to talk and visit with. The dogs are great “ice breakers” and conversation initiators with strangers. I see that in action wherever I go camping as dog owners need to be out and about on walks. So there is not an instant high alert “stranger danger” alarm bell signal in a chance encounter. Those casual contact conversations also leads to things like taking dog walks and going to dog park platonic date activities and picnic lunch dates too. Plus you will also have a traveling companion for land or sea. There are of course a number of downsides to dog ownership. But they still make great icebreakers for conversation even if the dog belongs to a woman and you do not own one.

 

[rruff]

^^^^ Yes, a cute dog that is friendly and well behaved makes a huge difference! Or so I've heard...

I like other people's dogs... but no desire to own one.

 

[Tony's Dream]

It's been years since I dated and it was a challenge being in one place, so I can only imagine how difficult it would be to on the road. I'm not looking to date, I'm happily married for 40+ years.......but traveling can get lonely. When I see people on the road, I love to say hi and try to talk wirh them. In most cases I feel like the woman see me and think..........run or at least keep your distance. I understand why but it is still nice to just have conversation.

 

[maki2]

Of course I do not even know what 49 year old guys like to talk about. My son is in his 50s and his brain is focused on gaming. Although his wife did convince him to buy an Airstream and travel for three years. But they never once boondocked, it was RV parks with Wi-Fi the whole 3 years because he hated camping despite or because he was forced into that torture while a child and on into his teens while living in Alaska.

 

[LargeMarge]

I love a good conversation[,] I can sit and talk with you for hours..

.
a)
Our esteemed colleague makes a valid point.
.
I am absolutely *NOT* a conversationalist.
I am, however, an excellent listener.
.
Occasionally -- until my bladder cuts things short -- somebody will talk and chat and blather for most of their assigned hour.
I generally maintain my gaze while sometimes remembering to occasionally offer a 'bonding' nod and sigh.
.
b)
A meal is meditative, a sanctuary for tasting, enjoying the ambience, savoring the moment while honoring the farmers and ranchers and cooks upstream from the celebration.
Conversation is something different entirely.
.
.
Disclaimer:
Somebody once watched me during one of my standard three-hour consuming marathons, an easy ten thousand calories or so.
Apparently, according to unsubstantiated rumors, my habitat needs a cautionary placard, something along the lines of:
* "!!! WARNING : KEEP HANDS AWAY DURING FEEDING TIME !!!"
.
Anybody coming onboard for a second date has a pretty strong stomach...
.
This image represents my placemat at the start of my meal.
Another reason I prefer a buffet.

 

[INTJohn]

Back to OP……..
He writes he’s only interested in sharing time with someone for a bite to eat and conversation…….

Doesn’t sound like he’s interested in any level of intimacy outside of hanging out with someone, superficially, for some quality edifying conversation and a dinner.

This is not gender specific. Any one anywhere can fulfill this. Male, female, transgender.

In a way, We’re all doing it on this site. OP just wants it sometimes someplace while he’s traveling looking for his dream sail boat, face to face.
Frankly I don’t see how or why this would be complex.
Jonny

 

[Tony's Dream]

Of course I do not even know what 49 year old guys like to talk about. My son is in his 50s and his brain is focused on gaming. Although his wife did convince him to buy an Airstream and travel for three years. But they never once boondocked, it was RV parks with Wi-Fi the whole 3 years because he hated camping despite or because he was forced into that torture while a child and on into his teens while living in Alaska.

My wife is similar in that she wants to stay in "comfortable" locations........RV parks with full hook ups or hotels. I'm just as comfortable in a Walmart parking lot. What to talk about........just talk about things you would talk about with your friends. Talk about your travels, points of interest you liked, and bad things they encountered.

 

[Morgana]

just talk about things you would talk about with your friends.

Good advice. Something else someone said to me once was, don't worry so much about what to say, being a good listener will get you 90% of the way. That took a lot of the pressure off for 20-something-year-old me to stop trying to impress people. The fact that you find someone interesting is usually solid proof of your good taste and relatability! (Also, it will help you find out what the person likes to talk about.) Of course, easy does it -- you don't have to impersonate a shrink or district attorney (but you knew that).
If you're not looking for something serious, and you're not planning to be in any one place for a long time, there wouldn't be any real harm in a social pratfall or two, would there? You learn something from it and move on. Remember the guy who made it a goal to get a rejection every day (https://www.npr.org/sections/health...g-a-game-out-of-rejection-a-man-conquers-fear)? A bit extreme for me, but it's a fun idea.
Good luck with your plans!

 

[ben2go]

As long as you are not allergic…,If you travel with a small to medium sized dog that is very mellow and friendly to humans and other dogs you will have plenty of women nomads to talk and visit with. The dogs are great “ice breakers” and conversation initiators with strangers. I see that in action wherever I go camping as dog owners need to be out and about on walks. So there is not an instant high alert “stranger danger” alarm bell signal in a chance encounter. Those casual contact conversations also leads to things like taking dog walks and going to dog park platonic date activities and picnic lunch dates too. Plus you will also have a traveling companion for land or sea. There are of course a number of downsides to dog ownership. But they still make great icebreakers for conversation even if the dog belongs to a woman and you do not own one.

I have two cats that will travel with me some. They're not friend felines, sad to say.

 

[abnorm]

Paulette and I met and married "on-the-road" more than 5 yrs ago.......We're OLD........With TWO cats !

The Western Caravans and Camps and RTR/WRTR offer an opportunity to meet and interact with a large group of people quickly..........a MeltingPot of Nomads.........Campfires.........Pot-Lucks.........Coffee circles.......Activities

Time to be YOU................

WE met at YARC Camp in Quartzsite....I built out her car.....6 months later we "Meet" again at a HOWA Caravan in Oregon.......I told her I don't have "Lap-Cats"........Within minutes SMUDGEE climbs on Paulette's lap.....SOLD !

We climb onto the bed to watch a movie and Paulette sleeps over........"Is there Room for ME ?" YES !

Life and Travel is so much better with a Partner and Pets to share the journey.......

 

[INTJohn]

As a woman, here, I’m going to say a few things.

Keep your hands to yourself………..

Well Forum; I apologize for being a lil late on this but been kinda busy.
This song always was, still is and always will be dedicated to women like Rose……….

 

[bullfrog !]

Well Forum; I apologize for being a lil late on this but been kinda busy.
This song always was, still is and always will be dedicated to women like Rose……….

Maybe that’s why I got engaged so many times before I was 25! Darn Baptist upbringing! Lol!!!

 

[Larry-new]

I met my wife in the desert. We both had Aliners, and had joined a HOWA caravan.
I showed up in the morning with a mug of coffee, and we talked, while killing a pesky tarantula.
We traveled in the caravan a while, but I didn't like the moving every two weeks bit, especially since there was no need to.
We kept in touch thru covid, and met up the following winter in the LTVA at Imperial dam.
The Aliners were cramped. We got a pop-up gazebo to eat together and watch football on a cell phone screen.

Later, we sold the small trailers and bought a used class A. After that, a cowboy wedding in the desert and a house in Yuma.
Drink coffee. Talk. It's easier than you think. First, become comfortable with being by yourself. Without that, you're desperate.