There is much more but I'll save that for another day. Right now I'm in the process of having yet another repair done so I can be on my way to AZ once again. See y'all at RTR 2019.
The grouchy and reluctant van dweller.
I think that the most important thing here is that you tried rather than spending your remaining years in regret wishing you had at least made the attempt. Because now you have cleared the waters by learning more about yourself and the dream… you made it real for better or worse now you know that you were dreaming, and like most dreams you have your answers. Unfortunately as with most dreams the answers given are quite cryptic and difficult to understand what they are trying to tell us. You were challenged my the monsters and you out ran them all to awake feeling tired and spent in the effort, but if you look deeply I think you will find yourself renewed and relieved to have faced them. Congratulate your self for having the guts to chase the dream, most people would rather continue to wish they could overcome the obstacles they have placed in their path as insurance to remain in the comfort zone of knowing what to expect… tomorrow will be just like today, not realizing that they are the only ones that can give those problems the power to even slow them down. We never seem to learn that there are not many things in the world we have the power to change… but with a little effort we do have the power to change the way we feel about most of them. Had you left your situation in the world of I could have, or at least I might have been able to do it all, you never would have learned the lessons about yourself. Life is a learning process when you stop learning you stop living. Had you not tried you would have spent the rest of your days should-ing all over your self. Thinking I should have done this van thing and life would have been so much better. If only I did all those wonderful things I would be wallowing in the greener grass over there, because when you control the dream by not doing anything, then everything will always be wonderful compared to any form of reality you are actually living.
I am seventy two years old and three months ago I decided sitting in my condo watching videos waiting to die in comfort was not teaching me anything about who I am or had spent my life to become. Now I am three months into building and living in a van… so how am I doing? well now that you ask I must say I have my moments. I am scared to death that I am way too old and ill equipped to begin such an adventure. I find my memory dwindling, skills lacking, fear of the unknown daunting. I have outlived all of my family and most friends that I share any history with so my main discomfort is loneliness, at least in the condo I had neighbors who knew my name. I am capable with small projects but also have mental difficulties. I was born with a learning disability at a time in history when that was not understood, because of that I also have eminence difficulty with technological stuff, finances, math and a world that is changing so fast I cannot keep track of anything. With a ninth grade education which I failed like all the others. I am self taught and I learn slow, but well if interested… however not much interests me for long. Throughout my life I have always been blessed in that I did learned early that most things just are not very important, people make them important usually way too important. What I did learn recently is that God gave me absolutely everything I needed all my life, everything! I am seventy two years old and still breathing that is my proof… while he did not give me everything or much that I wanted, the lesson taught that that was my error because I misunderstood the ratio between want and need. Now while chasing the dream of a minimalist life style, with the monsters being the UN-needed complications keeping me from understanding the lessons of living my life. Basic lessons like gratitude for the simple things, like waking up in the morning to appreciate the gift of another day.
I am hoping to hook up with one of the caravans as soon as I finish with the V. A. here in Las Vegas. I have a doctors appointment coming up in a week, not sure yet but it looks like a go. I have a few issues with my van to clear before I am self contained. Hoping to be gone around the fifteenth on the way to one of them not sure which. The RTR is at the top of list as far as destinations go. My demons are social in nature that feeling of not fitting in anywhere... ever. I am hoping that rather than fighting with them I can learn to embrace them, maybe even cuddle a bit. Oddly it is the possibility I might find ‘people comfort’ that draws me to this reclusive nomadic life. The idea that I can come and go without obligations or suffer the need to ‘do it right’ whatever that is. The tribe sounds like heaven, to just be me as I am without meeting someones expectations of what I could be if only I were like them. Anyway looking forward to trying a tribal life… and I hope to lightly meet many new friends on the trail. Hope to see you at the RTR if you are still chasing your dream.