Since I've been living on the road most of my life, I guess I'm going to consider myself somewhat knowledgeable in this area, since I regularly break the rules of what I usually see posted, without any problems.
The first and most important rule of parking in cities is to have a window van. If you have a cargo van, you are labeled as either homeless or a criminal before anybody ever meets you. A cargo van might go unnoticed during the day, but never at night. On TV and in the news, the bad guy's always drive cargo vans and this is embedded into people's minds. You can be the best person on earth, and if you're driving a cargo van, you're still going to be doomed by the stigma of a cargo van.
All this nonsense about needing to move constantly is because people have cargo vans. You're always on the run from both neighbors and the cops, because both of them think you're either a criminal or homeless. When I had a cargo van, I had numerous cops tell me that if I didn't want constant trouble I needed to get a window van or a more obvious camper van. They were right.
Now if you start out with a window van or camper van, provided that it isn't an absolute eyesore, you will be judged on your own merits, not on your van. This is where being clean cut, clean clothes, and a somewhat friendly personality come in. Once you remove the stigma of a cargo van, campers just don't instill fear in people, in fact it will actually intrigue many people, and they will want to know more.
I've never tried to hide the fact that I live in my van. Unless I get asked to move by the cops or a neighbor, or there's obviously posted signs that say I'm not supposed to park somewhere, I just don't worry about it. I have never worried about whether it was illegal to sleep in your vehicle in any town. I've spent time in towns where people report it's illegal, sometimes a LOT of time, and have never had any problems.
I don't do stealth as described by most people. I don't try to hide anything. If I have lights on in the middle of the night in my van, so be it. I don't care who sees it, the neighbors or the cops. I'm not ashamed of what I'm doing, and as long as I'm not bothering anybody else, it shouldn't be an issue. If you have lights on at night and a cop rolls by, if you wave and smile at them, normally they'll wave back and just keep on going.
Now I'm rarely parked without moving for longer than several days. Not because I'm worried about it, but simply because I have somewhere to go. When I get done, I return home to my parking spot, or as close to it as I can get. I stay in some places up to a couple of months at a time with no problems.
I do think that being a good neighbor is important. I never have ANYTHING outside my van. If I want to sit somewhere outside my van, I'll go to a park. Same thing with cooking or anything else, if I want to do it outside, then I go to a park. Don't use somebodies bushes for your bathroom, or for storage. You're supposed to be living IN your van.
I've heard stories from neighbors of previous vehicle dwellers that were always asking to use their bathrooms, or showers, or for free electricity, or food. DON'T BE THAT TYPE OF PERSON.
Stealth to me isn't about trying to hide what I'm doing, it's about being accepted as a good neighbor. It's about a genuine warm wave & smile at your neighbors, and maybe a cheerful greeting or a conversation.
In reading a number of forums I get the sense that many van dwellers consider themselves to be homeless. If we have built our camper vans properly, with a kitchen, bathroom, and bedroom, then in truth we are no more homeless than other full timers living in very expensive RV's. We can be our own worst enemies. If you consider yourself homeless, then it's going to be very hard to convince your peers of anything different, and being homeless carries very heavy baggage along with it. Baggage that being a full timer doesn't have. Being homeless, or perceived as being homeless, i immediately brings about negative thoughts, emotions, and reactions. Being a full timer carries no such negativity, instead it brings about intrigue, curiosity, friendliness, and a willingness of welcoming you to their neighborhood for as long as you wish to stay.
Be a good neighbor, be an above average neighbor, and you will be accepted. About a month ago, I came back to my parking spot to find that every street for blocks around had no parkings posted because they were going to repave the streets. It was about 5pm, and the no parking didn't start until 10pm that evening, so I was sitting there contemplating what I wanted to do. I was parked there for probably the better part of an hour, and in that time, I had FIVE neighbors offer me off street parking. I didn't accept any of their offers, but thanked them graciously. I was just afraid of becoming trapped, so decided I would prefer to change neighborhoods for the couple of days.
I never worry about somebody seeing me enter or exit my van, I have nothing to hide. What I would worry about is parking enforcement. If you're somewhere that it's actually being enforced, then you better adhere to it. Other than that, I wouldn't worry a lot about it.
I pick up other people's trash in my neighborhood. Just like I'd do if I was living in a regular house there. I help find lost pets, toys, or bikes. I give people rides or jump starts, basically anything that any other good neighbor would do. My theory has always been that if you leave people with pleasant memories of your visit, you will be welcomed back if you choose to return. I try to be the no maintenance neighbor that's the first one to step up if somebody else needs something.
This strategy has worked for me for over 50 years now, in cities and towns all across the country. Forget trying to hide or be sneaky/stealth it just doesn't work, not anywhere in a city, unless you're willing to be constantly on the move and looking over your shoulder. The cops and the neighbors both know you don't belong there, and the more you try to hide, the more suspicious your presence becomes.
