Hello from Norcal

[Super_Dave]

Hi, my first post on this forum, been following several of your travels on youtube and related sites. I'm getting to that point of throwing the towel in and going on the road for the foreseeable future. 
Like many others, I have made some bad decisions, spent way to much money, don't really have an income so I'll have to rely on selling my stuff and odd jobs until SS kicks in or an inheritance eventually.
So after many failed relationships and business ventures, I'm stuck in some pretty harsh depression. My dog "Otto"  and sparing my mother from losing a fourth child keeps me alive. But otherwise, I'm done trying and find it hard to maintain a home and pay bills. As some of you know, it's a daily struggle between meltdowns and keeping a gun out of my mouth. And for everyone that suggests therapy, been there, can't afford it and don't want to be drugged up every day. I've yet to find my place in this life and it leaves me with many regrets. I realize the past is over, but the thoughts remain. I need to escape to clear my mind.
I've been researching trailers and Class C's. Leaning towards a trailer as a home base and using the truck to explore. 
I still have to "cut the cord", sell all my stuff, reduce or payoff debt (somehow). Lots of steps ahead to make this a reality. I am an avid outdoorsman, so pulling trailers and four wheeling is second nature. Being in desolate areas is not intimidating, but inviting, and being resourceful comes natural. I'm pretty self sufficient and a bit of a survivalist with many skills. To earn some road money, I have some good experience. From electrical, plumbing, light automotive, equipment operator, creative writer, certified drone pilot, photography, etc. I may have an offer of part time work in Arizona, so I might end up there after I take my time seeing some free BLM and forestry sites, but I still have to take the first steps in planning and selling wisely.
I'm also considering recording and sharing my adventures as many do. I have a very unique domain for the website I will share later. I hope to also create a hub of helping those in need and struggling with life. 
Looking forward to re-inventing my future and meeting many of you on those dusty roads. I'm very open to suggestions, advice, requests, and discussion.
Thank you, and have a great day.

 

[landyachtman]

Welcome to the CRVL forums! To help you learn the ins and outs of these forums, this "Tips, Tricks and Rules" post lists some helpful information to get you started.

Most of our rules boil down to two simple over-riding principles: 1) What you post should provide good information (like your introductory post), and 2) Any response to someone else's post should make them feel glad they are part of this forum community.

We look forward to hearing more from you.

 

[Sofisintown]

Welcome Dave, and best of luck with your plans.
Many of us have been in a similar place, and with time and effort, eventually everything falls in place.

 

[bullfrog]

Sounds like you have too much work to do to have time to be depressed. Remember you have to take care of yourself before you really can deal with others problems. Spend some time looking and researching what you need to do in order to be happy!

 

[talcon]

Welcome Dave - many on the road have suffered depression at one time or another. You’re in good company.

I was in a similar situation and am now on the road. Here are the reasons I chose a cargo trailer over a motor home. I knew I could get a new trailer for about the same amount $$ as a well-used motor home. I also already owned a pickup I am very happy with (it’s a rare Gen3 Tacoma 6-speed manual TRD Off-Road). Many have attested to the cheapness in modern motor home builds, plus that choice ‘used’ would leave me inheriting the previous owners’ problems. I knew I would be driving twisty mountain roads and going down two-tracks with my rig so the 4wd towing a trailer made more sense to me. Frankly I ended up spending twice as much as I thought I would on the trailer after doing research. I ended up choosing all-aluminum (including frame for weight savings), all-welded (for rigidity), with tight 16 inch-on-center studs (many have 24 IOC). Basically, you will pay twice the price for half the weight with all-aluminum. Trailer brakes were also important to me as I knew I would be in the mountains.

Hope I brought up some points to think about. Best of luck in your future travels!


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[eDJ_]

Welcome to the CRVL Forum  

Looking over your skills,  I'm sure you will be able to find lucrative work once you get yourself to an area
that is prosperous and enjoying prosperity.   Steady good paying work can do a lot to improve a man's outlook and get him on his feet again.  Being mobile makes it possible to find these opportunities.

Then you can always find outdoor life nearby or within a reasonable distance.

 

[Super_Dave]

Thank you all for all the generous replies and suggestions. I have looked at the cargo trailer conversion option and love the all metal construction, but I have a tendency to start projects with great optimism and fail to finish if it gets too complicated (ADHD), and money is very tight right now. I would definitely consider a finished unit.
i have owned three pop ups during my years and share a toyhauler with family. I sold my 2WD Tundra and bought an 02 Ford F150 FX4 Supercrew to pull my last pop up, a StarCraft 13RT Toyhauler/slide out. Now I can't touch the price of a Tundra, and that's my first vehicle choice. The Ford has been surprisingly good to me. I wont touch any more slideouts either cuz their too dang heavy and you can't store all your stuff on the floor with the slideout in. So slideouts of any kind are out. I've been looking at Aljos for a trailer and a Lazy Daze for a class C. But they're hard to find in the low price range. I'm open to suggestions.
As for too much time for depression? It's the depression that takes over and kills any drive to do anything, even go fishing. And I once fished competitively and still have all the best tackle you could dream of. I'll sell the bass boat to buy the trailer and have enough left for travel. I'll throw the aluminum boat on top of the truck to maintain my fishing addiction. Hopefully I can pay down my debts with all the stuff that's accumulated.
I made contact with a resort many of you are aware of and offered my skills for a spot and some pay for skilled jobs. I have received a positive reply. But cutting the cord and changing my life over will take some time. I know that I belong out in the open, free to wander.

 

[GypsyJan]

Road trips assuage my depression. Freedom from the S&B will help even more. Dreading the downsizing chores, but hopefully will accomplish that with baby steps. Still have til 2023 to get 'er done. Wishing you peace of mind and newfound energy!

 

[LERCA]

I’m not against suicide but you have a responsibility to your dog and your mother. Have you learned from your mistakes? Are you not going to overspend? Can you discipline yourself? If so then get up and put one foot in front of the other. I’ve been there where I literally and I mean literally got through 5 minutes at a time some days. I’m surprised I’m still here but that’s kind of how life is. All of us have been in some very bad places but it’s not over till it’s really over. And you’ll be fine. I’m wondering if antidepressants would help or a combo?
The point of life is to learn and grow and we don’t do that without challenges. If you haven’t learned from your mistakes then I have no words of wisdom for you. Living in a vehicle has it’s own huge problems. I’ve noticed a lot of misguided romantic ideas. And wherever you go you take yourself with you so there’s no escape ?. Sorry for the tough talk but I had to give the same talk to myself. I do wish you all the best from SoCal and hope you’ll update us.

 

[talcon]

Road trips assuage my depression. Freedom from the S&B will help even more. Dreading the downsizing chores, but hopefully will accomplish that with baby steps. Still have til 2023 to get 'er done. Wishing you peace of mind and newfound energy!

Very nicely put! I am remembering the overwhelming feeling of freedom once everything was downsized, the house was closed out, and I was in my rig headed down the road for the first time. I felt I could do anything at that point. I got thru the preparation chores by keeping my eye on the goal posts and making lots of lists.


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[Super_Dave]

Thank you for your honest response. I'm not touchy about personal matters. How else can one examine the core issues without going deep? As for meds, been there. I think way too many docs are sponsored by these med companies and automatically push way too much of that stuff out there needlessly. As for spending too much money, that is physically impossible at this time. I'm done working a daily slave job and have some good ideas to make some money on the road. I'm pretty mechanically inclined, so I'm sure some mechanical help with fellow travelers can pay a little. I don't want to gouge anybody, but if they can afford to give me a few bucks for many areas of repairs, it will help. I am not naive to boondocking as a long time hunter/fisherman and traversing difficult terrains, and exploring is a thing I've always loved. So one of the tough parts will be parting with my beloved boat. I haven't been without a serious bass boat for decades. So I'm mentally preparing, planning the sales of many antiques and just stuff, as I've lived by the "can't take it with ya rule". Day by day. Thank you.

 

[Super_Dave]

Road trips assuage my depression. Freedom from the S&B will help even more. Dreading the downsizing chores, but hopefully will accomplish that with baby steps. Still have til 2023 to get 'er done. Wishing you peace of mind and newfound energy!

Thank you, same to you.

 

[TooFarGone]

Hi Dave, you spoke absolute truth about depression killing your energy to do even the things you truly love and enjoy. It's a vicious loop when you are in it; yes, being outdoors and physically active can help but you don't have the energy or will to get out there. It's a nasty place to be in. I know. BTDT, paid the dues and paid the tax, more than once -  and somehow at age 72 I'm still standing. There are some days that I'm not only standing, I'm kicking *ss.   There were some pretty bleak stretches of struggle in the past, and the docs never found a pill that worked any magic to lift me out of those episodes of depression. Some of those meds made me physically ill, and others put me in a little pink cloud of mental fog which ain't gonna work if you have to work and earn your living. So, nope.

TL;DR: the struggle is real. I wish you all the best with it. You seem to be in a place where you aren't hurt by tough truths, and ready to take the steps to move your life along in a better direction. Keep us posted. I'm sorry about the boat but it may bless you by its sale and help you enjoy more fishing in the future.

 

[LERCA]

I’m not pushing pills at all. Just for the record. Xanax, an anti anxiety saved and saves my life. But I know there’s no magic cure. Drugs work for some and not for others and I’m not big on them unless you really need them. It was a dumb question because of course you would have tried them if they helped. I hope the open road works. I know traveling lifts my anxiety greatly. I’m a different person when traveling so I hope it works for you.
Happy trails