Convince me not to

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StripperPitOverflow

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im about to buy a van this weekend and begin building it out for a life on the road. I’m going to leave my job, my gf and everything behind. I’m not happy here, and the idea marriage and kids doesn’t excite me. By time I’m ready to hit the road I will have around 100k cash and I think I could live on $1000 a month no problem. I want to make sure I’m not a crazy or shitty person for wanting to do this.
 
Welcome to the CRVL forums StripperPitOverflow! Each of us is responsible for our own happiness. Just make sure that you are going into this with your eyes opened about all of the pluses and minuses and that are you not just running from your current situation into vandwelling as a way to solve your problems.

To help you learn the ins and outs of these forums, this "Tips, Tricks and Rules" post lists some helpful information to get you started.

Most of our rules boil down to two simple over-riding principles: 1) What you post should provide good information (like your introductory post), and 2) Any response to someone else's post should make them feel glad they are part of this forum community.

We look forward to hearing more from you.
 
You have to choose what makes you happy in life, not what other people expect of you.

That being said, if you have personal issues the nomad lifestyle won't automatically fix them.

Wecome to the forum and choosing a mobile life doesn't mean you're crazy or a shitty person.
 
StripperPitOverflow said:
I want to make sure I’m not a crazy or shitty person for wanting to do this.

You would be a crazy, shitty person if you got into a marriage and family you didn't really want and continued in a life that made you unhappy.
 
You come out here to sit around on scrub land and twirl your thumbs youre probably not going to be welcomed back. Hedge your bets and do 1-3 month trial.
 
SPO, I perceive from your description that you're a fairly young dude (not ready for marriage), and dreaming of a life of "freedom". Ha, I remember when that was me.

The "only" thing you need convincing of is that buying a van and going on the road is not a one-way street. It's an experience with life. It's something you try, which is what life is all about. The more different kinds of experiences you get, the better you can decide which is the "next" step you're gonna take. You can always go back to a regular S&B life or not. It's that simple. You try different things, and see how they fit.

That being said, no matter what I would keep the van, even if returning to the regular world, for trips and weekend getaways. Then you can have it both ways, if that's what suits you. When I was young, I put 100,000 miles on my first van, full-time and part-time, seeing the country on many different trips. On my first major trip, I decided I wanted to go to grad school, which is what I did.
 
If you are unhappy with a gf and a job, I think you have a right to leave. A gf and regular job are not contract arrangements like a marriage or an enlisted term with the military -- those parties can come after you if you just up and leave -- but a gf and a regular job are "at will," i.e. both parties can terminate the arrangement whenever they want, for any reason -- although there's probably a "good" way to do it and a "bad" way to do it.

$100k in savings puts you in the top percentile of folks here, I think. Just look at the number of posts along the lines of "I have no money, and I just bought a $2,000 van that is falling apart. But I need to leave right now, and I really want to do this so..." And then they a post a few weeks later along the lines of "I broke down. Stuck and no money. Please help."

I am a compulsive planner. That isn't always a good thing, but I couldn't imagine setting out with an unreliable vehicle and no money. I'd be scared to death on the road. And I know that going on an adventure unprepared is a recipe for disaster. I watched a documentary recently about people moving to Alaska (sorry, don't remember the documentary name), and there was a segment where a young settler was roaming around the backwoods showing the cameraman abandoned cabins.

It was eerie. It's apparent that a LOT of people try to just move to Alaska all the time, and have done so for decades. The guy showed cabins that were clearly built in the 60's and 70's, with that era's fashion and architectural senses on display, as well as more recent cabins abandoned just a few years ago. All told a story: crappy handwork, insufficient insulation, etc. And you could almost see the people, like in a vision, arriving at their new lot full of energy and hope -- "This is it, honey. We're gonna do it. We don't have money, and we don't know anything about Alaska, but we'll do it." In your mind's eye, you can almost see them in winter, huddled over a dwindling fire in -40 weather, ice forming on their eyebrows, misery and desperation in their eyes. And by the springtime, they were gone... whether it was a few years ago or 50 years ago, and all that is left is the eerie, abandoned cabins.

It's also apparent that people try this lifestyle and quietly abandon it all the time, like new Alaskans, because it's just too hard to do with no funds. There is a sticky on the forum somewhere with a list of blogs run by members. Click on all of the links and you'll find that half of them are dead blogs -- abandoned years ago or recently, but dead. Someone recently linked an article here that was written by a guy who started a new vanlife (along with his girlfriend) in an unreliable vehicle. It was hell for them. It kept them awake with stress. I have no doubt that a few really tough and motivated people can do it, just as a few really tough and motivated people can arrive in Alaska with nothing and make something happen. People either underestimate what it takes... or they overestimate how tough they are. Bob made an excellent video recently about the vanlife "fairy tale" and makes a similar point, warning against setting out with no emergency fund and an unreliable vehicle.

Anyway, sorry for the soapbox rant that has little to do with your situation! Bottom line is you are already more prepared financially than probably 90% of folks here who are doing it. I would definitely get a reliable van if I were you, and I would spend money on making it more reliable (engine/transmission, suspension, brakes, good A/T tires). Then I would do the build-out. That's just me.

$100k is an interesting amount. It's way more than an emergency fund, but it's not really enough to live on. Withdrawing 4% gets you $4,000 a year -- or $333 a month. That helps out tremendously, but it's not sufficient for most people, from what I've understood. There are people here who survive on that much, but more people report that they "thrive" on more, probably closer to the $1,000 a month you mentioned. I've read RV blogs where people spend $3,000 a month. How do you plan to make money on the road? Anyway, $100k a huge buffer and will allow you to prepare well and meet any emergency you may come across on the road. That's worth a lot right there. I can't wait to see pics of your van and to hear more about your story and plans.

badmotorscooter said:
if you have personal issues the nomad lifestyle won't automatically fix them.

As Buckaroo Banzai once said, "Wherever you go, there you are."
 
Is your gf expecting your child soon?  Do you already have a child with her?  If so, you do have some responsibilities to her.  If you are running out on this sort of responsibility then, yes, you are indeed a shitty person.
 
See if the GF wants to travel with you, you might be surprised. Start a YouTube channel, make scantily clad videos of the two of you cavorting in beautiful destinations, and get 1000s of subscribers, and many advertisements paying you to do so.
 
Haha, I forgot that! Make sure your gf has a killer bod and get plenty of sunset shots with her doing yoga on the van roof. Make sure to take lots of pics looking out the back of the van onto a beach with you and your gf's feet sticking out. In fact, use Photoshop to add the Milky Way. :)
 
MG1912 said:
  Click on all of the links and you'll find that half of them are dead blogs -- abandoned years ago or recently, but dead.  

One of those is probably mine, I started a blog when I set out but gave up on the blog after about 3 months.  I never gave up on vanlife however.  The blog is a lot of work with very little reward.
 
Your remark about leaving EVERYTHING behind sorta sounds like you're trying to runaway from yourself? Hopefully that is not the case. I would have been happier if you'd included a line about being excited about traveling or exploring rather than just hitting the road. But either way I understand and hope you have an excellent adventure. You'll easily be able to travel for a few years stress free and still have plenty of money to reestablish yourself somewhere more to your liking or pursue a different career. I'd fill in the GF about your plans this weekend so she also has the option of moving on and pursuing her dreams as well.

Good luck,
Bill
 
StripperPitOverflow said:
im about to buy a van this weekend and begin building it out for a life on the road. I’m going to leave my job, my gf and everything behind. I’m not happy here, and the idea marriage and kids doesn’t excite me. By time I’m ready to hit the road I will have around 100k cash and I think I could live on $1000 a month no problem. I want to make sure I’m not a crazy or shitty person for wanting to do this.

Convince you NOT to do it? That's easy.

So you are unhappy/bored in your life, relationship and job. Just what about being cold, hot, shoved into a closet, pooping in a bucket, not having showers, not being able to stand with a minimal amount of stuff do you find appealing? Have you been camping? For a night, a weekend, a few weeks even?  I hope you REALLY liked it because you are choosing to do a long term reset on your life and singing Kumbaya around a campfire gets old fast.

Somethings that are not in your post

What are you planning on doing out here? Sometimes the building out of the vehicle and amassing the stuff is more fun than actually doing it. Are you going to travel/sightsee? Do you plan on hiding out and reading? Are you inspired to meet people to camp with? It can be pretty boring out here without a purpose.

On your budget of $1000 a month. Have you actually sat down and listed your expenses? You will not be paying rent but you will be paying insurance, plates on your van, a P.O. box with forwarding if you do not have someone to let you use their address. Food is a big expense if you do not feel like eating rice and beans forever. Travel requires gas. Attractions have fees. Done right phone and internet can be affordable. Done wrong they can get pretty expensive fast. Vehicles need tires, oil changes, tune ups, brakes, etc. What about health insurance?

You have chosen a van...why? It is tiny space that will be packed with the things you will need just to survive out here, People say they do not live in their van, they live out of it. The truth is when the monsoon hit, when it's freezing cold, terribly windy or the insects want to eat you alive you live IN  your van.  How long can you sit in a closet and not go crazy? It could be days or weeks.

Hot and cold...People think that they can follow the 70's but what do you do when there are none to be found? Two out of the three years that I have been to the RTR it was cold. I had a purpose to be there so taking off was not a option. When it did warm up this year it got HOT. When it gets hot you go up in altitude except while it was 100 degrees in Quartzsite, it was freezing cold and snowing at altitude. You had the choice between freezing you butt off or cooking.

Camping with people can be fun. There are some very kind, generous, knowledgeable and agreeable people out here. Then again there are some real losers out here too. Mental issues, abuse issues, fears, and oh yeah...users. There are people that do not want to pay for or do anything for themselves. They can take "can you do me a favor?" to a art form. Everything from fixing up their stuff to feeding them. Once they know that you are nice they become cling ons, Once they use you up they will move on to the next person or group and use them until they wise up.

You can be a loner of course. What is your plan if you get sick or injured and can not take care of yourself? What about if your van breaks down?

You say that you are starting to build out your van soon. How are you knowing what to do and what to put in it? You tube, the forum? Those are great suggestions and starting points but you will not know if they work until you get out here. I am willing to bet that in the beginning you will spend plenty of money getting what you actually need once you get some experience. It's easy to think that it's okay to sacrifice comfort and eat out of a can or pouch. Doing it can suck in reality.

Last thing I will mention is you should know that living the way we do is against the law and you may end up with a ticket. People in a RV tend to have it easier because they could be a snowbird or be on vacation. Rangers tend to see people in vans as dwellers and may treat them differently.

So now then. Now that you know that it isn't all rainbows, unicorn farts and beautiful sunsets, do you really want to live in a van?
 
Great post. Hard to convey to folks youre not on vacation. Its not some grand adventure. Only thing i know is always try it first. I even tell ppl especially ppl of some means do not get a van. Its living in a shoe box.
 
It all depends on your personal feelings. No one can tell you yes or no. It is your choice.

Now that we have established it as your choice, why are you doing it? To find happiness? That comes from within.

Know why you are doing it, what you want to accomplish by doing it. If you don't know, do it temporarily.
 
I can't help noticing who you ask if you are crazy. Folks who don't know you. So, yeah. You are crazy.

Now we have established that you are crazy I think there are worse ways to deal with it than go nomadding. Just realize that wherever you go, there you are. You can't escape your crazy. Ever. But sometimes it is better to move than stay and do something you will regret for the rest of your life. Somewhere in there is where you choose to be a shitty person or not.

The ones you really should talk to are the folks that care about you, and those who have a legitimate stake in your life.

Like others before me, I wondered about children or pregnancy. That is a classic shitty person move to run from. It is shitty to walk out on your kids. Unless of course your crazy is also dangerous.

What is with the name StripperPitOverflow?

If you are serious you should step up and share more. I am new here myself but I am thrilled at the depth of life experience and knowledge available here. Screw judgement. In the present moment there is never any problem: life is perfect, until we judge. But choosing not to share is a judgment call. Your judgment call. Self knowledge is a life long process. Do be gentle with yourself.
 
StripperPitOverflow said:
im about to buy a van this weekend and begin building it out for a life on the road. I’m going to leave my job, my gf and everything behind. I’m not happy here, and the idea marriage and kids doesn’t excite me. By time I’m ready to hit the road I will have around 100k cash and I think I could live on $1000 a month no problem. I want to make sure I’m not a crazy or shitty person for wanting to do this.

If you really want to runaway you don't have to build a van.
An air mattress from walmart, a sleeping bag (or blankets from the thrift store), a camp chair, a TV tray for a table, an led head lamp, a butane can stove to make your coffee (or  propane camp stove) and a pot to make the coffee in are enough to get you on the way.

Only you know what you're running from....
 
It is up to your mommy, daddy, girlfriend, boss etc to try to convince you to do stuff but most likely even they are too busy to bother trying to convince a grown man of anything. Besides it is already obvious they were not able to do such a thing.
 
If the idea is truly pulling you then chances are you will keep thinking about it until you at least try. Just put a lot of thought into what you want to accomplish and the intentions and motivations behind your decision.

Do you have previous experience traveling and sleeping in a vehicle or outside multiple days in a row?

If not I would say take a weeklong trip somewhere and get a taste to see how it feels and if its something you could do long term.

Thats all I can say really. Do whatever you want just think long and hard about all considerations.

Best of luck.
 
You are never a crappy person for doing what you think is best for yourself.....unless you are truly hurting others while doing it. :) walking away from a gf if there is no grand commitments etc., sure go for it.

Do what you want, when you want, how you want. Not a thing wrong with that. Go try it and if it doesn't suit you, you can settle down in any new location and start another lifestyle etc. as you please.

Nothing is black and white mostly.....shades of grey all around us, try whatever lifestyles that suit you and change things up as you need in your life as you want it. happy trails~!
 
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