being kind and calming fears

[twokniveskatie]

i hope the discussion from the&nbsp;"ever been caught"&nbsp;thread... about treating each other with kindness..... and some of the negative feelings it has created, can continue here.&nbsp;<div><br></div><div>my greatest concern is Butterfly, and her feelings about safety if dealing with this sort of interaction in a face-to-face situation.</div><div><br></div><div>this is not for "person bashing". it is all about support and tribe and how we can make this place better and better....</div>

 

[Suanne]

<DIV>my greatest concern is Butterfly, and her feelings about safety if dealing with this sort of interaction in a face-to-face situation.

</DIV><DIV>&nbsp;</DIV><DIV>Butterfly,</DIV><DIV>&nbsp;&nbsp; I hope you find your way over to this part of the forum to see my response.&nbsp; I was at the RTR last year, solo, in my car.&nbsp; I was there for almost the whole time, with one mid-RTR excursion to Joshua Tree for some alone time.</DIV><DIV>&nbsp;</DIV><DIV>&nbsp; In my RTR experience, 99% of the interactions I observed were positive, uplifting, informative and enjoyable.&nbsp; For the 1% of the interactions that caused my insides to squirm at bit, I was very pleased to&nbsp;watch&nbsp;how it was handled and directed toward something more positive, or stopped.&nbsp; I saw no physical posturing nor heard any raised voices.&nbsp; I fully expect a similar experience next January.</DIV><DIV>&nbsp;</DIV><DIV>That being said, I will remain conscience of my surroundings and will leave or move if I feel uncomfortable.&nbsp;&nbsp; </DIV><DIV>&nbsp;</DIV><DIV>As with many of us who live out of a vehicle, I consider myself a loner.&nbsp;&nbsp; Other than those I've met online in forums like this, the RTR is the only other "gathering" where I'm with others who are similar to me ... my tribe.&nbsp; I don't want one person to get in the way of these developing friendships.</DIV><DIV>&nbsp;</DIV><DIV>I hope to meet you in January.</DIV><DIV>&nbsp;</DIV><DIV>Suanne</DIV>

 

[Guest]

Well said ladies....<br><br>as far as addressing the armed to the teeth thing....rest assured that I am not armed to the teeth and even though there is no thread on the wisdom of having arms or not...feel certain that at least a few of us of us feel they are not a necessary part of our path and I&nbsp; have never felt threatened by anyone in the Vandweller tribe, certainly not any that are armed.. <br><br>&nbsp;And think of all the people who will protect you if the bad chaps come to get us...;^)<br><br>Bri<br><br><br>

 

[sl1966]

The only thing I'll be armed with is my beagle, and she has teeth. She prefers to use her nose and tongue more.<div><br></div>

 

[dragonflyinthesky]

The only thing I'll be armed with is my beagle, and she has teeth. She prefers to use her nose and tongue more.<DIV><BR>Armed? I will be well armed and I'm bringing my cat Fluffy.</DIV>

 

[butterfly]

<FONT size=3 face="Tahoma, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">In my immediate reaction to the "been caught" thread I began having all kinds of scary "what if's" run thru my mind...and feeling vulnerable about putting myself in an unfamiliar situation: the desert, camping, a large group of strangers, being stuck in a 15' by 5' space w/ hubby 2,000 miles from home!&nbsp;&nbsp; yikes!&nbsp;&nbsp; wondered if I'd been looking at it all thru rose colored glasses.</FONT><br><FONT size=3 face="Tahoma, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">&nbsp;</FONT><br><FONT size=3 face=Tahoma>Thanks Suanne, Bri&nbsp;for calming my fears...&nbsp; Have read your blog Suanne and am blown away by your ingenuity for travel in the Prius....</FONT><br><FONT size=3 face=Tahoma></FONT>&nbsp;<br><FONT size=3 face=Tahoma>Bri, hubby has a pistol in his sock drawer and I'm not afraid of him or the gun but my thought is his gun needs to remain in&nbsp;OH when we leave for RTR.......he's so gung- ho to spend winter in AZ, I can't very well change our plans.</FONT><br><FONT size=3 face=Tahoma></FONT>&nbsp;<br><FONT size=3 face=Tahoma></FONT>&nbsp;<br>

 

[Guest]

Hi butterfly, <br>That is a difficult one but you two need to do what you think is best.<br><br>I am not going to touch the gun thing.....sorry I can't help with it.<br><br>There is a thread on firearms and if you look there you can see what those that carry have, do and think but no other thoughts about it are welcome in that thread or on the forum.<br><br>Bri<br><br>

 

[twokniveskatie]

<div>Bri- i don't remember either Bob or i saying there was a restriction on any gun discussions. if we have, please let me know where. i'm gettin' kinda old and forgetful.</div><div><br></div><div>i did want to have one thread where people who enjoyed guns or chose to carry guns could discuss it without recrimination or judgement. i don't remember saying there could be no other discussion about it. it sounds like i'm stifling expression here, and if i am, i need to have that pointed out for me.</div><div><br></div><div>thanks,&nbsp;</div><div>kate</div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div>

Hi butterfly, <br>That is a difficult one but you two need to do what you think is best.<br><br>I am not going to touch the gun thing.....sorry I can't help with it.<br><br>There is a thread on firearms and if you look there you can see what those that carry have, do and think but no other thoughts about it are welcome in that thread or on the forum.<br><br>Bri<br><br>

 

[BackToBasics]

<P><FONT size=3>Eh, I'm a little young and unknown here, but the human animal tends to avoid violent conflict unless there's something wrong with that human animal up in the attic, if you know what I mean.. Yeah, we all tend to argue sometimes, especially when we're passionate about something, but I don't think anyone's going to hurt each other over it, especially since most here seem to be adults.. If I can learn to cap my temper at 23, with hormones in full force, I'd think the older folks can cap theirs even better.. hopefully.</FONT></P>

 

[Butternut]

<p><font size="3">Eh, I'm a little young and unknown here, but the human animal tends to avoid violent conflict unless there's something wrong with that human animal up in the attic, if you know what I mean.. Yeah, we all tend to argue sometimes, especially when we're passionate about something, but I don't think anyone's going to hurt each other over it, especially since most here seem to be adults.. If I can learn to cap my temper at 23, with hormones in full force, I'd think the older folks can cap theirs even better.. hopefully.</font></p>

<br><br><font size="3"><font face="Courier">Here here! While 23 was definitely not the peek of my hormones (I must have been ahead of the game?) we have all had many years to learn to control our tempers on the face of conflict. Besides, it's much easier to mouth off in text then in person (talk to my niece if you don't believe me). </font></font><br>

 

[Guest]

Hi Kate,<br>Just read the first three posts on the firearms thread....first you invite debate and when Bill posts his view you come back with the statement that debate is not welcome on the thread....(paraphrased of course since I am heading to Mexico for the day and have to come back to this later)....<br>By having a thread on who, how and what you carry regards to firearms, you invite only those who choose to carry and offering no welcome for those that choose not to, you are implying it is ok to carry and you don't want to hear from those who don't.<br><br>I may way off the road here but that is what I read....<br><br>If you want to open a thread on the moral and ethical value and repercussions of carrying a firearm, that would be inclusive...hot topic and maybe shouldn't be here ....but if there is a thread on carrying, it only makes sense to me that there should be one on why we do or don't. Is it a given that you and others who carry are the last word on it?<br><br>I don't claim to know the reality but it is extremely confusing to this ol' idjit!<br><br>Maybe someone else can chime in and if I am way off base I will shut up.<br><br>I found myself unable to respond to Butterfly and her gun question without feeling I am on very shaky and unsure ground.<br>Bri<br><br>

 

[Guest]

Hi Kate...I have to head to Mexico for the day but will address that when I get back....I had it written but I inadvertently deleted it...damn....<br>Bri<br>

 

[4x4tour]

Bri, <br><br>From what I took of Kate's comment, I thought she was just affirming your right to discuss firearm ownership/usage, without fear of being chastised.&nbsp; I could be wrong (just woke up).<br><br>AJ<br><br>

 

[twokniveskatie]

hi guys! tried to get on before with my cel phone, but got busted. sorry to those of you who were trying to chat me up, but couldn't figure out how to hit send on my phone!<div><br></div><div>most of my stuff is done and i'll be heading back to the farm. just wanted to give a quick response to Bri.</div><div><br></div><div>i went back and read the first 3 posts in that thread. i guess it was my semantics, because in the first post i said "thoughtful discussion" and later responded to Bill "no debate". to me thoughtful discussion and debate are 2 different things, and i should have put more thought into how i framed the initial post, and considered all the things it could have meant to others. my apologies on that.</div><div><br></div><div>that thread was meant to be exclusive to a more "pro-gun" discussion. as AJ said, it is very difficult to have a discussion about gun carry and self defense with people who are against it. we do not want to argue "if" but rather discuss "how".</div><div><br></div><div>i have no problem with a thread about whether or not people should carry guns! i opened several other threads discussing other ways of self-protection, so that everyone could find a discussion that suited them. you are welcome to start a thread to discuss the moral and ethical aspects of gun carry. i will even start one for the group if you like. i have no interest in that type of discussion, but affirm the rights of others to do so. really!</div><div><br></div><div>no one should have to defend their beliefs. i have some friends who "know" i need to change my beliefs on religion, since i am "doing it wrong" and am bound for hell. i find that extremely offensive. i don't insert myself into their lives or church's or discussions and tell them what they should believe.&nbsp;</div><div><br></div><div>same with many other things, like politics. and gun ownership.&nbsp;</div><div><br></div><div>it is common to see anti-gun folks telling the pro-gun folks it is wrong to carry. i rarely see a pro-gun person telling someone why it is wrong to "not carry".&nbsp;</div><div><br></div><div>but absolutely, anti-gun folks should be able to voice their thoughts and feelings and opinions. we will start a thread for that purpose. i won't likely participate, because i respect their right to freedom of thought. i have no desire or reason to change them.</div><div><br></div><div>i hear ya about feeling on shaky ground. i agonized for months about adding the gun thread. my experience is that i have personally been belittled and judged, and that flame wars erupt. i so wanted to have a safe place to discuss the issues. i get many emails from people &nbsp;(especially women) from our circle who have questions and concerns about self-protection, but don't feel comfortable to bring it up, for fear of being told they are paranoid or not spiritual enough, among other things.</div><div><br></div><div>i propose a thread for discussion of "the other side" of weapon carrying. those with issues against it will be welcome to share their thoughts. i'm not so sure we need a "debate" thread? why do we need to change anybody's minds? is that the purpose of any part of this forum?</div><div><br></div><div>please, i welcome response here.&nbsp;</div><div><br></div><div>kate</div>

 

[4x4tour]

Kate. <br><br>I just LOL'd when thinking just how many new members (if any) pre-judged you based on the "two knives" part.&nbsp; Personally, I think you should copyright it and open up a knife store <img src="https://vanlivingforum.com/images/boards/smilies/idea.gif" align="absmiddle" border="0">,&nbsp; but I can't help but wonder what others think at first glance.&nbsp; Interested as to your thoughts, if any...&nbsp; I'm glad i didn't use "swat guy" or "k9 cop" ...lol&nbsp;&nbsp; <br><br><br><br><br><br>

 

[4x4tour]

Bri, <br><br>

<span id="post_message_1269851977">Hi Kate...I have to head to Mexico for the day but will address that when I get back....I had it written but I inadvertently deleted it...damn....<br>Bri</span>

<br><br>It's been doing that to me for the past week or so.&nbsp; You have to go back a page and refresh a few times, then it will show back up. <br><br>

 

[4x4tour]

Remember Pulp Fiction's "Chill honey bunny" part?&nbsp; lol&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; <br><br>I didn't mean you.&nbsp; I didn't want to be specific.&nbsp; I was just curious if Kate had similar instances...&nbsp; No biggie. <br><br>Honestly though, you'd be one of the safest people on the planet, if Gunner (my fully trained 7yrd old german shepherd) and I showed up...&nbsp; lol <br><br>

<br><br>

 

[4x4tour]

Classic:<br><br><br><br>

 

[Butternut]

Remember Pulp Fiction's "Chill honey bunny" part?&nbsp; lol&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; <br><br>I didn't mean you.&nbsp; I didn't want to be specific.&nbsp; I was just curious if Kate had similar instances...&nbsp; No biggie. <br><br>Honestly though, you'd be one of the safest people on the planet, if Gunner (my fully trained 7yrd old german shepherd) and I showed up...&nbsp; lol <br><br>

<br><br><font size="3"><font face="Courier">That is one unbelievably gorgeous dog</font></font><br>

 

[dragonflyinthesky]

<P>Wow AJ, this isn't really my fault, I mean you put the visuals in my head "I'm glad i didn't use "swat guy" or "k9 cop"&nbsp;&nbsp;and this is what came out.&nbsp; Just delete it if you want.<IMG border=0 align=absMiddle src="https://vanlivingforum.com/images/boards/smilies/crazy.gif">&nbsp;Yes, I was often sent to the principles office for things like this when I was in school.<BR></P>