24/7 Chat About Anything

[Gypsy108]

yeah...you are right again Maki ....it just seemed so normal to me to have the option of living in a car if nessesarry.....i can see how it would freak someone out that hasn't watched videos of nomads, etc.    Good idea to suggest them visiting me at the campsite.....my daughter loves camping with her husband.....

Thanks  :heart:

 

[JohnnyM]

Hey Nature Lover,

Good to see you're still goin'.

Keep the shiny side up!

Johnny

 

[desert_sailing]

I think most of us who have transitioned into an alternative lifestyle have been classified as being a bit whack by others. Virtually everyone I know thought that of me when I bought a van... When society in general is as depraved as we currently see.. its a badge of honor to be considered not one of the herd.

I share many projects with others looking for some kind of feedback/reassurance etc. and I know now its a huge mistake.
I have always heard of "not letting your right hand know what your left is doing".. and of course in proverbs it speaks about" those that keep their tongue keep their life"

Ive recently heard 4 times in 4 days about this and have dug more into the concept. I had never quite explored what these statements mean.

https://www.pickthebrain.com/keeping-goals-secret-best-way-successful/

    “By disclosing your goals you will dissipate valuable energy needed to accomplish them, as well as set up opposition from those who wish to control you.

    Most people will try to talk you out of your goals. They dislike seeing anyone having more or doing better than they are, and will resort to almost any extreme to put down someone who tries to break away from mediocrity.

Don’t give nay-sayers an opportunity to rip apart your ideas before you even get started.


https://exploringyourmind.com/6-things-that-are-better-kept-secret-according-to-hinduism/

"Sometimes, when you communicate a desire or an objective, there are those who, far from sharing your goals, share their skepticism. Or even worse, they criticize you. Be cautious and don’t hesitate to keep secret those personal summits that you dream of reaching someday."

"Sharing your goals with only the most positive members of your support alliance is perhaps an exception to the rule."

I have had far too many people try to piss on my parade over the years. It is a hard lesson to learn especially when you think they have your back.  Reach our own goals and desires without the need for petting by others. 

Don't let the cat out of the bag!

 

[maki2]

It helps to have always been a woman who did not follow a cookie cutter pathway. No one in my family even blinked when I moved to Alaska at 19, took a jiob as an aircraft mechanic in my late 20s, learned to fly an airplane.
That I got got a VW bus and moved cross country for a job while on layoff at Boeing, that went solo camping in Europe in my 50s. They expected things like remodeling my own house. Fixing up a tiny 50 year old fiberglass trailer with solar power to live in full time is not weird behavior for me. . My designated personality type in my family when it come up in conversations is ""free spirited artist". I am unique in that among the 5 of us kids but not demeaned for it by siblings or parents but then I am practical too, I know how to do stuff, so they do not worry about me.

The issues come when you make a radical change out of character with who people expect you to be. Changes they have never considered to be part of your personality. If you have never fit into a single style of box for most of your life then no one thinks too much of it when you change the box you live out of. If you had talked for years about RV travel when you got older no one would think much of your heading to the desert or going on very long trips. They would have long since expected you to do it. It is sudden change people have the most trouble accepting.

 

[Gypsy108]

yep....when i bought that van a few years back everyone thought i was nuts then too.......i am the black sheep of the family.....but they all love me just the same....they just worry about me because i am "old" now.....(that's what they say) "I'm old"  .....ha !    My mother was also not the typical stereotype woman....she ran away from home at 12 years old...got tattoos & ears pierced long before it was popular....was in the circus....kidnapped by gypsies....lived in a bordello in mexico...had several successful businesses...college graduate in her 50's....i could go on & on....at 95 years young she would still be working full time if her body wasn't giving her so many problems.....oh....and she loved to play poker at the casinos !!! She was good at it too !!! She also hunted & owned sever rifles & guns....and LOVES fishing !!!

Anyways.....i never was a follower, or fit into the mainstream ......

Who was your roll model Maki ?


VERY interesting article Desert_Sailing !!!   Now i will have to make everyone think i have come to my senses.....as i continue to make my plans ..........they blew it , as for asking me  anymore questions or wanting to know how i'm doing.....i don't like being dishonest with my family....but i will not let anyone stop me from doing what i need to do for myself.....they will find out after.....and will eventually be ok when they see i'm doing just fine..................

 

[crofter]

....Avoid telling anyone you are living in your vehicle. Just say you are on an extended camping trip, being a snow bird heading to the Southwest for winter warmth, sunshine and fun. Do not present it as a major lifestyle change to living in a vehicle. .

And getting family used to connecting by email only or texting. That way they don't freak out when you are out of cell range.

Seems that others do project their fears onto you, when actually you are not in anymore danger than anyplace else on the planet.
-crofter

 

[maki2]

I do not think I have ever had a roll model and ceryainly have never looked for one. I always knew who I was and where I wanted to go, I knew it by the age of 5 when I could conceptualize such thoughts. I am still that way. Some seem born uncertain and never loose that feeling. They spend their whole lives searching for answers to that. For some reason many of the perpetually lost semn to think people who have no need of that search are to be defined as "shallow". As in don't you want to know the meaning of life? My answer to that is, I have known it all along and the answer is not in a book.

 

[maki2]

Gypsy108..as your daughter and son in law enjoy camping the fastest way to spin them into being supportive is to ask them for advice about camping gear.

You can start with what is their favorite store for buying gear. Maybe even ask them to go along to look for some of the things you need to purchase. Ask about what they like to cook. What brand of bug replellent they like. Show them things like your new battery and solar panel stuff.

You have the perfect opportunity for some bonding on a whole new level. You can turn them into a terrific support system. But just take it slow and easy, start with gear, do not mention permanent life changes or trouble at home. Do not talk about fears other than stuff like how to change a flat tire. That is perfectly a acceptable concern to ask advice about from your daughter or son in law. So is lighting a camp stove. Checking battery cables. How lovely to have them mentor you in that way as will buid trust and their enthusiasm. They will end up wanting you to suceed and have fun!

 

[NctryBen]

Haha, you’ll fit right in. I think Cammula should send you an official YARC sticker. This would be to verify your mental status... haha. Sounds like you need to get out and make some good friends and lighten up your life. I used to just pack up and go on canoe trips for weeks at a time. My body isn’t letting me do that anymore. So I thought I’d try a little boondocking and such. Now my older son goes and buys a travel trailer and him, his wife and their five kids will be camping nearby around Christmas. Probably making sure I’ll be ok since my latest little bout with health issues. But Gypsy108, be upfront when you need to be. I worry there could be plans behind your back to mess up your plans. Not sure what kind of control issues if any are there. But maki2 had a great idea in engaging your daughter and son in law in possible camping equipment and such. But remind them that at least for now you’ll be in a small space and for you less is more as far as stuff. Does your son camp or have interests that might be of help? Getting your car checked out sooner then later is probably a good idea too in case there are issues that should be addressed further delaying things. Stay focused and stick to your guns... well, plans... I suppose guns isn’t very politically correct anymore even if it’s not really guns your referring to. Haha.
Maybe check out the caravans getting organized. Maybe there is a group that would include you and mentor you as you get started. Personally, I couldn’t be tied to that. But it could be a good way to start out. Anyways, everyone seems so interesting. Maki2 a pilot and aircraft mechanic? Seems to be a lot of good heads out there... far from being compromised by any kind of mental illness... including you Gypsy... hang in there! Don’t let anyone make you out to be any older then you are...

 

[maki2]

I just learned to flly a little Cessna 150. A bit scary to try to get everything just right for landing and takeoff. It was fun to do but a challenge emotionaly as well. I do have anxiety fears at times when learning such things including using noisy power tools that can remove body parts. I get anxiety when driving along steep mountain dropoffs. Driving in super busy freeway traffic in cities also bothers me. But I do it anyway when that is how I must go to get to where I want to be.

Fear of failure and fear of injury are normal human emotions. Being constantly overwhelmed by those emotions in non life threatening situations is something that needs to be addressed as it creates way too much stress in mind and body. There are lots of books and even TV shows that can provide the help needed to make it easier to deal with those emotions.

I spent 13 years being married to an agrophobic whonhad high anxiety and some paranio too. As a resut of being yoked to such a partner, unable to go on camping trips or even to the movies with him, havigf him whine about going to a local restaurant, I am very tired of hand holding. All I really want to do is tell people is to quit with the whining and just get on with it it if that is your goal. And if you cant do the work of getting over the fear then figure out how to be happy where you are. But that is rarely going to do any good with persons who are emotionally kidnapped by their own fears as well as depression. Bob Wells is an excellent hand holder, I am not. But I do understand a bit about getting what you need out of a conversation. Biut that isin books. Dale Carniege wrote a classic on the subject...How to Make friends andI Influence People. Herb Conen also wrote a classic...How To Negotiate Anything. These are not mental health books, they are life Skills books. Read them and get unstuck from conversations that escalate into unproductive directions.

 

[Gypsy108]

Gypsy108, anymore progress on the “house”? Have you tried the bed out? 

I only tried the bed out when i initially set it up....haven't slept in it overnight or anything....i am limited as to how much i can do in a day...takes a lot of energy out of me just to haul that mattress out to the unattached garage & back into the house.   I can't leave anything in the car or get it set up permanently, until i'm ready to leave....so everything is done in increments....after i set up my bed, everything else will go in the trunk/cargo area.  I will set it up so daily things will have easy access from the back seat.....

Next week I'm taking it to a neighborhood car mechanic shop for inspection. 

I am in the process of calming everyone down so they won't suspect me leaving.  It is taking a toll on me. I won't be able to hold out much longer....hopefully nothing major will be wrong with my car....i think after the inspection, if all is well...it won't be long before i leave..... 

@Maki,  I know i should do all those things you mention to bond with my kids about this....i think once i'm out on the road and they see how i'm doing will be the litmus test....i will keep in touch with them so they don't worry.....but i will ask them some questions as to what gear they use, etc.   I also have a sister that is a avid camper with her husband & kids....

@NcTryBen, yes...i believe i will fit in YARC ....is that also in the "Magic Circle "  ?   :heart:

I'm really looking forward to meeting everyone  :heart:

 

[Gypsy108]

 Being constantly  overwhelmed by those emotions  in non life threatening situations is something that needs to be addressed as it creates way too much stress in mind and body. 

I've been in a state of fight & flight way beyond what's normal, for 30 years.....living with a pathological liar & cheater...

The first time i flew in a airplane it was a pontoon plane on the lake we had a cabin on.  The next experience was a 4 passenger plane .....i loved it !!!    I once wanted to take flying lessons....but i couldn't afford it.   My step-father had a pilots license & flew.....

Were you in the Airforce ?

 

[maki2]

Gsy108 you say there is an inspection on a car holding you back for months? I say that is just another delaying tactic so you do not have to face up to any troublesome news. Just pick up the phone and get it done, inspections are eady to schedule and do not take a lot of hours. Then you can face up to the repairs you can't afford to have done. That is real reason you are procrastinating getting it done.The reason that likely will keep you from leaving is of course money. Or... you might find out it only needs a few things to make it ready for a drive to Arizona. Which monetarily is also very scary.

 

[Gypsy108]

Maki…. I said the inspection is NEXT WEEK

I’m not that stupid I would just take off without making sure things are done right
AND WHEN I AM F%#^*ing READY

 

[Gypsy108]

I’d have it done today but I don’t have enough money to pay for it NOW

 

[maki2]

Yep lack of money is the cause of many things.

I do want to get my suspension components checked. My vehicle is a 2006 but still relatively low mileage at 75k. However a year of camping off of Forest Service and BLM roads with washboard stuff could be causing some extra suspension wear. No strange noises but best to get an inspection done which is easier to do up on a hoist. If I was in Wa, Oregon or some areas in California the Less Schwab Stores would that inspection for free, along with other road safety inspections, tires, brakes, alignment, batterty etc. Stuff that is easy to check with a visual inspection.

Not something I will do here by the Grand Canyon. It can wait until I get to Pahrump, Lake Havasu, Kingman, etc, places where there are more repair shops in a town.

 

[Gypsy108]

I’m not gonna let nothing stop me… haha… if my car is not road worthy soon I will find a way to get something else…..by hook or crook…..

Wow those are very low miles Maki !

I’m over 200,000 on a 2004 seems to run fine….

 

[maki2]

Keeping the mileage low as long as possible was my plan since I bought it used in 2008 with 20k already on it. That does not preclude being a happy nomad. It just means doing longer stays in a smaller geographic region such as I did this last year. 

You can't do that if you have ants in your pants. Fortunately I have traveled a bit when younger so do not feel compelled by a bucket list to see it all before I die.

 

[travelaround]

Hello again. I'm still at the bottom of California. A few days ago I went to Old Town San Diego. Today I went to Cuyamaca Rancho State Park. Just looking. I'll be leaving here in a few days. Today worked on putting the van together so I could sleep in it again. I have a lot more to do there. These days I work until my sides or back hurt then give it up for something else. Work hours are limited!

Tomorrow will be for the beach. On the way home: Salvation Mountain, Calico Ghost Town, Red Rock Canyon CA, then Bishop, then Reno. There's no way I'd want to drive back the same way I came. I want to do these sight-seeing things on my long-time mental bucket list... then go north. Any campground suggestions are welcome. I'm not in a hurry to get to Reno.... though I did order a Jackery to pick up in Reno sometime between the 5th and 8th. Also will hopefully visit my son there.

 

[bullfrog]

Blood is still thin from the summer heat! Cool 73 degrees today in Bullfrog Utah, low 50's for tonight. Time for a long sleeve shirt and blue jeans!