Dating and van life. How does one go about this?

Cy_5th · Oct 8, 2024

maki2 said:
Truthfully…
That just passing through stuff simply does not work in today’s society unless you are into catching “bar flies”.

Caught my first "bar fly" since going fulltime van life "baybeh". Or shall I say she caught me LOL. Needless to say lesson learned is, be prepared. I wasn't and it cost me half of the enjoyment I would of had, had I been. The next date didn't go as far or even close as the previous night, why? Probably because of what happened on the first night. BUT I was prepared this time and just nursed one glass of red wine. First impression was everything in this case. Hindsight is 20/20. To think about it, that is just what she wanted but I couldn't give her the full experience that she wanted LOL. And probably why the second date didn't go far. She was totally up front told me she was getting married in our first conversations. I lost her number already,

I am traditional type when it comes to stuff like this. I.e get the number, call her next day or two, converse, ask on a date (gives you time to prepare). I am not used to the the one nighters because they don't happen to guys like me. Van life maybe it will happen more often I don't know. But lesson learned be prepared. It impacts the first impression.

rruff · Oct 8, 2024

Cy_5th said:
Caught my first "bar fly" since going fulltime van life "baybeh". Or shall I say she caught me LOL.

Gotta make sure those barflys aren't really "bar mosquitoes"...

The poor lighting, loud music, and booze will all conspire against your judgement... gotta listen for that high pitched buzz...

Cy_5th said:
She was totally up front told me she was getting married in our first conversations.

Just something I noticed in my younger days when I was good looking... the crazy number of women who would hit on me AFTER they'd gotten engaged!

Seriously ladies, WTF is up with that?

Granted, I've been naive about women most of my life... or, people in general really. But... I can't imagine what the point would be of a intimate partner who I'd then lie to and cheat on. The whole point for me is in the opposite direction.

I guess it's got something to do with autonomy, power, and control? Some BS notion about having your cake and eating it too?

towboater · Oct 9, 2024

rruff said:
Gotta make sure those barflys aren't really "bar mosquitoes"...

The poor lighting, loud music, and booze will all conspire against your judgement... gotta listen for that high pitched buzz...

Just something I noticed in my younger days when I was good looking... the crazy number of women who would hit on me AFTER they'd gotten engaged!

Seriously ladies, WTF is up with that?

Granted, I've been naive about women most of my life... or, people in general really. But... I can't imagine what the point would be of a intimate partner who I'd then lie to and cheat on. The whole point for me is in the opposite direction.

I guess it's got something to do with autonomy, power, and control? Some BS notion about having your cake and eating it too?

I have to say, I cheated on my fiancé and had as many one night stands as I could find prior to getting married. My reasoning was get it out of my system before marriage. Right or wrong it worked, 43 years of faithful marriage.

INTJohn · Oct 9, 2024

towboater said:
I have to say, I cheated on my fiancé and had as many one night stands as I could find prior to getting married. My reasoning was get it out of my system before marriage. Right or wrong it worked, 43 years of faithful marriage.

One night She told me the same thing regarding marrying u………
sayin
bch bum jonny
(sorry dude, ya left ur self wide open 4 it)

Cy_5th · Oct 9, 2024

towboater said:
I have to say, I cheated on my fiancé and had as many one night stands as I could find prior to getting married. My reasoning was get it out of my system before marriage. Right or wrong it worked, 43 years of faithful marriage.

I hope she doesn't read your post(s) when you step away from the dining table or couch or office area. Or else it could be it was a great 43 years of marriage

rruff · Oct 9, 2024

towboater said:
I have to say, I cheated on my fiancé and had as many one night stands as I could find prior to getting married.

I prefer to keep my life simple, by being completely honest with the people important to me. Now... if she was aware of what you were doing, then that's cool. And if she was doing the same, then that's even cooler. Whatever works for you...

towboater · Oct 10, 2024

INTJohn said:
One night She told me the same thing regarding marrying u………
sayin
bch bum jonny
(sorry dude, ya left ur self wide open 4 it)

I deserved that!!! But now the gloves come off Jonny Boi

How about those #1 Hoosiers!

towboater · Oct 10, 2024

towboater said:
I deserved that!!! But now the gloves come off Jonny Boi How about those #1 Hoosiers!

INTJohn · Oct 12, 2024

^^^^ i think he would do better trying out for the baseball team. They could use him as the backstop.

sayin…….

rruff · Nov 12, 2024

Larry-new said:
I showed up in the morning with a mug of coffee, and we talked, while killing a pesky tarantula.

Wut?! That's just mean...

Gotta tell my Tarantula Story. Was living in a little pickup with my SO and her dog. In the late fall in the 90s, a place next to the Gila River in eastern AZ looked good on the map, so we bounded in that direction in the dark and scouted a place to park near the river. In the morning after I distinctly recall my SO praising my ability to stumble upon good campsites, we noticed something else...

Tarantulas. Lots of them. Leisurely ambling along on a migration to somewhere it seemed. I'd seen this when I lived in CA, so it wasn't the first time, but it did make the stay there a little less peaceful... since we spent a good amount of time sitting on the ground.

I've never killed a tarantula, but I did save one while I was there! He was in the river next to the bank, hanging onto the grass, desperate to get out and failing. So I got a stick and lifted him out onto a rock were he could dry out and recover, while I sat nearby. A few minutes later he walked over to me, and lifted up his front legs... and it seemed like we had a moment. I know that they do something similar when they feel threatened and are ready to attack, but he didn't seem aggressive at all. I talked to him for awhile and then he went on his way.

maki2 · Sunday at 5:43 PM

Is romance dead altogether? Of course not. Is the possibility of friendship dead? Of course not. But “dating” as it was in the last century is pretty much dead, especially in the Van life community. Those old behavior patterns have changed.

Do not go in acting and talking like you did when you were in your 20s and 30s. Even the younger people who are now in their 20s and 30s do not talk or act like that.

wayne49 · Sunday at 8:52 PM

Two years ago, as I was hiking across the Amargosa Desert, I came upon a large spider with very hairy legs. A little like a show girl in costume. She was high stepping it on her way somewhere, and I captured video of the scene. She went her way and I went my way.

Before that encounter, all I knew about Tarantulas is from movies, that they are scary, hang out in dark caves, and will kill humans. Which is not true in the Amargosa Desert. I found out it was a tarantula from the local Librarian.

twomountainlions · 2024-11-18T00:16:48-0500

rruff said:
Tarantulas. Lots of them. Leisurely ambling along on a migration to somewhere it seemed. I'd seen this when I lived in CA, so it wasn't the first time, but it did make the stay there a little less peaceful... since we spent a good amount of time sitting on the ground.

This reminded me of my favortite free lake campsite in Texas, the first time I was there I noticed lots of sparkles in the grass in the light of my headlamp, thought these were pieces of broken glass left over the years. Then I realized it was full of hundreds of big wolf spiders and these were their eyes shining. Some of them were huge and more like Tarantula-sized, they grow big there, they get lots of food...not a single mosquito or no see um was seem, not a single bite, I think spiders ate them all

rruff · 2024-11-18T12:44:37-0500

twomountainlions said:
I think spiders ate them all

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