WOOHOO! I'm Divorced!

[jimindenver]

My legal fees for the less than one year marriage was over $8k.


All in all, it was money well spent.

My legal fees earlier this year was 5 grand for a few months. Seem he was either getting ready for the Supreme court or getting a education at my expense. That said, it was worth every penny to stop the bleeding.

 

[One Awesome Inch]

Leaving my ex was one of the best experiences I've had. So many times I'd come home to a dark cloud of silent treatment and I'd think what did I do (really didnt do) now? She really is a good person but the way we communicated was just horrible.

 

[One Awesome Inch]

BTW i havent paid one cent of legal fees as we kept the separation civil and out of the hands of lawyers.

 

[ArtW]

Me and my ex did a diy divorce, no fighting over marital assets as there were basically none
As far as the actual marriage, it started happily enough but I definitely was pulling the weight and making the sacrifices. Never again
The practice of financially raping one partner for the benefit of the other needs to stop

 

[Cheli]

My ex was brutal. I told him he was acting like a chick, because usually the woman tries to take everything but he was threatening to go after my 401K and even my Harley. I finally told him if he wanted half my Harley I'd be happy to cut the bitch up and give it to him. He told me I screwed him when I left. Yeah, I took the bed from our guest room and left him the master room King size set, I took an old crappy tube tv and left him the 43" flat screen tv, oh wait yes I took the dining room set. I left him everything of value, I walked away from a $200k house and told him he could have it but he was still adamant that I screwed him. I was trying to be peaceful since I was the one leaving so I left him everything.

I don't get it, why do people get so ugly and materialistic during a divorce. Just be happy and be nice to each other.

 

[jimindenver]

It is their way of getting back at you one last time.

 

[slynne]

My divorce was so easy. My husband left me and moved to UAE and because I am lazy and didn't care, I didn't bother to file for divorce. I just did the taxes every year, mailed them to him for his signature and then he mailed them back and that was that. Until he wanted to remarry. So I told him that I would go to court but wasn't going to pay for a lawyer. All our stuff had already been divided although I found out later, he had some assets I was possibly entitled to but not so much that it would have been worth making the process more painful than it needed to be. Basically, he hired a lawyer and paid the lawyer and the lawyer called me up to go to court one day. I went to court. Told the judge there was no way we were getting back together and that I was 100% sure I was not pregnant. I signed some papers, went down the hall to file them with the county clerk and that was that.

Anyhoo. I have been single for the past 20 years, more or less. I agree with those who talk about not wanting to compromise. I am good at compromise but only for short times. I have always hoped to meet someone I am so compatible with that there aren't major compromises but although I have seen people who seem to have relationships like that, I don't think they are all that common. I can say this though, I have seen people in some seriously bad relationships and I have seen how miserable they can make people. I am soooooo much happier to be single on my terms than to be in a relationship where I lose myself.

Plus, it means that when I got this idea to be a nomad into my head, I didn't have the dream quashed by being with someone who didn't share it. That is pretty valuable actually.

 

[Cammalu]

I'm happily widowed..... Wait, that doesn't sound right..


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

 

[TrainChaser]

I'm not married. I was heavily influenced by my mother's misery during two bad marriages (100%). She told me something that I've never forgotten: People wouldn't get divorced for such stupid reasons, if they hadn't gotten married for such stupid reasons.

This country has a 50% divorce rate. Many of the still-married half should be divorced, but they aren't. That doesn't say much good about people's decision-making.

I have friends who married because of what they THOUGHT they saw in the other person, OR they thought they could change them. And then they wondered what happened. PASS!

 

[Virgil Jones]

My legal fees earlier this year was 5 grand for a few months. Seem he was either getting ready for the Supreme court or getting a education at my expense. That said, it was worth every penny to stop the bleeding.

Question:  Why does divorce cost so much?

Answer:   Because it's worth it!

[font=Tahoma, sans-serif]There is a couple of lines in a song written[/font] by Kris Kristofferson and made famous by Janis Joplin called "Me and my Bobby McGee" that I sang to myself during a very contentious and long divorce.  

"[font=Verdana, Arial]Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose,[/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial]Nothing don't mean nothing honey if it ain't free"[/font]

 

[ArtW]

It is their way of getting back at you one last time.

I've also seen cases where it was a really dumb attempt to convince you not to go (ever hear the phrase 'it's cheaper to keeep 'er?", but most often, it's punishment for not being they person they wanted to make you be

 

[Crow]

My ex was brutal.  I told him he was acting like a chick, because usually the woman tries to take everything but he was threatening to go after my 401K and even my Harley.  I finally told him if he wanted half my Harley I'd be happy to cut the bitch up and give it to him.  He told me I screwed him when I left.  Yeah, I took the bed from our guest room and left him the master room King size set, I took an old crappy tube tv and left him the 43" flat screen tv, oh wait yes I took the dining room set.  I left him everything of value, I walked away from a $200k house and told him he could have it but he was still adamant that I screwed him.  I was trying to be peaceful since I was the one leaving so I left him everything.

I don't get it, why do people get so ugly and materialistic during a divorce.  Just be happy and be nice to each other.

Divorces should be done the way drug dealers split up a bag of dope.   Person A divides it into two halves, person B gets to pick which of the halves they want, thus motivating person A to make the division as evenly as possible.   Person B gets absolutely no say whatsoever in the division, just in which resulting half they want.

So just get a piece of paper and draw a vertical line down the middle, one person lists all common assets and all common liabilities, dividing them as equally as possible between the two sides, throwing in a cash payment from one side to the other to balance it if they feel its necessary.   The other party gets to choose which side they want, and neither will have any grounds to accuse the other.

 

[DannyB1954]

  Person A divides it into two halves, person B gets to pick which of the halves they want, thus motivating person A to make the division as evenly as possible.   Person B gets absolutely no say whatsoever in the division, just in which resulting half they want.

That only works if both parties have an equal investment and both parties are entitled to half of the assets. I think rarely would this be the case. 



As an example, One party has a house and pension before the marriage, and pays all the expenses during the marriage. The other party has no income or assets and stays home taking care of kids from a previous marriage, (does not work). Is the person who contributed nothing still entitled to half? Does getting free room and board for yourself and your kids make you entitled? Who makes the list? The one party could put the house on one side, and most everything on the other side. They would come out way ahead no matter what the other party chooses. If the other person makes the list and offers what the courts would consider fair, they will come out the big loser because the other person would choose the list that they were really not entitled to.

 

[Crow]

I did say common assets and liabilities.   If one person had a house and pension going in, those aren't common assets but you're right, that's not necessarily going to stop somebody from going after it and sometimes getting it, the whole justice system being what it is.

 

[GotSmart]

I just gave the last one 2/3 of everything, (in front of witnesses) and made her file the paperwork.  That way there is no way she can ever come back on me for holding out. That made everyone mad at her, including her kids.  

I sat back and ignored all the drama she was spouting.  I never responded to it.  Then her kids and mine told things from what they saw.  She took out loans behind my back, using my kids cars as collateral.  She took out a $50,000 loan on her $15,000 house.  Spent the mortgage money on my house.  She borrowed money from my kids.  Gave away most of that to her pastor, who was financing Jim Baker's TV station in Branson. $100,000 to get rid of her.  A bargain. 

 

[DannyB1954]

If the house appreciated in value during that year that would be a common asset.

I like what Suze Orman said about prenuptial agreements. If two people who like each other can't figure out who gets what in a separation, how are two people who hate each other going to do it. Before my last marriage I brought the idea up about preneptuals. She said not to worry at her last divorce she just took what was already hers. Guess what, at our divorce she wanted what was already mine.

The sort it out between the two of you approach only works out with two mature reasonable people. Also pretty rare.

 

[Crow]

The sort it out between the two of you approach only works out with two mature reasonable people. Also pretty rare.

I guess I'm just lucky its worked out that way for me each time.  Last go-around, she was being a little unfair about it but it would have cost me more to fight it than what was at stake, so I walked away and promptly forgot she ever existed.   We had just bought a house and basically had zero equity so it wasn't hard to just let her keep it.  Its not my fault that it was immediately before the 2008 housing crash and she soon became $50k upside down in it.  Just karma I guess

 

[hanesworthy]

[font=Helvetica, Roboto,]I am a marvelous housekeeper [/font]
[font=Helvetica, Roboto,]Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.[/font]

[font=Helvetica, Roboto,]- Zsa Zsa Gabor 1917 ~ 2016[/font]

 

[RVTravel]

Me and my next ex-wife are definitely gonna have a prenupt.

 

[billybob200138]

Married for 30 years. Her fault? My fault? Does it matter? Life goes on. Again? Never say never. HoboJoe