WOOHOO! I'm Divorced!

[Motrukdriver]

I think the first 5 or 6 marriages are just practice for the real thing.

 

[SoulRaven]

My current husband is my second marriage and I am his fourth wife, he's been married three other times and twice to his former ex. I'm hoping that this time around it'll be till death do us part. I don't want any other men in my life not after meeting and being with him. As to me, he is the one. In him, I have found my soulmate, companion, and a wonderful loving relationship and as the saying goes nothing else compares. I know that all marriages and relationships are a work in progress and mine is no different.

 

[SoulRaven]

The only hard part of my divorce was it gave my ex and her mother almost exclusive access to my kids and I became the bad guy and she became the Virgin Mary. I'm still not close to the kids but I paid my child support plus extras. No regrets.


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Gunny, That's how most women are. My Brothers ex-has turned the kids on him. He has not seen or heard from them since he and her separated and he gave her/them everything within his power to do so and paid the child support right up until the children became of age and were adults and no longer needing the child support payments. Even Mo was the same, but his ex almost bankrupted him and left him in a lot of debit poor guy. yet he still managed to pay her child support for his daughter. Some men can be nice and others can be asses, same goes for women.

 

[SoulRaven]

Leaving my ex was one of the best experiences I've had. So many times I'd come home to a dark cloud of silent treatment and I'd think what did I do (really didnt do) now? She really is a good person but the way we communicated was just horrible.

One Awesome Inch, Some women have a tendance to assume/think that you/men can read their minds. That's where the silent treatment comes in. They are mad at you and all they want is for you to coax out of them what is wrong or what is bothering them or what is making them mad. With me, I have a tendency to start my conversations with my husband and friends midway thinking that they already know or read my mind concerning the other part which was not disclosed prior in the conversation.

 

[SoulRaven]

My ex was brutal.  I told him he was acting like a chick, because usually the woman tries to take everything but he was threatening to go after my 401K and even my Harley.  I finally told him if he wanted half my Harley I'd be happy to cut the bitch up and give it to him.  He told me I screwed him when I left.  Yeah, I took the bed from our guest room and left him the master room King size set, I took an old crappy tube tv and left him the 43" flat screen tv, oh wait yes I took the dining room set.  I left him everything of value, I walked away from a $200k house and told him he could have it but he was still adamant that I screwed him.  I was trying to be peaceful since I was the one leaving so I left him everything.

I don't get it, why do people get so ugly and materialistic during a divorce.  Just be happy and be nice to each other.

Cheli, I was the same with my first Marriage. I walked away from everything, I even sold my wedding and engagement ring because I wanted no reminders of him and or anything to do with him. He was a womanizer and slept around wherever he could. The money that I worked hard for so as to purchase a house with he would go and spend on his girlfriends. When we divorced I told him to never remarry if he was going to continue with his affairs and told him that he shouldn't hurt other women in his pursuit for sexual gratification.

 

[SoulRaven]

I just don't understand.  They married my because of the person I was, then they all tried to change me.  :huh:

Gotsmart, That's what Mo says to me because I asked him to retire from work and stay home with me. But what you blokes don't realize is that 1) we don't change you at all it is you who want to change and then blame us. and 2) just as you change so do we. so honestly, we are on even par as far as change is concerned.

 

[closeanuf]

Yesterday was my 12 year anniversary getting out of my second AND LAST MARRIAGE.  Both women I married tried in vain to change me into what thought I was capable of becoming.  They just knew I could be improved, but I didn't want to change.  They both changed into who they really were once the honeymoon was over.

 

[WalkaboutTed]

I was having a discussion with a young women a few nights ago as far as spouses trying to change you.

Me:
"I'm a bitch. Always have been a bitch, always will be. I've always been up front and said right out that I'm a bitch. Then these guys come along and think they can stop me from being a bitch with love. Nope, I'm still a bitch and after a few years, they finally figure out that I was serious. By that time, I'm willing to give up everything I have to just get away."

Beware guys, "I'm a bitch".
Ted

 

[Cammalu]

Haha Ted! Yes you did say that! Hey, we are on the road now heading toward Austin.


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[GotSmart]

Gotsmart, That's what Mo says to me because I asked him to retire from work and stay home with me. But what you blokes don't realize is that 1) we don't change you at all it is you who want to change and then blame us. and 2) just as you change so do we. so honestly, we are on even par as far as change is concerned.

Don’t buy it.   Been there many times. People are different. Your feelings and how they influence your perception does not mean that everyone has the same pattern. 

I can make a list of “demands “ I have received.

 

[SoulRaven]

Don’t buy it.   Been there many times. People are different. Your feelings and how they influence your perception does not mean that everyone has the same pattern. 

I can make a list of “demands “ I have received.

So you're saying we do change you? Ok, I'll accept your reply as I don't really know you or your circumstances. But I do ask this Do men change women also? and if so then how?

Also, My perception is only from an Australian point of view and from witnessing friends and family around me and not an American one as I have not lived in nor had any American friends to give a general opinion.

 

[Urban Fisher]

My marriage failed from a philosophy (or old saying) that came true in my case...A man marries a woman hoping she won't change, a woman marries a man hoping he will.

She changed and I didn't.

 

[frater secessus]

Was going to dredge up that quote; dunno who said it but it sounds like Wilde.

As for me, I'm content in my single-ness. I read recently where someone said "you can either be lonely or irritated." I think that's largely true, but I don't get lonely and I don't get bored. I guess that's what makes me a happy loner. Me and the dogs get along fine.

 

[wimc]

Never been married, do not have any kids either.

 

[bigskybob]

All of the divorces that I have ever heard of have one thing in common.I'm a saint and it was all that other assholes fault.

 

[frater secessus]

Plenty of folks are more introspective than that, including in this thread.