Women Only: Safety on the road - sexual assault

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Cammalu said:
"I knew that somehow it would go bad.  
...in Bobs defense...
I did it to ward off what I knew was coming and so it didn't sound like I was male bashing"


Camm,

No explanation/apology needed from you.  Bob does not need defending.  But I agree with you that "somehow it would go bad."  Never mind.  Best, in my opinion, to ignore any distractions & get on with this critical discussion.  Ignore the wet blanket thrown over the topic & carry on!

I have been late to weigh in.  Wanted to take time to read carefully all posts first.   I survived unscathed a potentially deadly assault by fighting back.  What I may be able to add to this conversation is some tips & suggestions, for I've had an adventurous life & learned much from it.
But first, more coffee & time to mull this over.  Don't let this thread die prematurely!
huh.gif


Charlotte
 
Send me over a cuppa Charlotte and we'll have one together. Did I see you say somewhere that you were going to Mexico soon?


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Cammalu said:
"Did I see you say somewhere that you were going to Mexico soon?"
Hi Camm,
Mexico anytime soon?  Not likely.  I'm monitoring the situation.  It's not good.  If you didn't read it, find my post in Safety On the Road:  "On the road horror stories!" (pg 5)   After that incident, I thought it best to cool my jets for a while south of border.
In above post here, I mentioned surviving unscathed from a potentially deadly assault.  It came easily to mind since it happened recently.  But I now recall another situation, potentially just as deadly.  Happened back in the 70's in Hawaii.  Martial arts were popular there at time.  I trained with a Japanese master of Tai Kwan Do---a self defense art that involves the art of spin kicking.  Better technique for women who, like myself, lack a great deal of upper body strength.
The class met in a location just three miles from my house.  When I discovered my bicycle had a flat tire & I might be late, I accepted an offer of a ride from a clean-cut young man in VW bug that I had seen often in the neighborhood.  The ocean was to one side of the two lane highway, miles & miles of tall, thick sugar can fields along other side. 
Almost at once, this "neighbor" acted very nervous.  I knew at that moment I was in danger.  He sped along the highway then made a wild abrupt turn onto a dirt road into the cane fields.  When we turned, I was thrown against him.  He grabbed hold of the back of my jacket & stopped the car.  He dragged me out but I managed to shrug out of my jacket.  When he came at me I gave him a  *swift hard kick*  to the you know where. 
I took off running, not easy in the soft dirt.  And I was wearing flip flops!  He chased me all the way to the highway, never more than a few feet behind.  I worried what I would do when I reached the highway, for I was by then out of breath.  But just like magic---I saw the little green pickup of my best friend, Ruthie, coming along right at me.  I stepped out into the road & frantically waved her down.
I immediately reported to the police.  But nothing came of it for three months.  This same man, who was in the military & had a wife & baby at home, was arrested for having raped & beaten to death a young woman in the area. 
So, there you have it.  Now, I must get back to my packing.  I am still mulling what I want to offer in the way of suggestions/advice/lessons learned.  Will return to this topic. 
Thanks for offer of a shared cuppa, Camm!  One day, perhaps!
rolleyes.gif
Charlotte
 
Oh crap Charlotte. We seem to have a lot in common. I was assaulted in Hawaii once as well. I got away too and he did manage to go to jail.

I see you speak Spanish - me too having lived in South America for a few years. I'm headed to Baja in Feb with a small group for a month.

We definitely need to meet and have that cuppa one day! Sounds like it would really be a good time for us both.


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Hey Charlotte tried to PM you. Shoot me a PM


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Cammalu said:
Hey Charlotte tried to PM you. Shoot me a PM
Camm,
Do not yet use PM.  My pc needs a proper firewall first, following a complete swiping.  It seems I have a persistent admirer with sophisticated hacking skills.  We will talk in person, when I get my pc secure again.
I traveled in S America, Ecuador, Columbia, Peru years ago.  Really good opportunity to sharpen my situational awareness skills!  I know Baja well, tho I prefer mainland Mx.  I also lived in Guatemala for a year in my VW bus.
I am still mulling over what I want to say about staying safe and handling dicey encounters.  What I have learned goes farther than just keeping car keys on hand, etc.  I want to share.  But need time to mull it over a bit.
Hasta pronto, pues
Charlotte
 
Charlotte, lived and worked in Peru which took me traveling thru Bolivia, Ecuador and Chile as well as a tiny stint in Panama. We must have been following each other. I've never been to Baja and only tiny trips into MX.


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Why does anyone wear flip flops anywhere but at home? I see people getting into some kind of trouble on YouTube, and they're slowed down, tripping and falling because they're wearing flip flops. One guy fell off a cliff. It makes no sense to me.
 
When I make a stop after driving for a couple of hours, I limp badly. This makes me look vulnerable so I do behind the wheel calisthenics about five minutes before I stop. Quick, easy, free. That way when I step out I do it without a limp. I walk fast and confident.
 
akrvbob said:
To the best of my knowledge, nothing in this post is true. If I've missed it, please, please show it to me and I will apologize and correct it!!

Hi Bob,  I just tried to forward you the pms i received but got a message that you cant receive pms.
 
As much response this topic has seen it seems to be a needed conversation. As a young naive woman I was felt up by a respected male member of my conservative church. On the surface it was fairly innocent but it altered my self concept and the  decisions i made about my life. Ive only told 2 people this before. My daughter has been sexually and emotionslly abused by her boyfriend which contributed to her alcoholism and mental illness.  In my opinion assault, whether it is physical, emotional or sexual, changes us.  I'm not sure where I wanted to go with this, But i do think it has been an  important topic. 
Nora
 
Been reading this thread now and then (I'm down in FL with minimal internet access) and finding the almost universal nature of our experience to be both unifying, and abhorrent. Guess I always knew it was as common as could be with all of us, but it's eye opening to see it shared... thank you to all who've felt brave enough to share.
 
We even need to be careful at mobile dwelling events. Here's what happened to Crystal Vanner at the big build...

link removed as requested
 
It's a shame he wasn't thrown out on his ass. Looks bad for Jamie


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The thing that troubles me is, my knee-jerk reaction would be to get my gun. I guess it would be easy enough to find a camping spot where there aren't any drunks. I hope! I need to practice grabbing the air horn instead of the gun!

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bigsallysmom said:
We even need to be careful at mobile dwelling events. Here's what happened to Crystal Vanner at the big build...

link removed as request


That’s ridiculous, that someone drunk or not thinks they can just walk around entering someones space while they’re sleeping! I would’ve shot him dead without hesitation. I’d treat that situation the same as if it’d been in my house. If I woke up with someone in my house and a hand on my leg they’d be full of holes. Sleeping in a van, tent, hammock, etc is no different. I’ve never been a victim of any sexual kind, Thank God, and I make it known that I’m not the one for people to be messing with either. I’m sure the guys at the build didn’t hesitate to sleep with their doors open, it’s sad that women feel they can’t now either.
 
I'm disappointed in: the assaulter who did it, the victim who didn't report it, and the build host who didn't kick him out of the area.
A whole group of women must now be on the watch for this criminal. A whole population who must be uncomfortable around him. Why not kick him out so women can relax -- as much as they can.
 
I'm not excusing the jerk who invaded womens' spaces and peace of mind. He's an asshole of the worst kind. But, nobody, man or woman, should be sleeping with their doors open or unlocked in the world we live in today


He should be outted and shunned by the entire community, at the very least.
 
Cindi. I'm going to disagree with you on keeping van doors closed and locked. I'm not going places so I can stay in my van. Part of the fun is opening the van to the outdoors. An open door is NOT an invitation to being assaulted and it never will be.
 
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