Women Only: Feeling frustrated; need to vent.

Van Living Forum

Help Support Van Living Forum:

This site may earn a commission from merchant affiliate links, including eBay, Amazon, and others.

SaadowGorl

Active member
Joined
Jul 8, 2017
Messages
30
Reaction score
0
I'm feeling a little frustrated. I've been going out here and there for a few weeks to a month on the road (usually by myself). Now I'm planning and prepping to head out to the RTR and have a better idea of some of the conditions that are out there on the road. I'm in an SUV, but space is still limited. I've been trying and trying to cut back on the stuff that ends up in the vehicle (I can go a little too far with "Always be prepared!" sometimes). While pairing down on what tags along I also am noticing a lot of things that *should* come along and things that make life bearable on the road. It feels as though my vehicle is just getting more and more crowded and more and more money is hemorrhaging from the coffers (even with money saving hacks). 
It is also very frustrating to have a serious lack of knowledge about vehicles, maintenance, electrical (to include solar), along with not having a majority of the tools to manage the minor construction, maintenance, & repairs needed on the road. 
Thanks for reading. It helps just to say that things are feeling a bit overwhelming as a newbie. :)
 
I hear ya on that one. It is hard to pare it down. Hopefully the trips out thus far have given you an idea of maybe what you don't want, or won't use? I would say that the best mechanical shape you can get your vehicle into would be a good focus. At some point it just has to be good enough.
I myself, will leave in a month. I am kinda living half in my empty house, and half in my rig. I have put a moratorium  on obtaining anything else. I figure that if I need things/repairs/whatever, then I will deal with it at the time.  To me, having some cash is more important than trying to estimate what I might need. I would guess that 
what you have so far is probably enough to get out the driveway!  Keep us posted
 
I hear ya. I know I'm taking more than I need, but will figure it out as I go along. Still packing up the house and trying to get everything finished. We're now down to crunch time!
 
CautionToTheWind said:
Would a rooftop carrier help?

I have one, but it is difficult to get into. I carry a small step ladder to get to it. Mostly I end up keeping the stuff that *might* be needed (like Bob mentioned in a video that some sites require you to have a tent set up even if you don't use it). 

(General response to other replies) The stuff I'm ending up looking at picking up, or more likely building from scratch with the help of a neighbors borrowed tools - these too are expensive!, are things like shade from tarps and a way to rig them up, a camp light stand, a hammock stand. All in all they are not too expensive, but they are still a cost and lately I'm lucky to be bringing in $400 a month in income.  I'm stuck between going without and choosing to spend the money on them as these are things that leave me feeling comfortable rather than miserable on the road which means that they are valuable to me. The rigging for the above should be able to be lashed to the roof of the SUV or stored in the roof top box. 

It is just super difficult to balance all the small comforts/wants with the lack of money & know how. So many of the others (seems like mostly men) seem to have 'parts laying around', a stash of tools to use, and quite a lot more know how than I do. It makes it so much more difficult to be going at this without the exposure to the "how to" and "DIY" aspects of things. Argh. 

Thanks for listening (reading) & commiserating.
 
gallica said:
It is hard to pare it down. Hopefully the trips out thus far have given you an idea of maybe what you don't want, or won't use? I would say that the best mechanical shape you can get your vehicle into would be a good focus. At some point it just has to be good enough.
I myself, will leave in a month. I am kinda living half in my empty house, and half in my rig. I have put a moratorium  on obtaining anything else. I figure that if I need things/repairs/whatever, then I will deal with it at the time.  To me, having some cash is more important than trying to estimate what I might need. I would guess that 
what you have so far is probably enough to get out the driveway!  Keep us posted

Hard to pare down, yes. It has been slow going, but I'm figuring out what I actually use vs. what I think I'll use (and even do). The hardest part has been the variety of situations I've ended up in. I'll leave things at home because leaving with a stuffed to the brim rig leaves me just as helpless as being with out when digging around in a mountain of stuff for that thing I *just* saw comes up with nothing. But, at the same time, not having something or ending up with an unexpected need is madness inducing at times. 

I'm trying to keep up with the maintenance on the vehicle as much as possible - never been my strong suit. More important, to me, is learning how to do some of it myself because it saves me so much money and leaves me with such a sense of accomplishment. :)

Are you heading out full time? If so, it makes a lot of sense to stop the acquisitions for a while. I'm still half in and half out, so there is a bit more leeway on my end as far as finding out what does and does not work (and what has multiple uses - the best!). The cash on hand (or in the bank) is super important for those emergency situation. Good luck to you and hope to see you out on the road! :)
 
I have found that no matter how far or how long a trip is or even it's purpose that I always need something I didn't bring, and brought too much that often isn't needed or used.

  Last week I found a small square suitcase in a closet.  I hadn't used it since my last AL to KY and back trip. That was July 2012.   IT STILL HAD CLOTHES AND COSTUME JEWELRY IN IT.  WHEN I START CLEARING OUT STUFF IT'S LIKE CHRITMAS! :)

JEWELLANN
 
I understand how so many of you feel as I am in the very same boat. With regard to building anything, I wish I had I had hired some one to help a little. Yes I have been stubborn thinking I can do it, but I have spent too much on tools and all the other things you need and could have had a better product. Truth be told for me, I got very frustrated! So now I'm still not done.... With regard to paring down, I have gone through most of my things, finally decided to rent a small storage unit ($29 per month) for those family sentimental things. As I loan up the van I'm sure I will have to make more decisions about cutting back, but the important things get priority. I agree that using the storage topper is a good idea, that way you can take more of the items that will make you more comfortable (mentally).

I'm sure once we get there we will get so much knowledge and help that our confidence level will soar.  I'm sure you will make the right choices, take a deep breath and watch more videos about others traveling in a vehicle like yours. I'll be happy to loan you my tools when we get there.

See you at RTR!
 
SaadowGorl said:
(General response to other replies) The stuff I'm ending up looking at picking up, or more likely building from scratch with the help of a neighbors borrowed tools - these too are expensive!, are things like shade from tarps and a way to rig them up, a camp light stand, a hammock stand. All in all they are not too expensive, but they are still a cost and lately I'm lucky to be bringing in $400 a month in income.  I'm stuck between going without and choosing to spend the money on them as these are things that leave me feeling comfortable rather than miserable on the road which means that they are valuable to me. 

As some one who uses hammocks for backpacking you really don't need a hammock stand...those are mostly just for yards and bedrooms without trees. Get some Atlas tree straps and use fence posts, trees etc when you want to use your hammock.
 
Not a lot of trees in the desert suitable for using as a hammock stand. When at RTR look around for me (shadowmoss) and the friend who will be with me designed and will have with her a nice traveling hammock stand.
 
DuneElliot said:
you really don't need a hammock stand...those are mostly just for yards and bedrooms without trees. Get some Atlas tree straps and use fence posts, trees etc when you want to use your hammock.

I have the tree straps, but have ended up in places either with no trees or with restrictions on hanging hammocks. :(
 
Go to HammockForums.net and search for TurtleDog stand. My friend is Turtle Lady, and she designed the original stand. Others took the idea and went with it. Basically it is a tripod made from something that will hold the weight on each end and a pole hung between them from the center of the tripods. Finding the sweet spot of strong enough to hold the weight and light enough to transport is where the fun is.

Just did a general search for turtledog hammock stand and there are pics, and also links to several videos. For portability while traveling you can make something that is sectioned for the supports and center pole. Turtle Lady is flying out to Phoenix to travel to RTR with me in my Class A. Her stand will fit in checked luggage.
 
SaadowGorl said:
I have one, but it is difficult to get into. I carry a small step ladder to get to it. Mostly I end up keeping the stuff that *might* be needed (like Bob mentioned in a video that some sites require you to have a tent set up even if you don't use it). 

(General response to other replies) The stuff I'm ending up looking at picking up, or more likely building from scratch with the help of a neighbors borrowed tools - these too are expensive!, are things like shade from tarps and a way to rig them up, a camp light stand, a hammock stand. All in all they are not too expensive, but they are still a cost and lately I'm lucky to be bringing in $400 a month in income.  I'm stuck between going without and choosing to spend the money on them as these are things that leave me feeling comfortable rather than miserable on the road which means that they are valuable to me. The rigging for the above should be able to be lashed to the roof of the SUV or stored in the roof top box. 

It is just super difficult to balance all the small comforts/wants with the lack of money & know how. So many of the others (seems like mostly men) seem to have 'parts laying around', a stash of tools to use, and quite a lot more know how than I do. It makes it so much more difficult to be going at this without the exposure to the "how to" and "DIY" aspects of things. Argh. 

Thanks for listening (reading) & commiserating.
It sounds like you're letting yourself get overwhelmed, but you don't have to have everything perfect in the beginning. As long as you have the necessities, such as a way to cook, a toilet, and comfortable bed you are all set. I started out in my car, and only had backpacking stuff to start with, and oh-so-little, but I was perfectly happy with less. You should have some basic tools, but too many tools are unnecessary and are only useful if you have the ability and know how to use them (I have the basics, but since I'm not a mechanic I have to pay someone else to do the work anyway, and then they will have the specialty tools required, so all I've ever needed are the basics). As time passes you will learn what you need and don't need, and you will most likely find you need a lot less than you think. I lived in a Subaru or/and a Mid-sized SUV for 12-years before a got a small van and solar. Solar is a luxury, not a necessity you don't have to have it. Other things like camp showers, hammocks, even tarps are not necessities. A camp chair will work in the beginning, the side of your van that is out of the sun will work, and very small nylon tarp will work to shield your door from rain or sun, and I've used bungee cords for 13-years +++ now, no poles or such, just tent stakes. (I have two small reflective tarps and use them very rarely, but they do come in handy on occasion and they don't take up any room really. I don't know whether you can climb or not, but I've figured out ways to climb to my roof storage, hence no need for a ladder, but my van isn't super high (when I do serious work on the roof, I'll borrow one from someone for a couple of hours). If' you've been watching Bob's Video's, you might feel you need all this stuff just to start, but you don't, you only need the basics, and the most important thing is a good running vehicle, everything else will fall into place as you live the life. When you consider the fact that some people can go for months or even years out of a backpack, you realize how little you really need. If you can manage for a week of camping with what you have, you can manage for a month, and then two months. Don't spend a lot of money on stuff you may not need and may regret buying, live the life for a while first, and it will all fall into place. As you gain experience, you will know what you need and don't need, and what things are important to you for comfort and what aren't. I been meaning to do a series of blog posts on this for a while...guess I'll get cracking at it. Good luck...
 
It’s a huge learning curve  but you can do it.  The first time out and said venture you feel lost but you soon find many people who share their experience  and give you great advice. There is so many women traveling alone living in their RVs or vans. Just breath and take one step at a time and you will do great. Walk in peace said:
I'm feeling a little frustrated. I've been going out here and there for a few weeks to a month on the road (usually by myself). Now I'm planning and prepping to head out to the RTR and have a better idea of some of the conditions that are out there on the road. I'm in an SUV, but space is still limited. I've been trying and trying to cut back on the stuff that ends up in the vehicle (I can go a little too far with "Always be prepared!" sometimes). While pairing down on what tags along I also am noticing a lot of things that *should* come along and things that make life bearable on the road. It feels as though my vehicle is just getting more and more crowded and more and more money is hemorrhaging from the coffers (even with money saving hacks). 
It is also very frustrating to have a serious lack of knowledge about vehicles, maintenance, electrical (to include solar), along with not having a majority of the tools to manage the minor construction, maintenance, & repairs needed on the road. 
Thanks for reading. It helps just to say that things are feeling a bit overwhelming as a newbie. :)
 
Top