Let me preface this by saying that I think men are great, most of my closest friends are men, and that I have three lovely sons who have grown into fine men, so this is in no way any kind of "male-bashing," but I really need to vent just a little bit...
I have spent all but the last 6 fabulous years, either answering to, taking care of, listening to, supporting (emotionally and in some cases, financially), accommodating, soothing, cleaning up after, and compromising on behalf of, whatever man I was with at the time. Yes, I do realize this is my own damn fault, and other than upbringing and emotional neediness, there are no other excuses. However, 6 YEARS of fabulous alone time, and now, finally on the road living FREE, has made me a very different woman, who has no desire to get tied down to any man, again.
Why do I bring this up at all? Because I am being driven insane by an ex-boyfriend (my last one, and it only lasted a month, and was long-distance), with whom I have remained friends, and it's my own damn fault, again! A few weeks ago, he posted (Facebook) that after only 9 months, he was getting a divorce. I sent him a message of sympathy, and said to call if he needed to talk, and at first it was nice having 1 or 2 phone calls a week. But somehow, this extension of friendship has morphed into something that feels WAY too much like all the bad parts of a relationship, and I'm getting calls every single night, sometimes twice, and if I'm asleep, he just goes ahead and talks anyway, which means I can't get back to sleep for hours. Even when I'm with my kids/grandkids, which is such precious and rare time for me, and he has said he "won't bug me" he sends a dozen messages until I finally call him to get him to go away. Then, he got irritated because I had to tend to my dog in the middle of a conversation. THEN, at 10:30 last night, while fighting LA traffic and freeway construction in the dark on my return drive from San Diego (my youngest son's high school graduation), he called twice, and when I didn't answer, sent me a message saying that he had called just to hear my voice. Ugh.
I also realized that even though I was enjoying my occasional internet time in the evening, I was logging off (and resenting it) so he wouldn't get a busy signal when he called.
So, yes, I have enabled this whole thing, and I'm super pissed at myself about it, because NOW I have to have "the conversation" (which I am avoiding tonight by staying on line, like a coward) and I was just freaking fine not dealing with men, and living my own daggone life, until I stepped right into the middle of a big fat stinky cow pie.
Thank you for listening. And I really do think men are great. I'm just trying to enjoy my life, unencumbered, in peace.
I have spent all but the last 6 fabulous years, either answering to, taking care of, listening to, supporting (emotionally and in some cases, financially), accommodating, soothing, cleaning up after, and compromising on behalf of, whatever man I was with at the time. Yes, I do realize this is my own damn fault, and other than upbringing and emotional neediness, there are no other excuses. However, 6 YEARS of fabulous alone time, and now, finally on the road living FREE, has made me a very different woman, who has no desire to get tied down to any man, again.
Why do I bring this up at all? Because I am being driven insane by an ex-boyfriend (my last one, and it only lasted a month, and was long-distance), with whom I have remained friends, and it's my own damn fault, again! A few weeks ago, he posted (Facebook) that after only 9 months, he was getting a divorce. I sent him a message of sympathy, and said to call if he needed to talk, and at first it was nice having 1 or 2 phone calls a week. But somehow, this extension of friendship has morphed into something that feels WAY too much like all the bad parts of a relationship, and I'm getting calls every single night, sometimes twice, and if I'm asleep, he just goes ahead and talks anyway, which means I can't get back to sleep for hours. Even when I'm with my kids/grandkids, which is such precious and rare time for me, and he has said he "won't bug me" he sends a dozen messages until I finally call him to get him to go away. Then, he got irritated because I had to tend to my dog in the middle of a conversation. THEN, at 10:30 last night, while fighting LA traffic and freeway construction in the dark on my return drive from San Diego (my youngest son's high school graduation), he called twice, and when I didn't answer, sent me a message saying that he had called just to hear my voice. Ugh.
I also realized that even though I was enjoying my occasional internet time in the evening, I was logging off (and resenting it) so he wouldn't get a busy signal when he called.
So, yes, I have enabled this whole thing, and I'm super pissed at myself about it, because NOW I have to have "the conversation" (which I am avoiding tonight by staying on line, like a coward) and I was just freaking fine not dealing with men, and living my own daggone life, until I stepped right into the middle of a big fat stinky cow pie.
Thank you for listening. And I really do think men are great. I'm just trying to enjoy my life, unencumbered, in peace.
