Single females in SE Texas?

[Terry]

The ill or hurt is the one that worries me. I'm already pretty banged up. That is where my direction leads me to be the rv dweller in the future. I don't expect to find anyone that will assume the responsibility of caring for a disabled person when they aren't able to care for themselves any longer. I don't think there will be enough time for that kind of relationship to come to fruition before the need arises. While I don't have any real plans, I do have directions I expect my world to go in after Cathy's time is done. Since I don't believe there will be anyone to care for me the way i am doing for Cathy, and being pretty banged up already, I expect to find myself in an assisted living facility someday.&nbsp; Right now i own a home in Pensacola that isn't worth a whole lot of money so when the time comes, I will sell/trade this place and get an RV. I don't have the physical strength or money to keep this place up so why waste my life on this place. Especialy when I/my son will lose this place to whatever entinty covers the cost of the assisted living facility. When the time comes, any RV I have at the time won't be worth a whole lot for them to confiscate and sell to cover my expences. Its a win win thing for me. Less up keep and little or no lawn work, and the ability to go wherever I want to, looks a whole lot better than suffering in this place trying just to keep up with the problems to give it away someday.<br>&nbsp; Now I'm not gonna give up looking just because I don't expect to find someone. You know, even a blind squirel finds an acorn every once in a while, so I might get lucky.

 

[TxGypsy]

Terry you might want to check out this website.&nbsp; It's a free service.&nbsp; http://dating4disabled.com/

 

[James AKA Lynx]

Terry- I have seen very few that are happy in an ALF. Plan on the RV. Don't tell people your woes. When you are tired of it&nbsp; -----<br><br>You may be forced to life a life you do not want to.<br><br>James AKA Lynx

 

[Terry]

I'm not anywhere near ready for that site.&nbsp; Cathy is getting a little stronger at this time and I will keep pushing her to get herself stronger. Now, stronger is a relative thing with her. She is now able to get her legs/knees to straighten out so she can hold her own weight up while I pull her panties down before setting on the potty chair. I still have to pick her up to get her to her feet.<br><br>I do kinda plan on the RV but I may just find another dump (house or mobile home) to call my own. I do intend to go out west. I don't plan on an ALF but I don't have high hopes of anyone else taking care of me when I'm unable to do it for myself. My only living son has already informed us that he won't be our keeper. He currently rents out his house and lives with his girlfriend. i'm not afraid of being one of the ones "found dean in his camper after friends call police" someday. I just don't want to suffer a long time waiting on death is the only reason I consider an ALF. Cathy would be forced into an ALF if I weren't able to care for her and that ain't gonna happen as long as I can get up and walk. I have experience with nursing homes from my grandmother and even the best of the ones that would take me in my situation would be a death sentence for Cathy and when it comes my turn, I just will have to do what ever I can and accept what I cannot change. <br>&nbsp;Gosh, I'm too young to be worrying about this type of thing.

 

[TxGypsy]

I do apologize!&nbsp; I had a brain glitch.&nbsp; Those seem to be happening quite a bit this week.&nbsp; Sorry again!

 

[Terry]

NP happens to me a lot lately

 

[Stargazer]

I am wondering, though... The original thread to this is "any single females in SE Texas?" Married, full-time caregiver to the wife who sounds like she is the reason for living. I don't understand. Or maybe I do?

 

[Terry]

Sorry for the confusion.I'm probably the worst culprit here. I have a lot of time to think about everything from my past and wonder about me and my future. I just know that I have never been a happy person when all by myself so I wonder about that part of my life that will someday be. I do love my wife a lot. I have to love her to do all the things I do for her. I don't think it's pity because I don't feel sorry for people very long without getting away from them. Really, I sacrifice all my time for Cathy. I go nowhere aqnd do nothing except what is needed to care for her. She needs me close to be comfortable and I do that for her. It's not like she's a pleasure for me to be around. If we didn't love each other so much, we have absolutely nothing in common to even have a conversation about. The things she likes to talk about, I consider gossip and I actually hate that stuff. When I try to share things with her, I get very frustrated because she doesn't listen, doesn't have the ability to understand most of the things that I care to have a conversation about and keeps asking the same questions over and over.&nbsp; So, yes I love her dearly. No, I ain't in no hurry for this job (caring for Cathy) to end. Yes, there are things I am concerned about coming up someday for me to face. I do think, possibly over think, about just about everything in my world, past, present and future and sometimes discuss these things with people I have never met personally, face to face. So welcome to my world. I'm confused, and probably very confusing to others. I am who I am?

 

[mockturtle]

Terry, as I have been caring for my husband who was diagnosed with Lewy Body Dementia in 2005 for eight years [he has been in a nursing home for the past two--I visit him daily except for rare occasions], I can empathize with your situation.&nbsp; There are a lot of things I would like to do before I'm too old to do them and, though I love my husband dearly, I sometimes dream about the trips I would take and adventures I would have .&nbsp; The difference is that I find I love traveling and camping solo and living alone.&nbsp; Doing volunteer work gives me enough 'social interaction' and I don't want another relationship.&nbsp; Ever.&nbsp;

 

[dragonflyinthesky]

Stargazer. I know there could have been a better thread for Terry but I'm glad he was able to express himself here as opposed to having no one to bounce ideas off of. On this forum, we are allowed to sort through a lot of our emotional baggage in a fairly safe setting and usually with compassion. &nbsp;Most are non judgmental, some are and that's okay I suppose. Life is complicated and we all come from different places in our development and understanding.<br><br>I don't know how hard it is to move and make new threads but it seems there are more than a few caregivers out here that are hurting or have wisdom for coping like mockturtle, for one.&nbsp;<br><br>I think Katie is at capacity with her caregiving right now. When she is stronger and has time maybe she will figure this out.<br>Dragonfly<br><br>edit to add Terry: 8-18-13 &nbsp;This is a little painting I just finished. If you have a printer, will you print it out and give it to your wife-from you?

 

[Lostinspace]

Nice painting Diane.

 

[mockturtle]

Yes, it's lovely.&nbsp; AND inspiring. <img src="/images/boards/smilies/smile.gif" class="emoticon bbc_img">

 

[James AKA Lynx]

I do not mind Terry's comments in this thread. I have gotten NO responses from this thread.<br><br>James AKA Lynx

 

[caseyc]

Match.com ??

 

[James AKA Lynx]

Hard to get a match. IF I smoked, Drank and did drugs, it would be much easier.<br><br>I can rename this thread. Any ideas?<br><br>James AKA Lynx

 

[Stargazer]

Terry and all,

I extend my sincerest apologies! I somehow thought you were the original poster on this thread. My awful mistake and I am very sorry.

 

[Terry]

&nbsp; I don't think smoking cigarets would help but the drinking and drugs might. It would at least lower your standards, or at least the ability to see well enough to keep to those standards. i quit drinking and any drugs that alter my perception and there are a lot more women I can't stand to be around than when I was a walking drunk. That goes for men and children too, no offense to the lady's meant. <br>&nbsp; Sorry for horning in James. My mind just works like that. I start with something on my mind and it just wanders. Same with conversation.

 

[caseyc]

James, it's never too late! Haha! I don't smoke, do drugs, and hardly drink any alcohol myself, so I can relate.&nbsp; Cigarettes and alcohol is an expensive and nasty habit. I'm glad I never got into that.

 

[swankiewheels]

Well, if this isn't an interesting topic.&nbsp; It's kinda "I been there and done that and don't wanna do it again!" kinda topic for me, but I found it interesting to read.&nbsp; Still my comments might be of interest to someone here.&nbsp; I became a single parent in 1970... and now those boys are grown and gone, even a grandchild is grown and gone.&nbsp; In the meantime I have been in many relationships - most lasting 5-7 years, devoted myself to their lives and homes, never building anything for myself.&nbsp; I dated a lot.&nbsp; I had a lot of sex.&nbsp; I loved sex.&nbsp; Stargazer is exactly right on... our hormones change... then our needs and wants change.&nbsp; Back then I was attracted to men in their fifties, today at 69, I find I still am attracted to men in their 50s.&nbsp; Well at least I am consistent.&nbsp;<br><br>And it is true, there are far fewer men out here than woman... it's because the women all over the world, except Nepal, outlive the men as a general rule.&nbsp; If I go to a dance and it's women dancing with women, or married couples, I just have to leave.&nbsp; I am NOT dancing with a woman, and hate the hateful glares given by married women if you eye they hubbies... or even think of grabbing a dance with one of them.&nbsp; Where's the fun in that???&nbsp; If there were four men to every&nbsp;woman and the&nbsp;men were fighting for a chance to dance with me... life would be far better, but the older we get the less that is likely to be the case.<br><br> I even finally found Mr. Right in 2001 but he died soon after we were married.&nbsp; He wanted me to go on, have a life, live... and so I tried but found relationships boring and less than fulfilling.&nbsp; So, why bother?&nbsp; Physically, I know I am not dead... as I met a man this summer that I have feelings for and a spark with.&nbsp; I won't say it scared me, I just realized regardless of what the body was saying to me, my mind and heart just did not want to go there.&nbsp; Having never had any relationship&nbsp; or experience&nbsp;with drinkers or smokers or drug addicts, part of the problem could have been that he was a recovering Alcoholic and smoker... and that concerned me more than just a little.&nbsp; So... I fled the area just as fast as ol' SwankieWheels would take me.&nbsp; I even wrote back an email telling him why I did the disappearing act.&nbsp;<br> <a href="http://swankiewheels.blogspot.com/p/blog-page.html" target="_blank" rel="nofollow">http://swankiewheels.blogspot.com/p/blog-page.html</a><br><br>Now Terry is a handsome and attractive man... he could be wrong about not having time to meet someone who would care for him the way he cares for Cathy.&nbsp; I have meet them.&nbsp; But I'm kinda with TXGypsy, I just don't want a fella anymore.&nbsp; Male friends, great.&nbsp; I can be a good friend.&nbsp; Like jaguarbird11, I too, almost responded to James, but thought "Nah"... there isn't anything I can say really.&nbsp; It would have been more interesting to me though, had he told what he could bring to the table for a woman... i.e. what have you to give to a relationship, rather than what you want from a relationship.&nbsp; I feel that I no longer have anything to bring to the table... nothing left to give.&nbsp; My bucket is empty now, and I'm just trying to put something worthwhile back in it again.&nbsp; I'm happy to just meet some of you along the way, share a little, enjoy the RTR or other gatherings as I can... and go on my solo way.&nbsp; I'm having so much fun out here... I can't see how another person can make it any better for me than I have made it for myself.

 

[swankiewheels]

<img class="bbc_img" src="http://swankiewheels.blogspot.com/p/blog-page.html" rel="lightbox">&nbsp; why can't I insert a photo here/???