Single And Hating It

[dragonflyinthesky]

<P>

<SPAN dir=ltr id=eow-title title="StopMotion Spider Video"><B><FONT size=1>StopMotion Spider Video&nbsp;....</FONT></B></SPAN><BR><FONT size=1></FONT><b>&nbsp;<BR></b><A href="" target=_blank target=_blank><FONT size=1><b></b></FONT></A><BR><FONT size=1>&nbsp;<BR> ....</FONT>

I could barely watch it but it was so funny.&nbsp; Well Cindi, heres your proof, spiders do go into peoples mouths while they sleep.</P>Thanks and pleasent dreams Cindi.&nbsp; I think we do need a spider thread like my leopard thread, was that big spider really in your place?<br><b><FONT color=#00ffff size=3>Dragonfly</FONT></b><br>

 

[VanTramp]

<span dir="ltr" id="eow-title" title="StopMotion Spider Video"><b><font size="1">StopMotion Spider Video&nbsp;....</font></b></span><br><b><font size="1"></font></b>&nbsp;<br><a href="" target="_blank"><b><font size="1"></font></b></a><br><b><font size="1">&nbsp;<br> ....</font></b>

<div><br></div><div>LOL! Well, that one looks like he was worth most of a pound all by himself <img src="/images/boards/smilies/smile.gif" border="0" align="absmiddle"> Great video!&nbsp;</div><div><br></div><div>I really don't worry much about spiders while I am sleeping now. If they are brave enough to ignore the seismic activity in our van at night, I guess I can live with the extra protein in my diet <img src="/images/boards/smilies/smile.gif" border="0" align="absmiddle">&nbsp;</div>

 

[Guest]

&nbsp;Being alone&nbsp; . What I have found&nbsp; ,for the most part, is&nbsp; when you&nbsp; take someone in&nbsp;&nbsp; you&nbsp; are also taking&nbsp; their&nbsp; baggage . Some&nbsp; people&nbsp; just&nbsp; can't seem&nbsp;to&nbsp; live for tomorrow , Their&nbsp; always re-&nbsp;living&nbsp;in the past and all the bad things&nbsp; that has happened to them.&nbsp; You cant&nbsp;expect for someone else to make you happy&nbsp; and make the&nbsp; boggy man&nbsp; go away .And&nbsp; then&nbsp; blame them&nbsp; for not making it happen. Way too many&nbsp; relationships&nbsp; are based on one being a&nbsp; crutch aka "I need Somebody" &nbsp;.&nbsp;<BR>&nbsp;Face&nbsp;your&nbsp;&nbsp;demons, &nbsp;and &nbsp;Kill them. So&nbsp; that&nbsp; your new&nbsp; relationships&nbsp; are as free as your new&nbsp;life style. Get&nbsp;rid of the excess baggage, No one wants to&nbsp; carry it..really&nbsp; they dont &nbsp;, and nether should you.&nbsp; Throw it&nbsp; away and be&nbsp; burdaned&nbsp;, or a burdan , no more. Force your self to plan and look to&nbsp;the future.&nbsp; Do not allow your self to live in and for&nbsp;the past. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; <br>

 

[Guest]

"<span id="post_message_1270735812">when you&nbsp; take someone in you are <b>also taking their baggage</b>"<br>"</span><span id="post_message_1270735812">You can't&nbsp;expect <b>someone else</b> to make you happy"<br>"</span><span id="post_message_1270735812">Way too many&nbsp; relationships&nbsp; are based on "I <b>need</b> somebody"<br><br><img src="https://vanlivingforum.com/images/boards/smilies/thumb.gif" align="absmiddle" border="0">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; <img src="https://vanlivingforum.com/images/boards/smilies/thumb.gif" align="absmiddle" border="0"><img src="https://vanlivingforum.com/images/boards/smilies/thumb.gif" align="absmiddle" border="0"><img src="https://vanlivingforum.com/images/boards/smilies/thumb.gif" align="absmiddle" border="0">&nbsp;</span><span id="post_message_1270735812"><img src="../images/boards/smilies/thumb.gif" align="absmiddle" border="0"><br><font size="4">Right on. </font><br>Now if only more people were capable of thinking this way, let alone living it.<br></span>

 

[Seraphim]

What about a relationship based on you doing for them, rather than expecting them to make you happy?

 

[WanderingRonin]

I hear most of ya on this. <img src="/images/boards/smilies/smile.gif" border="0" align="absmiddle"><div>I quit being active on the dating sites as well.</div><div>I don't want to remain in this town anyway so a relationship will just be a hindrance (although a looser one would not be out of the question...)</div><div>Like some on here, I have stopped being active also because I know exactly what most women want and whatever it is it's not often in sync with my lifestyle. They all want the stick and brick and want to remain in one spot.&nbsp;</div><div>Some want to travel, but of course, their idea of travel is a weekend or a week of rushing through various places on the itinerary... touristy stuff. Not interesting to me. It's frightening that the older I get, the more I seem to dismiss people and "profile" them all to easily.&nbsp;</div><div><br></div><div>I could be mistaken, but of course, I am almost always right on the money --especially with my last relationship.&nbsp;</div><div>Man, I knew it would be an impossibility. But love does make you do strange things beyond your mental comprehension.</div><div>So for a while, I did live in a dream-like limbo. But now that I have woken up again from the haze, I now realize in hindsight it was really not meant to be.</div><div><br></div><div>Oh well...</div><div>Personally, I'm really close to not caring anymore.</div><div>I am determined to be happy with my own company.&nbsp;</div><div>I've already lived a long good life so far. No cancer, no major illness... Wrote a few books... left my mark on the world, if not the Library of Congress... I'd like to think I'd done my bit to immortalize my name in the field of literature (It ain't Shakespeare or Thomas Jefferson level, but I'll be content to be in the list at all, even if it's near the bottom.)... It'll have to be enough. I'll be content to live like this.</div><div>If women overlook me, well, it's just their loss, I suppose.</div><div><br></div><div>Well, I got to go.</div><div>Thanksgiving tomorrow.</div><div>Peace to all.</div><div><br></div>

 

[WanderingRonin]

<table width="100%" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="nested_invisible_table" height="100%" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; text-align: left; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); "><tbody><tr><td colspan="4" valign="top" style="font-size: 13px; border-top-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-bottom-style: none; border-left-style: none; padding-top: 2px; padding-right: 2px; padding-bottom: 2px; padding-left: 2px; border-width: initial; border-color: initial; "></td></tr>

<tr><td colspan="4" valign="top" style="font-size: 13px; border-top-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-bottom-style: none; border-left-style: none; padding-top: 2px; padding-right: 2px; padding-bottom: 2px; padding-left: 2px; border-width: initial; border-color: initial; "><hr size="1"></td></tr><tr><td colspan="4" valign="top" height="100%" style="font-size: 13px; border-top-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-bottom-style: none; border-left-style: none; padding-top: 2px; padding-right: 2px; padding-bottom: 2px; padding-left: 2px; border-width: initial; border-color: initial; "><span id="post_message_1270325709">I always relocate the spiders from our living area. Heidi says it is part of the marriage contract LOL! Catch and release is worth doing, spiders are cool critters, just don't need them right inside with us of course.</span></td></tr>

</tbody><tbody><br></tbody><tbody>I also do catch and release... but for different reasons. It's more like I don't want to accidentally step on them or snag their web in any way. I also want them to do better so the chances of them snagging prey is higher outdoors where all the other insects are.&nbsp;<br><tr><td colspan="4" valign="top" height="100%" style="font-size: 13px; border-top-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-bottom-style: none; border-left-style: none; padding-top: 2px; padding-right: 2px; padding-bottom: 2px; padding-left: 2px; border-width: initial; border-color: initial; "><span id="post_message_1270325709"></span></td></tr></tbody></table>

 

[Big]

Hmmmm an alien is an interesting concept...LOL

 

[WanderingRonin]

I find that although some of us are alone, we aren't lonely.<div>As opposed to so many in relationships who aren't physically alone... but can be the loneliest people in the world...</div><div>Some live with a bad spouse and they live in constant fear, anxiety and stress... for what? So that they're not alone? So they can keep appearances in front of society?</div><div>It is the same fear that gripped slaves that were unwilling to leave their masters. The "unknown" is more frightening to those who aren't adventurous or brave enough to step out on the ledge.</div>

 

[Big]

for lack of a better word and I know I will catch it for this from at least one person here, I have a saying, and it is probably someone else's saying, it goes like this<br><div>"unnecessary&nbsp;possessions become unnecessary burdens, because you have to maintain them".......not that a woman is a possession and I suppose it could work in the same frame of reference for a woman towards keeping a man around...<img src="/images/boards/smilies/smile.gif" border="0" align="absmiddle"></div>

 

[phaedrus]

<div>I will be at the RTR next month. &nbsp;The relationship thing is kind of a mystery and many of you said some great things in your posts. &nbsp;You might want to watch this college lecture on love from the view of Plato. &nbsp;</div><div><br></div><div>I think you will find as I did that this video series sums it up pretty well. &nbsp;Very philosophical. &nbsp;Enjoy....</div><div><br></div><div><br></div>

 

[Seraphim]

<P>"Love is a condition when the other person's happiness is essential to your own."</P><BR>Another Heinlein quote. <br><br>All this talk of ownership and slavery&nbsp;in a relationship; I wonder if it's not the attitude with which one enters a partnership that makes the difference as to its success?<br>

 

[Wild_E]

Seraphim;<div>the answer to your ponderings is NO...</div><div>the other person makes or breaks the relationship in my point of view. I entered the last with all the right thoughts and emotions. They changed theirs without telling me!</div>

 

[Seraphim]

I think the "takes two to tango" metaphor applies. BOTH people have to have the same attitude. It doesn't work if only 1/2 of the equation is serious. So I'll disagree and say YES, attitude makes a difference, but it can't overcome all obstacles if it's not mutual.

I dated a lot, but kept breaking off relationships because of different attitudes and expectations - I knew they weren't going to last, and I wanted a long term relationship. Met DW and we dated exclusively for 4 years. By then, we knew it was a solid relationship, we were both looking for the same things, and married.

I wonder how long the average 'engagement' period lasts, and how that affects the sustainability of a marriage.

And based on Heinleins definition of 'love', I wonder how many people have a relationship that meets that definition, or are they just looking for someone to meet their own personal needs...

DW was the first girl whose happiness I actually cared about, whose happiness was as important to me as my own.

 

[Big]

<b style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); "><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_A._Heinlein" class="extiw" title="w:Robert A. Heinlein" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 102); background-image: none; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: initial; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; " target="_blank">Robert Anson Heinlein</a></b><span style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); ">&nbsp;(</span><span class="mw-formatted-date" title="1907-07-07" style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); "><a href="http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/July_7" title="July 7" style="text-decoration: none; color: rgb(11, 0, 128); background-image: none; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; " target="_blank">7 July</a>&nbsp;<a href="http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/1907" title="1907" style="text-decoration: none; color: rgb(11, 0, 128); background-image: none; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; " target="_blank">1907</a></span><span style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); ">&nbsp;–&nbsp;</span><span class="mw-formatted-date" title="1988-05-08" style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); "><a href="http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/May_8" title="May 8" style="text-decoration: none; color: rgb(11, 0, 128); background-image: none; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; " target="_blank">8 May</a>&nbsp;<a href="http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/1988" title="1988" style="text-decoration: none; color: rgb(11, 0, 128); background-image: none; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; " target="_blank">1988</a></span><span style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); ">) was one of the most popular, influential, and controversial authors of&nbsp;</span><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/science_fiction" class="extiw" title="w:science fiction" style="text-decoration: none; color: rgb(102, 51, 102); background-image: none; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px; " target="_blank">science fiction</a><span style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); ">&nbsp;of the 20th Century.</span><div><span style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); "><br></span></div><div><span style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); ">It takes two do a lot of things and the Tango is just a dance....and since Heinlein is an author of science fiction, maybe his definition of love is just science fiction...<img src="/images/boards/smilies/smile.gif" border="0" align="absmiddle"><img src="/images/boards/smilies/smile.gif" border="0" align="absmiddle"><img src="/images/boards/smilies/smile.gif" border="0" align="absmiddle"><img src="/images/boards/smilies/smile.gif" border="0" align="absmiddle"></span></div><div><span style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); ">I for one have had, and still have a wonderful relationship with life, which I love... LOL</span></div>

 

[Seraphim]

HeinLien was so influential because he took the genre beyond science and delved into the meaning of relationships.

"Within the framework of his science fiction stories, Heinlein repeatedly addressed certain social themes: the importance of individual liberty and self-reliance, the obligation individuals owe to their societies, the influence of organized religion on culture and government, and the tendency of society to repress nonconformist thought. He also examined the relationship between physical and emotional love, explored various unorthodox family structures, and speculated on the influence of space travel on human cultural practices. His approach to these themes led to wildly divergent opinions on what views were being expounded via his fiction."


His books were more essays on humanity, and human relations, and focussed
little on the the science themes which were merely the transport device of the story.

 

[Seraphim]

... Depending on the need of the person, whether it is loneliness or solitude.

But loneliness can be a state mind, not just a physical state of being.

 

[Seraphim]

Good point...

 

[mockturtle]

I only feel lonely when I'm in a crowd of people but never when I'm truly alone. <br>

 

[Seraphim]

When I'm in a crowd of people, I feel the NEED to be alone.