Are relationships a trap?/ split from: Relationships started while Traveling Single.....?

[wb8vyn]

Thanks for the update! I've been wondering about your travel adventures. Where have you been since you left your house?
Please come to the Rubber Tramp Rendezvous. https://homesonwheelsalliance.org/2024RTRs/ Lots of friendly people!

Got into a chattaroo with a trucker-- young guy, couldn't find his butt with both hands with a map AND gps... Had a low "tar" (tyre)(tire). Anyhow, got out my hose, gen and compressor and amazed him that old farts know stuff and could also move a little.
Anyhoo, decided to travel some back roads for a few days. Getting chilly at night but still ok to step outside for a smoke in the middle of the night.
Stopped at a country store, got some hamburgler and a loaf of bread, some cookies. Can't starves us old guys either. A little mustard and there you have a gor met dinner.
This road has a center stripe and is mostly paved. It's dark so I'm guessing I'm headed kinda west.
I found a wide spot to park. Think I'll sleep some -- gonna get south of Chicago a good bit while in Indiana then continue west across Illi noisy into Kansas. Do they speak English in Kansas?
These harvest machines take up the whole road.
The doctor asked me if I smoked. I told her yes but I roll my own. Her name is Elizabeth. She told me that was good and to stay away from tailor maidens since they had bad stuff in them.
She called me yesterday to tell me that I had a bad number - some alphabet number that had shot up since last year. Told me to see a specialist. Read up on it and decided my baby makin days are over so ain't going to do anything that involves cutting and stitching or pills that make my voice go high pitched. I like to grumble, and you can't if your voice is squeaky.
Well, that's it. If I run into an ocean, I've gone too far.
Ken

 

[NctryBen]

Well, they have a good surgery for that with a good surgeon. There are risks, but high pitched voice isn’t usually one of them. I watched a guy suffer about ten years of off and on radiation and chemo. When he heard I had it he would tell me to get it cut out… (his words). So I did… and have been cancer free during which time my buddy died… I took a hit more then most because of a previous surgery… but have had zero of the big c stuff with that since. And I don’t squeak at all!!! Haha!
Not saying I can’t get it in something else at some point. But they have what you speak of figured out pretty good I believe.

 

[maki2]

Surgery procedures and the recovery are for the most part now done with minimally invasive techniques. Many of them are done in outpatient clinics and there is not even an overnight stay. But of course the risks for complications can sometimes be higher for older persons who have various other underlying health conditions.

My attitude about such things is to get the surgery if it is a commonly done procedure that has predictably good results and get on with living my best life instead of putting up with those miserable symptoms for the rest of my life.

 

[wb8vyn]

Thanks for the update! I've been wondering about your travel adventures. Where have you been since you left your house?
Please come to the Rubber Tramp Rendezvous. https://homesonwheelsalliance.org/2024RTRs/ Lots of friendly people!

You asked about my travels since I left my "house". That's the correct term. No longer a home, just a house, "sticks and bricks".
I've been traveling in a wider and wider circle around my starting point. A bit shy about going further so that if it didn't work for me I could go back. Not happening! So now I travel further away and am looking forward to the next stopping place like a new adventure.
I did know that I had to limit my travel for a time until my drivers license was renewed and doctor stuff for the year was complete.
So now that stuff is completed and new decisions have to be faced. I've decided to widen my circle to thousands of miles instead of hundreds, never to return to the place I've called home that no longer exists other than a gps location.
In fact, my memories are just pictures of a past that no longer exists. Places no longer exist. It's all new and belongs to those that follow and soon I will no longer exist other than maybe a photo.
So, If all goes to plan, I'll be in AZ this fall, drinking coffee and consuming frozen meals sitting in my folding chair, looking at the night sky that never seems to change thank goodness.
Ken

 

[rruff]

Blood work says I've got a big problem to deal with and decide what action to take.

I don't know what your issue is, but 8 years ago my 84 year old dad canceled a trip to Germany. A few months earlier, I'd asked him what was the #1 thing he wanted to do before he died and he said "take a trip to Germany", and I said I'd make the arrangements and go with him. He canceled because the doc said he needed aortic artery surgery. He had the surgery, went downhill rapidly afterwards, and died.

Whatever you have is surely different, but surgery is hard on an 85 year old, and... well... I hope ignoring the doc's advice is the right move. Attitude is incredibly important. If you really want to live, the odds are good you live a long time yet. Having something to live for and new experiences are important, too.

 

[LargeMarge]

With decades of weekend workshops with Human Awareness Institute (HAI), I and my caravan chums have a vast network of workshoppers with a similar understanding of 'relation-ship'...
... and relation-dinghy.
.
* How long do two (or more) individuals need prior to accomplishing that due-diligence?
* How many conversations -- or, my preference, how many cuddles -- prior to mailing in the proof-of-purchase to validate the warranty?
.
In my case, I seem to be some kind of bizarre people magnet.
I get a few straights -- they confidently stride in, then quickly scurry back to the safety illusion of StraightsVille... and that's OK -- but bizarre is my normal.
.
A meme this morning seems to describe a lot of 'loners' seeking the company of a similar-minded individual...

 

[LargeMarge]

Oops!, wrong meme.
I intended to clarify the whole shootin' match with one simple motto for a realistic companion search.
.
This fits me like a XL welding glove:

 

[Malamute]

Surgery procedures and the recovery are for the most part now done with minimally invasive techniques. Many of them are done in outpatient clinics and there is not even an overnight stay. But of course the risks for complications can sometimes be higher for older persons who have various other underlying health conditions.

My attitude about such things is to get the surgery if it is a commonly done procedure that has predictably good results and get on with living my best life instead of putting up with those miserable symptoms for the rest of my life.

^^^ This.

When my doc referred me to an oncologist because of something they found on a imaging when looking for something else, she just kept saying "Im so sorry". The oncologist was great, they figured it out, did a short chemo vacation, and its been fine so far the past 7 years. I refer to my oncologist as my fortune teller now.

Other people asked if I was worried or scared going in alone to get the chemo for 5 days, well, no. They do this all the time, Its their daily routine, go let them do what they do, recover, drive on, literally and figuratively.

 

[INTJohn]

Love at first fight.
opposite attract?

jonny boi has outgrown it

 

[Malamute]

 

[wb8vyn]

Been thinkin (Some more)
Several have commented, and I appreciate the time and thought required.
At the end of thought and discussion, I alone must decide what action to take or not take. Either way there will be no do over.
There are many facts that I must take into consideration, and experiences that weigh me in one direction or the other.
So my first choice is to find first hand, those That have made those choices that face me and hear them out.
Those here who have faced the choice will be part of the process.
I've already made one selection, (keep moving). So I may see you face to face down the road although I won't be seeking a shoulder to lean on, so you may never see me.
Here is another choice I've made. At 85, I have outlived my usefulness. I take up space and consume resources. I no longer have anything to give back.
Facts are stubborn things. Ignore them at your own peril.
I have my wants. I want to enjoy this day and more to come but not at the expense of others.
More to follow but first, I have put on my pants, what will the neighbors think?
Ken

 

[BelgianPup]

View attachment 34429
Love at first fight.
opposite attract?

jonny boi has outgrown it

My stomach heaved at this.

 

[BelgianPup]

I come from at least three generations of narcissistic sociopaths. I'm (relatively) normal. GUESS what I attract?

 

[INTJohn]

My stomach heaved at this.

yep

 

[user 22017]

I want to enjoy this day and more to come but not at the expense of others.

85 years of experience is useful enough, but who says you must be useful anyway? It is your life, not anyone else's.

But if YOU require yourself to be "useful" in old age, that is your choice, too.

Other cultures/countries revere their elders due to their age alone. Especially in Asia. Here we revere youth.

I read an article about the dangers of killing off the old animals in herds. Scientists have learned that herds where the oldest members are alive fair better than herds where they lost their elder(s). I should find the article, because I liked how they explained why they think it happens. But elders are vital. They studied elephant herds.

 

[RonDean]

Interesting segues on the value of life and perhaps the original thread of the ways to live it.

I like the thought that life only needs value to the person living it. I think this should also extend to all the other creatures we share the planet with, which we all too often ignore. As far as being valuable to the herd, I think that sort of requires the herd to agree in some way.

As far as the sexual/gender aspect of the relationship trap question, I'm thinking that this might be very important to some but much less so to others. I am now knocking on 80 and find myself able to enjoy the company (or not) of others regardless of their sexual preferences or identity. I wonder how I or anyone could ever have cared when we weren't personally involved in said relationship. It's like getting all worked up about what sports team someone else follows. Just don't expect ME to put on that Cowboy jersey!