Should You Tell Your Family & Friends?

[blueberry]

I've wanted to do this for over 50 years... can't believe it's taken that long to finally get serious about it. My family has been nothing but encouraging--I even got a Luggable Loo and a 5 gallon water jug for Christmas. In fact, my son loaned me $500 for a down payment on a van, but I got cold feet and gave it back. I'd rather wait until I can pay cash. He does worry about my safety, though, and plans to buy some mace for me. I thought that was sweet.<br><br>The only less-than enthusiastic response came from friends who *had* to live in their car for several years. They would never do it by choice after that experience, but they're still supportive. I feel very lucky to have such supportive friends and family, especially after reading this thread!

 

[WanderingRain]

<p>&nbsp;</p><p>Thanks for asking the question, Bob. You are the Piper and I am just one more curious mouse tramping after your footsteps. <img rel="lightbox" src="/images/boards/smilies/smile.gif" class="bbc_img"><br>Only my immediate family knows about my lifestyle plus a few close friends. Other than that, I keep my van life a secret. No reason to tell anyone else. When you come over to their place and admire their house they bask in that and actually forget to ask you where you live.<br>It'll probably be obvious one day when I begin rolling around in an actual Winnebago and parking right up front. That's the time to tell the rest of the family, I suppose.<br><br>I'd actually do the same thing over again if given the chance. Just family and close friends. I know who can take the news well and who can't.<br><br><br>It's similar to when I left Christianity earlier this year.&nbsp;<br>Just like some of them don't know I live in a van, most of my relatives think I just switched religions and became a Buddhist Jain.&nbsp;<br>Compared to that, telling family you live in a van becomes far less controversial!&nbsp;</p>

 

[von_jonah]

My middle brother likes the idea and would probably tag along if he was old enough. My mom keeps telling me that I absolutely can't live in a place with no toilet... my dad says that my plan won't work. My grandma just asked if I was gonna be some kind of gypsy or something. My best friend doesn't think it's a bad idea he just said I'd be back home in a month. <br><br>I pretty much have a feeling of who else is gonna approve and who won't.. to which I couldn't care less. I love my friends but I can't change how I wanna live for them. I'll still visit. I just know that if I don't do it, that it'll be 50 years later and I'll have not done it but I'll still want to.<br><br>There is the problem of actually finding a girl my age that would be cool with living on the road but I'll cross that bridge when I get there.&nbsp;<img rel="lightbox" src="/images/boards/smilies/thumb.gif" class="bbc_img">

 

[Sheryl]

We have been telling out kids for years that we are going to go live in the wilderness, probably on the east coast where land is cheap and just get away from the world, be self sufficient and off grid as soon as we can. My son and his wife just think we are weird, my daughter says that's ok as long as we aren't just running away from things (I don't get what's wrong with running away from stress???). &nbsp;My husband's parents took it in stride for awhile until we actually bought the camper, then they said surprised, "You aren't really doing that, are you!". I guess they thought it was just a pipe dream that we say we would like to do some day. They were quite negative about it and worried about us, once we were actually on our way.&nbsp;<br><br>My best and closest friend loved the idea, our camper and everything about it! She is going to get a camper and live at a nearby lake in it next summer. She's in the army, so can't really take off in a camper permanently but she joined the army at 40 to travel, so she gets it. Some people get it and some people just never will. We don't care. We have not kept in touch with the family since we left anyway. My friend is the only person we converse with. Our blog keeps the others up to date and we don't worry about it. We try our best to stay away from negative people. We don't need them.<br><br><br><br><br>

 

[Varmint]

I should preface this with the fact that I'm in my late-50's and have retired.

My family generally thinks I'm a bit flakey anyway, so their opinion isn't much concern to me. My own dad, however is, and always has been almost desperate to do anything to stop me from having, doing, or being anything I want, unless it's what HE wants or chooses for me. I've never been interested in anything he wants or values, so I expect real trouble when he finds out I've built the trailer I want to live in. He is a very over-bearing, obsessive-compulsive control freak that has extreme difficulty accepting anything outside his own little "box". Some of you have already experienced a slight episode of this yourself (You aren't actually SERIOUS about doing that, are you?!). I find this behavior amusing in a tragic sort of way, as he's driven almost everyone away over the years until he only has one friend that ever visits with him at all now, and my brother has been looking for another place of his own, too, and for the same reason.

I plan to "break him in" in stages before full-timing it, though, so that may make things easier and less stressful for him. Camping for days or weeks at a time should do it. Staying here being "warehoused" in a house/lifestyle I hate is stressful to me, however, and I really do need my alone time and space. You already know the affliction, as it drove you all to your own vans, trailers, tents, etc....

Along with an old friend, my son thinks it's a great idea, and we freely discuss it, as well as the many advantages of such a lifestyle. I'm hoping he gets bitten by the bug one day, but, like me, he tends to march to the beat of his own drummer, and I'm not about to mess with his life pushing MY ideas on him like my dad did to me.

I may post more info on how this all works out, as well as my progress and choices on the trailer. And I almost forgot....I told them and I don't give a $hiite what they think!

Enjoy the freedom, folks!
73 de Varmint

 

[DollarJoe67]

I already don't speak to my family.&nbsp; My friends think I'm crazy.&nbsp; My roomate didn't really believe me until I sold the sofa sectional YESTERDAY wooowhoooo!&nbsp; Thats $$$$ to the van fund.&nbsp; On the move.&nbsp; Its funny, he is afraid that I'm going to sell the house and not give him enough time to find another place to live.&nbsp; Soooo ironic.&nbsp; I don't think my coworkers are going to believe me until I show up one night only to quit and leave.&nbsp; That is going to be epic.

 

[Guest]

all of my young'ins are grown. i have tried to actually talk one of my daughters into this. she is 23, has worked as STNA for several years. is burnt out. pays thru the nose for a tiny closet apt.<br><br>i showed her this and other websites. offered to help her set it all up. i think she would love it. <br>she has a small car right now and she is tall. she would need to trade it in. i offered her to come live with me for a little while while she worked around here and got a better vehicle and set it up. then travel and do work kamping. she is single and no children, no real ties. she can come back and visit.<br><br>why would anyone care what anyone else thinks? if they are not paying your bills and you are not dependent on them..you can tell them if you feel so inclined, but basically it is your life. just like they have their choices to make, you have yours.<br><br>i am sort of in a situation similar to judy (hugs sweet judy). but i am still hoping, planning and dreaming.<br><br>the issue i have right now is i tore my rotator cuff, no insurance, and until it heals i am much limited.<br>i still am able to do a good many things but limited also. <br><br>my oldest daughter and her husband and preschooler, were going to try this last year. basically live at a state park for a few months. i gave them a large nice tent and other camp stuff. encouraged them. but, hubster has a good job, they need the insurance and there were other issues, so they got apt instead.<br><br>if one were able to do this lifestyle, even for a little while, i would encourage them to go for it!

 

[havingfunnow]

I am in the fortunate position of having no contact with my birth family (except for legalities when somebody dies). This has improved my life enormously; I wish I'd done it much sooner.<br><br>My heart family is a wonderful, loving bunch. Responses are like this:<br><br>Son:&nbsp; "I want you to be happy, Mom."&nbsp; (I love you too, son.)<br>kids/teens:&nbsp; "I want to come too!" (On school breaks, when you're tall enough to travel in the front passenger seat.)<br>20s/30s:&nbsp; "I wish I could." and "I'd drive that rig as far into the woods at it could go and listen to the forest."&nbsp; (So take some time off and come along.)<br>40s +:&nbsp; "Meet you at such-and-such."&nbsp; and "We always enjoy your projects."&nbsp; (For sure!) <br><br>One sister, who is rather emotionally dependent, is having some problems, but she'll come around.<br><br>Aren't they a great bunch?

 

[dragonflyinthesky]

@ havingfun Your heart family is indeed good.&nbsp; With so much unhappiness and turmoil in so many lives, I loved reading your post.<BR><BR>@ Aunt Meg&nbsp; I hope you were able to get your tent and stuff back for your own use if you ever need it.<BR><SPAN style="COLOR: #ff00ff"><STRONG><BR>Dragonfly</STRONG></SPAN>

 

[She]

No family to tell even if I could. I told a few friends. To my surprise none thought I was nuts. They do ask a lot of questions. So they are more&nbsp;curious&nbsp;then revolted about it. I told a few co workers ,one left so only 2 know. Wish I kept my mouth shut about it but one guy is very&nbsp;knowledgeable&nbsp;about vans and traveling so he is good for me to know. I wish I kept shut about it because I really don't want this to spread...it will die off I guess if I continue to&nbsp;keep&nbsp;quiet about now. Nothing to flame the fire so to speak.

 

[LughTheBard]

I haven't really spoken to my blood family about this. I don't really communicate that much with them. Two of my three sisters act as if they hate me, so I'm not very motivated to talk to them. Though I have nothing against my aunts an uncles, they have always seemed a bit bewildered by me. The only people (still living) in my family who have made any attempt to communicate with me are my mother, one of my sisters, and a niece. My niece is caught up in her own drama of friends and family, I'll talk to her sometime about it. My sister will probably think it's a cool idea, but would never do something like this. And my mother would think I'm crazy, but she often does think I'm a little off. But she's likely to like it that I'll be able to visit her now! Most of my friends know I love to travel and love a good adventure. They'll look forward to the stories. This is one of the main reasons I want to do this. My inmost self is a Wandering Minstrel, a Bard who travels and sings and tells stories, living adventures and telling the tale of his life. I never saw the survey, so I have no idea what answers I might have used. I wish I'd been able to tell my dad, but he died before I hit the road in a bus the first time. I think he would have loved the idea!

 

[SoulRaven]

I'm not sure if anyone thought I was nuts, everyone was supportive, even if they didn't understand how I could be so happy living out of a suitcase in motels across the country. But I had a job, and both them and I was happy about that. I was relocating U-Haul trucks all over the country.

I was happy, and got to travel constantly and get paid for it, so I think my parents were mainly happy that I had a good paying job, even if it was on the road.

My next job I was a Greyhound relief driver, and was still living out of a suitcase in motels.

Finally I decided to drive truck, but they required a home address, so I bought a little piece of ground and built an off the grid cabin. Then I spent the better part of 30 years living in a sleeper cab, that I had converted into a micro apartment with a toilet, shower, kitchen, bed etc. Life was good, no more motels, and I could cook my own meals.

So I spent pretty much all of my life on the road, and since I always had a good job, everyone just came to accept that as my lifestyle, and when I would show up for gatherings, they all wanted to hear of my travels.

They thought it odd that when I retired, I moved into a cabin on the opposite end of the country, but when I told them that I would be traveling north every summer, that made everyone happy.

So I don't know if I qualify to give an answer, my life just kind of happened. At 15 I got a job washing U-Haul trucks, and after I graduated they offered me a full time truck relocation driver position, so I took it. Then life just sort of worked itself out after that.

 

[GotSmart]

Still can't find the poll~~~

Not one person tried talking me out of it. The one thing my kids insisted on, was I get a new "smart" phone so I can keep in touch, and post good pictures. Everyone seems envious of my plans. My landlord is keeping me so busy I am having trouble finding time to finish the van project. (I should have the money for the solar conversion!)

My pharmacy will forward all my meds. My Physician has an electronic notification system, where he will update my meds for me with just an email request.

My family is all wanting me to stop and see them.

Using my daughter's home address for my insurance purposes will give me legal credibility with LEO, and for all my banking I have digital deposit.

Of course the longer I am on the road, the more they will wonder about me.

 

[Drifted_Cowboy]

We told everyone we were leaving ND. And regretted it. We told everyone we were leaving the US. And regretted it. We've told no one we're leaving their world on Saturday. No regrets.

People seem to fear freedom and what it represents. It's scary.

 

[Patrick46]

here ya go....

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/Gc11mJGre10" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

 

[Drifted_Cowboy]

All walks of life....

 

[mockturtle]

Yes, of course. Most thought it was a great idea and expressed a wish to do likewise when they retire.

 

[kyonu]

Well, I'm young. Second or third youngest in my entire family. As such, my family was not very approving, kept making remarks or oppositions and so forth. So they aren't too pleased, but the way I plan to live my life makes me be able to do everything I can already do (and do already do), but see the world while I'm at it. They simply don't understand, and have no perspective. They got caught in the swirl of death (IE capitalism), and they don't wish to leave it. Lady friend's family won't know until we're already gone.

 

[Patrick46]

the "Swirl of Death"...or the Swill of Death


gotta remember that one!

 

[anm]

Ha! They thought I was crazy when I disconnected my cable a couple years ago...

LOL