Should You Tell Your Family & Friends?

[caseyc]

I don't know if I posted to this thread. But I haven't told any of my family members in the past 2 years of doing this. I don't want them to worry about me nor to ask me questions. Only a tiny handful of friends know. Makes things easier for me.

 

[USExplorer]

No desire to stay in the closet for me. I make it known to everyone I know and everyone I meet. My car dwelling lifestyle, that is. 99% of people are supportive, and many are quite jealous. 


Now if I was broke and living in a van down by the river because I could not afford a non-wheeled home, I would probably want to hide my status from employers and those I know.

 

[Thunder Dan]

I'm a 40 year old man. I am not living in a van yet, but I'm working toward it. When my mother found out (whom I haven't lived with in 20 years) she started trying to convince me not to. She has tried several tactics, telling me everything I could lose, trying to use religion, telling me it's not what God wants, everything under the sun. I just tell her she doesn't have to live in a van but, if I want to, that's my choice. She's not happy about it. My dad keeps his mouth closed unless you ask him his opinion. I haven't asked him. My brother is skeptical but encouraging. He thinks if it turns out to be awesome then he will be jealous. I don't think my sister really understands what I'm trying to do. My other brother who lives in another state probably doesn't even know.

 

[GotSmart]

I'm a 40 year old man. I am not living in a van yet, but I'm working toward it. When my mother found out (whom I haven't lived with in 20 years) she started trying to convince me not to. She has tried several tactics, telling me everything I could lose, trying to use religion, telling me it's not what God wants, everything under the sun. I just tell her she doesn't have to live in a van but, if I want to, that's my choice. She's not happy about it. My dad keeps his mouth closed unless you ask him his opinion. I haven't asked him. My brother is skeptical but encouraging. He thinks if it turns out to be awesome then he will be jealous. I don't think my sister really understands what I'm trying to do. My other brother who lives in another state probably doesn't even know.

If god did not want you to be a dweller, he would not have created vans.  

 

[akrvbob]

 she started trying to convince me not to. She has tried several tactics, telling me everything I could lose, trying to use religion, telling me it's not what God wants, 

You might try to explain to her that nearly every religion and spirituality has held asceticism (voluntary poverty) as one of it's highest values and considered money to be a source of pain and sorrow. They nearly all teach the holier you are, the less you have. 

Tell her you're trying to be a holy man like Buddha, Gandhi or John the Baptist, that'll really shake her up!
Bob,

 

[highdesertranger]

just leave Rasputin out. highdesertranger

 

[Gary68]

my dad is a drunk living in a 68 airstream somewhere sooo...

 

[Michelle (GMC Gypsy)]

Most of my family has had a bad case of wanderlust forever. Those who didn't learned a long time ago to accept those of us who did. No condemnation from anyone, so far. Even the man I sold my car to didn't bat an eye when I told him where the money was going to go.


Not that I give a rat's a$$ what anyone thinks of me. 

 

[SaltySeaWitch]

Not that I give a rat's a$$ what anyone thinks of me. 

I like you Michelle lol.

 

[GotSmart]

When I told my family, I was informed to give them a heads up when I was in their area.  

These are what some of the family hits the road in.  All three tears, as well as the car and trucks are home built.  The Stake bed has 2 Olds 455 engines with Nitrous.  (Kids!) 

I am not that strange. 

 

[VanKitten]

I have been living on the road basically for the last 20+ years.  

Moving from one place to next with the seasons.   

Everyone knows this.  Whenever I speak to anyone on the phone..the first question is always.."where are you"?   The answer is almost never the same as the last time.

The daughter of a good friend asked me once "where are you living"?   I had a tough time with that..after stammering for a bit, she came back with "ok, where are you spending most of your time"?   Ah, that's easy..My car

There isn't anyone to tell.   It is old news  

As for new people I meet.  Nope, I tell no one.

 

[MrNoodly]

I told them my plans before I hit the road. Most thought I was a little weird, but they have always thought that. Some were envious.

 

[Txjaybird]

Hi Bob, Good question as usual. When I would look at my cell phone and NOBODY had called me for a month and a half. My children lived 7 miles away and never been to my place. I am a loner in the true sense of the word. But I am good company so it's all good. I drug them across )Hawaii,Germany 3 times and half the US. Before I retired from the Army. Maybe it's payback? Ha.   Anyway I did tell them. The two sons said "go dad go" and the daughter does not talk to me.If you look up dysfunctional in Webster's there the picture of my family standing there. HoboJoe

Hello   Your using the word dysfunctional in this post reminded me of a sign I saw in a craft mall......On weathered wood there was a small tree branch with numerous types of nuts , some obviously cracked....... the writing said..."MY BRANCH OF OUR FAMILY TREE HAS A LOT OF NUTS" my sister wants one when I make mine however we both agree our Mother will not see the humor so we just will not show them to her..   TJB

 

[Txjaybird]

When I told my family, I was informed to give them a heads up when I was in their area.  

These are what some of the family hits the road in.  All three tears, as well as the car and trucks are home built.  The Stake bed has 2 Olds 455 engines with Nitrous.  (Kids!) 

I am not that strange. 

:heart: Those are absolutely gorgeous!!!!!        30 years later and I'm still P.O. about being forced into Home Yeck instead of shop or welding.         TJB

 

[Txjaybird]

I have always been a roamer......as a child into the fields, creeks, woods and railroad tracks.  I was 14yrs old the first time I left home, after 2wks in juvenile detention I went home, escaped again at 16yrs. went back when Papa died.  I think rambling runs in the females of my family for multiple generations.

When I announced a few years ago that as soon as my retirement funds increased I intended to down size into a truck and T.T. it was accepted as some of us have lived like that before so it was no big deal.

After I found this site and others and I started watching you tube videos about living mobile with out a R.V. I tried to tell family members about this life style...they weren't really interested..I think I even saw a few eyes glaze over.

When I announced that I was going to start selling stuff and getting down to what I need and looking at vans you would have thought I hadn't  said the part about " live in a van".   I know I did and more than once.  It seems that no one thinks I can do this because I have a lot of things that I really like. Also I deal with various health issues daily.  

Well I'm not getting younger, my health will not get better, and as my brother sez after all is said and done "I AM A GROWN ASS WOMAN"!  No one, friend, family or foe ever asks about these plans of mine...I think I threw them a curve ball when I told them I really like Gypsy Wagons....maybe they are relieved that I've come to my senses about Van Dwelling....if they only knew [or even cared]...I will just keeping doing what I need to do to make myself happy...it's not like I ask or even expect them to do the same...A little interest or support would be nice.

I am still the woman that in 2007 in the dead of winter in S.D. built side boards on my Ranger and my homemade Chevy Luv pickup bed trailer...sold every thing I could including my house......loaded what I wanted and drove away from the rest,  800 miles south to K.Y with the tranny leaking like a sieve from southern Mo on south and snow started again when I was at Tell City IN.

Lack of support from others will not sway me from what I think I need to do for myself.

I think that the bottom line is that only each of us knows what we truly need to be happy or to feel safe.  As for myself I usually get what I want once I set my mind to it........ If I change my mind I don't need to explain myself unless I want to.

Well that's my story and I'm sticking to it!       Texas Jbird

 

[SoulRaven]

My problem isn't family and friends since I can take someone or leave someone if they want to be in my way. My developing problem is that my son with Down syndrome, for whom I have given everything up to homeschool school and care for him as an adult, is looking at going into a residential program. They don't know that I don't plan to be here in town. His father who shares guardianship will be right here in town where the residential is located.

I had intended to take my son on this Great Adventure but he doesn't want to go. He had a choice. I want a choice too.

I suppose his father will get a lot of sympathy, the one who has never had to give up anything for our son. If my son changes his mind, he is welcome to come as that was always the plan.

So, I am faced with having this discussion in the next month with my son's team, people who don't know him and have never lifted a finger in his care. They will be the ones that will judge me.

After 30 years of caring for my son, giving up my career and never having a minute I could call my own, now, I am just feeling "all entitled", I guess. My turn.

 

[GotSmart]

Dont underestimate the empathy of caregivers.  Having been there, Believe me ~~~ understanding is there.  It will be good for your son to have his own "adventure" and chance of growth.

 

[akrvbob]

So, I am faced with having this discussion in the next month with my son's team, people who don't know him and have never lifted a finger in his care.  They will be the ones that will judge me.

After 30 years of caring for my son, giving up my career and never having a minute I could call my own, now, I am just feeling "all entitled", I guess.  My turn.

I 100% agree with you, it is your turn--take it!
Bob

 

[Almost There]

Dont underestimate the empathy of caregivers.  Having been there, Believe me ~~~ understanding is there.  It will be good for your son to have his own "adventure" and chance of growth.

+1

While I found family to be very NOT understanding, I found caregivers in general and specifically my Moms' caregivers to be totally sympathetic and encouraging.

As it turned out my mom had to go from 'independent' living to a nursing home situation and to everyones' amazement, including hers, she has thrived in it.

 

[Txjaybird]

For Snow Gypsy,

If your son is capable of making a decision of where he wants to live...it sounds like he has made it.  Of course there will be an adjustment period for both of you and that's to be expected after all this is a major lifestyle change for you both.  

 One thing I felt when I no longer needed to care for someone was relief, I hadn't realized that every daily decision I had made for years was based totally on another's  needs...then guilt for feeling relieved.

As for your "Dearly Departed Husband" {ex}....well fire fighters used to work 24 on and 48 off.......maybe you could tell him you've done your 30yrs so it's time for his 60ys to begin.     

After all, you said that if your son changes his mind you guys can work things out.  You are not leaving forever...just gone walk about.

If we do not take care of our wants and needs we will often do with out them as we cannot always { if ever } depend on others to provide for us.

These are just my thoughts on the matter.


                           Happy Travels      Jewellann