Should You Tell Your Family & Friends?

[Mortisha]

It is great to read everyone's situation... I am not alone at this. I am still new in the preparing stage of making this transition. I have only told my adult kids and of course I hear the same as always. How I am going to miss out on their lives and their kid's lives. I think my biggest issue is the guilt trips everyone hands out. I have always wanted to travel the world and they all know that but I don't think they really take me seriously. I am very close to my mom and have mentioned things but haven't even told her the whole story yet. She would rather pay my bills than see me doing anything like this. She just can't understand that I need this. Years ago, I was almost murdered by the father of my youngest and I know it has changed me but it never changed the needing of seeing the world and my photography. I know everyone will worry and that guilt kills me sometimes when I think about it. As for my dad, I am not telling him until the last second. He will not see this as I do as freedom, he will see this as a homeless bum on the streets. My family doesn't understand that living in a van with no worries of financial BS is something that I really need. I can't live in this big house without worrying every month. That stress is killing me. I hope I do have the strength to tell them all when the time comes. Right now I am just letting them think I am crazy making plans and obsessively clearing things out LOL. Thanks so much for this post. It really did help me reading everyone's dilemmas and knowing I am not the only one. HuggZ

 

[Gump]

Meh. Two years ago, I had some issues with PTSD and tried to off myself. The army wasn't too happy about that, and I got tired of trying to justify myself to all the hyper patriotic people that used to make up my life. I paid for college by becoming a murderer for the government, and no one could understand that I wasn't proud of my service.

I pretty much cut everyone out of my life back then, and I've mostly kept to myself since then. I see no reason to tell anyone what's going on in my life now. I just make stuff up when they ask. In the last week though, my brother and my mom both asked for a place to stay as they were passing through the city that I told them I live in. I'm getting tired of making up excuses, and I wish they'd just leave me alone.

Someday I'd like a new network of family and friends, but I don't know how to make that happen. I don't know where to find people that will understand and accept me for who I am.

 

[Johnnomads]

&nbsp;I think we do already have a network, a family or a community of sorts here, i've always held the idea, that if my blood family was a bunch of weirdos, who scream and bitch, but bring negitive things on themselves cuz they can't or won't make decisions, then i would seek out a new family.<br />&nbsp;Btw, coming out (if we like that term) to friends and family, is almost the same dynamic as being poly or gay, aren't lifestyle choices fun?<br />Hugs

 

[Johnnomads]

<strong>Hi Gump,<br />&nbsp; Since my dad passed, my blood family has been getting weirder and weirder, every time i go to a family function, they phish for info. The other day, one of my brothers asked if he could stay at my house, so i gave him the address of a Motel 6, and told him i'd leave the light on for him. <br />Hugs<br />&gt;<br /></strong>Gump wrote:<br />... I just make stuff up when they ask. In the last week though, my brother and my mom both asked for a place to stay as they were passing through the city that I told them I live in. I'm getting tired of making up excuses, and I wish they'd just leave me alone...

 

[Pikachu711]

I'm be&nbsp;telling the majority of my friends &amp; family when I buy my&nbsp;van. So far I've told a few close friends &amp; one family member. They are supportive of my decision to "hit the road." Hopefully&nbsp;they'll&nbsp;understand my decision to become a van dweller.<br /><br />I've already told my younger brother and he's supportive.&nbsp;He's willing to help me in anyway he can when I tell my 79 year old Mom next year. She's very traditional in her thinking about how people should live their lives. This will be something that will be a challenge to her way of thinking. Long story short, if she understand that would&nbsp;be great! If not, I'm doing it anyway.<br /><br />I've told some of my friends. The ones that know me best are&nbsp;supportive. One of my friends will be doing the same thing as well. He's currently looking for a travel trailer to move to southern California in the near future.<br /><br />I hope that the majority of&nbsp;my friends &amp; family&nbsp;understand my decision. If not, TOO BAD! I'm doing it anyway. They'll either understand or they won't. I'm not going to live my life by anyone's antiquated ideas of what "normal" is anymore. I have to do what I think is best for&nbsp;me. Anything less then that I'm not being true to myself.<br /><br />Now I'll let you get back to your life whatever you were doing before you read my message.<br /><br />Enjoy!

 

[wildmountainhoney]

Ha! They thought I was crazy when I disconnected my cable a couple years ago...

 

[Pikachu711]

Ha! They thought I was crazy when I disconnected my cable a couple years ago...

<br /><br />I've already started to make the change. Like you, I've had my cable disconnected as well. I don't need that expense. It took some adjustment but I did get used to having no cable.<br /><br />Enjoy,

 

[wildmountainhoney]

I think the people around me missed it more than I did! Silly people! Keep going forward, huh! <img src="/images/boards/smilies/smile.gif" border="0" align="absmiddle">

 

[offroad]

I think the people around me missed it more than I did! Silly people! Keep going forward, huh! <img src="/images/boards/smilies/smile.gif" alt="" align="absmiddle" border="0" />

<br /><br />Anyone living in a van RV is challenging fundamental beliefs that you have to own property to be happy and successful.&nbsp; especially the most rich in our society.&nbsp; If you can be very very happy on $12000 a year, and have complete mobility for vacations, and living in awesome natural areas; people hate that.<br /><br />After all, a job requires you work 50 years (17 to 67) before you enjoy a retirement.&nbsp; That my friends sounds like economic slavery.&nbsp; If you can get out by age 30 via saving $300k and living off it well, what does that say about all the others out there in the cold cruel world?<br /><br />

 

[wildmountainhoney]

I agree w/you Offroad!&nbsp; Everything I started to reply sounded like paranoia. LOL! Maybe lack of sleep. But I agree.

 

[joey]

I told my parents about doing this and I was surprised when they told me they were wanting to live this kind of lifestyle too.My dad told me if I could find an RV they liked he would buy it.I found one on CL and the next day he went and bought it.They have put their house up for sale and are getting ready to take off somewhere.I hope to be out of here in Nov., and I will be heading to the RTR.

 

[danny819]

I havn't told many ppl I want to full time but a bunch of people know I part time, take a week or two when I get a chance and they think its cool. When I told my best friend last week that I am serious about liquidating my possesions and getting rid of a $1000 / month rent payment his exact words were " Thats awesome, I can see you happy as a pig in $hit, living in a van and working 16 hrs a day" when I told him the purpose was to work as minimal as I possibly can he said " you work part time, that's absurd" !!&nbsp; I have always been a workaholic and I thought it was amusing that someone who knows me very well thought nothing at all about me wanting to move into my van but not working 70 hrs a week&nbsp;was just plain crazy ha ha.

 

[Where~the~wind~blows]

My family doesn't tell me to my face how they feel, but their actions say it loud and clear, yesterday within 3 minutes of a phone conversation with a family member, I was again asked about moving back in with my Dad, and the truth is having somebody looking after him COMFORTS them, NOT ME!&nbsp;<br /><br />I said they should move in with him since they are having trouble with their&nbsp;mortgage&nbsp;payments and keeping steady work! Of course then the subject changed again, and I know the minute my Dad passes, I would be kicked to the curb, same as when my mom died. I will never put myself in that position again! NEVER. (sorry still upset over yesterdays conversation)<br /><br />My lifestyle is only an inconvenced&nbsp;for them when it&nbsp;interferes&nbsp;with what they want. Since i am the one without children, it just always easier for me to do it....blah blah blah

 

[josephusminimus]

I've told friends I figured might be interested.&nbsp; Most figure I'm crazy, but they figured that before I made this decision, and they know it's just me again.<br /><br />I quit telling my family anything about my life when I approached an age someone might decide there'd be an advantage to them if I were in an institution sometime and they might have the power to put me there if they put some effort to it.&nbsp; Left them all in the dust of the grader ditch behind me to tend their own affairs and stay out of mine.

 

[Pikachu711]

I'll gotten to the point where I will tell people about my new planned life to become a van dweller. I almost don't really care anymore what their opinion is about the subject. They'll either accept it or they will not accept it. As far as I'm concerned, it doesn't affect my decision one way or another.<br /><br />I've received comments from positive to negative. The positive comments are always welcome! Once they understand my reasoning for making this choice they understand. The people who equate living in a vehicle as being "homeless" no matter how much explain my reasons will never understand. That's their loss!<br /><br />To be brief, it's my life &amp; I'll live it on my terms. If you don't like my decision, too bad. If you understand my reasoning, great!

 

[joey]

I saw a friend today that I haven't seen for about six months. She asked me how things were going and I told her I was gonna buy a van and travel.She got really excited and told me she was doing the same thing.I was really surprised but happy for her too.

 

[ParadiseParrot]

<p>When my mother sold her condo to go on her big RV adventure I was all for it.<br />I thought it was exciting and she would have great fun.<br /><br />The rest of the family was not happy about it. <br />But after some time I found that the reasons they were against it was selfish desires on there part.<br />My brother wanted free baby sitting and was used to having her close for numerous "loans" that were<br />needed to fund my sister in laws shopping addition.&nbsp;Others had similar agendas either from selfishness or because the unknown scares them.<br />More than a million retired people live "fulltime" on the road. Millions more for livestyle or economic reasons.<br /><br />Tell your friends and family if you want but don't count on support. Maybe you will get some...Maybe not.<br />But one thing is certain. You will have some stories to tell from your experience.</p>

 

[freenez2]

It's been a mixed bag... My Daughters had safety concerns, but have since been allayed after explaining how little there really is to fear. One sibling thinks I'm a lazy bum and the other some what envies me. Extended Family thinks I'm a nut case and all the rest have chalked it up to "Being Mike". How do I feel about their concerns and opinions? I don't. This is what I've chosen to do and it suits me.

 

[Van Tripper]

Told them, those that know me are cool with it, those that aren't cool about it, don't know me.

 

[Guest]

I lived in a van for a short time over a dozen years ago. &nbsp;My avatar pic is from that time. &nbsp;I only bought a house and got 'responsible' in order to see my daughter grow up, but with her finishing college in the spring I am finally setting forth again. &nbsp;My family thought I had outgrown the desire to be mobile after so many years in a house and they are a bit skeptical about my decision, but I have decided to go and that is final.<br><br>Those who truly know me have seen this coming for a long time. Some have already preceded me. &nbsp;I can't wait to link up with old friends and meet some new ones on the road.