regretting my decision?

[caseyc]

Friends, I thought I'd share my feelings here. I'm not exactly sure why, but lately I've been feeling a little down. I'm starting to have second thoughts about my actions of quitting my stable job and leaving my rent controlled apartment. After doing this full time for 2-2/2 years, I'm beginning to feel uneasy about my future. The problem is that I cannot afford current high rent prices. Even finding a full time stable job with benefits isn't easy nowadays. I'm having feelings of contradictions with questions but no answers. I'm currently looking for a stable job and hope that will be the first step towards a better future. Anyway, this is what's going on with me currently. Thought I'd share this with my fellow forum members since nobody else outside would understand.

 

[mockturtle]

Casey, what are you living in now?  Would you be able to live in an RV park [for low monthly rent] while you work?  How old are you?  What kind of work are you looking for?  I care. 

 

[Every Road Leads Home]

Hi,

Sorry to hear you are going through a rough patch. I've read through some of your older posts and have followed along your journey. Are you no longer driving for Uber? Do you think breaking up with your girlfriend might be the source of some of these feelings? No matter what happens, even if you give up the van lifestyle I don't think you should ever regret it. Honestly, not many people get to do this for over 2 years so you got a real taste of what this life is all about. Had you stayed where you were over two years ago you'd now be wondering why you didn't try the van lifestyle out and wondering what may have happened if you did. If the breakup is the source of all this confusion i'd give it more time. Breakups are hard no matter where you live and best not to make any sudden decisions when you're dealing with grief. Maybe a trip out of town is what you need, change of scenery and a fresh perspective never hurts anyone.

 

[wagoneer]

HEY IF YOU WANNA MEET UP let me know, same place different time

 

[BradKW]

Sounds to me like you've got a pretty solid perspective on things. How does what you're experiencing now break down and fit with who and where you want to be in the future?

 

[caseyc]

I'm not sure why I'm feeling this way. I'm almost at a point of scolding myself for my past decisions. I'm 50 with little savings, working a temp job making $15 hourly with no benefits. I quit my stable job with benefits to do ride sharing which later turned out to be not worthwhile. The one major accomplishment I can say I've made is I've kicked my lifelong bad spending addiction plus got out of debt by not paying rent. Yes, my recent breakup may have something to do with the way I currently feel. The initial sting of the breakup is past but maybe I have lingering feelings over it. I'm just feeling generally down at this time. Heck, I've even been going to church recently and watching Joel Ohsteen youtube videos to cheer me up. I haven't been to church in 30 years. I've been trying to kick this bad habit of self condemnation lately. I need to forgive myself and try to move forward no matter whether my past decisions were right or wrong.

 

[wagoneer]

You are a great guy just gonna take some time to realize that

 

[ArtW]

Breakups can really mess with your head
After my marriage dissolved, and i had gotten past that, I tried dating briefly, and that was bad for my self respect

Once I decided to go my own way, I quit caring how others might see me, and discovered I'm a pretty awesome guy

 

[Park Kitchings]

A quote from the Dalai Lama -

Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions. 

Hang in there.  Remember, good times or bad times, each will eventually pass.

 

[caseyc]

Hi Adrian,

Thanks for your kind words buddy. I tried to PM you back but could not cuz your mailbox is full so you need to delete messages.

Casey

 

[cherterr]

I'm just feeling generally down at this time. Heck, I've even been going to church recently and watching Joel Ohsteen youtube videos to cheer me up. I haven't been to church in 30 years. I've been trying to kick this bad habit of self condemnation lately. I need to forgive myself and try to move forward no matter whether my past decisions were right or wrong.

Watch out!!  (JO is pretty positive)  Be careful the 'church' you're attending is positive too!  As an (ex?) independent, fundamental, Baptist church goer... I can tell you there is NO BETTER PLACE to become 'not good enough'!!

Don't be too concerned.  I'm pretty much positive all the time - when I DO get down in the mouth a little.. it's.. just... Weird.
Hopefully, like me, you'll get over it soon (generally something happens in my life or I come up w/another 'project') and you'll wonder why you ever felt all down!

This too shall pass.    Heck.. go out on the town, find another lady friend to pass some time.. Just sayin'.  (Yes, I now humans aren't like dogs.. when one dies go get another.. but .. yeah.. mostly we ARE!! roflmao!

 

[LadyJo]

In my 62 yrs one of the things I have learned is - You only regret the things you did not do.
You have done a great deal, taken an adventure and will have more adventures to come.

If you feel like you have fallen down, it's ok. Everyone falls down, it's the getting up that matters.