Temporarydweller
Active member
- Joined
- Nov 11, 2015
- Messages
- 28
- Reaction score
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Hello all. I'm up against the hardest decision of my life and I'm scared I'm not going to find the happiness I'm looking for. I just turned 39 last month. I live in Missouri and have lived here my entire life. I'm in good physical shape and love mountain biking, snowboarding, hiking, exploring back roads on my dual sport motorcycle, and building things.
I divorced 2 years ago and was back into another committed relationship within 7 months of my divorce. I fell quickly in love and was so excited for the future. Looking back I do believe most of my feelings initially for my current girlfriend had a lot to do with my 12 year marriage ending in abrupt devastation. Even though it started several months after my wife left, I do believe it was more of a rebound relationship. My rational side says she is perfect for me, she loves me to pieces and would do anything for my happiness. I'm attracted to her physically and our sex life is better than I ever experienced with my ex. She has 2 kids, a 15 year old girl and an 8 year old boy. I do love and care a great deal for her and want what's best for her and her kids. I get along great with her daughter, but to say I'm not overly fond of the 8 year old boy would be an understatement. She tries hard as a mom to correct his wrong doings and her morals and mine line up in the way a child should be raised, he's just extra difficult and has too much exposure to and too many bad influences from her ex's side of the family. Unfortunately that can't be changed due to the divorce custody agreement. I am not excited at all thinking about the future of helping to raise him.
I have an 84 year old father that even though he's still living on his own, my sister and I can definitely tell he is slowing down quickly and I honestly don't think he has very many years left. My sister lives right across the street from him and is a stay at home mom. Even though she keeps very busy with her kids and her church stuff, she is usually quickly available for his needs and can check in on him daily. My brother in-law is a great guy and helps with his yard work and anything else he physically can't do. I see my dad at least once a week and talk to him on the phone daily.
I have a great job that I don't hate. I make decent money and don't have many financial problems. I'm not wealthy though, I just have learned how to budget my money and don't rely on credit cards. I live in a rental house with my girlfriend and am closing on the house I own next week which will free up close to another $1000 a month. I have a good trade skill that I can go anywhere in the country and shouldn't have too much trouble finding work.
My vehicles and toys are paid for and once this house sells I will have no financial or legal ties to Missouri any more. I have about 5 grand in savings and can live for several months on that in my van if I do have trouble finding work.
I have thought on and off for the better part of a year about relocating to Flagstaff to try to find happiness and to be more content with the direction of my life and be excited about the future. I love the idea of living in the mountains because of the hobbies I enjoy. I've fought hard to find happiness here and stop thinking about moving. But I keep on planning, researching, and secretly buying things for my van to live more comfortably. I keep getting signs that I should go. Even though I know he will be sad and will miss me, my father is even telling me he thinks I should go. He just wants me to be happy. And now the gathering of the "tribe" literally lines up perfectly with the closing of my house next week on the 15th.
I've given my notice to my employer that I'm leaving and my last day is next Thursday the 16th. I've talked to the girlfriend within the last month about all this but she is more under the impression that even though I'm considering moving that I'm trying hard to be content staying here. She doesn't know I've given notice to my job. She will be a bit blindsided but not totally. I hate the thought of hurting her because she is such a good caring person. She has a strong family support system near by and I know she will be fine eventually.
Now that it's down to the wire and everything is in place, I'm ABSOLUTELY scared to death I'm going to regret this decision. I read everywhere to trust your gut and your instinct. At this point I can't tell if my inner voice is stronger telling me to go or to stay put.
I divorced 2 years ago and was back into another committed relationship within 7 months of my divorce. I fell quickly in love and was so excited for the future. Looking back I do believe most of my feelings initially for my current girlfriend had a lot to do with my 12 year marriage ending in abrupt devastation. Even though it started several months after my wife left, I do believe it was more of a rebound relationship. My rational side says she is perfect for me, she loves me to pieces and would do anything for my happiness. I'm attracted to her physically and our sex life is better than I ever experienced with my ex. She has 2 kids, a 15 year old girl and an 8 year old boy. I do love and care a great deal for her and want what's best for her and her kids. I get along great with her daughter, but to say I'm not overly fond of the 8 year old boy would be an understatement. She tries hard as a mom to correct his wrong doings and her morals and mine line up in the way a child should be raised, he's just extra difficult and has too much exposure to and too many bad influences from her ex's side of the family. Unfortunately that can't be changed due to the divorce custody agreement. I am not excited at all thinking about the future of helping to raise him.
I have an 84 year old father that even though he's still living on his own, my sister and I can definitely tell he is slowing down quickly and I honestly don't think he has very many years left. My sister lives right across the street from him and is a stay at home mom. Even though she keeps very busy with her kids and her church stuff, she is usually quickly available for his needs and can check in on him daily. My brother in-law is a great guy and helps with his yard work and anything else he physically can't do. I see my dad at least once a week and talk to him on the phone daily.
I have a great job that I don't hate. I make decent money and don't have many financial problems. I'm not wealthy though, I just have learned how to budget my money and don't rely on credit cards. I live in a rental house with my girlfriend and am closing on the house I own next week which will free up close to another $1000 a month. I have a good trade skill that I can go anywhere in the country and shouldn't have too much trouble finding work.
My vehicles and toys are paid for and once this house sells I will have no financial or legal ties to Missouri any more. I have about 5 grand in savings and can live for several months on that in my van if I do have trouble finding work.
I have thought on and off for the better part of a year about relocating to Flagstaff to try to find happiness and to be more content with the direction of my life and be excited about the future. I love the idea of living in the mountains because of the hobbies I enjoy. I've fought hard to find happiness here and stop thinking about moving. But I keep on planning, researching, and secretly buying things for my van to live more comfortably. I keep getting signs that I should go. Even though I know he will be sad and will miss me, my father is even telling me he thinks I should go. He just wants me to be happy. And now the gathering of the "tribe" literally lines up perfectly with the closing of my house next week on the 15th.
I've given my notice to my employer that I'm leaving and my last day is next Thursday the 16th. I've talked to the girlfriend within the last month about all this but she is more under the impression that even though I'm considering moving that I'm trying hard to be content staying here. She doesn't know I've given notice to my job. She will be a bit blindsided but not totally. I hate the thought of hurting her because she is such a good caring person. She has a strong family support system near by and I know she will be fine eventually.
Now that it's down to the wire and everything is in place, I'm ABSOLUTELY scared to death I'm going to regret this decision. I read everywhere to trust your gut and your instinct. At this point I can't tell if my inner voice is stronger telling me to go or to stay put.
