New and Currently Planning My Future (Life Plan B)

[Day Dreamer]

Hello Everyone,

Just found this forum a few days ago and have read quite a bit. I recently started researching "the lifestyle". I always assumed it would be more expensive than traditional living. This is comforting to me as a life "Plan B". My spouse and I are separated but living together for now after 21 years of marriage. We are past the fighting stage. Romance is over but we get along OK now that new dynamics have been set. We even go out as friends about once a week. I doubt that friendliness will continue when it's time for the big D though so I am preparing. It will be probably a year or so until we get to that point, maybe two. Sorry to get so personal right off but it's what's happening now and makes it easier for you guys to answer the many questions I have in coming up. Our son leaves for college this summer so things will change more I'm sure once he's gone. 

My spouse is a workaholic and the bread winner of the family. I did 70% of the parent duties for the last 11 years and sacrificed building a career. I am self employed though. I used to make a decent income from home while doing m parenting stuff (about $60k but still WAY less than my spouse). My industry has changed very fast much like many industries today and my income dropped to about 25% of that the last 2 years. I've been pretty much done with my parenting role since our son was 17 since he is very independent and leads a clean, drug and alcohol free lifestyle. I'll take credit for that, thank you very much (even though I don't live that way LOL). I have about $20K of passive income from an automated online business which is great but that could go away in an instant as volatile as it is (it's been going for about 10 years now though). I'm pretty sure I could get alimony in our state. No idea how much. I can do a bit of remote work on the road as well but that isn't constant so would be a bonus. I don't know if my spouse has a nest egg other than retirement since I'm not privy to my those accounts. 

Right now I'm working as a bartender as well to try to stash as much $$ as possible on the side while still contributing to the household fund. 

We have about $100K equity to split from our house but I'm afraid much of that will be eaten up by lawyer fees. Especially once it goes into fight mode which I expect as I was told it will be a battle.

I will have to help pay for my son's college so I do have that expense. I don't want to wait 4 years though if we split next year. I might be able ti get my spouse pay in the divorce but I would / do feel guilty not helping him with that. 

Reading has me confident I can make it work financially. My biggest fear is loneliness. I'm a very social person and need relationships (partly my insecurities I know). But to be honest I am often very lonely now with people all around me. Everybody seems to busy or too interested in just themselves to be bothered these days. Heck, having a conversation is even hard when people have their faces in their phones constantly. 


The physical aspect I can handle. I do have occasional back issues and some other aches and pains but nothing like some of the stories I have read here. I'm an experienced camper and backpacker. We had a 32 ft travel trailer for about 12 years but we didn't tow (it was on a seasonal site). I backpacked in my 20s (I'm mid 50s now). I'm pretty experienced with cold weather as well as I have been an avid skier since age 13 (ski instructor for 10 years). I used to ski in Vermont a lot and sleep in my Ford Bronco. I parked in hotel parking lots. I will cover my current build platform and plans later. 

I have dreamed of full time travel for many years in various forms including "traditional" RVing, thru hiking the AT and minimalist travel/living with just a backpack. 

I have a lot more to share about my preparation and many questions but I will save that for different threads/posts. 

Is there a budget spreadsheet template somebody can share?

Sorry this is so long and rambling on but I feel like I need to catch up LOL. 

Thanks!!

 

[Wabbit]

Hi Day Dreamer and welcome. Sorry to hear about rough ride. Hope everything goes as smoothly as possible and you get to doin' you.

 

[rvwandering]

Welcome to the CRVL forums Day Dreamer! Having a year or two to save and plan is a real advantage. Your RV and camping experience will be a big help too. Sharing a budget template is difficult because fulltime budgets vary so much. To get an idea of your costs write down all of your expenses that won't change very much - food, health and vehicle insurance, phone, etc. Gas often is a big expense but you can manage it by cutting down on long-distance travel. Camping can be free or really expensive so that's another expense that you can control. Don't forget to budget for an emergency fund and a vehicle maintenance fund. Added expenses that you may not have in your house include health clubs for showers or dump station fees if you have an RV.

To help you learn the ins and outs of these forums, this "Tips, Tricks and Rules" post lists some helpful information to get you started. We look forward to hearing more from you.

 

[Day Dreamer]

Welcome to the CRVL forums!  To help you learn the ins and outs of these forums, this "Tips, Tricks and Rules" post lists some helpful information to get you started.   We look forward to hearing more from you.

Thank you I did check that out. Did I break a rule?

 

[B and C]

Welcome. No rule broken, just a stock welcome pointing you to a good area before you dive in too deep. Again, welcome.

 

[wanderin.pat]

As someone who has been a member here for a bit, you MIGHT want to consider really highlighting your actual question. I was prepared to start giving advice on several points before I got to your "budget spreadsheet" question. I expect many people will be giving you advice about many of the other things you said. I'm biting my "tongue" as I type. I wish you the best.

Pat

ps..."Everybody needs a Plan B" has been my signature for a while now. I totally agree!

 

[CosmickGold]

. . . . We are past the fighting stage. Romance is over but we get along OK . . . . We even go out as friends about once a week. I doubt that friendliness will continue when it's time for the big D though so I am preparing . . . . that will be eaten up by lawyer fees. Especially once it goes into fight mode which I expect as I was told it will be a battle.

I think it's great that you claimed your spot in this forum by telling us your current family status and plans. It's so interesting. And I'm similar to you, although I'm the male in our picture. Like you, the romance has been gone for years and yet we still live together as close friends who still deeply respect and care about each other, each wanting to make life easy for each other.

We used to fight -- and with so much anger in raised voices -- but no more. She thought I was silly to do it, but I ended the strife by signing a legal paper that makes everything sticks'n'bricks hers, period; while my home is now the 1998 Chevy Express 3500 high-top van I built out myself, parked outside her window. It's amazing how calming it has been for me to be separated from all the stick'n'bricks insanity. I feel so secure and content having my own little home which is all mine, and which I can take down the road any time I want to, as far as I want to take it.

Wouldn't something like that work for you too? I really don't grasp why you are planning to pay huge lawyer fees in order to have legal court battles against each other. Why? You're friends who still go out together to enjoy things in life together, like us. That being the case, how could he not be reasonable enough to help you get your own life set up with all you need -- financially and otherwise -- allowing you to go your own happy way, the same as we are doing? What do you need and deserve that he is not being reasonable enough to give? How could he be helped to "see the light"? Sounds like the two of you need good honest counselors rather than money-hungry lawyers.

 

[WanderingRose]

I agree with what CG just said.

As for budgeting, one can really spend as much or as little as one chooses, there are that many variances to full or part time travel/living.

Depends on what you want and need, which is very much about individual preferences and budget.

And, you can find many ways to be social, or not, as you choose.

Having the best and most reliable vehicle you can afford is a good start, then a good savings account that you have the means to replenish.

Sounds like you are financially better off, right out of the gate, than many, so that will be a good place to start from.

Good luck.

 

[mattvei]

speak with a good family law attorney. you'd be surprised at what can be uncovered in a divorce proceeding. you may even be entitled to alimony if there was no prenup. just make sure to get one that will work for a fully disclosed settlement rather than sucking you dry for eternal attorney fees.

 

[Malamute]

You guys realize this was started over 2 1/2 years ago, right?

 

[WanderingRose]

Ummm, no, I didn’t.

Thanks for the reminder to look at the thread start date.

That said, the info in recent posts may still provide some helpful tips, right?

 

[TooFarGone]

You guys realize this was started over 2 1/2 years ago, right?

I noticed that too. If you check the OP's profile, they were last "seen here" - I think that means they signed in - in April 2020 and their most recent post was in January 2020.

Ummm, no, I didn’t.

Thanks for the reminder to look at the thread start date.

That said, the info in recent posts may still provide some helpful tips, right?

I agree. The information supplied in the forum posts is helpful to people even if the OP never sees it, or doesn't need that specific advice any longer. I haven't started many topics here because I can usually glean what I need from existing conversations on a subject.

 

[CosmickGold]

You guys realize this was started over 2 1/2 years ago, right?

Yeah! Very good point. And I'm the one who started this by responding directly to the first -- and very old -- message. Silly me. Obviously, all the advice I gave is long-past useful; she's done whatever she was going to do by now.

I assumed that because her message popped up on my screen, it had to be new. I didn't bother to look at the date until after I sent my long and well-thought-out answer back to her. *duh*

That has taught me to always look for the date before I start typing. (But I still don't know why her message popped up on my screen in the first place.)

 

[CosmickGold]

I agree. The information supplied in the forum posts is helpful to people even if the OP never sees it, or doesn't need that specific advice any longer.

That said, the info in recent posts may still provide some helpful tips, right?

Thanks guys, you have made me feel better about my *duh* foolishness.