Mental Health Issues

[owl]

   Diane, Only you know the pressure you feel but you did a good job of describing it. Have you had reactions like this before? If so, how did you handle it then? Were you able to move on? Answer to yourself these questions and my hope is you will find a satisfactory way to handle the obvious stress that has recently come into your life. If you don't find the answer there, find someone with experience and training to help you with it. You have friends here, but we probably aren't going to be able to help the way I think you need. There is professional help available at no cost. Seek it out, for your sake and that of the child. Asking for help is the responsible thing to do and you have done that here. People often go through the kind of thing you are experiencing, how they handle it makes all the difference in the world. Please, find someone to talk to. Perhaps a pastor. Look for a women's center. Call a women's abuse facility for referral to a counselor. You are not alone and everyone here will be pulling for you.

 

[oldsoul]

It does happen. Its all the built up feelings of rage and worry and a hundred others. I once took a snow shovel to the side of my garage and cracked off all the siding. You need to find an outlet for these feelings. Bottling them up so as not to upset anyone, does way more harm then good.We all lose control sometimes, just have to keep going and try to learn from it. I wish you much peace on your journey.

 

[dragonflyinthesky]

Vicki and Rae, thank you, kind words mean everything.<BR><BR>Owl, no, I'm 59 years old and put up with years of differing abuses from the ex and verbal from my father. I have never ever done anything like this before.In times of pain, if I allowed people to hurt me, I just&nbsp;withdraw to an imaginary world and shut down.&nbsp;Most things roll of me like water though. I am still crying off and on today but I have physical control again.<BR><BR>Yes, I am (going to)&nbsp;seeking help, I didn't think of a woman's center. I have no ins.<BR><BR>Oldsoul, thanks for sharing, I often looked at people who lost total control and thought what the hell, get it together. I guess&nbsp;many of us&nbsp;can be pushed&nbsp;to the limit, and now I know I have a breaking point.

 

[bk2valve]

Hi Diane,<br><br>

<span id="post_message_1276478739"><br>Oldsoul, thanks for sharing, I often looked at people who lost total control and thought what the hell, get it together. I guess&nbsp;many of us&nbsp;can be pushed&nbsp;to the limit, and now I know I have a breaking point.</span>

<br><br>Everyone has a breaking point, no doubt about that at all...if they haven't been there, they just haven't found it yet...hoefully they never do.<br><br id="tinymce" class="mceContentBody ">My best for your journey through life and help is ALWAYS good...however that comes to you.<br><br>Peace,<br>Bri

 

[WanderingRain]

Hello Diane,<br><br>Sorry to hear what happened to you.&nbsp;<br>I wish I was nearby so I can fix you up a cup of hot cocoa.<br>It is good that you say things roll off you now like water off a duck. It's a good attitude to have in times of great stress. Always remember that we let people have power over us when we allow them to bother us internally. When their words mean nothing and are just the ravings of a lunatic, then we can laugh and shrug them off.&nbsp;<br>Peace be with you tonight and all the rest of this week.<br>You seem like a kind soul. Keep your friends nearby close.<br>The little one depends on you now for safety and normalcy.<br><br>Good night and keep warm.<br><br>--Rod

 

[wandering mike]

Diane, good luck. I don't know what else to say. I am not sure your issue is the same as the OP, but it is something that at the end of the day, IMHO, you have to just say OK, let's move on.<br><br>For the OP and the others, I have found that (i) St. John's Wort tablets; (ii) Fish Oil tablets/gels; and (iii) lots of sunshine and exercise, will help the depressive blues I have found myself encountering from time to time. &nbsp;Today for example, I walked 2.5 miles in the Phoenix sun (but it was a chilly 50 degrees) did wonders for my mindset. &nbsp;Plug in some soft jazz and it did a bit more. &nbsp;I am not saying it works for all, but just in my case, based on my own experience, the three items referenced do help me out.<br><br>(and I dearly love both the Arlo Guthrie song and movie about Alice's Restaurant. &nbsp;I remember seeing it in 1969 or 1970 at a drive-in movie combined with Woodstock or Easy Rider; I can't remember which given the psychedelic pills available then.)<br><br>Not sure of how or what the relevance is, but I had a 17 on the Aspergers test linked somewhere in the thread. &nbsp;I have no clue if it is good or bad or if there even is such a thing as good or bad under current societal standards, whatever they may be.<br><br>

 

[dragonflyinthesky]

<P>Just the posts of support have helped me so much, but I knew when I layed all this out in desparation a few nights ago, you all would help me.<BR><BR>This family problem has gone on for years. The custody hearings, setting my house up for a home study to pass, coming up with money to built a wall upstairs for another room, traveling to and from Boston, nearly 1800 mile round trip, my rental was trashed and the renters took the copper pipe and air conditioner. All of this happened since the end of November.<BR><BR>I do feel resentful to my father and especially my sister, who regularly calls the police on me even though we have no contact and visitation is at children's services. No it isn't fair that she can't take care of her own child and at the time in my life I was ready to go my own way, this comes up quickly and I'm blamed for it. Had I not stepped in when sis was awol and we couldn't find her to enroll L. in middle school, sis may have been brought up on neglect charges. I tried to get sis to sign papers temp. to me when she was found so I could take L until sis could get her life together but that was met by, let me just say a real bad attitude.<BR><BR>Bottom line is, and I have to remember this, there are lots of caretakers of spouses, grandkids and so forth. I'm not the only one nor unique. I do have a bad case of selfish why me feelings. I will have to get over it and adjust to having a kid again for the next several years. <BR><BR></P>

 

[peacetara]

I'm sure you will give L the best home you can, and really isn't that what life is all about, helping children succeed, so that the world can be a better place!?<br><br>Sending you lots of love and support!<br><br>With Love,<br>Tara

 

[WanderingRain]

You can do it. <img src="/images/boards/smilies/smile.gif" border="0" align="absmiddle"> At the end of this trial, you will look back and see how much more you've grown spiritually.<br>One step at a time will get you and L there.<br>Stay strong. <img src="/images/boards/smilies/smile.gif" border="0" align="absmiddle">

 

[papas34]

<span id="post_message_1276489113">Diane,<br><br>Thoughts and prayer ( can I say that?) are with you and L.<br><br>Yes we all have been there and at that time it fells like we will never get past it, but we do.<br><br>My wife and I spent years in the middle of a similar situation, a granddaughter living with a mother who was in and out of jail, drugs, strangers in her house and more....her olny need for her daughter was child support. We had our granddaughter with us everytime the mom wanted to party, work, school etc.<br><br>After years we were finally able to get legal rights to enroll our granddaughter in school while the mom was in jail......then for about 6 years we had her as a full time "guest"<br><br>The mom continued to collect child support......it all worked out and even if nobody seems to thank us, we know our granddaught's life has been better than it would have been, she finished high school, danced in the school's dance team, stayed off drugs(as far as we know) and has gone on to maintain a 3 years relationship with the same guy and soon will become a mother herself.<br><br>In the end, we are glad we fought the fight and had many good times as a result of the efforts.....believe me there were days I just wanted to run away from it all, kick down the walls too.<br><br><br><br><br></span>

 

[Guest]

*sister*<br><br>very warm hugs to you. after all you've gone thru, i'd be surprised if there wasn't a meltdown.<br><br>i read this site just about every day. i don't often post because i don't think i have much to add, as i am still in the dreaming stage. but reading what you all write, i think i've gotten to know you all a little, and i think of some of you as the salt of the earth.<br><br>well said Dragonfly. so very true..

 

[dragonflyinthesky]

Aung Meg, I to am thankful for being able to dream. This site of Bob's is usually a safe place for most people. Maybe a lot of us have landed here and stayed because we share a need for freedom. Many people have been caretakers or had so many responsibilities over the years that we are seeking a way out for our health and sanity.<BR>I know nothing about your situation of three years but you must cope in a way thats good for you. I'm not one to be giving advice, I will say lets make a pact to keep putting one foot in front of the other and go in a direction to get us out of our own little hells and into the respect and happiness we deserve.<BR><BR>I have received so much good advice and simple virtual hugs and pats on the back here. Thanks to all of you. I have recieved letters from others who have gone thru what I'm going thru, some were much worse than mine, it helps so much to know that they came out stronger or at least came out of thier own situations.