Locked in loneliness

[Fox]

When you decide to take this route, do any of you feel like you're consigning yourselves to some strange path as a social pariah?

I also belong to frugal communities elsewhere, but even in those communities, they are still willing to pay rent and mortgage, albeit more wisely than most. They don't go so far as to attempt to live out of a vehicle to at least save money, much less have it become a way of life.

So, when I decided to take this route for myself, I can't help but feel like that I am truly alone now. I feel like very few people truly understand this decision I am making, and I am basically... locking in my loneliness that comes with it for the rest of my life.

Maybe I am just feeling melodramatic, but do any of you feel the same way about this?

 

[WheelEstate USA]

We had some difficulty with Margie's family when we moved into to RV fulltime. They finally came to understand when we went to visit and they saw how happy we were.
I imagine we'll go thru another bout with them when they get the news that we've moved into a van. We really don't care what they think as long as we're happy doing what we like.

As far as other people go...we have hardly ever met someone who didn't "dig" what we're doing. We tell them about the pros and cons in an honest fashion and most can see our joy and they're ready to jump on the bandwagon, at least with verbal support.

Hope you find the same warm feelings from those you meet in your travels.

 

[sl1966]

We're all with you in this, and yet you're alone, so so very alone. Kidding.

I didn't feel that. Then again I haven't quite officially started. What I have done is taken many smaller excursions out. I've had a few obligations that ran longer than expected otherwise I'd have officially started last year in October. The brief trips out served as a nice shakedown trips helping me work out/realize a few things.

You are being a touch melodramatic, but it's with good reason. This kind of lifestyle is new to you and it can feel isolating. It really doesn't have to be though. This is why online communities like this exist giving you an avenue to connect with others in the same place.

Your real friends will understand and stick with you. Some of them might drop you, and even a few will come back. I know because I've experienced it first hand. You will be ok. Now here's the good news. You are going to meet so many more new people because of this. Most of which you will probably never see again but will leave you with a life long impact. You'll gain some new friends for sure.

If it gives you any solace. You won't be mobile on a day to day basis until you've got a clutch of cash to sustain you for however long it takes. If you're like most of us, you'll most likely be mobile/stationary while you earn enough to make you mobile on a seasonal basis.

Keep in mind this is just my example of this lifestyle. There are so many other ways it can be done.

Sometimes something as simple as getting a pet is all it takes to end the loneliness.

 

[Donedirtcheap]

You are not locking yourself into loneliness unless you choose to. You may actually be opening yourself up to more opportunity and exposure to others. Half empty half full.

 

[Patrick46]

I feel like very few people truly understand this decision I am making, and I am basically... locking in my loneliness that comes with it for the rest of my life.

Maybe I am just feeling melodramatic, but do any of you feel the same way about this?

If you look at it as something 'for the rest of your life' that you're locked in and can never get out of...well then sure, you're gonna feel lonely!

but, you know what???....You're NOT locked in.

Anytime that this doesn't feel like the right thing for you, then you can always sell your rig and find yourself a different place to live.

It's all about perspective.

If you look at this as a great way to save money, live simply, and maybe even squeeze a bit of adventure out of life...then you're golden!!

go ahead...lock me into that anyday!!

(the alternative stinks!)


Give it and yourself some time. It's new, and it feels different. This will get familiar after just a short bit. You'll develop your systems and ways of doing things, the akwardness will wear off, and the sun will come out.

You know all those trips and things you promised yourself you'd do, once you've made the transition....well now's the time to start!

btw...I reccommend going to the public library. It's a great place to sit and read a book without feeling like you're alone. You can also do your internet stuff there, and often times, it's a great place to strike up a conversation and meet folks too.

 

[One Awesome Inch]

I understand where you are coming from and I think its one of the major advantages of staying in one city (or a few close by). You can build new friendships and maintain previous ones just like you would in an apt. If I were travelling all the time I could see how it could lonely fast. Sorry but internet friends are not the same as flesh and blood IMHO.
The key is to go out and be social. Join a group of some sort be it a chess club, volleyball, book club, cards etc. You have to take an active role. Sitting in your van moping in loneliness will give you more of the same.

Best of luck.

 

[Starlight]

There are permaculture communities and farms that have people live on-site and help -- maybe learn permaculture. Until you mentioned it, I hadn't thought of combining the two -- "full-timing" and "permaculture" -- but basically -- when people start up a permaculture farm they are doing it from scratch -- to establish their food forests -- and that is where the work is -- If you have your own living space -- you're good to go. Quicker than building a straw bale house, fer shure.

 

[akrvbob]

There is a very large and active vandwelling tribe and if you try you can many, many like-minded friends.

I've had 100 times more friends since I became a "social pariah!"
Bob

 

[Fox]

Thanks for the honesty and perspective. Yes, this is an entirely new experience for me. I suppose it's only expected that there are always some discomfort when it comes to lifestyle changes.

 

[Belinda2]

Who is living your life? You, or the social/ family putting their ideas on how you should live?
Stop "circling the drain" and step away from it.
When you have all these "things" in life, all you do is maintain them. ie. House, working to pay for house, working to pay utilities of house, working to upgrade/fix broken thing in house, mowing lawn of house, etc.
Less = more time to do other things!

 

[Lucky mike]

After a while you will no longer feel this way......you will find your true self , the strong one....the one who makes the decisions and leads the way.......it will help you leave behind the one's who decided for you.....you will meet those who travel the same path!!

you are now free to resume watching the nature channel ,commercial free!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Patrick46]

When you have all these "things" in life, all you do is maintain them. ie. House, working to pay for house, working to pay utilities of house, working to upgrade/fix broken thing in house, mowing lawn of house, etc.
Less = more time to do other things!

Uffff!!! That's a great statement Belinda! ^^^ (and definately worth re-quoting!!)

 

[t1022n]

As others have mentioned, I wouldn't feel locked into anything. In fact, if vandwelling isn't making you feel unlocked, I think you must be doing it wrong .

Maybe you can try getting involved in some local clubs or groups that do things you enjoy. I personally love to run and am a part of a running group in my area. Most running groups let you run with them for free and they are everywhere. It's nice to be around people who enjoy the same things you enjoy once in a while.

 

[flying kurbmaster]

Fox I think your concerns are real, wandering around alone on a continent aimlessly, may sound romantic but just doing that, I think, could become very lonely and easy to feel like an outcast in a short time.
We are social beings, pack animals, so we do better if we interact with others, some more then others but we all need some interaction. For me it is important that I have something to do, something to love and something to hope for, in order to feel happy. Some suggestion of becoming a woofer or finding motivation to go places, to see something new, try something you have always wanted to or being part of an event, will lead you to meet like minded people, rekindle old friendships,etc... these will all give you something to do, hope for and perhaps love. Life is full of transitions like Patrick suggested if some of this turns out to be a bad decision just make another one. Best of luck,

 

[Bdog1]

I really seem to end up at campgrounds and have met lots of folks that I wouldn't normally meet at home. Especially if you have a little time to hang out after the weekend crowd packs up. Some have become close friends that keep in contact to this day. I think your giving yourself far too little credit. It's interesting to meet people doing things on their terms and not following the crowd.

 

[GypsySilver]

Hi Fox - I am still working and stuck for now till the lease runs out - end of the year. Getting ready to go and reading/learning. But I have had those same concerns too. Kind of like, once I do this I am just resigning myself to be alone from then on. It is nice to travel but a lot better if there is someone to share it with. So I understand what you are saying.

Right now I am just trying to have faith that what I want to do and what the heart would like, will somehow work out ok.

 

[Drifted_Cowboy]

I'm a social pariah now. I'm going full time fundamentally because it's where I fit and the lifestyle that pulls me the hardest. It's the only place I don't feel as though I am a living conflict. I have yet to meet a single full timer in person but I have a good feeling many of you share some very similar belief structures as us and place many of the same principles in high esteem.

 

[Patrick46]

DC...I think this is exactally why so many of us have found our way onto this site! ^^^


trust me...you're NOT alone with this! :angel:

 

[Lucky mike]

the best part of drifting.....sitting out in the chair in the morning with that cup of coffee or sitting out there in the evening with a cold one and being able to change the scenery without notice!!!!

its a good feeling to be able to make an income and move about doing it....not to mention the country becomes one giant neighborhood that you just move about with ease!!!!

There are lots of fulltimers out here....I meet alot during my walmart pull-offs.....at the flea markets & shows and BLM & NF boondock areas!!

We each have our own story...what led us here and why we go with it!!..........when I came out here this time it was a bucket list choice, and as time went on I found it a wonderful way to keep ones life alive and interesting....it brews its own dreams and adventures!!!!!