This is Nomadic Mario, AKA Aloha Mario on my U Tube channel. I'm not promoting, selling, demanding, or asking subscriptions..yet! First, I've finally made the escape to my life long dream of moving to the Big Island and live off the grid and in the jungle. The hold up has been $$$, stress, worry, fear, depression from past life mistakes, beating myself with regrets, ashamed of things I've done in the past, and all kinds of things I should of, could of... in the past and its been very hard to forgive myself from those past fk ups. I am mostly ashamed and wish my father could forgive me for many wrong things I've done but since he died 5yrs ago he died not seeing his son become new and would of not felt this shame and guilt and wish he could hear me in my talks to him and answer me but I just tend to break down and ask him to forgive me on all the fk ups Ive done and how much I know I dissapointed him. Before he died, I never knew him well, then disowned me for 4.5yrs, mom died after that and when mom died he slowly became my father again and next thing you know he was like my best friend but that lasted very short and died of cancer, he was an RV'r and travel, boondocked and rented RV campsites, he loved the road. He started from a station wagon taking us along, upgraded to a neat van, then an ugly RV with some cheezie logo font that said (Easy Does it) in front of the sleeping area, and finally into a gorgeous modern RV and roamed all over CA, WA,NV,and CO with his sex crazed new girlfriend whom was very tolerant of his mean ways because he still loved my mother very much and told his new girlfriend not to ever expect flowers or the same love he had for my mother. Anyhow, he became like my best and only friend after he died (only 4-5yrs after my mom died so the friendship was short and it was and still is painful, my father became "really cool" when we re-connected. I mean, he would call me in the middle of nowhere and tell ask me for advice on what erection pills to use to bang his girlfriend (the kind you get at truck stops) after he ran out of Viagra! He'd call me all happy and asked me to guess where he was now all the time. He would bring me souveneers )no, not a stupid keychain) from wherever he was. Well, enough of that before I start to cry. Yes, I'm still in California and back and back and to Baja/Tijuana. I have lots of tools and just completed cutting steel to set up my solar panels on my truck camper shell and start to fixup the back of the bed camper shell with everything I need to live. I'm hoping to leave sometime in June, my dog has started the 1st Rabies Vaccine, got his microchip, and have to wait 30days before i give him the 2nd rabbies vaccine and then 21 days after the 2nd vaccine to give give him the big one, a FAVN rabbies test and then some medications for all/any parasites, ticks,fleas, etc..etc...etc... All must be done with in a period, all documents must be original (all of them) and mailed to Hawaii Dep.of Animal/Quarantine Dep, and hand in person an original health certificate from the vet and must not be/arrive no less than 14days after or past 30 days (the health certificate is valid only 30 days) so its a real BS hassle requirements but I have to do this, I MUST! I have not much more to live for here on the mainland and more than 18yrs ago I should of never left Hawaii. The first time I flew there I knew that was my home and only returned because I had a cat whom I loved and lived for almost 18yrs and I also had a lot of "stuff" a nice apartment and all the crap you accumulate when you have enoug money to buy fancy french furniture, Bombay 4 post bed, and a huge entertainment system and all caught up in the "things" and bills lifestyle, dealing with neighbors, managers, etc...etc...etc... Life went bad after my father died and wandered all over CA/CO and Mexico. Bought a big 4x4 pickup and an overhead camper that was falling apart, got rid of it, ended up parking on streets, starring many many times at incoming super fast speeds Amtrack and time the amountof time to jump and get run over, then back to sleeping in the back seat, and slowly buying my 200W powe r setup, all RENOGY, propane stoves, heater, etc..etc..etc... My dog "Max" has saved me everytime I starred and standing so close to the rails of the the incoming train where the power of the air and pebbles almost burried into your skin knowing that I'd be inches away from leaving this world. My dog would suddenly jump on my leg and start at me with his happy look telling me "come on, take me for a walk, lets go." How can deny my only friend anything he asks? He's my buddy, you don't ever let down your buddy! He's faithful, and loves you 1000000000000000000000% to you! I have a certain amount time to put together my solar set up and return to SD to get adjusted with my home because once I arrive in Hawaii I'm not interested in resorts or hotels, my home is my truck and my goal is to find land zoned for agriculture and residence without restrictions to be on the grid for anything. I will struggle at first but It will be a ton of fun settup water catchment systems, planting fruits, veggies, building my fence/wall from lava rocks, chicken coups, a pig or two, meet people to help cultivate land, find musicians to jam with, learn to fish, spear fish, walk in the morning with the suns early AM mist/due, my BIG mug of coffee, and my dog running around without a leash all along the jungle (clothing optional) and start living so I can die easy and extend my life as long and healthy s I can. I believe until then I will finally find peace and be able to forgive my long listof past errors, once I'm on my own land and end my search for a home/land. I want to hear him say one day when I see him again say "well done son, i'm proud of you." Cant wait to see fruit and food come out of the ground and not depend of any SOB company to bill me 300 for utilities or 10 bucks to flush a toilet enjoy my 4x4 and go into secluded areas of island and boondock for days hunting fish and SCUBA diving with good people that I meet. I'm also very very optimistic about finding a life companion and marry, a beautiful wife with long hair. "My Lady of The Island." Crosby Stills Nash.