How do you know when

[Terry]

I have always been the clueless type.&nbsp; And, way back when, I missed a lot of opportunities when I failed to realize when girls were flirting with me. I also passed on a few that were overtly flirtacious and tried to make it seem like I was being too forward when they were the one that did things "amorous'. Like one girl that jumped up into my arms as I was just helping her up from setting on the steps, and said something like "Oh, your so strong.". It was not that I didn't like the girl before, but I don't like people that are such fakes.<br>&nbsp;Right now, Cathy says that her friend is flirting with me as well as saying the lady that sets with her to give me time to breath. Tha lady that sets with Cathy also says that Cathy's friend is flirting with me. I just don't really see it.&nbsp; If these women are flirting with me, what is the tip off? Is a single woman, just being friendly flirting or just being friendly. Also some married women just seem to be acting friendly. Are they also flirting with me. <br>&nbsp;I am still just as clueless as I was when I met Cathy. She was definatly flirting, once we got past the meeting part but she wasn't anything fakey about it I will need help with this someday and I'ld rather gather the knowledge before hand so I won't miss any good opportunities like when I was young. There might not be too many that would really be a 'good" opportunity at this stage in my life.

 

[investigator77]

HI Terry:<br><br>I'm also clueless when it comes to the men!&nbsp; The men who do hit on me make me uncomfortable, and the ones I'm interested in don't seem to be all that impressed with me.&nbsp; That's why I've been on my own for 8 yrs now.&nbsp; I just don't get it I suppose.<br><br>From a womans perspective I would say that you're probaby being flirted with if she reaches out and touches your arm or your knee; plays with her hair; mimics your body language, i.e. turns her body to face you directly, rather than having it turned at an angle to you; lets it be known that she's single; tells you she likes your hair/eyes/smile; laughs at all of your jokes; says you remind her of someone famous (take your pick); asks you tons of questions about yourself; and leans in toward you when you're talking.<br><br>As far as the married ladies, I'm sure MOST are probably just being friendly, but some like to flirt.&nbsp; They see it as harmless fun, or else they're dangling the hook to see if you'll bite.&nbsp; Best to steer clear either way.&nbsp; <br><br>I'm not sure how old you are, but you're never too old to be flirted with!

 

[Stargazer]

You don't need to know if she's flirting or not. Your wife and life partner is terminally ill, you're her caregiver/partner/lover/companion. All you need to do right now is focus on that. There will be plenty of time to think about flirting/dating when it's all over.

Any woman who would flirt with a man in your position is someone you don't want to even acknowledge. What sort of person does that??

 

[Terry]

First off, I do spend most of my time and attention on Cathy. She is the love of my life. I have been setting at her bedside a lot of the past three years, and near by for almost all of the rest of the time. She sleeps a lot so I have a lot of time to do nothing but think as most tv is boring or seen a hundred times and boring. Cathy is the one that keeps saying her friend and the lady that sets with her is flirting all the time and the companion lady agrees when Cathy mentions it about her friend fkitring. <br>&nbsp;Anyway, with all this time on my hands and being a thinker, I question a lot of my past and the experiences I've lived through and weather I am honest with myself or not. I hate being fooled by people and doing that to myself is something I avoid as much as possible. I started questioning myself after my oldest son died. It's a little disheartening to discover that you ego is over inflated and you have done things to people you love that you shouldn't have. Therefore, with a lot of time on my hands, i think a lot about everything, well almost everything.<br>&nbsp;Now, I don't know how this part goes but I don't believe that I'm thinking about dating. I right now, avoid almost all contact with other women because I know Cathy is a jealous woman, I am also jealous about anyone messing with her by the way, and has "visions" of me leaving her for another woman. I can't express how deeply I feel about keeping her mind at ease&nbsp; and not having anything lower her desire to keep living. This woman is told, and shown many times daily how much she is cherished and loved. I believe that these thoughts, and therefor the question, are about how to act and react when I do get out and about, not wanting to go on a date with anyone. Other than Cathy and the companion lady, I don't speak more than 20 words or so to anyone else in a weeks time. I guess/think that I'm just trying to get my mind straight about things that I don't see the same way as those around me. And correct any mistakes in my thinking. And learn how to act/react properly when I'm out and about. This is important to me as i am confused a lot just because of my problems with my hearing. I like to avoid confusion. It has a bad effect on what little confidence I have left.<br>&nbsp;I don't claim to be a saint, but I do believe that I am true to my wife and as honest as I can be without putting myself in danger. I do tell untruths to people to spare their feeling but will tell the truth, even if it hurts, if anyone pressures me for the honest truth. Like Cathy questioning my honesty when I tell her she is still just a beautiful as she was thirty years ago. I'm not always honest and forthright with police all the time. I don't tell my doctors the truth about my cannabis use anymore. Actually, I don't have a regular doctor anymore because I can't take the drugs the keep shoving at me and so there ain't anything they can do for me, unless something breaks or goes haywire and i would use the ER for anything sudden.<br>&nbsp;Also, on the last point, Cathy's friend is a desperate woman. She will latch onto any man like a leach. I am able to recognize this type of woman and avoid them as much as possible. I never look directly at this woman and have as little conversation with her as possible. Cathy loves to have someone to talk to and visit with and that is the only reason that woman is even allowed in my house.

 

[Stargazer]

Terry,

I am not faulting you. I think you have enough on your plate and shouldn't have to worry about being the object of somebody else's less-than-honorable intentions, a distraction you do not need. Perhaps you should have a reasoned, frank conversation with the woman?

Just keep loving Cathy. I promise you...the day will come when you would give your life to have just five more minutes, just one last time.

 

[Terry]

That woman is Cathy's only "friend". Her/our own son hasn't seen her in way over a year and maybe two. He only lives about a half a tank of gas away. She isn't the most likeable person in the world. <br>&nbsp;I have to quit going into me and why because things are really depressing most of the time, But I do know that one day, I'll not have her anymore so I try my best to appreciate the time I have left. Our oldest son was taken away from us without me even thinking about losing him and my mother died a few years later so I learned from all that to appreciate my time with the people I do have left. So I quit soul searching for now.

 

[James AKA Lynx]

BEST!! <br><br>James AKA Lynx

 

[offroad]

keep referencing the caregiver web site i had posted before. topic has been discussed by persons in this exact situation many many times.&nbsp;

 

[Terry]

Thanks OR. I do remember you posting that for me earlier and I believe I went there. Just draw a blank about what I found or didn't find that led me to just leave without bookmarking it. Could have just been "that time of month". I know that men don't have the parts that make that time of month so we're just not as regular as women, but some of us do, or I do seem to have times when things just don't seem to work right. I will try it again and at least bookmark it this time.Thanks for the reminder.