Hi Ya'll

[Terry]

<P>&nbsp;I'm Terry and am waiting to begin a transfer for home base from Fl. to probably Ca.'s desert areas and/or maybe Arizona. I am currently caring for Cathy, my wife of 36 years.&nbsp;Her health began failing&nbsp;a little over two years ago but I keep her in a situation where she is comfortable and seems to be thriving for her condition. She has been under hospice care since 2 years ago but she got her strenght back to some degree but has been either bed ridden or wheel chair bound since then. She has now been under hospice care for over 6 months again, at home with me caring for her and they just send a nurse to check on her and her medications. I'm happy for life to keep on going along as it is but know it won't. So thats me right now.</P>

 

[Guest]

Really glad to see you here Terry....<br>Hang in there guy...you are doing good work!<br>Bri<br><br>

 

[akphotobob]

Sounds like you are angel come to earth. My ex-wife is a hospice nure, and she always said most of her work went toward the family because they were the hardest hit by the situation. As much as you can, take care of yourself so you will always have a little more to give. You have my sympathy and admiration. Bob<br>

 

[offroad]

just fyi. www.wellspouse.org as resource.&nbsp;

 

[Terry]

Thanks for the link.&nbsp; We are still here just keeping on keeping on. Cathy is still my greatest treasure. She is less and less able to do anything for herself but that is what I'm here for. There are times I wish there were some one else to take my place that would have her feelings and well being as a priority but that ain't gonna happen and I won't desert her to the callous care of a nursing home. So I try to find ways to unload without doing anything like screaming or anything that would hurt Cathy's feelings. Even though it is an&nbsp;infrequent occurrence, I'm not always successful and that is my biggest problem. I feel like slime when I do lose my temper with her, but she is still better off whit me than anyone else that has any interest in her. I have been at this for 5 years since she started losing her balance and three years since she has been bed ridden, but, aside from an occasional selfish moment, I am in no hurry for things to end. I will be here as long as Cathy needs me and that is just the way it is and will be!

 

[ilovemyvan]

Hi Terry,<br><br>I'm not sure where you are in Florida but if you're near me I'd gladly help you here and there. Please PM me I'm in central Florida.<br><br>I think about the both of you often<br><br>Nicole

 

[Cambia]

Terry, I know what you are going through, after having cared for my dear Wrench-Hand for 6 years. It was hard and crazy-making and it was the best job I ever had.

Does your hospice program offer respite visits to an inpatient hospice unit? Ours did, and I really urge you to take advantage of them as often as you can. It was the only way I could have time off. Sometimes I didn't do anything except stay home by myself for the whole time. Other times I got to go out of town. It really helped me keep it together the rest of the time, to have that break in my caregiving. And frankly, it also helped me get accustomed to the idea that one day he would be gone forever.

I have a Facebook friend who wrote in her status one day on the topic of loving your body: "This flesh, blood and bone are sacred and holy." I was nailed there for a moment as her words resonated through my body, illuminating the sacredness of the work I was doing in caring for him. It spoke to me so clearly that I wrote the words on a piece of paper and taped it to the bathroom mirror. I read that quote over and over, on days when my burden rested on my shoulders light as a feather and at times when it weighed heavy and onorous. They kept me grounded and centered on this work I had freely committed myself to do: travel alongside my dearest love on his journey to the river, witnessing his dying-work, and supporting him as best I could until he reached that water's edge beyond which I could not pass (for now).

Many blessings to you, my friend, as you do this sacred work.

Ella Cambia

 

[Terry]

They do provide some "companion care" for Cathy. Things were not good before that because it was just me 24/7. There is a waiting list for people in our position to get help here in Florida. It took almost 2 years for us to get to the top of that list.&nbsp; I can't be gone for very long at a time because Cathy needs me to help her move tbetween the potty chair and the bed. I don't want her to feel humiliated by leaving her to potty in the bed and make herself feel dirty. No one else will do it for her so I stay close by. I do get time to do shoping and once a week or so, I just fire up the ol Sporty and ride for about an hour. About the time my back tells me "I need to get off this thing", I find most of the stress is gone and I can come home and&nbsp; face Cathy with a smile again and do whatever she needs me to do.

 

[blkjak]

<span style="font-size: x-small;"><strong>welcome from s.w. florida .... blkjak</strong> </span>